Heartlines
by WalkingWit
Summary: A modern university AU set in a world where Uther is the British government, Morgana is his rebellious ward, Gwen is her indecisive roommate, and Merlin ends up as roommate to the king of clotpoles himself, Arthur Pendragon. A bit of swearing involved.
1. Meetings

**Hello, all! This is a modern AU set in a world in which Uther Pendragon _is _the British government, Morgana is his rebellious ward, Gwen is lovely and indecisive, and Merlin is stuck as the roommate to the king of clotpoles, Arthur.  
**

* * *

**I**

It was a picturesque scene, really. A large, black marble dining room table was decorated with plates upon plates of food: eggs, toast, sausage, hash browns, fresh baguettes, fruits of all sorts, juice, jam, coffee, and tea.

Her guardian, Uther Pendragon himself, sat at the head of the table, newspaper in hand as he read the news. Her foster brother, Arthur, sat across from her, texting and eating at the same time. She picked at her food, eating her toast only. In a few hours, she'd escape this hellhole.

Most would probably find her to be quite contrary, perhaps spoiled rotten. Her parents had died when she was ten, and because she had no grandparents or other family to speak of besides a then-seventeen year-old half sister who had been travelling with her father in America, she was sent to England to live with her father's best friend, Uther. She had tried to adjust as well as she could, given the circumstances.

Uther treated her like a daughter, and she had him wrapped around her finger, for the most part. She was sent to the best prep schools in London with Arthur, had the best clothing, and the most luxurious bedroom a teenager could imagine. Too bad she wanted none of it. She appreciated Uther Pendragon's hospitality, really, she did, but she wasn't meant for this life. She was a stranger in this family.

She scowled and took a sip of coffee.

"Careful, Morgana, your face might stay like that," Arthur mocked between mouthfuls of food.

"Careful, Arthur, you might get fat," she scowled further, only to smirk when he dropped the fork.

"I am not fat," he frowned.

Uther looked up from the paper, somewhat amused, "Hurry up. You've got places to be."

"Yes, finally, away from _her_," Arthur stabbed a piece of toast.

"We're going to the same university, you idiot," Morgana rolled her eyes.

"Just pretend you don't know me, okay, freak?" Arthur asked. Honestly, everyone would think he was like the goth weirdo sitting in front of him.

"Arthur, that's enough," Uther snapped at his son.

Morgana smiled sweetly at Uther, then sent a smirk towards her foster brother.

"Why do we have to go to the same university?" Arthur pouted, "couldn't she have gone back to Ireland?"

"Oh, trust me, I wish," she muttered before taking a small bite of toast and jam. Her head ached from yet another dream, more like a nightmare, and she didn't want to deal with Arthur's crap.

_A woman cradled a body in her arms, his skin pale with hair as dark as night. His red shirt was stained with blood and she whispered ancient words and incantations, to no avail. Black clouds swirled above them, rain pouring on them._

Morgana had woken up in a cold sweat, terrified. What was that? Who were those people in her dreams? It was just a dream.

"Enough, the both of you," Uther frowned, setting his newspaper aside, "I assume you have everything ready to go."

The two nodded in unison.

"Good. Brigitta!" he called for the maid.

"Yes, Mr Pendragon?" she asked.

"Please retrieve Morgana's suitcase from her room. Tell Jonathon to get Arthur's, too," Uther ordered.

"Uther, it's fine. I can carry my own bags," Morgana stood before Brigitta had a chance to leave.

"Morgana, sit down," Uther commanded, "actually, take out that ghastly ring."

Brigitta curtsied and left before witnessing yet another shouting match between Morgana and Uther.

Morgana sat down and brought a hand to her nose, "It's not like you'll have to see it every day. It's in my nose, after all."

"Don't forget the one in your tongue," Arthur helpfully pointed out.

"Shut up! Who cares?" Morgana crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance.

"Morgana, we have a reputation to uphold," Uther started on one of his oft-repeated speeches.

"I'm not a Pendragon, I don't need to uphold your reputation," Morgana snapped. It was an oft-repeated argument. Some things never changed.

Uther was silent for a moment, "No, but you are my ward, and I am your guardian. How do you think your parents would feel?"

"Dad would laugh and mum would throw a fit," Morgana smiled softly, "but she'd get used to it."

Uther's anger seemed to fade at the mention of Vivienne Lefay, the wife of his best friend and his own dearly departed wife's closest friend.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I can take care of my own bags, as I'm not adverse to actually doing things on my own," she sent a pointed look to both Arthur and Uther.

She found Brigitta in the hall and stopped the maid, taking her suitcase from her. It was fairly light anyway; she didn't need a lot of stuff. Most of the clothes she had were ones worth leaving behind. They were so preppy and conservative and stuffy. She had her jeans, her shorts, her assortment of band shirts, some sweaters, and a few blouses. Mostly black, blue, purple, and dark green. She had a preferred colour palette and she'd stick to it. No way on earth she'd take her old school uniform or pantsuits and long skirts and jackets Uther made her wear when they were out for the press to see what a good parent he was to the poor little orphan.

She was leaving and would only return when absolutely necessary (the Friday night dinners having been brought to her attention yesterday). This wasn't her home. It was merely the house (nay, manor) she had lived in since she was ten. Her parents had died long ago; the details surrounding their deaths were still fuzzy in her mind.

She became a teenager and streaked her hair purple. Then she pierced her ears, three in each. She didn't get away with that for very long. The tongue ring was easier to conceal, but her foster brother ratted her out after a few weeks.

She hated it here. She didn't quite hate Uther, but she was under so much scrutiny she felt she would crack. Yes, she appreciated Uther's kindness towards her, but she was stifled. 'Wear this. Eat that. For goodness sake, take out those piercings!'. Well, she'd be rid of that. For a while. She was ready to go. No Uther, no bodyguards. She had cleverly argued that the public needed to see that he was willing to trust his adopted daughter to live on her own, and expected her to be treated as an 'equal'. Luckily for her, appealing to his desire to appear better to the people was always a method to get her way.

Despite Uther's disapproval of her appearance, he was always kinder to her than he was to Arthur. Maybe it was because he expected less from her. Maybe it was because she nodded and agreed with him for the most part, not willing to argue, and since she maintained good grades and excellent A-levels, he just let her do what she pleased. Or maybe it was because she wasn't actually his daughter. Her antics wouldn't ruin his 'good name' whereas one misstep by Arthur would besmirch the Pendragons for eternity.

* * *

She escaped hell. She was at university, living on campus for the first time. Actually, student dorms seemed more like purgatory. The dorms were a group of flats leased by the university for student housing, so they weren't incredibly small or uncomfortable. No, this would do.

Hell was her 'home'. She was immensely glad that she was out from under Uther's thumb. No more galas, no more press conferences, no more arguments over her attire. Now she could focus on her studies, simple as that.

She threw her bookbag on the bed closest to the window, hoping her new roommate wouldn't mind that she'd already made it her own. Her room at Uther's remained in tact, and her guardian stipulated that they (they being himself, her, and her foster brother) have dinner every Friday evening.

She had already resolved to steer clear of Arthur, who was also beginning his first year. The prat probably didn't even have to share a room because of his name. The Pendragons were great benefactors and donators to Albion University. Morgana scowled at the mere thought of the way everyone sucked up to him and Arthur. She didn't hate Arthur, she liked him well enough, and it was fun to rile him up, it's just that he was a bit of a spoiled idiot.

She reached for the pillow on the bed she had just made and screamed into it.

"Erm, hi," a soft voice greeted from the doorway.

Morgana looked up to see a small, petite girl with brown shoulder length curls, wearing a light purple shirt and jeans waiting at the door. The door at the entry way next to the living room was also open.

"Oh, hi. You must be Guinevere! I'm Morgana," Morgana stood hastily, moving to shake the girl's hand. The girl's brown eyes widened and Morgana knew she had noticed the tongue ring.

"Right, hello, Morgana, please call me Gwen," she greeted.

"Gwen, right. I took that bed, hope it's all right," she said quickly.

"It's fine," Gwen smiled and pulled her suitcase in behind her.

"Have you started unpacking?" Gwen asked as she zipped the bag open.

"No, I was waiting we could split the wardrobe space evenly," Morgana said.

"Oh, thank you," Gwen smiled again and the pair set to work, piling their respective clothing onto piles on their beds.

Morgana smirked at the difference in clothes. Gwen's clothes ranged in every pastel colour imaginable, while most of Morgana's clothes were black, purple, blue, or green. Despite their sartorial differences, Gwen seemed like a nice girl, and maybe she'd have a friend who didn't know who she was, who liked her for her and not her connections.

They'd arrange the furniture in the living room as they preferred later, and the small kitchen was already equipped for what they needed.

* * *

He was in hell. Hunith had left hours ago, leaving him to unpack. He was excited to meet his new roommate. _Was_ being the operative word. Arthur Pendragon was a prat. A real clotpole.

"This must be a mistake. I was supposed to have a flat to myself," Arthur grumbled and fished his mobile from his pocket.

Merlin sat on his bed, watching the rich blond speak angrily with student housing.

Upon hanging up, Arthur threw the mobile, nearly hitting Merlin in the head.

"Hey!" the dark haired man shouted, standing up. If this idiot wanted a fight, he'd give him one.

"Sorry," he said, sounding unaffected.

"Look, I get that you're not used to sharing, but this is my room too, and we're stuck with each other, okay, mate?" Merlin was seething. He walked out of their room to the living room. He'd rather sleep on the couch or the floor than spend the night in the same room with that arse.

"Mate? We're not friends, Merlin," Arthur followed him, despite being annoyed with the man.

"You're right. I could never have a friend who's such an arse," Merlin spit out, making Arthur look at him open-mouthed in wonder.

"You can't speak to me like that! Do you know who I am?" he stared at the scrawny boy.

"Arthur Pendragon of the Pendragon family, also a star footballer in the making," Merlin tossed his mobile to Arthur, who grimaced at the picture of him and his father, one of the first results of a Google search.

"Your father _is_ the British government," Merlin smirked, "no wonder you expected a flat of your own. You'd think with your dad's money he'd just buy you a house."

"Shut up, Merlin," the blond frowned.

Merlin shook his head, fairly amused. This would be an interesting living arrangement, to say the least.

* * *

Leave it to her to be running late for her first class. European history, 8 sharp. She had fifteen minutes. She could get dressed and have a breakfast in that time. She was used to running late to events. _Morgana, get down here, Morgana, wash that raccoon makeup off, Morgana, for the love of God take out that tongue ring._

She slipped her jeans and a loose t-shirt on quickly before pulling on her shoes. She tied her hair into a ponytail and booked it out of the dorm room, leaving a still sleeping Gwen alone.

She ran out of the dorm and to the building housing the dining hall. She needed food. Something, anything. This wouldn't have happened if she or Gwen had thought to buy groceries yesterday after unpacking.

She turned a corner, trying to skid to a halt to keep from colliding with another student who too seemed to be running out of the cafeteria.

She wasn't very good at skidding. She slammed into the boy, making them both topple over.

He groaned and she frowned, spewing out apologies to the dark haired man.

"It's fine," he sat up, rubbing his head.

Morgana slipped off of him, offering her hand to help him up. He took it and smiled gratefully.

"I'm really sorry," she said, tossing her bag over her shoulder.

"It's fine, really," he assured her once more.

He was tall, maybe even taller than Arthur, with large blue eyes and dark curls. He wore a loose dark blue shirt and baggy jeans, making him seem very scrawny. She smiled a bit and motioned towards the cafeteria.

"I gotta go," she said, slightly miffed that the man was on his way out of the cafeteria.

"Yeah, me too. Early class," he nodded in understanding, "see you around, I guess."

"Yeah, see you," Morgana stared after him as he walked away quickly, rounding a corner down the corridor.

She shook her head and bounded towards the cafeteria. Why was she focusing on that guy? Sure, his eyes were incredibly blue, but he was nothing special. Baggy clothes, scruffy beard. He sounded Irish. Not from her town, obviously, but possibly Northern Ireland. Perhaps it was that hint of home that made her intrigued. Yes, that had to be it.

She was Morgana Lefay. She was supposed to consort with the children of politicians and lawyers and surgeons. Then again, she was also supposed to dress tastefully and conservatively. She snorted as she poured herself cereal. For her, conservative was a shirt with some band on it and jeans that weren't ripped to shreds, or a dress _not_ paired with fishnets.

Sons of politicians would come to dinner, trying to worm their way into her heart (read: pants) and she'd have none of it. She could see through everyone's bullshit like it was a sixth sense.

She'd see that man around, she was sure of it. She dropped her spoon into the bowl. She didn't even catch his name.

* * *

She did see him again, but didn't catch his name. They were in the same introductory journalism course, to be prepare them for joining the university paper next semester.

Morgana sat in the very back, and the class only met once a week, so she wasn't surprised that he hadn't seen her.

* * *

The first week of university had gone as smoothly as possible. She avoided Arthur as much as she could, him not wanting to be associated with a 'freak'. Even better, no one seemed to associate Morgana with the Pendragons, because she was, after all, Morgana Lefay.

Gwen had begun to decorate their dorm with pictures of her father and brother. Morgana had one picture in their room. It was of her with her mother and father the Christmas she was nine, the last Christmas before they died. The rest of her side of the room was decorated with various film and music posters (_Heathers_, Florence, Muse). Gwen's side was far more tasteful.

"So what music do you listen to?" Morgana asked one evening as they ate leftovers from the cafeteria. Neither of them had spent much time together seeing as how they were still adjusting to life away from home that very first week. That, and they kept different schedules, especially since Gwen had a job at a nearby cafe.

They were in their small living room, Gwen on the couch and Morgana sprawled comfortably on the floor, in front of the coffee table. The telly was on, volume on silent, and the small kitchenette and table on the other side of the flat were ignored for the most part.

"Oh, pop or rock. Not like the really angry rock though," Gwen chewed on a crisp thoughtfully, "most music, really, as long as it's not degrading."

"Nice," Morgana smiled at her and took a bite of her sandwich.

"How are classes?" Gwen asked. She was an art history major, and a damn good one at that. Show her a painting and she'd give the artist, date, and school of art, plus the medium used. Gwen Smith: art encyclopedia.

"Already reconsidering my choices in life," Morgana groaned. She was a media studies major, and really enjoyed it. She had plans of joining the university's paper next semester, as fall term first years were unable to take the class. However, her literature and women's studies classes were already piling on the workload.

Gwen chuckled, "It can't be that bad, we're only a week in."

"Yeah, I guess," Morgana shrugged, "Are you going home for the weekend?"

"Probably not. I don't have a car, so dad would have to pick me up. My dad and brother are always at work anyway," Gwen said, sounding sad.

Morgana frowned. She had just come back from dinner with Uther and Arthur, as it was Friday night, and she was annoyed and still hungry after being served salads and soups and nothing too appetizing.

"We should do something this weekend. Celebrate surviving our first weeks," Morgana said.

Gwen smiled brightly, "Sure."

* * *

The following night, they ended up at a pub that was the regular hang-out spot for students. Gwen wore skinny jeans and a flowing pink top and a dark jacket, looking angelic, her hair pulled away from her face. She wore simple flats, as they weren't going anywhere too fancy. Morgana wore tight black jeans with holes in the knee, and a green tank top, paired with a black short-sleeved vest and converse shoes. She let her hair down, long and wavy, not being bothered to style it.

The pub was nothing special. As it was a Saturday night, it was filled to the brim with students drinking away the week. Morgana found a table towards the back, Gwen following her.

"Should I go order?" Morgana asked.

"Sure. Just a beer, yeah?" Gwen requested.

Morgana nodded, heading towards the bar. She pushed through the crowd assembled, glaring at those getting in her way.

"What'll it be?" a man with long, dark hair asked.

"Two ales and two shots of vodka," Morgana requested.

"Coming right up," the man said, nodding. As he got the drinks, he glanced at Morgana. He sounded Irish. Morgana felt comforted immediately by hearing a voice from home.

He passed her the drinks and nodded in response to her mumbled 'thanks'.

She made her way back to Gwen, carefully trying not to drop the drinks. She scowled when she saw someone had taken her spot and Gwen looked annoyed.

"Oy, blondie, you're in my seat," Morgana said tersely, setting the drinks on the table. The blond turned around and they both groaned.

"Arthur, get the fuck out of my seat," Morgana growled.

"Is that any way to greet your favourite person?" he raised a brow mockingly, nevertheless standing up.

"You two know each other?" Gwen asked politely, for Morgana's sake.

"Family friends," Morgana offered vaguely before Arthur could say anything.

"Yeah," he agreed, "so you're roommates?"

Gwen nodded.

"I am so sorry you're stuck with her," Arthur leaned over to Gwen, who frowned, "she snores."

"She happens to be a wonderful roommate, and we'd like to enjoy our evening out, if you don't mind," Gwen said, surprisingly steely in tone.

Arthur stood up straighter, "Whatever. You've been warned, my lady."

Gwen's frowned deepened, "Do not call me that."

"As you wish, my lady."

With that, the king of the prats himself sauntered away, towards a table with fellow footballers. She vaguely recognised one with broad arms and short, cropped hair. Percy, was it? She rolled her eyes. Of course fellow jocks from Avalon Prep would end up at Albion, not because of their grades or exam scores, but because of their football skills.

"Ew," Gwen shuddered as Morgana sat down.

"I apologise for his ass hattery. He's usually not so bad," Morgana took a swig of her beer.

"Are you two," Gwen trailed off uneasily.

Morgana nearly spit out her drink, "Oh, God, no. He's like a brother. Our parents were, are best friends," she had to watch her tenses.

"Oh," Gwen laughed, "Thank God. I'd hate to see the girl saddled with him for life."

Morgana laughed, sticking her tongue out. She picked up her mug.

"I propose a toast, to a wonderful roommate-ship," Morgana began.

Gwen picked up her own mug, "To us!"

They clinked glasses and while Gwen took a sip, Morgana took a swig.

"This is the calm before the storm, isn't it?" Gwen asked after a few moments of silence.

"What do you mean?" Morgana asked.

"You know, we don't have much to study, finals are months away, we're still relatively sane," Gwen explained, making Morgana grin.

"Sane? Me?" she smirked, and Gwen tried to hold back a laugh.

She was about to say something, when noise from a few tables over caught their attention. Arthur, of course. The blond was facing off against a tall, dark haired man, who had a glass of ale in hand. The man shook his head, trying to side-step Arthur.

"Out of my way, Arthur," he grumbled.

"Oh, am I in your way, Mer_lin? _So sorry," Arthur mocked his roommate.

Merlin scowled, "Get out of my way, you dollop head."

"Dollop head?" Arthur laughed, "please, define dollop head."

"In two words?" Merlin raised a brow.

"Yeah," Arthur nodded, looking less defensive.

"Arthur Pendragon," Merlin said.

Morgana nearly spit her beer out. Whoever this Merlin was, she liked him already. Suddenly, it dawned on her. He was the man from the hallway her first day and her journalism class two days ago. Merlin. He seemed so familiar for some reason, besides having seen him around. The image of the pale, presumably dead man from her nightmare a week ago flashed across her mind. No, it was just her mind associating random people with the ones in her dream. There must be a logical explanation for why she felt close to this man who was pretty much a stranger.

Arthur looked miffed, before laughing, and moved aside to let his roommate pass. For his part, Merlin looked extremely confused.

"Right then. Someone's hand too much to drink. If you'll excuse me," Merlin brushed past him and rolled his eyes. He found a high table towards the back of the bar, near Gwen and Morgana, and sat down by himself, obviously annoyed. He took out his mobile and quickly tapped out a message, before placing it back in his pocket.

"I know him," Gwen's eyes brightened, "he's in my art history class. He's really nice."

"I've seen him around," Morgana said, watching as Gwen smiled and stood, walking over to Merlin. He smiled upon seeing Gwen, immediately far happier than he had been when speaking to Arthur. Who _wouldn't_ be happier away from Arthur?

Morgana shook her head. Gwen seemed to have that effect on every man she met.

Without warning, the pair walked over, and Merlin rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"Hello," he greeted, "I'm Merlin."

"Morgana," she grinned a little at his discomfort, "we actually met briefly. I sort of knocked into you. We're in the same journalism class."

His eyes glinted with recognition, "Right. Yeah. You sit in the back."

"Yep. I hope you made it to class on time," Morgana said as Gwen pulled a chair from another table for Merlin, and then sat down, motioning for the man to do the same.

"With seconds to spare," Merlin said conversationally.

Morgana took in his appearance. Still scruffy and curly-haired, but he'd traded the blue shirt for a green and black checked one. She snorted. They almost matched.

"I'm sorry about Arthur. He's such an arse," Morgana said.

"You know him? Poor soul," Merlin joked, making the women at the table erupt into laughter.

"Family friends," Morgana said without delving into her foster sister status.

"Again, poor soul. He's my roommate," Merlin offered.

Morgana and Gwen looked immediately sympathetic. Merlin chuckled at their expressions.

"He's not that bad. Just bullies me all the time. That's why I hide out in the library," Merlin said, not a tinge of anger in his voice.

Morgana glanced over at her foster brother and his pompous friends. She frowned slightly, remembering how much nicer he used to be when they were younger. She shook her head before turning back to Gwen and Merlin. While she had been off in her own head, the two had taken to a quiet conversation. She smiled. It was obvious Gwen liked Merlin, from the five minutes she'd seen them interact. It was so cute. She just needed to keep Arthur and his womanizing ways away from Gwen.

* * *

**So they've all met. The main four are acquainted. I've got nearly forty pages written up on Word, and definitely have a story plan for the rest of the story. I'd greatly appreciate any feedback and reviews.  
**


	2. Getting to Know You

**Oh, wow. Thank you all so much for your lovely and encouraging reviews, added alerts, and favorites. I do hope everyone seems in character in this, and thank you so much for your support. I'd like to know if you all prefer longer chapters, or short ones. Whichever makes reading this a better experience for you, basically.  
**

* * *

**II  
**

As she looked around her surroundings, Morgana took another sip of her beer, finishing it off. Merlin looked away from Gwen.

"Want me to get you another?" he asked politely, looking between the two women.

"Oh, no that's fine," Morgana shook her head, looking at the line.

"I insist. Gwaine and I are mates, he'll let me through," Merlin smiled and took off before either of them could reply.

"He's really nice, Gwen," Morgana said.

"Yeah," Gwen sighed.

Morgana smirked.

"He's just so polite and reserved. Do you think he's hiding something?" Gwen asked suddenly.

"What, like being a serial killer?" Morgana snorted.

Gwen nodded.

"Nah. I think he's hiding the fact that he's a good shag," Morgana smirked and drank her vodka in one go.

Gwen nearly choked on her laughter.

"What?"

Morgana rolled her eyes, "Look at him. The quiet ones are usually pretty damn good shags, so I've heard."

"Oh, you've heard," Gwen repeated skeptically. Morgana laughed and Gwen followed suit.

Merlin returned with drinks, looking confused upon noticing Gwen's sputtered laughter and red face.

"What did I miss?" he asked.

Morgana looked at him, turning pink because now she wanted to know if he was, in fact, a good shag.

"Nothing," Gwen squeaked for the both of them.

He regarded them suspiciously and set the drinks down, and then sat down.

"So, Merlin, got a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?" Morgana asked, because she wouldn't judge. She was asking for Gwen, of course.

He chuckled, "No. Neither. My girlfriend broke up with me before I came here."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Gwen said immediately.

"It's fine. We're still friends. She's back in Ireland," Merlin shrugged.

"I knew you were Irish. From Belfast?" Morgana asked, pleased she recognised his accent. Was she supposed to express her condolences regarding his status as a single man? She decided against it, as Gwen had already done so.

"Armagh, actually. You're from Dublin?" he asked her.

"Ashford," Morgana clarified, "how long you been in London?"

"Two months, staying with a family friend of my mum's. Helping out with taking inventory at his shop."

"What kind of shop?" Gwen asked.

"Eh, books. He used to be a physician, but he retired a while ago. So he opened a medical book shop," he answered.

Merlin licked his lips as he took a sip and Morgana found herself staring. _Bad, bad Morgana. He's for Gwen. From what I can tell, he's just as polite and lovely as Gwen._

As the night wore on, Merlin opened up a bit more, and they found themselves falling apart in laughter at a joke Gwen cracked.

Morgana clutched her side, while Merlin hit the table with his hand. Gwen too was cracking up, unable to stop.

"And then, he came out of the changing room, wearing a skirt," she finished a tale about how her brother had accidentally ended up in the girls' changing room at the gym, his clothes stolen by an ex.

"I need to meet this brother of yours," Morgana gasped, trying to calm herself.

Before Gwen could reply, they were interrupted by Arthur.

"Morgana," he said, "Merlin, my lady," he greeted them

Gwen scowled and Merlin bit back a smirk at his address to Gwen.

"What do you want?" Morgana crossed her arms.

"I need to speak to Merlin," he said, and Merlin furrowed his brow.

"What is it?" he asked.

"In private," Arthur growled.

"You're not going to kiss me, right?" Merlin looked frightened, "you can't be _that_ drunk."

"Of course not, you idiot!" Arthur turned red, making Morgana burst out in fresh laughter.

Merlin stood and followed Arthur several meters away, Morgana eying the Irishman as he walked away. She would put big money on his baggy jeans hiding a lovely bum. For Gwen, obviously. His presumably lovely bum would be for Gwen. She took a long drink.

* * *

"What is it?" he asked his roommate.

"You know that girl, right?"

"Who, Gwen?" Merlin asked.

"That's her name? Gwen," Arthur looked like a dope for a moment.

"Yeah. What about her?" Merlin crossed his arms.

"Are you two together?" Arthur asked seriously.

Merlin chuckled, "We're friends. She's my buddy from art history."

"Oh," Arthur immediately brightened, smiling, "will you talk to her for me?"

"No way. I'm not getting involved. Do your own woo-ing," Merlin shook his head.

"Mer_lin_," Arthur groaned, "please?"

Merlin sighed, "I'll see what I can do."

Arthur moved to clap him on the shoulder, then stopped short, pulling his hand away quickly. Merlin looked at him as if the blond had grown two heads, and went back towards the table where Gwen and Morgana waited.

"What did he want?" Morgana asked as Merlin sat back down.

"Nothing important," Merlin lifted the mug to his lips and glanced at Gwen, who didn't seem to notice his gaze.

Morgana licked her lips, tasting the ale. Merlin took out his mobile and grinned.

"What is it?" Gwen asked.

"My friend, Lancelot, just sent me a message. He's waiting outside," Merlin stood.

"Lancelot from class?" Gwen asked, smiling upon recognizing the name.

"Yeah. We're going to a less, well, less crowded pub. Care to join us?" Merlin asked, taking his wallet out and placing money on the table to cover the drinks.

"Oh, we can pay for ourselves," Morgana said.

"It's fine. You can pay for the next round," he grinned cheekily.

"We don't want to impose," Gwen said.

"No imposition at all," Merlin smiled lightly.

Gwen and Morgana stood, taking their purses, and followed Merlin out the door out to the late summer night. Arthur watched them leave, frowning. He was supposed get Gwen to come to him, not lead her out of the pub.

* * *

Lancelot greeted Merlin with a handshake, and nodded at Gwen nervously, and then shook Morgana's hand, with Merlin mumbling introductions. Morgana eyed him. Tall, tan, rugged. She had to fight a smirk. Lancelot's behaviour around Gwen was the way Gwen acted around Merlin. It's as if she'd found herself in a very drunken romantic comedy and had been designated as wing-woman. She could be fantastic wing-woman, thank you very much.

They walked a block down the narrow road to another pub. It was smaller, and far less crowded. Morgana instantly decided she liked it better than the loud one they had been at prior.

They sat down at a corner table, Lancelot bringing over four glasses of ale, and Morgana requested some shots of vodka.

"So, you three are in the same class? That must be fun," Morgana said, wondering if there was any room left in this class for her. Everyone around her was so incredibly dull and boring and haughty. She hated it. At least Gwen, Merlin, and Lancelot were nice. And at least now that she and Merlin were acquainted she had someone to sit next to in journalism.

"Yeah," the three nodded, almost simultaneously.

"Gwen talks about you a lot," Lancelot said politely.

Morgana raised a brow and turned to her roommate.

"Only nice things," Gwen said quickly.

"Of course. I'm so pleasant all the time," she snorted, "I apologise in advance for being a bitch."

Merlin chuckled while Gwen and Lancelot looked affronted.

"Sorry about the potty mouth. It's been a curse since childhood," Morgana tapped the side of her glass.

"The first time my mum heard me say 'fuck', she washed my mouth out with soap," Merlin offered, earning a smirk from Morgana. She never would have thought the polite man had quite the dirty mouth on him. He looked so, how should she put this? Innocent wasn't quite right, because there was something in his eyes that gave away the fact that he wasn't so innocent. More like reserved.

"How old were you?" she asked.

"Eh, five, maybe six," he scratched the back of his head and Lancelot laughed.

"My mum would've burned my tongue off," the newcomer cringed.

"You don't cuss, ever, do you?" Morgana narrowed her eyes.

"Not in polite company, no," he said easily, and Gwen smiled softly.

"We're not very polite company," Morgana said.

"I am very polite company, thank you very much," Merlin said with a faux posh air in his voice.

"Or so you say," Morgana smirked and Gwen looked between the two curiously.

"I am incredibly polite," he leaned forward, Morgana matching his movements. Her eyes narrowed.

"In public, maybe," she gave a half-smile. Blue met green as they stared each other down, trying to figure the other person out.

"So, Lancelot, how are your other classes?" Gwen asked, effectively breaking the staring match going on.

Merlin and Morgana leaned back, into their seats.

"Just fine, thanks. It's quite a bit of work, but it's doable," he shrugged.

Morgana bit back a laugh. She was immature sometimes, 'doable'. She flicked her eyes at Merlin who caught her gaze and turned towards Lancelot, appearing to intently listen to Lancelot's description of his chemistry class. Gwen _was_ listening intently, because she liked Lancelot. That and she didn't currently want to watch her roommate try and get one of her first friends at the university to engage in a staring match with her.

After a few more drinks, they decided it was late enough and that they had more than enough to drink.

"It's on me," Morgana said, pulling out her wallet.

"No, I invited you two," Merlin glanced from Gwen to Morgana.

"And I invited you," Lancelot told Merlin, "So I should pay."

"You said I could pay for the next round," Morgana scowled at the Irishman.

"It's been far more than a round," Merlin pointed out, gesturing to the assortment of empty mugs and shot glasses on the table.

She rolled her eyes and Gwen fought a chuckle.

"How about we each pay for our own drinks," Gwen suggested.

"Always the voice of reason, Guinevere," Lancelot nodded in agreement, and Gwen bristled at the use of her full name.

"Lancelot, I've told you. I'm just Gwen," she said indignantly.

"Guinevere is such a pretty name," Lancelot said, smiling.

Gwen smiled slightly and nodded, "It's ancient, though."

"Which one of us here has a normal name?" Morgana snorted, "it's like all of our parents were on crack when they named us."

Merlin started to laugh, and turned it into a cough midway when he noticed Gwen and Lancelot's shocked looks.

The bill was settled and the four new friends (or, at the very least, acquaintances) walked out into the cool night air. They chatted as they walked towards the university's flats, stopping in front of the girls' dorm building.

"Thanks for tonight," Gwen smiled at Merlin and Lancelot, "it was fun."

"Yeah, it was," Lancelot smiled at her.

"See you in class," Gwen said, "You coming?" she turned to Morgana.

"Nah. I'm going to walk around a bit more, not tired yet," she said, lingering outside.

"Well, I'm going to head off. It was nice meeting you," Lancelot said, nodding towards Morgana.

"Likewise," Morgana smiled slightly.

Lancelot nodded at Merlin and Gwen, and waved goodbye. Gwen waved to Lancelot and then Merlin and Morgana, heading inside.

"You just didn't want to walk around, did you?" Merlin asked.

"Nope," Morgana shook her head, fishing in her purse for what she needed. She pulled out a pack and took a cigarette, putting it in her mouth. Merlin smirked.

"Need a lighter?" he asked, taking one out from his pocket.

"I didn't peg you as a smoker," she mused, bringing her mouth towards his hand, letting the flame catch onto the cigarette.

"It's a nasty habit, I know," Merlin picked a pack out of his back pocket, sticking a cigarette into his mouth, lighting it.

Morgana blew smoke out of her mouth, sighing.

"I've tried to quit. It's just fucking hard," Morgana shrugged.

He nodded in understanding, "I started up when I was fifteen. You?"

"Fourteen. Full on teenage rebellion," she shook her head.

"I'm guessing the tongue ring came soon after," Merlin chuckled.

"Ears, nose, then tongue," she smirked, "you noticed my tongue ring?"

"It's not exactly unnoticeable," Merlin averted his gaze.

"Want a closer look?" she blew more smoke from her lips.

"No thanks," he snorted, and Morgana laughed.

"Gwen doesn't know I smoke. I can't tell her. She's so saintly," Morgana took a puff.

"I'd say the same about my roommate, expect Pendragon doesn't seem very saint-like," Merlin blew let out a puff of smoke.

"He's not, trust me," Morgana rolled her eyes.

"Lancelot, on the other hand, is a right saint," Merlin smiled a little. He didn't really want to talk Arthur up to Gwen, when he thought Lancelot was far more suited for her. And it was obvious that he was smitten with the petite woman.

They smoked in companionable silence, and Morgana dropped her cigarette onto the sidewalk, stepping on it.

"Does Arthur know you smoke?" Morgana asked.

"Not as if he'd care, but no. Does he know you smoke?" Merlin asked, wondering how exactly the two knew each other. 'Family friends' was incredibly vague, and it didn't seem like they'd keep the same sort of friends.

"Nope," she grinned. She'd been good at hiding it, "it'll be our secret." She brought her finger to her lips, smirking.

Merlin dropped his cigarette and stepped on it, "I'm trying to quit."

"Aren't we all?" she sighed, "good night, Merlin. It was nice to properly meet you."

"Same here," he said.

He watched as she turned away, walking up to the entrance of the dormitory building. He walked down the block, to the boys' building, taking his time. Arthur was probably still getting himself blindingly drunk. He laughed shortly. Never would he have thought Arthur Pendragon would ask him to talk up a girl for him.

He reached his building and unlocked the door, walked up the stairs, and reached his little flat to see Arthur sprawled over the couch, eyes half closed.

"Hi," Merlin tried not to laugh.

Arthur's face was buried in a pillow, one leg over the edge of the couch, shirt riding up his back. He grumbled something.

"I can't understand a word you're saying. G'night," Merlin went towards the room.

Arthur rolled over, "YOU!"

"Me, what?"

"You took Gwen away. Where were you?" he pouted.

Merlin snorted.

"Well, mother, I walked Gwen and Morgana back to their flat."

"Gwen," he grinned stupidly, "did she say anything about me?"

"Nope. Morgana insulted you enough that she wants nothing to do with you," he laughed at the offended look on the blond's face.

"Morgana," he grumbled, "ruining my life since we were kids. I hate her. Stupid Morgana," he put a pillow over his face and Merlin had the sudden urge to smother him. Morgana was anything but stupid, and good for her if she ruined this prat's life.

"Right. Night," Merlin scowled and stalked off into their room, ready to sleep away what he knew would result in a hangover.

* * *

"Gaius?" Merlin opened the door, bell tinkling to signal his entry.

"Merlin?" came the old man's voice from behind the counter, back turned, "you're here early."

"Class was cancelled," he smiled politely at the man who had taken him in for the summer.

"All the better, then," Gaius smiled at the boy.

"What do you need help with?" Merlin asked, setting his bag full of textbooks behind the counter.

"I have some old medical books that need to be sorted," Gaius said, taking his glasses from his eyes.

"No problem," Merlin grinned, taking off to work. He liked helping who he had at first regarded as a doddery old man. Yes, Gaius was old, but he was still as lively as any man half his age.

* * *

His eyes blurred slightly as he turned yet another page of the textbook. Gwen was seated across from him, writing down an essay, an examination on a particular work of art. They'd been in the library for barely two hours when who else but Arthur Pendragon showed up.

Merlin scowled at his roommate, who sat down next to Gwen. Gwen didn't even look up, as focused as she was on her paper.

"Hello," Arthur greeted politely.

"Hi," Merlin grunted. Gwen nodded in acknowledgement.

"What're you up to?" Arthur asked.

"Studying. It's that thing most students do before a test, when they actually read," Merlin quipped, making Arthur fight an amused grin.

"Right," Arthur said slowly, "Merlin, your laundry's piled up."

"That's yours," Merlin said shortly, "I did my laundry two days ago."

"And you didn't think to ask if you could take mine?" he sounded offended.

"I'm not your servant, Arthur," he rolled his eyes and Gwen smirked ever so slightly. She'd been hanging around Morgana too much.

"I didn't mean it that way. It'd just be the friendly thing to do," Arthur backpedalled.

"The friendly thing to do would be to wash your own damn clothes, and stop leaving all the dirty dishes to me," Merlin closed the book in front of him and stood abruptly.

"If you'll excuse me Gwen, I think I need a break," he addressed his friend.

"Oh, it's fine, Merlin," Gwen smiled at him.

"Good luck on your paper," he said.

"Thanks," she nodded and watched him leave. She turned her attention back to her book, ignoring Arthur.

"So, Gwen," Arthur started.

"Leave me alone, Arthur," Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Why won't you give me the time of day?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Because you're a bully, and a prat," Gwen gathered her books and stood, leaving him sitting alone.

* * *

Merlin walked as far as he could before needing a smoke break. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. Lush grass, tall trees, and no one around; abandoned, as everyone crowded onto the main courtyards and parks. All the better for him, this way.

He took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one with a lighter. He took a deep breath and let out his stress, his frustration. And he was doing so well, not smoking for almost three days. Damn Arthur.

* * *

She trudged into class Thursday morning around 10. She was one of the first students to arrive and the professor wasn't even there yet. She went towards the back of the lecture hall and sunk into her seat. She set her notebook and pen on the desk and crossed her arms, appearing a bit like a petulant child.

Her demeanor was probably one of the reasons she had few friends in sixth form and in secondary school (any friends, really). She kept to herself and her closest friend moved to France for university, so it wasn't like she could call Nimueh up whenever she liked. She had her own life in Paris, now.

Secondary school spent at a private, preparatory academy made her bitter towards the spoilt, entitled children. She came from a wealthy family as well, her mother did, anyway, and Uther, being the Prime Minister, and prior to that, a top politician and businessman, was certainly wealthy too. However, even though she could access her inheritance, she only used it to cover tuition and her clothing costs. She started to work after school at a music shop the day she turned sixteen, and continued to do so to save up money.

She looked up at the sudden shift of weight beside her and smiled.

"Merlin," she greeted.

"Hey, mind if I sit here?" he asked.

It'd been a week since she last spoke to him. That'd been after sharing a smoke after the pub. She'd seen him around with Gwen or Lancelot (or even Arthur) but neither made an attempt to strike up a conversation as they were preoccupied with other things.

"Not at all. Glad to see a friendly face," she said quietly, not wanting her classmates to hear her low opinion of them.

Merlin smirked, "I'm honoured you have such a high opinion of me."

"We Irishmen, regardless of country, need to stick together," Morgana said with mock-seriousness.

"I agree completely," he snorted.

Before they had time to continue speaking, the professor showed up and started a presentation on the decline of print journalism and the rise of blogging.

Morgana alternated between taking notes and doodling in her notebook. She glanced over at Merlin's notebook, watching as slender fingers jotted down whatever he deemed important in small, scratched handwriting. She smiled slightly and leaned her head towards his ear.

"We can finish our conversation later," she whispered.

"As you wish," he turned to look at her briefly, offering a small smile before turning away.

Morgana smirked. She liked Merlin. For Gwen, of course.

* * *

**Another chapter bites the dust. The next chapter includes Merlin and Morgana being left alone by Gwen and Lancelot during a night with one too many drinks.  
**

**Since I've got so much written out already, I should be able to upload a chapter a day, and then taper it off to a chapter every few days until classes at university start once more.  
**


	3. Mates

**Wow. Just wow. The response to this story has been amazing, and thank you for all the reviews, alert adding, favoriting, and following. Just thank you. Long chapters it is, everyone.**

* * *

**III  
**

A month had passed and she seemed to be getting into the swing of university life. She'd have lunch at the café where Gwen worked, sometimes joined by Merlin and Lancelot, or sometimes just Merlin. She was still trying to figure out if Merlin had any feelings for Gwen, but it seemed like Gwen's little crush on Merlin had faded into platonic friendship, or she thought (hoped?). Morgana spent quite a bit of time with Merlin, whether it be studying for journalism together and reading each others' articles, or having a smoke and going out for drinks.

It was a Saturday night when Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, and Lancelot ended up at the smaller pub just off-campus. Morgana and Lancelot were at the bar, waiting for the groups' drinks, and Merlin took the opportunity to tease Gwen.

"So, Gwen, if you had to, Lancelot or Arthur?" Merlin asked, smirk creeping over his face.

Gwen looked flustered, "Neither."

"If you absolutely had to choose, Gwen. Last two men on earth. Well?"

"I'll never have to choose, and I never will," Gwen said shortly, trying to sound pleasant.

"Right," Merlin raised a brow.

"I like more, I dunno, normal men. Like you. Not you, you, obviously, and there's nothing wrong with being normal, but Arthur's a prat and Lancelot's, well," Gwen trailed off, "too perfect. Not that you're not perfect, or there's anything wrong with not being perfect," she started to ramble apologetically.

"Gwen, it's alright, I get it, neither," Merlin laughed good naturedly.

Gwen narrowed his eyes, sending him a glare she must have learned from Morgana.

"Can we please drop this topic?" Gwen asked.

"Of course," Merlin seemed sorry to have even brought up the subject.

Like clockwork, Morgana and Lancelot arrived at their little table, setting some glasses of ale on it, laughing about some joke Morgana cracked.

"Thanks," Merlin and Gwen chorused.

"Not a problem," Lancelot smiled easily, gaze lingering on Gwen a bit too long.

Morgana met Merlin's gaze and nodded her head towards Lancelot with a small little smile. Merlin nodded in understanding. After knowing each other for only a month (though it seemed like they've known each other for a lifetime), they could communicate with only a look or a gesture.

Lancelot and Morgana sat, and the four took long drinks, letting the stress of the week disintegrate.

"Ah, Guinness," Merlin mumbled and Morgana smirked.

"Careful there, Merlin. Don't want to perpetuate the drunk Irishman stereotype," she teased.

"I think you do that well enough yourself," he quipped easily, making her snort in agreement.

After a few shared horror stories about the laundry room, and terrible professors, Gwen claimed she had to leave early she had to work early in the morning. Lancelot kindly offered to escort her home.

"_Right_, walk her home," Morgana cackled, winking at the pair.

Merlin nearly spit out the ale he was drinking at Morgana's wink and Lancelot and Gwen's mortified looks. It was like she knew what he'd been teasing Gwen about earlier.

"Bye," she waved cheerfully at the not-quite couple.

"You're evil," Merlin snorted once they left.

"You like it," Morgana smiled cheekily and Merlin nodded in acquiescence.

"Keeps things interesting," he said.

"See," she grinned.

After several hours, they ended up blindingly drunk and as a result, blindingly hung over. They left around one in the morning, after being sent away by a teasing Gwaine (who, not surprisingly, alternated which pub he worked at every week).

"Get home safe," he watched as the two left, giggling their goodbyes.

They bypassed the row of nightclubs, especially when Morgana noticed her foster brother and his buddies Leon and Percy entering one.

Merlin wrapped his arm around her waist, steadying her as they took wobbly steps towards the row of flats. Morgana rested her head on his shoulder, unable to keep her head upright. She was glad she wasn't wearing heels. Heels hurt, especially when walking down cobblestone sidewalks.

Morgana nearly tripped and cussed. Did she have to swear off boots too?

"I need a cigarette," she clutched Merlin's sleeve tightly, hoping it'd curb her inebriated state.

"You need a good night's sleep," Merlin chuckled.

"No, a cigarette," she pouted.

"You're fucking sloshed and you're trying to quit," Merlin pointed out. Morgana snorted, hiding a laugh. She didn't know why she thought Merlin swearing was so damn funny.

"You're shit-faced, too," Morgana scowled, eyes drooping.

"I'm perfectly fine," Merlin said reassuringly.

"Then more drinks!" Morgana said, pulling his sleeve, leading him to her flat.

"Gwen's got work early tomorrow, er, this morning," Merlin reminded her. He wouldn't mind spending time with new friends, but he didn't want to wake Gwen up.

"We'll be quiet about it. I've got whiskey and vodka," she whispered conspiratorially and let go of Merlin, taking keys out from her purse.

"Maybe another night, yeah?" Merlin rubbed the back of his head.

Morgana pouted, "What, did Arthur give you a curfew?"

"No," Merlin scowled, "you're tired. I'm tired. We need sleep."

"You can crash on the couch if you don't want to walk, and end up interrupting Arthur and a conquest," Morgana offered as she opened the door.

Merlin's eyes widened, "I hadn't even considered that possibility."

Morgana laughed, obviously fueled by the alcohol.

"C'mon, mate."

She led him upstairs to her flat and unlocked the door as quietly as possible. She turned on the light and walked inside, Merlin following. She slipped off her boots, leaving her in brightly coloured rainbow socks. Merlin had to smile. For her tough exterior, Morgana sure liked bright colours, at least when she thought no one would see said bright colours.

Morgana padded into the kitchen and opened a cupboard, pulling out a bottle of whiskey, and motioned for Merlin to sit on the couch. She took out two glasses and set them down on the coffee table.

"To new friends," she proposed a toast.

"To new friends," Merlin agreed.

They sat, drinking copious amounts of alcohol as quietly as possible.

"So, Merlin, what are your hopes? Dreams? Aspirations?" Morgana took out a cigarette. Merlin snatched it from her, scowling.

"You're trying to quit," he held the cigarette from her, scooting towards the edge of the couch, away from her.

"Please, Merlin. Just this one," her green eyes were wide and innocent and he sighed.

She scooted next to him and plucked the cigarette from his thin fingers, placing it in the center of her lips.

"So, dreams? Aspirations?" she repeated.

"Eh, dunno yet. I'd like to be a writer, but that's not very practical, so I'm focusing on science," he took out a cigarette of his own. If Morgana got to smoke, so did he.

He leaned forward and Morgana lit it for him before she lit her own.

"I want to be a journalist. My dad was one," Morgana said quietly, wistfully.

"Was?"

"My parents died when I was ten," Morgana offered, frowning a little.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said.

"It's fine. My dad used to cover big political unrest, upheavals, and scandals in the business sector and government. I have some of his old articles," she said softly.

"Sounds like he was a good man," Merlin puffed smoke from his lips, head leaning back on the back of the couch.

"He was," Morgana's shoulders drooped.

"I never met my dad," Merlin offered, "just me and my mum."

"I'm sorry," Morgana said quietly.

"What a couple of sorry losers we are," Merlin snorted, picking up his shot glass.

Morgana tried to fight a grin, "To us losers."

"To us losers," they whispered, clinking their glasses together so lightly that sound was barely audible.

"Do you always drink this much?" Merlin asked.

"Sometimes. It helps with the nightmares," Morgana shrugged.

Merlin stared at her, as if recognition sparked in his mind, "What nightmares?"

"I have these dreams once in a while, probably from stress or worry. They seem so real sometimes, but it's nothing," she said, not wanting to inform him of just how realistic some of her dreams were. How when she was ten, she dreamed of a terrible accident, and two weeks later, her parents were dead. She didn't want to tell him that she dreamed of castles and knights and magic. They were just old silly stories from childhood.

She didn't want to divulge the fact that her guardian was concerned that she had a mental illness, disturbed from the tragedy, and decided to send her to countless doctors and gave her copious amounts of medicine until she was twelve or thirteen. After that, the nightmares occurred only rarely, but when they hit, they were terrible.

"Well, I'm sure you can take a medicine for that," Merlin licked his lips, thinking.

"Maybe," she murmured. They fell silent.

After a few more hours of more drinking and smoking (and Morgana throwing away cigarette butts into the bottom of the small rubbish bin where Gwen wouldn't find them), Merlin yawned.

"You think Arthur'd be done with whoever he brought home?" Merlin asked thoughtfully.

Morgana wrinkled her nose, "She'd probably be staying the night, if I know him and the kind he's with."

Merlin groaned and Morgana frowned. He didn't have to leave. He could take the couch. Or her bed. No, the couch. Definitely the couch.

"I think I'm going to risk it," he stood, and Morgana followed, bidding him farewell at the door, a bit sad.

"Night, Merlin," she pressed her cheek against the door.

"Night, Morgana."

* * *

The next day, both of them were wearing sunglasses and had dark circles around their bloodshot eyes. Both also received a lecture from Gwen, with a laughing Lancelot not too far away.

Arthur had stared at him strangely all morning, eyes narrowed. It was his inquisition that led him to go to the cafe and end up being lectured.

"What?" Merlin asked, looking up from his book.

"Where were you last night?" he asked.

"Well, mother, I was with my friends," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"And Morgana's a friend?" Arthur ignored the jab.

"Yeah," Merlin said in exasperation, "we done here?"

"Yeah. Fine. You just got back pretty late, or should I say early," Arthur's eyes narrowed further. He may not always show that he cared for his foster sister, but he did.

"If you're implying what I think you are, don't even think it," Merlin grumbled and turned back to his book.

"So nothing happened?" Arthur looked relieved.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I don't kiss and tell," Merlin smirked, nearly doubling over in laughter at Arthur's face turning a brilliant shade of red.

* * *

Classes were difficult, but manageable. Albion University had seven libraries actually on campus, along with an online database that had information on absolutely everything imaginable.

So Morgana found herself, on a late-October morning, sitting at a table, surrounded by books. Her first midterms were a week away, and she'd be damned if she didn't ace them. Besides, studying was always a sure-fire way to get out of dinner with Uther and Arthur.

Not that she'd seen her foster brother outside of 'family dinners' much, anyway.

_"So, Morgana, how's Gwen?" Arthur asked during dinner, earning a somewhat interested look from Uther. Arthur only caught glimpses of the girl when he frequented the café during her shifts or when he followed her and Merlin to the library._

_"Not interested," Morgana took a bite of steak. Uther fought a chuckle, "plus she's over at your place so much I thought you'd know how she is."_

_"When is she at my place?" he sputtered._

_"Whenever she studies with Merlin," Morgana blinked innocently, earning a glare from Arthur, "or maybe they go to the library. Never really paid much attention."_

_"Oh, and you and Merlin are such good friends now, right? He got back pretty damn late last week, four a.m. if I remember right," Arthur rolled his eyes._

_Morgana scowled, while Uther watched in mild amusement. _

_"What, do you track his every move, mother hen? If you must know, he walked me home because we were both pissed," Morgana shrugged nonchalantly. Arthur's eyes narrowed. Merlin had referred to him as 'mother', too. Did these two share a brain? What the hell was going on?  
_

_Uther was used to Morgana's drinking habits and didn't even bat an eyelash. She'd been drinking wine and champagne at functions and galas since she was sixteen, and probably had been drinking before without his knowledge._

_"Like all he did was walk you home," Arthur scoffed, rolling his eyes. _

_Morgana narrowed her eyes and smirked, "You're right. Gwen went home with Lancelot and we fu-shagged. A lot."_

_Arthur's eyes bulged out, mostly from the information that Gwen went home with some guy, and Uther glared at the pair._

_"Enough! Either say something nice or don't say anything at all."_

_"Sorry, Uther," Morgana smiled gently, and earned a small nod._

_"Dad! She just admitted to shagging a random bloke!" Arthur looked at his father in confusion._

_"Arthur, Morgana has been living in this house for nearly nine years. If you haven't yet noticed when she's being sarcastic, then there is something wrong," Uther took a sip of his wine and Morgana smiled at her foster brother._

_"I'll tell Gwen you send your regards," she smirked once more._

_"And I'll let Merlin know you what a terrible cow you are," Arthur bit back, earning a glare from Morgana._

Morgana shook her head at the memory and opened up a textbook, highlighter in hand. Time to tackle European History. Then, she'd move onto her Women's Study class. She'd read _The Yellow Wallpaper_ for class already, but she had a paper to write, due in a few days' time. Then they'd be starting the _Feminine Mystique_ while moving onto a history of England's suffragists. She'd read _Mystique_ once before in sixth form, and remembered how Arthur badgered her to help him understand the point of it all. Idiot.

But first, History. Ancient Greece and Rome were the topics of the first two weeks of class, as a basis for all the rest of western civilization. Her professor already assumed they knew the basics of European History from sixth form, and now bombarded them with texts and essays on and from the Middle Ages.

Her Literature class was focusing on Medieval texts, with legends of courtly love, great kings, marvelous kingdoms spanning entire realms, and chivalry. It made her want to puke, and clashed incredibly with her Women's Study class.

So she read for an hour and a half, hand cramped from highlighting a good hundred pages worth of essays by historians, professors, and learned men from the period. Then she spent another two hours working on her essay about the _Yellow Wallpaper_.

She blinked, taking off her reading glasses, and rubbed her eyes. She gathered her history papers and placed them into the folder. She needed a break. She stood, stretching, and checked her watch. It was two-forty in the afternoon. She supposed she could go outside for a smoke, but she was trying to quit. She sighed and slumped down back into her seat.

"Morgana," came a familiar voice. She turned around to see Merlin walk toward her, bookbag in arm.

"Hi," she waved. He reached her table and placed his bag on it, sitting down in front of her.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

"Not at all. I haven't seen you in a while," Morgana said quietly, unsure if they were friends or merely drinking buddies. The last time they saw each other was in class a few days ago, but they barely got a chance to speak.

"Yeah, well, Arthur seems keen on not letting me out of his sight," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"What? Why?" Morgana suddenly tensed. Did that idiot really believe that she and Merlin shagged?

"I have no idea. Keeps making up excuses, something about being good friends. I think he's using me to get into Gwen's good graces," Merlin shrugged, taking out a notebook.

Morgana laughed shortly, confused, "What?"

"Every time he sees Gwen with me, he's incredibly polite," he scratched his now clean-shaven face.

"Idiot," she muttered.

Merlin grinned slightly, "Yeah, well, it's hilarious. Gwen won't give him time of day. I think she fancies someone else."

Morgana's eyes widened. Had he figured out Gwen fancied him?

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. She spends all her free time with Lancelot, from what I can tell. I try and make myself scarce, making excuses to not go for lunch with them."

Morgana let out a shaky laugh. _Lancelot_. He thought she liked _Lancelot_? Gwen had complained to her a few days ago that Merlin seemed to disappear, never spending much time with her. After that, she had been mentioning Merlin less and less (probably because Morgana herself now spent more time with the man) and Lancelot did seem to be more Gwen's type.

"Are you okay?" Merlin asked.

"Fine. Just stressed a bit," Morgana said reassuringly.

Merlin narrowed his eyes, "Let's go."

"What? Where?" Morgana asked in surprise.

"Out," Merlin stood, shoving his notebook in his bag.

Morgana followed suit, taking her bookbag, and followed him out of the library.

* * *

**This is shorter compared to the first two chapters, but there's more coming soon. Please review and leave any feedback, I greatly appreciate it.  
**


	4. Somewhere Only We Know

**Once again, thank you for reading, etc, etc. Please review and leave feedback, it keeps me writing. There will definitely be more of a bromance between Merlin and Arthur as time goes on (it's a slow-burner), and more issues will be explained, namely: the real reason Morgana's parents are dead, and what exactly happened to magic in the modern world.  
**

**So please read and review.  
**

* * *

**IV**

It was incredibly green, surrounded by trees with wilting, falling leaves of red, yellow, and orange. Morgana smiled softly as a light breeze hit caressed her face.

They'd walked for a good twenty minutes, well away from the centrally populated locations on campus.

"What is this place?" Morgana asked, noticing few people in the area.

"Not much, really. I guess it's an abandoned old park. The courtyard and big park are too crowded," he said, setting his bag on the ground, sitting down.

Morgana sat down next to him, crossing her legs in front of her.

"How'd you find it?"

"On a quest to escape Arthur Pendragon," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Oh, I hope your quest was successful," Morgana smirked.

"Incredibly so. I get this bit of nature pretty much all to myself," he said.

"Why share it with me?" she asked curiously.

"You looked like you could use an escape," he shrugged.

Her breath caught in her throat and she smiled softly. An escape from Uther (and Arthur), an escape from classes, an escape from Gwen's constant cheeriness. Yes, she liked Gwen dearly, but there was only so much optimism she could take.

"I look that tired, huh?" she tried to joke.

"More like you're trying to please everyone, and it's fucking stressing you out. Maybe relaxing would help your nightmares. I dunno," Merlin said quietly.

She looked at him curiously, a soft smile crossing her lips. They were completely hammered and he remembered what she had said.

"Who are you, Merlin?"

"Just a guy from Armagh. All I have is my mum. No dad. No siblings. You?" he asked.

He was a bit surprised that they had known each other for over a month and knew that they had similar tastes in music and liquor choices, but other than that, knew very little about one another.

Morgana figured the truth would come out.

"You told me about your dad, I remember. My parents died when I was ten, like I told you the other night. Uther Pendragon is my guardian. Arthur's my foster brother. My half-sister Morgause lived in America with her father. She travels a lot now that she graduated from university a few years ago," she shared.

"Your brother's an ass," was the first thing out of Merlin's mouth.

"Foster brother," Morgana corrected with a small grin.

"Fine. So, you're the Prime Minister's lovely ward I'd heard so much about," Merlin chuckled.

Morgana's eyes narrowed darkly, "Don't you dare treat me differently. Don't you dare, tell anyone either, Merlin."

"I wouldn't dream of it, either of those things," he reassured her. And she believed him.

They sat in silence, watching the clouds drift from the light wind.

"You know," Merlin started after a few moments, "I wouldn't have recognised you. You look different in the pictures."

"Because heaven forbid I'm photographed wearing a nose ring and ripped jeans when I'm with the Pendragons," Morgana said bitterly.

"You don't hate them, though," Merlin observed, not asked.

"No," she said slowly, "I'm grateful to them, taking in the poor orphan and everything. I know it was partly for publicity, but Uther isn't so terrible all the time."

And he really wasn't. Despite the disagreements over her attire and her lack of friends or interest in high society, he generally let her do what she pleased.

Merlin smiled slightly, "I'm glad."

They fell silent once more and Morgana sighed, fishing a pack of cigarettes from her bookbag. Merlin groaned.

"I'm trying to quit," he wrinkled his nose.

"Me too," Morgana snorted, offering him one. He took it with long, thin fingers, and took a lighter out of his pocket.

"Maybe we should stop carrying these around if we want to quit," he said, cigarette in mouth.

"Maybe," Morgana mused quietly, bringing her mouth towards Merlin's hands. He lit the cigarette and she pulled away.

He lit his own and took a deep breath.

"It'd been all of a day and a half," he grinned, shaking his head.

"More than I can say for me. I lasted through this morning," she hung her head, slightly ashamed.

Merlin laughed shortly, turning it into a cough upon an icy, green-eyed glare.

"We're going to sound so old and die young," Morgana said darkly.

"Unless we quit," Merlin suggested.

Morgana raised a brow, "Four, almost five years of smoking couldn't have done that much damage, could they?"

"Who knows," Merlin blew out a puff of smoke, "but it sure can't hurt."

Morgana pulled her knees to her chest, studying nearly forgotten.

"This is a nice study break. Thanks," Morgana said softly, burning cigarette in hand.

"No need to thank me. You'd find this place eventually, I just sped up the process," Merlin shrugged.

"Hey, Merlin?" she said after a few moments.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think about Gwen?" she asked, figuring she should be wing-womaning right about now.

"She's great, why?" Merlin smiled, confused by the random question.

"Just wondering," she said.

"She's ridiculously kind and smart," Merlin shrugged, "she's pretty too."

"Whole package," Morgana half-smiled.

"No wonder Lancelot and Arthur are falling for her," Merlin grinned, "man I hope she chooses wisely."

Morgana laughed lightly.

"What do you think?" she asked, taking another huff of smoke.

"From what I can tell, she hates Arthur. Lancelot's a more likely contender," Merlin said, voice tinged with faux-severity.

Morgana tilted her head.

"And you?" she asked.

"What about me?" he raised a brow.

"Your feelings towards my lovely roommate. You seem fond of her," she said teasingly.

Merlin's eyes widened.

"Not like that, no. She's a good friend, first friend I had here besides Gwaine, really," he said quickly.

"Oh," Morgana frowned, blowing out more smoke, "Merlin?"

"Yep?" he looked at her.

"Are we friends?"

In that moment, she realised she had never sounded so innocent and childlike since she was a little girl. The little girl with no friends, the one who always got left behind. It was too good to be true, to have Gwen, and now to have Merlin. That is, if he wanted to be friends with her.

"I thought so. Unless you don't want to be…does it ever get less awkward trying to make friends?"

Morgana laughed lightly, "I want to be friends. And I don't think it'll get less awkward. At least, not until we die."

Merlin laughed and nodded, took the cigarette from his mouth and licked his lips.

"I almost forgot," he said suddenly, digging into his backpack, taking out a small vial.

"What is this?" Morgana asked.

"Gaius, the old physician, made this for you. I told him about your nightmares and he remembered how his cousin had the same nightmares as a kid. It should help you sleep, sans the alcohol," he explained, and she took the blue liquid from him.

"Thank you," she smiled, touched that he'd be so willing to help her.

"I should head back to the library and finish my essay," Morgana sighed.

"Right. I've got a lab report for biology to write up, anyway," Merlin stood, and extended his hand for Morgana to take.

She took his hand and he pulled her up.

"You're taking chemistry and biology?" she asked curiously as she picked up her bag.

"Yeah. I figure if writing doesn't work out, I should have a fallback plan. I wanted to be a doctor when I was a kid," Merlin shrugged.

The pair set off back toward the library, walking slowly.

"I don't know if I do want to be a journalist," Morgana bit her lip, "part of me thinks it's just me trying to make my dad proud, instead of me actually liking it."

"You'll figure it out," Merlin said, and Morgana felt a bit reassured that she'd figure things out, eventually.

* * *

She hoped she had the right address. She lingered outside the small little shop, afraid to go inside for some reason.

Morgana held the small vial in her hand, twisting it around. It was nearly empty, and she wanted more. For three days, she had dreams free of nightmares. No deaths, no more images of her parents being consumed by flames in a destroyed car. No dreams about people dressed in chainmail and cloaks that made no sense whatsoever. No more of that woman cradling a man, his shirt drenched in blood.

She got chills just thinking about it. She shook her head and opened the door, a little bell tinkling as she entered.

She looked around, immediately comforted by the cramped space filled with books, upon books, and yet more books. Towards the back of the room, there was a counter, and Merlin had his back turned, stacking thin booklets together. He picked up the booklets and turned around, nearly dropping them when he saw her.

"Morgana," he greeted.

"Merlin," she smiled nervously, "I came to thank you and the physician for this. I haven't had a nightmare in days."

Merlin smiled, "I'm glad to hear it."

He set the booklets on the counter, effectively forgetting them, and walked from behind the counter. Morgana handed him the vial.

"Gaius is in the back. I'll go let him know. Feel free to look around," he said, disappearing into the back room.

Morgana glanced at the books and walked towards the shelves, her trainers squeaking against the old wooden floorboards. She ran her fingers over the spines of a few books, picking one up.

Mythical creatures. She snorted. There was no such thing. There was no magic. She was surprised to find the book written entirely in Irish. What was a physician doing with a book on mythical creatures and the spells used to defeat them?

"Morgana," Merlin re-entered the room and she put the book back hurriedly, as if she were caught doing something wrong.

"Yes?" she turned around, smiling tensely.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Fine. What did Gaius say?"

"He'll have it ready later today. If you want I could just come over," Merlin said, scratching the back of his head, "so you don't have to walk down here again."

Morgana smiled, no longer tense, "I'll hold you to that."

* * *

She waved at Gwen, who rushed out the door, on her to work for a late shift. It was Tuesday evening, but since Gwen had no classes on Wednesdays, she worked late Tuesday nights and early Wednesdays.

Morgana was left alone. She eyed her laptop, tempted to watch every single _Game of Thrones_ episode in one go. However, she had a midterm for her Women's Studies class Wednesday afternoon. Decisions, decisions.

She resolved to be responsible and walked into her and Gwen's room, rummaging through her bag for her class notebook. She went back into the living room and sat cross-legged on the couch, reading her notes.

After ten minutes she decided she was hungry and went into the kitchen, opening the fridge. She pulled out a carton of Chinese food from Sunday night. Surely, it was still edible. She shrugged, placing it in the microwave. Once ready, she set it on the coffee table, and settled down on the couch, picking up her notebook once more.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. She jumped for her seat and ran towards the door, forgetting that she wore check black and purple pajama bottoms and a black tank top. She opened the door, eyes widening.

"Merlin!" she said, smiling a bit.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked.

"No, come in," she stepped aside, letting him in.

He walked inside, looking around, "I'm interrupting a study session."

"It's fine," she brushed off his concern and closed the door.

"I brought you some more sleeping aids," Merlin took the small vial out of his bookbag.

"Thanks," Morgana smiled softly, taking it.

"No problem. I should get going," Merlin walked towards the door. Morgana's smile faltered.

"Merlin," she said quickly, "I was just wondering what was in this."

"Oh, right," he dug in his bag again, taking out a paper.

She took it, reading. Valeryian, chamomile, lemon balm, and a bit of rosemary.

"Thanks, just wondering," she folded the paper.

"'Course. Gaius asked me to make sure you're not taking any medications, too," Merlin said.

"Nope. None," she shook her head, dark waves covering part of her face.

"Well, happy studying," Merlin said, reaching for the door.

_Merlin, stay. _She nodded her head, shaking away that particular thought.

"Bye. And thanks again," she smiled quickly.

"See you in class," Merlin left, leaving Morgana to glare at her notebook.

* * *

Merlin returned to the physician's shop, later in the evening. He pulled out a book, one about potions, and walked to the stairs in the back room, walking up to Gaius's flat.

"Merlin, what's wrong," Gaius asked from his seat on the couch, telly turned on.

"Nothing, Gaius," his thin, pale fingers ran over the book spine and the yellowed pages. He'd seen it before in the shop, but he had seen it even before then.

"Merlin, you sure you're alright?" Gaius asked.

"Yeah. Just tired. You mind if I take this?" Merlin asked.

"Not at all, go on."

* * *

Gwen held a tray of food in her hands, an order of soup, chips, and a sandwich. She walked quickly to the table, setting it down in front of the couple, who thanked her politely. She rushed back towards the counter, frowning when she saw the display of cakes was already mostly missing.

She turned to head towards the store room to take out a few cakes from the large refrigerator.

"Gwen," came a voice she recognised. She turned around and cringed.

"Yes, Arthur?" she said shortly.

"I was wondering if you'd care to have dinner with me sometime," he said, flashing that Pendragon grin.

"I'm a bit busy here," she narrowed her eyes, pointedly leaving him to go to the store room.

She emerged with two cakes, one in each hand. She set them in the glass display and looked around the café, waiting to see if someone needed a drink refilled (hoping that someone need a drink refilled).

"I don't mean now, obviously, but whenever you're free," Arthur said, still smiling.

Gwen turned to him, eyes narrow, "Look, I work practically everyday. I have a full course load. I need to work to pay tuition, because unlike you, I'm not given everything on a silver platter, Mr Pendragon."

Arthur's smile turned into a frown, and he crossed his arms.

"I don't have everything given to me," he said quietly, brows furrowing.

"Look, Arthur," Gwen placed a hand on his shoulder tentatively, "I'm not looking to be in a relationship, and frankly, I don't think I'm your type," she lifted her hand away.

"How would you know what my type is?" Arthur asked, crossing his arms.

"What do you really know about me?" Gwen asked.

Arthur looked at her, thinking.

"See," Gwen smiled softly and walked to a customer who needed her drink to be refilled, leaving Arthur.

He needed to tell her what he knew about her. That she was the loveliest person he'd ever met, and that he wanted to get the chance to know more about her.

* * *

Merlin flipped through the book, finding the potion he'd given Morgana. It was an ordinary herbal remedy with one major difference; it used magic. But magic wasn't real and didn't exist. So it was probably just a normal remedy, nothing to worry about. But still. _Magic_.

His mother used to tell him stories of a land of myth and a time of magic, of great kingdoms resting on the shoulders of the prince's servant and closest friend, of dragons and knights and evil and good. Of a princess who turned to the dark side when betrayed by the prince's servant, all of the good in her, tainted because the man she loved most didn't trust her.

His mother always said that there was magic, a long time ago, but modern life made it less necessary. That the less people believed, the less magic there was. She had always spoken so wistfully, that they were so much closer to their magical roots, them being Irish. Merlin never really understood where she was going with her long, winding stories.

Merlin shook his head. They were just stories, and nothing to worry about. Magic wasn't real. There were no dragons, no sorcerers and sorceresses, and nothing to worry about.

* * *

Morgana had fallen asleep on the couch, food half-finished, notebook on the table. She had taken a small sip of the remedy, ready to sleep.

_She saw herself, only, not herself, not really. She was on the ground in a lovely green dress, hair and makeup immaculate. Except she was sweating and so extremely scared. She clutched her throat, unable to breathe._

_In front of her stood a man, his back turned. She looked at him imploringly. He turned around, face hidden, and tried to hug her in comfort. She slapped his hands away, terrified. He tried to hug her once more, and settled for holding her from behind as she awaited a certain death._

Morgana woke up, sitting up immediately. Maybe she needed more than a little sip. Maybe it was making her hallucinate. At least she wasn't seeing her parents die, over and over again. At least now her mind and imagination were just messing with her. She got off of the couch and checked the time on her watch.

11 p.m. on a Tuesday night. Gwen should have been home already. She looked around, rattled from her dream. She licked her lips and crept into the bedroom quietly. Gwen was asleep, having gotten home just a half hour earlier.

Morgana opened the door to the wardrobe and put on an oversized jumper and slipped her trainers on.

She took her keys, wallet, and pack of cigarettes and lighter, quitting be damned. She left the flat, running outside.

* * *

His eyes were tired from reading the potions book. Why did everything seem so familiar and so strange?

Arthur had gotten home an hour ago, complaining of how Gwen had rejected his advances, and for a moment, Merlin had actually pitied him.

"I don't understand her, Merlin," Arthur said.

"Maybe she really is busy all the time. She does nothing but work and study," Merlin pointed out.

"Or she fancies someone else," Arthur said, looking at Merlin a moment too long.

"Who? Me?" Merlin snorted at the absurdity of the thought.

"Who else? _Morgana_?" Arthur frowned.

"Well, they are roommates," Merlin appeared thoughtful.

"I have half a mind to punch you for that," the blond frowned.

"Protecting your sister's honour, are you?" Merlin asked with a small smile. Then he froze. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"You know she's my father's ward?" Arthur's brows raised in surprise.

Merlin nodded silently, looking down.

Arthur laughed, "She must've been incredibly drunk, letting that slip."

"She wasn't drunk," Merlin said through gritted teeth.

"Did she quit smoking, too?" Arthur asked, laughing once more at Merlin's surprised look, "I'm not as stupid as I look, Merlin. I could smell the smoke off of her just like I can smell it off of you, now."

"I had you judged wrong, Arthur, you're not as daft as I thought," Merlin complimented, earning a light punch in the arm.

"So, what do I do about Gwen?" Arthur asked.

Merlin thought for a moment.

"Lay off for a while. Give her some space. Apologise and tell her you want to be friends. I'll vouch that you're a nice guy," Merlin said finally.

"Really?" Arthur's eyes widened, smile disbelieving.

"Really," Merlin nodded.

They stood, Arthur to go to their room, and Merlin to go out. Arthur clapped his hand on Merlin's back, and Merlin raised his arms.

"Whoa," Arthur said, backing away.

"I thought we were going in for a hug," Merlin tilted his head.

"No," Arthur said firmly, "Night, Merlin."

He went into their room, ready for sleep.

Merlin felt tired, but he had more important things to think of. Why did it never cross his mind before to ask Gaius what the hell he was doing with magic books?

Merlin took his keys, pack of cigarettes, lighter, and wallet. He could try to quit later.

He took the path towards campus, cutting through the shortcuts he'd memorised weeks ago. He knew the way well, to his favourite spot.

In a half hour, he reached the little park, his very own garden. He smiled, letting the cool air clear his mind of anything, everything, that was troubling him.

He walked towards a bench, surprised to see a figure already sitting there, knees brought to his (her?) chest. He walked closer, recognising the figure.

* * *

**It's pretty obvious who's there. Please let me know what you think of this chapter and the story in general. I'll begin updating in longer intervals soon, as work picks up and I need to go back to university soon. As always, I greatly appreciate any feedback and reviews.  
**


	5. Of Midnights and Magic

**Once more, thank you for reading. I noticed that the reviews have tapered off, but I really do appreciate any comments, suggestions, or criticisms. Thank you all for reading/following/reviewing/etc. I really, really value your support.  
**

* * *

**V**

_He walked towards a bench, surprised to see a figure already sitting there, knees brought to his (her?) chest. He walked closer, recognising the figure._

"Morgana?" he asked.

She turned around, cigarette in mouth. She smiled crookedly, having been caught smoking. Apparently she had the same idea Merlin did.

Despite her dream not involving her parents and their untimely deaths, it was all she could think about. It was the one topic that dominated her thoughts. Quite frankly, a dream about her choking didn't seem relevant. She decided it was just symbolic, how she felt she was choking under the pressures of university. That had to be it.

Back to her parents. Things just didn't add up. A simple car accident shouldn't have caused so much damage. Gorlois and Vivienne Lefay were found dead on the site of the accident. _Accident_. It couldn't have been a murder, because why would anyone want them dead? Vivienne was from old money, a housewife and socialite. Gorlois was a journalist, quite well known under his penname. He only used his penname when covering political scandals or governmental issues. The rest of the time, he used his real name when reporting on the stock market. He also owned shares in Uther's old business, but that neither here nor there.

Merlin sat down next to her and she handed him her lighter, which he returned, taking out a lighter of his own. She chewed on her lip and looked at Merlin.

"Do you ever have a feeling you're missing something so obvious and so important, but you just can't figure it out?" she asked.

Merlin let out a puff of smoke, having lit a cigarette of his own, "Quite recently, actually. Why?"

"I had a dream," Morgana started.

"Did the medicine not work? I could ask Gaius-" Merlin started, only to be interrupted by Morgana placing a hand on his arm.

He tensed. The last time she had touched him was when he was nothing but a support so she wouldn't fall over drunkenly, little more than two weeks ago.

"Merlin, it's fine. It works fine. It was a weird dream, but that's not what I'm worried about," she said, shrugging off the image of herself in a fine dress, choking.

"Then what?"

Her grip on his arm tightened, and her green eyes were large, and scared. Never had he seen her look scared, in their young friendship.

"I think my parents may have been murdered," Morgana said quietly, cigarette nearly forgotten. It all made sense, if someone had figured out her father's alias, and how he knew every secret about every politician. But why hadn't Uther helped him if he and her mother were in danger? It made no sense.

Merlin was quiet and Morgana let go of his arm. He missed the contact.

"Sorry. Just me theorising in the middle of the night," she said ruefully.

"It's fine. Why, though?" Merlin asked.

Morgana explained about the alias, the scandals and the secrets. Merlin nodded slightly, understanding.

"Enough about my crazy theories. What brings you out here?" she asked, changing the topic.

"Do you believe in magic?" Merlin asked.

Morgana smiled, "In a young girl's heart?"

Merlin chuckled, "No. Real magic."

Morgana looked thoughtful, closing her eyes.

"I think so. A long time ago, there was magic. Like in the stories my mum used to tell," she sounded wistful, "in a land of myth-"

She was cut off by Merlin, "And a time of magic."

She opened her eyes, staring at him curiously.

"The destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of one man," they said simultaneously, softly.

"How?" she shook her head in surprise.

"My mum used to tell me that story when I was a kid," Merlin smiled slightly.

"Of the princess who was betrayed by the servant, the one she loved most," Morgana said, mostly to clarify.

"All the good in her was tainted and she turned to the dark side, wanting revenge, using magic for evil," Merlin added.

"Did your mum ever name them?" she asked curiously.

"No. The princess was called 'The Lady' or 'The Priestess', the servant and warlock 'Emrys'," Merlin's brows furrowed, trying to remember.

"And the prince was just 'The Prince'," Morgana said.

"Yeah," Merlin nodded.

Morgana sighed. It was strange, that both their mothers told the same stories. Maybe it was an Irish thing. She didn't know.

"Why this sudden fascination with magic?" Morgana asked.

"Just thought the world would be a lot more interesting if we all had magical powers," Merlin shrugged.

Morgana laughed softly, tossing her cigarette onto the ground. She stood and stepped on it.

"We just have to make due with what we have," Morgana said, shrugging.

Merlin stood, nodding, "I guess so."

"I should probably head home. Exam after lunch tomorrow," Morgana played with the edge of her jumper.

"Yeah," Merlin agreed.

Just as they were about to go their separate ways, thunder clapped and rain fell.

"Oh, this is perfect," Morgana looked up at the sky.

"The weather report did protect rain for tomorrow," Merlin said thoughtfully. It was also November, and rain was to be expected, especially in England.

Morgana looked at her watch. It was nearly midnight, "Almost on time."

Merlin chuckled and moved next to Morgana, unzipping his jacket, handing it to her.

"I can't take it. You'll get soaked," Morgana said, refusing. She was a bit taken aback. That small gesture was one of the nicest things anyone had done for her. Merlin was far too nice to be friends with the likes of her. She was a brat with a bad attitude, but it didn't faze him one bit.

"Go on, you have a longer way to walk than I do," Merlin said insistently.

"No, Merlin," Morgana shook her head.

Merlin rolled his eyes and held the jacket over his and Morgana's heads. Morgana wrapped her arm around his waist, breath quickening.

"Ready?" he asked.

She nodded, and they took off running towards the dorm buildings.

"Oh, shit," Merlin mumbled upon nearly tripping over a loose cobblestone.

Morgana laughed loudly, making him scowl.

"I could've died," he said dramatically.

Morgana laughed even more, trying to calm herself down, "Sorry. I just find it hilarious when you swear."

"What? Why?" Merlin asked, nearly out of breath from the running and talking.

"Because, you're so fucking cordial all the time," Morgana said, breath ragged.

"What do you want me to be, a complete prick?" Merlin asked, confused.

"No, never. I just like you better when you're not always so guarded," Morgana said, slowing down. They were still about ten minutes away from the flat.

"I could say the same for you," Merlin quipped easily, walking quickly to match Morgana's pace.

"Well, I already apologised for being a bitch," she couldn't breathe.

She stopped suddenly, heaving for breath. She doubled over, clutching her stomach.

"Morgana, are you okay?" Merlin asked, worried.

She knelt onto the ground, in the rain, rubbing her throat.

"I can't breathe," she choked out, heaving. She gasped for air, her throat feeling constricted.

Merlin's eyes widened, scared, "It was the running. I'm so sorry, what do I do?" he panicked.

She felt dizzy, and Merlin sunk onto the ground, trying to hold her. She slapped him away. She wasn't weak. She didn't need any help.

"I just need to catch my breath," she felt dizzy, her vision blurring.

Merlin held her, arms tightening behind her, "Just breathe."

She took deep breaths, closing her eyes. That's what she got for being so out-of-shape and for smoking so much. She opened her eyes to see Merlin's face above her, face pale and blue eyes worried.

"I'm fine," Morgana murmured, trying to stand.

Merlin wouldn't let her go, his hold strong.

"Merlin, please, I'm fine," she said tiredly. And she was supposed to take a midterm tomorrow? Today?

Merlin stood, helping her up silently.

"Let's walk this time," he said quietly. Morgana smiled a little, nodding.

He held his jacket above them, to shield them from the rain, but it was no use. They were both drenched, soaking wet. Morgana finally conceded to wearing his jacket and wrapped it around her, several sizes too big. (It was fairly large on him, too).

They finally reached her building and she looked at Merlin, not quite ready to go inside.

"Thank you, Merlin, for everything," she said softly. For listening to her crazy theories, for caring enough to find a remedy to cure her of her nightmares, for being so nice, for giving her his jacket, for holding her when she fell.

"It was nothing," Merlin said, perplexed. He was just being nice to a friend.

"It's not nothing," she slipped off his jacket, handing it to him. He took it from her, taking in her appearance. Wet clothes and dark, frizzing hair, but she still looked lovey.

She licked her lips nervously (Morgana was rarely nervous) and opened the door, waving farewell to a still-confused Merlin.

* * *

Early the next morning, Merlin ditched his chemistry class and ended up at Gaius's.

"Merlin, what are you doing here?" Gaius asked.

"What did you put in that potion?" Merlin asked darkly. He'd examined that book repeatedly.

"Whatever was on the paper, Merlin, why?" Gaius asked in confusion.

Merlin dropped the potion book on the counter, "Then why couldn't Morgana breathe last night? And why did she have a dream that obviously left her shaken?" he nearly yelled.

"What were you doing with Morgana last night?" Gaius asked, raising a brow.

"That's not the point!" he shouted.

"Merlin, Morgana has a gift, an ancient one. A gift of sight; her dreams may be prophetic and this potion may not be able to block them all," Gaius explained.

"How do you know?" Merlin asked, no longer yelling.

"Uther Pendragon was an old friend; he once asked me to provide medicine for her nightmares," Gaius explained.

"So you gave her a potion? Magic isn't real, Gaius. Maybe she is a seer, or whatever-"

"MERLIN!" the old man shouted, "Magic was once as prevalent as an internet connection. It still exists, in certain individuals and at certain locations. It's not as strong as before, but it still exists, my boy."

"That's ridiculous," Merlin muttered.

"Think, Merlin. Have you ever done something inexplicable, something the laws of physics deem impossible?" Gaius asked.

Merlin thought back to his childhood. He remembered Will and the ladder falling out from underneath him, and Will suddenly floating in midair. Other instances like that, all throughout his childhood. Strange events like that tapered off as he grew older.

"The magic is in you, Merlin. Not a lot, but the ancient powers are still alive and well," Gaius said.

Merlin remained silent, feeling sheepish for accusing Gaius of trying to hurt Morgana.

"And before you ask, no, you can't do spells or incantations," Gaius informed him, though that wasn't what Merlin was going to ask.

"Sorry, Gaius," Merlin said, still mulling over the revelation that magic was in fact real. In small amounts, but real.

"It's fine, Merlin. Now get to class."

* * *

Morgana left her class, feeling indifferent towards the result she'd get on her midterm. She'd just have to try harder on her final exam next month. No big deal. Her head ached and it was nearing four in the afternoon. She needed tea or coffee, so she decided to head towards the cafeteria, as she didn't have the energy to go to the café.

As she exited the lecture hall, she bumped into someone. Large hands rested on her arms, steadying her.

"Sorry," she mumbled, looking up, "Merlin," she brightened.

"Hey," he let go and her face darkened a bit.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

They were standing far too close to one another. It would be too easy to simply close the distance between them.

"Looking for you. I wanted to see if you were okay," Merlin said quickly, slightly embarrassed.

"I'm fine, Merlin," she placed a hand on his shoulder, much like the night before, "I've got a headache, but I'm fine."

"Tea?" he asked.

"Tea would be fucking amazing right now," she smiled.

"Want to come by my flat?" he asked, "Arthur's at football practise."

Morgana nodded. He had answered her question before she even asked.

They walked out of the building holding several lecture halls and made their way towards the flat, bookbags in arm.

Merlin unlocked the door, leading her upstairs. Once inside, he put his bag on the floor, Morgana doing the same.

"Please excuse the mess your brother made," Merlin said, motioning for her to sit down on the couch.

"Foster brother," she corrected with faux annoyance.

"Right," Merlin snorted, remembering to never forget the distinction. Morgana sat down and Merlin walked into the kitchen, pouring water into a kettle. He let it boil and took out two mugs from a cupboard.

"Black tea alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," Morgana twisted around on the couch, taking in the flat's appearance.

It was nearly identical to hers and Gwen's, but a bit messier. Morgana lived in organised chaos, while Gwen was extremely orderly and always picked up after both of them. To make the cleaning duties fair, Morgana offered to vacuum and dust each weekend, and to take her laundry to the laundry room and look after it. Morgana had originally offered to take Gwen's clothes to the cleaners she used (courtesy of the Pendragons) but Gwen firmly refused. So she settled for the laundry room and always took a textbook or a book she had been reading for fun.

Merlin poured the tea into the mugs and walked over to the couch, setting the mugs of steaming tea onto the coffee table, and sat down next to Morgana.

"Thanks," she said softly. She was so incredibly tired.

She had taken a steaming hot shower last night and changed into warm pajamas before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

"How are you feeling, though?" Merlin asked, blue eyes full of concern. Once again, Morgana had the sinking feeling in her stomach, that Merlin was far too kind to be friends with the likes of her. Gwen was too nice, as well. While Lancelot wasn't a friend, he was incredibly polite. Never would she have imagined that she, the shrew and orphan of the Pendragon household, would be surrounded by such kind people.

"Tired," Morgana admitted. Just as Merlin was about to say something, she smirked, "Don't you dare apologise."

"How'd you know?" he asked, taking a sip of tea.

"Wild guess," she picked up the mug, letting the warmth seep into her pale hands. She noticed her manicure, a deep purple, was chipped. Oh well.

"Hungry?" he asked, regarding her weary frame.

"No, thanks. Gwen left early today, but she left breakfast for me," Morgana said.

"That was hours ago," Merlin narrowed his eyes, standing.

"What are you doing?" Morgana asked.

"Cooking," he answered, already in the kitchen.

Morgana turned in her seat, watching him take out a pot and fill it with water.

"I hope you like spaghetti," he said.

Morgana chuckled and stood, taking her tea with her to the counter in the cramped kitchen. She leaned over the counter and watched as he put the pot on the stove, letting it boil.

"Merlin," Morgana said quietly.

"Yeah?" Merlin asked, arms crossed.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she asked.

Merlin looked confused, "What?"

Morgana sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"No one has ever been so nice, for no reason at all. What do you _want_?" Morgana asked sharply. She had grown used to people being kind to her to make their own ends meet. By the time she was in secondary school, she had learned to keep people away from her. Until now. She let Merlin (and Gwen) in, and she was terrified. The only person she had before was Arthur. They used to be so close as children, thick as thieves. Then their interests became too different and they became like strangers living in the same house.

"I don't _want_ anything," Merlin still looked confused, "I thought we were friends."

"Nothing at all? Not being seen with the Prime Minister's ward, not anything?" Morgana narrowed her eyes at the man.

"No. Nothing. I didn't even know until recently about you being Uther Pendragon's ward, if you'll recall. Tell me, Morgana, was I a complete dick then?" Merlin asked, jaw set in confusion.

"No," Morgana said slowly, "but how am I to know…"

She trailed off, setting her mug on the counter. She leaned back, backing away.

"How are you to know what?" Merlin asked gently, "I don't understand."

She gulped, "How am I to know you're not using me like all my other so-called friends before?"

"Morgana, what did they do to you?" Merlin's eyes flashed angrily, stepping from behind the counter, touching her wrist softly. She pulled away.

"Nothing. Just used me to elevate their status. The girls at Avalon all pretended to be my friend, all the boys pretended to like me," she blinked, growing paler than she was.

"Morgana, what did those shitheads do?" Merlin asked, looking murderous. She would've laughed at his swearing had he not looked so angry.

Her jaw shook, ever-so-slightly, before she stopped herself. She would not break down or show that those stupid kids affected her all those years ago.

"Why do you think I dress like this, the piercings, the black? I like it, yeah, but it keeps people away, just like my sour attitude does," Morgana avoided the question.

"You're not sour," Merlin said, "you're great."

Morgana laughed softly, almost bitterly, "You see the good in people, Merlin. It's going to hurt you one of these days."

"Maybe, but I'm willing to risk it," a beat, "you never answered my question."

"Can we drop it, please?" Morgana asked, "I'm sorry I even brought this up."

"Whatever they did must have been terrible if it's made you so angry at the world. You're a good person, Morgana, you just have to let yourself accept that," Merlin smiled gently and patted her on the back, a bit awkwardly.

Morgana looked at her shoes, then at Merlin, chin quivering. Nope. She would not cry.

"I'm a terrible person," she said firmly.

"You're wonderful," Merlin moved his hand to her chin, brushing it gently with his thumb.

"Merlin," she closed her eyes. This was not happening. Gwen liked Merlin. What was she doing? She was a terrible, awful person, as usual.

She opened her eyes, and looked over his shoulder.

"The water is spilling from the pot," she said numbly.

In a flash, the moment was gone and Merlin was back in the kitchen, turning down the heat on the stove. She discreetly wiped her eyes of unshed tears and picked up her now cold tea.

She moved back to the couch, sitting cross-legged.

"Mind if I watch some telly?" she asked as if nothing happened.

"It's Arthur's, not mine," Merlin said. The flats did not come equipped with television sets. Morgana and Gwen didn't have one since they watched shows on their computers, but Arthur Pendragon just had to have one, didn't he?

"I'll take that as a 'watch what you want'," she said with a small smile.

"Right," Merlin snorted, pouring spaghetti into the boiling water.

He moved back towards the couch, keeping his distance respectful. He should _not_ have been standing that close to his roommate's foster sister.

"I'm not a leper, nor will I strangle you," Morgana said, eyes fixed on an old episode of Doctor Who. She watched as the ninth Doctor cheekily piloted the TARDIS, Rose and Jack on board.

"I know that," Merlin grumbled, and Morgana laughed.

"Such innuendo on a children's programme," Morgana mused aloud.

Merlin snorted, "Right?"

He stood, going to check on the spaghetti. Once cooked, he poured out the water and took out two plates from the cupboard.

"Sauce?" he asked.

"If you have it," Morgana said, her stomach grumbling. Okay, so she was hungry.

He piled the spaghetti and marinara sauce on the plates, grabbed two forks, and walked back to the couch. He set a plate in front of Morgana and she smiled.

"Thanks," she said, "and sorry about my outburst."

"It's fine. We all have our moments," Merlin shrugged, making light of it. He still wanted to know what exactly had made such a nice person so cold to the world around her.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Are you still thinking about your parents?" Merlin asked suddenly.

"Always, but I don't know. Part of me thinks they were murdered. The other part of me thinks I'm just being paranoid, looking for someone to blame it on. If they were alive, I wouldn't be here. Well, maybe. I'd have stayed in Ashford, gone to school there, had actual friends," she set her plate down.

"You have friends now," Merlin said, smiling lightly.

Morgana stared at him, smiling because for the first time in years, she didn't feel so alone, "Yeah. I do."

"Are you still thinking about magic?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Just a fairytale," Merlin whispered.

"Like I said before, I think it existed before. Even now, part of me thinks it's real. Maybe we can't see it or sense it, but it could be all around us," Morgana confided, "the stories my mother told me seemed too elaborate and detailed to not have any truth in them."

"Maybe. But what if it corrupts?" he asked, remembering the betrayals of the story his mother told him.

"Or it could be used as a force for good," Morgana smiled softly.

"Morgana, it's just a fairytale, stories we were told as children."

"Do you really believe that?" she asked quietly.

They stared at each other, once again having a moment of sorts. Before either could say anything more, the door burst open, Arthur already talking.

"Merlin, can you take a look at my ankle, Percy stepped on it-" the Pendragon stopped short as he saw his roommate and foster sister sitting closely together, eyes locked on one another.

They turned to Arthur, the moment lost.

"What in hell is going on here?" he asked gruffly, putting on his 'big brother' voice.

"Eating," Morgana said innocently, watching Arthur's face turn a brilliant red, the same red Uther's face turned when she had been suspended for punching a boy in her class.

"Merlin," he growled lowly, "explain."

"Spaghetti. Don't worry, there's enough for you," Merlin quipped, smirking.

Arthur's eyes narrowed and he nodded suspiciously. Right.

"I'm not a doctor, Arthur, I can't diagnose your ankle," Merlin said as the blond limped across the living room.

"Yes, but you work for a retired physician," Arthur said, "I was thinking you may know how to deal with this."

"Just go to the campus nurse," Merlin frowned.

"He's afraid of the doctor's. Campus health falls in the same category," Morgana informed him.

"Ah," Merlin nodded.

Arthur sunk onto the couch in the small space between Merlin and Morgana. The two brunets scooted towards the edges of the couch.

"So, what were you talking about? How amazing I am?" Arthur asked.

"Oh, of course dear sir," Morgana snorted.

"Lift your leg up," Merlin stood, making room for Arthur to prop his injured leg up. Morgana scooted back on the couch even further.

Arthur did so, cringing. His face was sweaty and his clothes for practice worn with dirt.

Merlin placed light fingers on his ankle. It was definitely bruised, and a small gash was visible.

"You didn't complain all practise?" Merlin asked, shaking his head.

"'Course not. Can't whine," Arthur said.

Morgana rolled her eyes and Merlin retrieved a first aid kit from what she assumed was the bathroom. Merlin wiped the wound with alcohol, making Arthur flinch. Morgana snorted.

"Aw, poor baby," she cooed.

"Shut up," he said through gritted teeth, turning to glare at Morgana.

"Arthur, shut up," Merlin scowled as he wiped the gash with ointment and wrapped a bandage around it.

"That's it?" Arthur asked.

"Just keep it up, and maybe put some ice, even though it's already bruised," Merlin said.

"Thanks, mate," Arthur stood, a bit wobbly.

"Mate? I thought we weren't friends," Merlin said with a small smirk.

"That was then," he shrugged, limping towards the bedroom, "I judged too quickly."

"Likewise," Merlin crossed his arms as Arthur disappeared from sight.

Morgana looked at Merlin, "I should get going. Thanks for the tea and food."

"Don't mention it," Merlin shrugged off the thanks.

She stood, Merlin doing the same. She took her bookbag from the floor and Merlin opened the door for her.

"Bye, Merlin," she said quietly, leaving.

"Bye."

He walked back to the couch, tired from a most interesting two days.

"Merlin, have you seen my green shirt?" Arthur called from their room. Merlin stood, groaning.

* * *

**Once again, thank you for reading and please review. There are more Arthur and Merlin buddy scenes to come, as well as Morgana investigating her parents' deaths, in following chapters.**


	6. Idiots, the Pair of Them

**Thank you all so much for all your support, I really appreciate it. I've been busy with work lately, but I'm still writing and continually trying to improve.  
**

* * *

**VI**

Gwen sighed tiredly. Her feet ached, and her arms were sore from carrying trays all day. She had a lunch break earlier, but that was it. Her shift was finally coming to an end as she greeted the waitress taking her place for the evening. She shrugged on her coat, needing it as the November wind caused quite a chill, coupled with the rain predicted to stay the entire month.

She walked to the door, opening it to leave. She took a breath of fresh air, instantly feeling better.

"Guinevere!" called a voice from across the street.

She waved, "Hi!"

She looked both ways, then ran across the street to greet her friend.

"How was work?" he asked politely.

"Tiresome," she said, rolling her eyes in faux anger.

"Want to go get some food?" Lancelot asked.

"I really should get home. I have class tomorrow and I'm really tired," Gwen smiled sadly, "another time?"

"Whatever works for you. Let me walk you home, at least," Lancelot offered.

"That'd be lovely, thanks," she smiled more brightly.

* * *

Morgana wrinkled her nose at her article for class tomorrow. She should've asked Merlin about it earlier. Oh, well.

She thought about what Merlin had said about being a good person. She snorted. She was kind and loving as a child, but she grew up. Soon enough, Merlin would be hurt by someone he trusted and cared for, and she was terrified that it would be her to do it.

She shook the thought away andkept typing on her laptop. After a few corrections, she opened an internet browser and typed in her father's name: Gorlois Lefay.

A wikipedia page popped up. Business journalist and shareholder of stocks in Camelot Enterprises. Married to Vivienne Dulac Lefay, with one daughter, Morgana, and one step-daughter, Morgause Essiter.

Morgana was well aware that her parents were married later in life, what with Morgana having a sister seven years older than she was. She frowned. It seemed like no one knew of what her father reported on under a penname. Her mother was also a shareholder of stocks in Camelot, a business started by Uther Pendragon in the 1980s, and handed over to Agravaine Brittany, his wife's brother and his business partner after his election to Parliament. Years later, his wife died after their son's birth, and he gave the rest of the shares to Morgana's parents. This was something she wasn't aware of.

If it hadn't been her father's reporting that killed her parents, could it have been those shares? But why not just buy them from her parents, why kill them? Maybe it really was just an accident, and she was being paranoid.

She closed her laptop, confused. She shook off the ill feeling she had. She wasn't going to worry about it any longer. Her parents died in a terrible accident. There was no intrigue or murder. Her imagination had gone too far.

Morgana got up from her desk and flung herself onto her bed, curling up into a little ball. She just wanted to go home and for her parents to be alive. Was that too much to ask? She made herself sick. She lived in a lovely house, and Uther was perfectly nice to her, and Arthur wasn't so terrible. She received a top-notch secondary school education and now attended one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Before, she could complain about having no friends, save for Nimueh. Now she had at least two, who were exceedingly kind. So why was she so miserable and sullen?

She closed her eyes. _You're a good person, Morgana, you just have to let yourself accept that. _Great, now Merlin was in her head. She had been a good person once, long ago. She'd been so stupid and naïve, too. She had built walls and was just fine with that, thank you very much.

Except those walls were crumbling. First with Gwen's friendship, now Merlin's. So far, he'd kept his promise. No one knew that she was Uther's ward. Maybe it was because the press always referred to her as Morgana Dulac, using her mother's maiden name since her family had more societal and political clout, or because of her more severe appearance in real life. She didn't care. All she knew was that Merlin kept his promise.

She didn't have a nightmare, or see a vision, or whatever. Instead she saw herself, a little ten year old dressed in black. A seventeen year old Morgause hugged her, patting her head.

_"My dear sister," she murmured into her ear, "I wish you could come with me."_

_"Why can't I?" Morgana sniffled into her half-sister's blonde hair._

_"Uther Pendragon is your legal guardian now. You'll get to play with Arthur," Morgause tried to sound optimistic. She knelt in front of Morgana, holding her hands._

_"I don't want to live with them," green eyes pooled with fresh tears, "why did mum and dad have to get into an accident?"_

_Morgause's face turned stony, as if she was hiding something. She rubbed Morgana's shoulder, trying to smile._

_"Accidents happen, Morgana," she sounded tense._

_"It's my fault," Morgana whimpered._

_"No, sweet sister. Never blame yourself," Morgause hugged her close. She'd been far from her sister for too long, and it broke her heart._

_"I had a dream they died," she whispered into her sister's hair._

_"That doesn't mean you caused it," Morgause assured her._

_"Then what was it? What was wrong with the car?" Morgana demanded._

_"Not what, but who."_

It was at the lot outside of the church in Ashford, near the cemetery where her parents were buried, that the seed of doubt concerning the deaths of the Lefays was planted in Morgana's mind. Morgause had been cryptic, but tried to assure her it was just a coincidence. For years, she had ignored the niggling doubt she had regarding the 'accident'. Even as a child, she noticed the cold, almost angry way that Morgause looked at Uther, scowl on her face. She didn't know why. Now she had a sinking feeling that maybe Uther knew that someone was after her parents, for some strange reason, and had let them remain in danger.

Morgana turned over, eyes still shut. Morgause had to know something. She knew everything, it seemed.

_"Come along, child," Uther said as gently as a Pendragon could, a small Arthur at his side._

_Morgana looked back at Morgause and Morgause's father. She shook her head._

_"Why can't I stay with them?" she asked desperately._

_"Your mother and father named me as your guardian, Morgana," he said stiffly, "I'm merely fulfilling their wishes. You've always had a place in our home."_

_Morgana shook her head once more, running back to Morgause. She flung her arms around her sister's waist, crying. Morgause's father looked on sadly. She looked so much like Vivienne it was uncanny._

_"Morgana, it's what your parents wanted," he said softly. He was so much kinder than Uther._

_"Will you let Morgause visit me?" she asked._

_"Of course," Mr Essiter nodded. _

_Morgana begrudgingly went back to the Pendragons, grimacing as Uther hugged her, mumbling something about her poor, dear parents._

Gwen shook Morgana awake gently. Morgana opened one eye, still sleepy and disorientated.

"Your class is in an hour. I thought I should wake you," Gwen said brightly.

"Oh," Morgana sat up, rubbing her eyes, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," she smiled.

Morgana narrowed her eyes.

"I didn't hear you get in last night. You seem happy," Morgana observed, getting out of bed.

"You were asleep when I got home," she said, "and Lancelot walked me."

"Oh, Lancelot walked you," Morgana smiled teasingly. Gwen blushed.

"Nothing happened," she said.

"You wanted something to happen?" she raised a brow. She opened the wardrobe door, pulling out dark jeans and a blue jumper.

"No!" she said quickly, "he's a friend."

"Right," Morgana said, not convinced in the least.

She let the topic drop and Gwen left, leaving Morgana to get dressed. Five minutes later, Morgana walked into the living room wearing her clothing and bright purple socks. Gwen poured water from the kettle, making herself a cup of tea. A red ribbon was weaved into her hair, matching the red and black checked shirt she wore with blue jeans. Now that Morgana got a better look at it, she realised it was her shirt that she had told Gwen she could borrow. She decided that it suited Gwen far better than her, and that the borrowing should just be keeping.

"Tea?" she asked.

"Please," Morgana slid into a seat at their small kitchen table.

"How was your exam?" Gwen asked.

"Eh, fine," Morgana shrugged.

"Please don't tell me you locked yourself in here to study more after," Gwen looked at her like a parent scolding their child.

"No, I had tea at Merlin's, well, Merlin and Arthur's," Morgana said, taking the mug from Gwen.

"How is he?" Gwen asked.

"Merlin or Arthur?" Morgana asked.

"Both, I s'pose."

"Merlin's Merlin," Morgana smiled a bit, "and Arthur hurt his leg playing football."

"Is he okay?" Gwen seemed concerned.

"Merlin's playing doctor," Morgana smirked.

* * *

"Merlin, my leg hurts," Arthur pouted, leg propped up on a pillow on the couch.

"I'm not your servant, Arthur, get your own ice," Merlin grumbled as he packed his bag with the necessary books.

"Mer_lin_," Arthur whined.

Merlin zipped up his bag and walked to the kitchen, taking out an icepack from the freezer. He tossed it to Arthur, who caught it easily. Arthur placed it on his ankle, sighing in relief.

Merlin shook his head. He didn't quite want to play doctor to Arthur, at the moment. Or, ever.

"Well, bye," Merlin waved, leaving, receiving a grunt in response.

* * *

Morgana was seated in the back, as usual. Her hair hung around her face, as if shielding her from view. Merlin frowned slightly. Her shoulders were hunched, whereas she usually sat and stood tall, graceful. Gwen was the clumsier of the roommates, but it was endearing and sweet. Morgana's grace and cold attitude made her incredibly unapproachable. But approach Merlin did.

He sat down next to her, as he had been doing for weeks on end. She looked up and blinked, as if surprised to see him there.

She had thought he'd steer clear of her after her near emotional breakdown just yesterday. Yet here he was, smiling and friendly as always.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hey," he nodded, "how are you?"

"You mean am I still an insane bitch?" Morgana asked wryly.

"You're not a bitch," Merlin frowned.

Morgana smiled lightly, "You're too nice."

"You're too hard on yourself," Merlin pointed out.

Morgana remained quiet and looked at Merlin in annoyance. Merlin chuckled and Morgana shook her head, trying not to smile.

"Hey," he started, only to be interrupted by the professor.

"Good day, class. Please hand in your assignments down the row," he said.

Papers shuffled and students whispered, passing the articles to the person sitting in front of them.

"What were you going to say?" Morgana asked.

"Nothing," Merlin shook his head, cheeks turning light pink.

"What?" Morgana had the urge to prod him with her pen.

Merlin tilted his head, regarding her critically.

"Lunch, after class?" he asked.

"Sure," she agreed easily. She wouldn't turn down food. Or Merlin. Mostly the food.

* * *

They walked towards the cafeteria, Merlin informing her that they were meeting Gwen on the way. Morgana bit her cheek. She and Gwen hadn't spent much time together lately, and she missed her roommate. Finals were in a month's time, and then they'd be on winter break for weeks on end.

Morgana nearly stopped walking upon realizing what being 'home' meant. No more freedom. No more doing whatever she damn well pleased. No more Gwen to talk to about anything and everything, no more Merlin to make her feel like a decent human being. She felt sick.

Merlin noticed the apparent look of derision on her face and nearly laughed.

"What's wrong?" he asked as they left the building housing several lecture halls.

"I realised what Christmas break means," Morgana scowled.

"At home with the Pendragons," Merlin's eyes twinkled mockingly.

"Ugh," she shoved him lightly, making him snort.

"It can't be that bad," he said skeptically.

She glared at him and he raised his arms in surrender. They spotted Gwen at the entrance of the cafeteria and Morgana waved manically.

Gwen laughed, greeting her friends happily. It was her day off of work and her literature class had gone well, so she was in good spirits. The three walked into the cafeteria, immediately heading towards the buffet line.

They piled bowls of soup, pieces of bread, potatoes, and roast beef onto their trays.

"How's journalism going?" Gwen asked as they sat down at a table.

"Not bad," Morgana said.

"Yeah. Maybe I should stick to science," Merlin wrinkled his nose.

"What? Why?" Morgana turned to face him, confusion apparent on her face.

"I'm better with science," he shrugged.

Morgana squinted, "Your articles are so well-written, though."

"I'm not quite sure that would translate into well-written novels," Merlin pointed out, "plus writing's not practical in the long-run."

"To hell with practicality. Do what you love, not what makes more sense," she said fiercely.

"That's easy for you to say, you're not exactly poor," Merlin said.

Gwen watched, tense. She did not want to know how to deal with Merlin and Morgana if they weren't on speaking terms. While Merlin was always pleasant, she was sure he'd be terrible once on his bad side; Morgana was cold as it was, though Merlin's influence was making her less distant. The two of them fighting would probably make the entire cafeteria explode.

Morgana's mouth twisted into a frown, "Yeah, my family has money. So? I still work hard."

"But you don't have to worry about making ends meet, or paying the next bill, or helping your mother pay off her debts, ever," Merlin matched her frown.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, "You've got me there."

"See?" Merlin took a bite of his food.

"But that doesn't mean you should give up on being a writer," she tried to convince him.

"Maybe you're meant to be the writer, Morgana, not me," Merlin suggested.

"Or the both of you could be writers," Gwen suggested, earning grins from both.

"Or both of us," Morgana agreed.

"Or both of us," Merlin echoed.

_Us_. It sounded so foreign.

"How's art history?" Morgana asked, taking a bite of bread.

"Amazing," Gwen smiled, "I could just look at paintings all day."

"You do," Merlin and Morgana chorused. They shared a look, making Gwen laugh.

"Fair enough," she said lightly.

"What's your final exam in that class going to be, anyway?" Morgana asked curiously.

"Analysing paintings, the medium used, the painter, the meaning behind it," Gwen listed.

"What she said," Merlin pointed at Gwen.

Gwen shook her head, "Honestly, Merlin. You know more than you think."

"Sure," he snorted.

"That's how I feel in any math or science class, to be honest," Morgana interjected.

"But you've got like, perfect A-levels," Gwen narrowed her eyes.

"Perfect A-levels?" Merlin nearly choked on his soup.

"Near perfect," she corrected.

"Oh, near perfect," Merlin rolled his eyes.

Morgana stuck her tongue out at him childishly. Merlin's gaze lingered on her for a moment (it was the tongue ring, really) and then made a face, sticking out his own tongue.

"Stop it, you two," Gwen chided them. She tended to do that quite often. First it was the drinking and cigarettes, looking after them, and now the constant teasing. She glanced at Merlin, who had turned his attention back to his food, and at Morgana, who alternated between stealing looks at Merlin and eating.

_Idiots. The pair of them_, Gwen thought.

* * *

Arthur rolled over on his stomach, eyes closed. Suddenly, early morning light flitted through the window, making him groan.

"Rise and shine," Merlin chirped brightly, grinning. Arthur had overslept. Again. Merlin decided to be a good roommate and wake him up. It was finally finals week, and he'd never hear the end of it if he let Arthur miss an exam.

"Merlin!" Arthur grumbled, "you say the same damn thing every morning, can't you think of anything else?"

"What do you prefer? Up and at 'em? Let's have you lazy daisy?" Merlin asked, hands resting on his hips.

Arthur sat up, glaring, his hair a mess. Merlin's hair was messy, too, his ears sticking out adorable. He stopped himself. Whoa. Merlin was not adorable. Puppies were adorable. Merlin was sort of like a puppy, though. All big eyes and ears and easily excitable and a bit too trusting and dumb. Except Arthur knew Merlin wasn't dumb; he was one of the smartest people he knew, what with his easy comebacks and witty (sometimes mean) remarks.

Arthur reached behind him for his pillow, throwing it at Merlin. Merlin dodged it, just barely.

"I see you've not had breakfast you cantankerous ass," Merlin snorted.

"Cantankerous, what the hell does that even mean?" Arthur looked around the room in annoyance.

"You'd know if you had breakfast, your brain would be quicker on the uptake," Merlin said cheekily.

"Breakfast. I'll have you for breakfast," Arthur grumbled, then stopped, eyes going wide.

Merlin stared at him, blue eyes as wide as saucers.

"Arthur, I, er, I don't feel quite the same way about you," Merlin said slowly, as if Arthur was incredibly dim.

"You idiot! I don't feel that way either," Arthur wrapped his bedsheet around him, feeling a bit exposed.

"You don't? Because having me for breakfast sounds a bit…" Merlin made a face at the thought of him and Arthur _together_.

"It was just a figure of speech," Arthur pouted, gathering his lips together.

"You're brain must be in dire need of food. There's breakfast on the stove if you're hungry," Merlin said, feeling a bit nauseous.

"Thanks," Arthur said, still clutching the sheet around him, as if to protect himself. Nevermind the fact that he was incredibly proud of his physique and walked around shirtless often. Now was the time to be modest.

"Any time," Merlin said, leaving the room.

Arthur sighed in relief, and got out of bed to get dressed. Him and Merlin. Pfft. They weren't even _real_ friends. They were too different. Hell, he thought he'd hate the Irishman. Except somehow, the gangly man had wormed his way into his life, always surprising him with kindness and a good sense of humour. He hated to say it, but a bit of his heart went out to him.

* * *

**There wasn't too much Merlin/Morgana interaction this time around, but winter vacation and all it entails is coming up in the next chapter. Hint: It includes a surprise trip home. It's already written, I just need to edit it. Thank you for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following. Please review.  
**


	7. Snow Falls

**Thank you all so much for all of your support, I really appreciate it. I've been busy with work lately, but I'm still writing and continually trying to improve. I really value feedback from readers.  
**

* * *

**VII**

"Did you ever think to tell me you're Arthur's foster sister?" Gwen asked, brown eyes sad.

"I didn't think it was important. I wanted you to like me for me, not for my family and connections," Morgana said earnestly.

"I do like you for you. We're friends, Morgana, aren't we?" Gwen said, sitting down.

Arthur had found her at work to invite her to his Christmas party. When Gwen had asked if Morgana was invited, Arthur replied that 'of course she was, she lived there', without thinking.

"Of course! Gwen, I am so incredibly sorry. I don't want you to hate me," she said.

"I don't hate you. Just upset you didn't trust me," Gwen shrugged.

"You know how guarded I am," she told Gwen, who conceded to this point.

"Look, Morgana, I wouldn't have treated you any differently, vague relation to Arthur Pendragon or not," Gwen promised.

"I know. I should have told you sooner. I am so sorry," Morgana said, taking a deep breath.

"It's okay. I get it. I wouldn't want to admit being related to Arthur, either, even if it isn't even a blood relation," she crossed her arms, smirking.

Morgana laughed.

* * *

She stood in the courtyard, coat buttons fastened haphazardly and beret askew. She loved the first snow of the winter season: the way the flakes floated down gently, so beautiful and delicate. She smiled, her warm breath mingling with the cold air. This is exactly what she needed to relax before her final examinations of the term.

"Morgana?" it was him. She knew it. They always tended to find each other when no one else was around, whether it be in the corner of the library at odd hours studying, or late at night when it seemed all of the world was asleep.

"Merlin," she greeted him, offering a small smile.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, breath dancing in the air.

"I could ask you the same thing," she raised a brow.

"I helped Gaius close up and stayed over at his for dinner. We got to talking a lot," Merlin explained, "your turn."

"It's snowing," she beamed childishly.

"I can see that," Merlin snorted. Flecks of freshly fallen snow were peppered throughout his dark hair.

"I love the first snow," Morgana sighed. It'd been rainy lately, rain with a lot of hail and ice, but no snow, until now.

"You're going to catch a cold," Merlin said matter of-factly.

"But it's so beautiful out," she glanced at him briefly before turning away. The stars were marred by clouds, and the only light out were the streetlamps that illuminated the snow.

Merlin was quiet. He looked at Morgana fleetingly before nodding, "Beautiful."

They remained silent, watching the snow fall, standing stupidly without anything to say. Merlin wanted to ask about exams, to tell her to go home and sleep to get enough rest, but he couldn't. He'd never seen the young woman so at peace and serene, especially so calm without a cigarette, so he thought he should let her be.

"I should go," he mumbled, hands shoved into his coat pockets. He had forgotten his gloves and was freezing.

"Oh," her face fell before once again assuming its indifferent expression.

Merlin frowned, noticing the change in her. They'd catch their deaths if they stayed, and he couldn't invite her to his flat because Arthur would be a prat about it.

"It's cold and late," Merlin said awkwardly.

She nodded minutely, standing there in the snow. He noticed her jacket wasn't even buttoned properly and scowled.

"Did you just notice the snow from a window and run outside?" Merlin asked.

She finally looked at him, smiling sheepishly. He didn't know she could be sheepish. She nodded and he grinned.

"Do you want to come by and have some tea? Gwen's probably still up studying," Morgana looked at her watch. She appeared shocked at how late it was. No wonder there was scarcely a soul out. The cold and late hour, combined with finals continuing on the next day, was more than enough to keep students inside.

"Sure," he agreed.

They ended up joining Gwen, who was harried and tired and going mad with her studies. Morgana put on a kettle of tea for the three of them and Merlin made toast while Gwen kept studying.

The three friends ate, all the while quizzing Gwen on her history, asking questions from the textbook. After an hour, Morgana made Gwen stop studying. Morgana too took studying too far, often running herself ragged, so she could tell when someone needed a rest.

For the past two weeks or so, Morgana hadn't been eating normally, using every spare moment to study. It was only now that she was relaxed enough to have a bite to eat, even if it was just toast.

Merlin went home shortly thereafter, thanking them for the tea and toast, and wishing them well on their exams.

"Where were you two?" Gwen yawned as she cleared the coffee table of their mugs.

"In the courtyard," Morgana said.

"Smoking?" Gwen asked in annoyance. It was such a terrible habit, she didn't understand how two lovely people could do it.

"No, surprisingly," Morgana said.

Gwen raised a brow suspiciously.

"Just watching the snow," Morgana said, turning towards the window, the snow still falling gently. She hoped Merlin wouldn't catch a cold on his way home.

* * *

They walked slowly, cigarettes in hands. Morgana blew out a puff of smoke and took a drag, savouring it. She'd be quitting before long. She and Merlin made a deal after their latest exam. They'd come back from winter break clean. No more smoking. Ever. Their breath, combined with cold December air made shapes in front of them.

"Are excited to see your mum?" Morgana asked.

They had just finished submitting their final for journalism: a portfolio of all their best articles, edited to perfection.

"Yeah. I just don't want to leave Gaius, you know?" Merlin sighed.

Morgana liked the old man. She went to his shop for another potion for her nightmares, and Gaius told her that he'd lowered the dosage of valerian. She'd been surprised, since her nightmares hadn't bothered her for a month. She didn't dream of anything new or strange. Her dreams consisted of trying to remember her parents, trying to remember if anything seemed amiss before their untimely deaths.

"Why don't you take him with you?" Morgana asked.

"He won't leave the shop," Merlin pointed out.

"How about you spend Christmas with your mum and come back early, spend New Years with Gaius?" she suggested.

"Maybe. I'll figure it out soon enough," Merlin mulled it over.

"Tomorrow's our last day," Morgana breathed, making a face.

"Christmas with the Pendragons," Merlin sniggered.

She covered her face with her gloved hands, "It's a nightmare."

"It sounds like a cheesy holiday film," Merlin laughed.

"Oh, wow. It does. Well fuck," Morgana shook her head, grinning. Her stoic attitude and defence mechanisms seemed to melt away whenever she was with Merlin or Gwen. Damn them both for being so nice.

"Just call me if you need me to rescue you," Merlin offered.

She smiled broadly, "Thank you, kind sir."

"Not a problem, my lady," he smirked.

"You leave Saturday?" Morgana asked, kicking snow lightly with her foot.

"Yep. I'll have to switch trains in Dublin," Merlin took a drag.

"I miss Dublin. My parents and I would always go on weekends, just walking around," she sighed, remembering her short childhood, "I've wanted to go back for so long. Then go to Ashford, see my old house."

"Come with me," Merlin said suddenly.

"What?" she choked on her surprised laughter.

"We'll go to together, then you can go to Ashford, and I'll be on my way to Belfast and Armagh. It'll keep you from the Pendragons for a few days," he said, sorting it out in his head.

She bit her lip, "Let's do it."

* * *

"So you're both leaving?" Gwen asked over a mug of mulled cider. They were at the café where she worked.

Lancelot sat next to her, Merlin and Morgana across from them.

"It's really short notice, I know," Morgana said, buzzing with excitement. She was finally going home.

"It'll be wonderful to go back, I'm sure," Lancelot said. Gwen nodded agreeably.

"Did you buy your ticket?" Gwen asked like the mother hen she was.

"Yeah. I'll go with Merlin til Dublin then we'll part ways," Morgana said, glancing at the Irishman.

Merlin nodded in confirmation of the plans.

"I'll miss you," Gwen frowned, "both of you."

"I'll be back before Christmas," Morgana assured her, "we'll hang out then."

"At Arthur's Christmas party, I'm sure," Gwen rolled her eyes. Morgana nodded, remembering the annual bash Uther throws for her and Arthur's (mostly Arthur's) friends.

Lancelot shook his head at his friend, "Arthur is a perfectly nice person."

"Oh, Lancelot," Morgana reached across the table to pat his shoulder, making Merlin snort.

"Have fun without me, you lot," Merlin picked up his cider.

"Maybe I should just stay in Ireland until the party's over," Morgana said thoughtfully. She really didn't want to spend time with Arthur's friends. Gwen was about to protest, as she didn't want to be surrounded by Arthur's friends without her, but didn't get the chance to.

Arthur made his way over to their table, face stern.

"You're going to Ireland?" he spoke to Morgana, sounding more than a bit miffed.

"Hello to you, too," Gwen muttered.

"Hi, everyone," he said.

They mumbled their greetings.

"Ireland?"

"Yes," Morgana nodded.

"With Merl_in_?" he sounded perplexed.

"I'm right here," Merlin waved his arm in the air.

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur glanced at him.

"You fucking clotpole," Merlin rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Stay out of this," the blond growled.

"You're taking issue with me going with Morgana. What's the problem?" Merlin asked. He really did think he and Arthur were friends, now. Sort of.

"It's a bit sudden, isn't it? This trip?" Arthur asked, suddenly sounding normal.

"Yeah, so?" Morgana asked, glancing at Merlin from her peripheral vision. He shrugged, just as confused as she was.

"Is a happy announcement to follow soon?" Arthur crossed his arms.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Morgana asked, peering at her foster brother.

"Are you two shagging or not?" Arthur finally exploded.

"What?" Merlin spit out his drink, and Morgana looked murderous. Gwen and Lancelot blushed in embarrassment for their friends.

"What on the fucking planet gave you that idea?" Morgana spluttered.

"Are you bloody mental?" Merlin asked seriously.

"Then what is this shit of you two going together?" Arthur hated being out of the loop.

"Merlin's going to Belfast. He has to change trains in Dublin. I decided to go with him and get to Ashford from Dublin. I'm going home, Arthur. Not going with Merlin," Morgana explained monotonously.

"Oh," he said.

"Oh," Morgana said mockingly.

"So, you'll be back in time for Christmas?" he asked.

"Yes. Morgause, too," she smirked at Arthur's annoyed look. Morgana's half-sister wasn't exactly his favourite person.

* * *

"Have a safe trip," Gwen hugged Morgana, then Merlin. Merlin shook Lancelot's hand, then hugged him. Arthur narrowed his eyes at the two men, seemingly glaring.

"Well, see you next term," Merlin said.

"Til next term," Arthur looked down, awkwardly clapping Merlin on the back.

"See you around, dragon," Morgana said, standing next to Merlin, who had escaped Arthur's hold.

"See you, fay," Arthur smiled at her using her old nickname for him. She grinned when he used hers.

The train waited for Morgana and Merlin, and they waved, bidding them farewell, til next time. Uther had a meeting he couldn't miss, and Gaius didn't like goodbyes.

Gwen had promised Merlin she'd go see Gaius as often as she could, since she lived around London with her dad and brother. Heck, she even offered to help the old man at the shop, just so he wouldn't be alone. Merlin couldn't express his appreciation enough, considering the guilt he felt upon leaving him.

* * *

Morgana stared out the window, resting her head against it. Her copy of the first in the _Game of Thrones_ series was nestled in her bookbag, her eyes tired. She was too lazy to take her glasses off and put them in her bag, so the thick black frames remained on her face.

Merlin was listening to his ipod, an old edition. She leaned closer to him, trying to hear. She smiled a bit. Death Cab. She liked it. He had been changing the songs, switching from Of Monsters and Men to Death Cab for Cutie, and back again. He'd been so indecisive that Morgana's smile had turned into a frown and she had prodded him with her book earlier.

He wordlessly took out an earbud and rubbed it on his shirt, handing it to her. She took it, putting it in her ear.

"Have you figured out what you're going to do about your parents?" he asked after a long silence.

"I want their official death report. And all of my dad's old articles," Morgana informed him. No one knew she was still digging around to find out if the death of the Lefays was really an accident. _Not what, but who, _Morgause's words bounced around in her brain.

"Can I help?" Merlin asked, worried for his friend's mental well-being. Once she had her mind set on something, she ran herself ragged.

He'd seen it during finals, and he saw it now. Before exams, she barely ate, and walked around campus with a book in hand, not even looking where she was going. Yet she had taken it upon herself to care for Gwen and to make sure she remained healthy. So _he_ had taken it upon himself to be with her at all times to make sure she didn't run into a wall or trip. He also made her eat something every once in a while in addition to the coffee and tea she requested. Friends had to look after one another, after all.

"_I'm not hungry," she mumbled as she flipped a page in her textbook._

_Merlin glared at her and snatched the book from her hands._

_"Hey!" she shouted. He stood from the couch in Morgana and Gwen's flat._

_"You'll get it when you eat something," he said._

_She crossed her arms across her chest. She wore a baggy shirt and track pants that hung off of her thinning frame. She was starting to scare him and he was concerned for her health._

_"Fine," Morgana said begrudgingly._

_She ate a sandwich and soup that Gwen had left on the stove for her, and that Merlin had heated up. After taking a final bite of the sandwich, she reached across Merlin, snatching the book from his lap._

_"You had no right to take my book," she said._

_"You barely eat anymore," he grumbled._

_"I'm busy studying," she stated the obvious._

_"You're skin and bones, Morgana. I'm worried about you. Gwen's worried about you," Merlin said gently. He and Gwen were worried about her, while Morgana worried about Gwen. It was quite a cycle.  
_

After that incident, Morgana began to eat in Merlin's presence. He learned from Gwen that Morgana rarely ate at dinner when Gwen was at work, so he made it a habit to show up on the nights Gwen worked late. Together they would study and eat. After finals, Morgana seemed to be back to normal and ate like a normal person once more.

Now Merlin was worried her search for the truth about her parents may make her ill again.

"You're already helping. I can't really talk to Arthur or Uther, or even Gwen about this," Morgana shrugged, interrupting Merlin's thoughts.

"Any nightmares?" Merlin asked.

"I'm fine. Stop worrying," she punched him lightly on the arm.

"Whatever you say," he decided to drop it. She was grateful and yawned. She leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder.

When they had become so familiar with each other, she wasn't quite sure. Was an entire term a long enough time to be so at ease with another person? Maybe it was because Merlin had been by her side the past two weeks before and during finals to make sure she ate enough to keep going. Or maybe it was during their study sessions. Or maybe it was from sitting next to each other during class. Or maybe it was watching the first snowfall of the season. Who knew?

She blinked slowly. Merlin's shoulder was extremely bony. She mumbled her thinly veiled insult, and he smirked. An arm wrapped around her shoulder and his chin fell onto the top of her head. It was actually quite comfortable.

Merlin turned the music's volume lower, mumbling.

"Don't fall asleep on me," he sounded tired.

"Too late," she smirked lazily.

"Your neck's gonna hurt like that," he pointed out.

There it was again, his constant concern for other people's well-being. She sat up, nearly hitting him in the jaw with her head. He flinched back, slightly scared. She took out the earbud and handed it to him. He scooted back and she shook her head, resting it against the window. Merlin slid closer towards her feet brushed against his knees. Bony. Did the man ever eat? He'd been on her case, making her eat regular meals, but he looked as though he didn't eat, though she knew otherwise. He could eat more than her and Arthur combined. He sensed her discomfort and made a pillow out of his scarf, placing it between her and his knees. She smiled up at him. He was so damn nice and attentive.

She looked up at the ceiling, waiting. In a few short hours, she'd be home. Her true home.

"Tell me about Armagh, Merlin," Morgana requested, voice soft.

She felt him take a deep breath.

"Not much to tell. Just a three-room small flat with my mum; I never met my dad. My best friend and neighbour, Will, and I got into a lot of trouble as kids," he started.

Morgana smiled at the image of a small, pint-sized Merlin running around, wreaking havoc.

"I got into _a lot_ of trouble, actually," he blinked at the memory of every time he would be scolded.

"I bet you were let off easy," she said.

"Why?" he fought a grin.

"You don't seem like the kind of person that's easy to stay angry at for long," she shrugged.

"I was a terribly hyper and strange child, Morgana. My mum could stay angry at me for as long as she wanted," he snorted.

"Aw, but you must've been so cute as a kid," she said teasingly.

"The teachers never stayed mad for very long," he agreed reluctantly.

"I knew it. Probably charmed the socks of them," she reached over to pat him on the head, and he scowled at her.

"Don't patronise me," he grumbled.

"I'm not," she took her hand back.

"I did get suspended a few times," he grinned suddenly, "setting the chemistry lab on fire."

Morgana laughed, a true, loud and honest laugh.

"I just imagined you with Einstein's hair and burnt clothes," she looked at him mirthfully.

He leaned his head back, resting it on the seat, no longer on the top of her head.

"Pretty accurate, actually."

"What about your girlfriend?" Morgana asked, curious, "you don't have to talk about her if you don't want to," she said quickly.

"Her name's Freya. She's…she was amazing. She was so incredibly nice and loving," he sighed, closing his eyes.

Morgana sat up, looking at him.

"What happened?"

"We grew apart. It happens to everyone, eventually. She decided to stay, and I wanted to leave. We still talk once in a while."

"Really?" she asked.

"No one can just get over her. It's like she's got this energy that draws everyone towards her, reeling them in, and she just lets them all go. When she smiles and laughs, it's like everything's right. She didn't want anyone, no one interested her. Except me. She chose me," he sighed, nearly scoffing at his own luck.

"And then, after a few years, we realised we weren't the same kids we once were. We hated the music the other liked. Hated each other's career plans. I think we just got sick of each other. Who marries the girlfriend they had since the age of thirteen, anyway?" Merlin opened his eyes, a bit lost with where he was going with his tale of woe.

"You still love her?" Morgana asked, brow furrowing.

Merlin's eyes met hers, "I love what we had. I love her as a person, and as a friend. I feel like my entire childhood I put her on a pedestal to compare everyone to her, effectively ruining any future relationship I could've had. I did love her, a lot. Still do. But not as a romantic partner. Not anymore."

Morgana nodded in understanding. She didn't expect Merlin to open up the way he did, but she was glad he trusted her. Freya had something good and she just let him go. Idiot.

"So, Morgana, what about you? Any boyfriends? Or girlfriends?" Merlin asked, not wanting to seem close-minded.

"No boyfriends, not ones who were interested in me for my personality, anyway," she frowned a bit.

"Those shitheads?" Merlin asked. He still didn't know what they had done to Morgana; she wouldn't say, and he wouldn't push her.

"Yeah," she ran a hand through long hair, "I sort of had a girlfriend."

"Really?" Merlin's eyes widened, and he looked interested. He wanted to ask if it was Gwen, but Gwen liked Lancelot and didn't seem to be gay or bi.

"Yeah," she laughed, "wow we were such idiots."

"What happened?"

"She was my only friend in secondary school. She wasn't so much a girlfriend as we were best friends who kissed a bit. She lives in Paris now," Morgana said.

"Oh," Merlin said.

"She's beautiful, though. You should meet her," Morgana said.

"Are you offering to set me up?" Merlin asked cheekily.

Morgana snorted, "I said you should meet her, not that you'd like her. Nimueh is a bit difficult to love."

"Nice name," Merlin said thoughtfully, "why do you think I won't like her?"

"She's a bit…severe," she said before shaking her head. She was a bit severe, too, yet Merlin was perfectly sweet to her. She wrinkled her nose, "She's stubborn and will do what she wants when she wants. She doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. We're so alike," she laughed.

"You do give a shit, though," Merlin said.

"I do not!" Morgana argued.

"You give plenty of shits. You care about Gwen," Merlin said thoughtfully.

Morgana nodded slightly, "Fine, one person."

"As much as you complain about them, you give a shit about Arthur and Uther," Merlin pointed out, earning a nod.

"You forgot someone," she said with a grin.

"Oh, yeah? Who?"

"You, you arsehat," she snorted.

"See, with you calling me names, I'm not sure you care very much," he scowled.

"It's a term of endearment," she said solemnly, "surely you'd understand those. You have enough for Arthur."

"Those aren't terms of endearment! They're insults," Merlin spluttered.

Morgana raised a brow, "Really? You two seem to be getting on quite well."

"Shut up," Merlin's cheeks coloured, remembering how embarrassed they had been at Arthur's blunder earlier just that week. Breakfast. He shook his head.

"Sorry, sorry," she chuckled.

"You never did say why you won't set me up," Merlin said finally once Morgana had caught her breath.

She smirked, "Find yourself your own girlfriend. Plus, I'm pretty sure she has a girlfriend, a real one, now."

Merlin rolled his eyes, nudging his knee against her leg. She pushed back. Morgana yawned and crossed her arms across her chest. Though the train was heated, she couldn't help but feel a bit cold.

"What time's your connecting train?" she asked sleepily.

"In the morning," he sighed, running a hand over his face.

"You're just going to wait in the train station?" she frowned at him.

"Yeah," he said.

"No. You're coming with me," she said with finality.

"What?" he snorted. He should've been used to her bossing him around, but he was always surprised by her.

"There are no buses to Ashford this late, so I got a room at a hotel near the station," she explained, "we'll just ask for another bed."

"I can't impose," Merlin shook his head.

"You're not imposing. It'd be too late to do anything in the city, anyway. May as well sleep," she suggested.

"Then I'm paying my share," Merlin said with tentative agreement.

"I already paid," she shared.

"Then I'll pay you the difference," Merlin grumbled. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine. Just stop being so disagreeable," Morgana kicked him gently.

"_I'm_ disagreeable?" he snarled.

"We're both disagreeable. There," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm fucking lovely, thank you very much," he said, making Morgana laugh.

"A right doll," she said between giggles.

"Damn right," Merlin said.

The topic was settled, once and for all. They'd spend the night in Dublin before heading out in different directions in the morning.

* * *

**This was a bit longer, so hopefully the wait was worth it. Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Please review.**


	8. Maybe Later

**Thank you all so much for favoriting/following and reviewing! I hope the swearing isn't too excessive, and the rating may go up in later chapters if no one would be opposed to it.**

* * *

**VIII  
**

The rest of the train ride was spent in near silence, with smatterings of short-lived conversations. Merlin had leaned his head back against the seat, eyes closed. Morgana was curled up next to him, having changed her position from next to the window to resting on Merlin's shoulder. His chin grazed the top of her head and his steady breathing was calming. Her fists were curled onto his chest, grasping his jumper.

An announcement was made over the intercom, and Merlin opened his eyes. He nudged Morgana gently, trying to wake her.

"Five more minutes, Gwen," she mumbled tiredly.

Merlin snorted.

"We're almost there," he said, poking her shoulder.

She lifted her head from his shoulder, her hair a mess and glasses askew. She looked at him as if he were the devil for waking her, and scooted to her little corner next to the window from earlier. Merlin fought the urge to sigh. She always went back to a little corner, closing herself away from the world.

Merlin stood and reached for their duffel bags. He set them on the seat and took his dark blue coat from the coat hook and shrugged it on. Morgana watched while sweeping her hair into a bun. She stood, stretching, and pulled on her own coat, a deep red colour with a hood lined with fake fur.

She tied a black scarf around her neck and pulled on her beret. Merlin pulled warm gloves on and Morgana took out her gloves from her coat pocket. She sat back down and slid on her lace-up combat boots quickly before standing again. She reached for her bag, but Merlin snatched it, carrying it with his own.

He opened the door of the train compartment, waiting for Morgana to take her purse and exit.

"Such a gentleman," she teased.

"Don't you fucking forget it," he mumbled, earning a smirk.

She shook her head and walked into the narrow aisleway to reach the exit doors of the train. Merlin followed behind her, and they queued up, waiting behind other passengers waiting to exit.

Morgana's phone chimed and she dug it out of her bag. She read it, scowled, tapped out a message, and shoved it back into her bag.

"Who was it?" Merlin asked.

"Arthur," she made a face, the '_it's Arthur and he's an idiot but he's not _so_ bad but he's really annoying_' face.

"Asked if you got here safely?" Merlin guessed.

She nodded and smirked, "He doesn't know you're staying with me."

"Why would he? We just decided a couple of hours ago. If you don't want me to impose," Merlin said obliviously. For someone so witty, he could be so damn slow at times.

"You're not imposing, you dumbarse," she shook her head, "I was just thinking how red his face would get if he knew we were sharing a room."

"We're sharing a room, not a bed," Merlin said dumbly, innocently. Sweet, (seemingly) innocent Merlin.

"You are so thick," Morgana rolled her eyes. Arthur would blow the entire situation out of proportion and embarrass them all because that's how his strange little brain worked.

Merlin stared at her in confusion and she had the urge to smack him. Or kiss him. (Wait, no she most certainly did _not_ want to snog Merlin senseless). Guh. He was such an infuriating bastard sometimes, so sweet and kind and funny, but he was so incredibly daft. Now she had to share a room with him, and she had brought it upon herself.

"He already thinks we're fucking," Morgana said in a low voice. They had already yelled at Arthur, and he'd back off of the accusations, except now they were going to share a room and he'd find out and tell Uther.

"That's because he's stupid," Merlin said, "he apparently thinks men and women can't just be friends."

"But," Morgana started, stopping short when Merlin shot her a glare, a glare usually reserved for Arthur.

"Stop, Morgana, you're so damn paranoid," Merlin shook his head, slightly amused, slightly terrified.

"Sorry," Morgana said, "you're right. I just hope he doesn't kill you in your sleep for shacking up with his foster sister."

Merlin's blue eyes widened into large orbs and his face paled, "But he doesn't know. It's just for a night. Room, not bed," he mumbled.

"Not yet, anyway. One day, we'll let something slip, even though everything is purely platonic, and he'll interpret it wrong because he's an idiot, and we'll all be at your funeral," she said in a half-teasing tone.

"Shut up," the colour returned to Merlin's face, though his eyes were still worried.

"It is so fun messing with you," she grinned.

"Fuck you," he grumbled in a low voice.

"Maybe later," she quipped quickly, taking pleasure in his shell-shocked look.

"Your lovely little comments are why Arthur has the wrong idea," Merlin spluttered, cheeks flushing and eyes flashing with something she'd never seen in him before. Was it truly anger?

"Relax, Merlin," she patted his back sympathetically, and he tensed.

"Please don't touch me," he shrugged out of her touch and looked straight ahead at the queue. Even in anger, he used the word 'please'. Morgana felt like hitting him on the head with her purse.

The train lurched to a stop and the people in the queue lurched forward, Morgana and Merlin as well. Morgana tried to stop herself from stumbling, to no avail, until Merlin caught her around her waist and steadied her.

"Don't touch me," she echoed his words, immediately regretting it when his eyes drooped and his hand left her side. He picked up their bags and shuffled along at the slow pace so they left.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "you're just so… infuriating sometimes."

"I warned you about that," she tried sound like she was already over it. It was okay. They were both being assholes. Perhaps it was post-exam exhaustion or the train ride or the thought of being in such close quarters or maybe (sexual?) frustration.

"I really am sorry, Morgana," Merlin said as he stepped off of the train.

He offered his gloved hand and Morgana took it, stepping off of the train gracefully.

She nodded and walked towards the stairs leading away from the platform and into the train station. Merlin trailed behind her, feeling like the douchiest man on the planet.

They left the train station, and Merlin looked around in wonder. He had been here only once before, on a school trip. He and Will had gotten away from the group and roamed around aimlessly before catching up with the class. Freya had scolded them, hiding a smile; the teachers actually did scold them, giving the boys detention and called Hunith and Will's parents. He'd been grounded for a month.

Morgana watched him watch the city, smile playing on her lips. He looked like a kid going into a big city for the first time. She was almost home, and Merlin was with her. She wanted to forget their argument. Stupid Arthur, and her stupid mouth. It was exasperating.

"It's great, isn't it?" Morgana asked.

Merlin nodded. The snow covered streets, the immense buildings, the cars whizzing past. It was like London, in a way, but _better_. He felt more at home here than he ever did in London. Maybe it was because his Ireland and this Ireland, (Morgana's Ireland, he'd started to refer to it in his head) were once united before being wrenched apart. He turned to Morgana, who looked away from him.

"Let's get us a taxi," she said and threw her arm in the air.

Moments later a car stopped in front of them. She gave the name of the hotel and the cabbie nodded, whisking them away. After five, maybe ten minutes, they exited the cab, each holding their own luggage, upon Morgana's insistence that she could damn well carry her own belongings.

Merlin looked at it. No, he ogled at it. It was grand, with white marble and columns, intricate carvings, and a doorman standing at the front. Morgana walked up the stairs to the door as if she owned the place, and Merlin wouldn't have been surprised if she did.

"Merlin," she turned around.

He looked at her and hurried behind her. The doorman held the door open and let them in.

Even the inside was plush, with a chandelier, lush red seats, marble statues, and beautiful wood tables and furniture. Morgana walked up to the receptionist's desk.

"Lefay," Morgana said quickly.

"Ah, here you are, Miss Lefay," the old man said, handing her a key.

"I require another bed," Morgana said, sounding a bit like Arthur, "for my guest."

"You did not mention your need of an extra bed," the old man said, "and your reservation was last-minute."

"I require another bed. Your fine establishment has been good to my family, which is why I decided to stay here. If you'd prefer, I can find different accommodations," Morgana said coolly, holding the key for the old man to take back.

"I'm sure you and your guest will find the room to your likings. It's very spacious," he said, looking at Merlin with a tense smile.

"I should hope so," Morgana said.

"I'll send up a roll-away bed in just a moment," the old man agreed.

Morgana glanced at Merlin, raising a brow, as if asking if he was okay with a roll-away. He nodded and Morgana turned back to the receptionist.

"Thank you, sir," Morgana said, bags still in hand.

"Shall I call the bellhop?" he asked.

"I think we can manage."

With that Morgana dragged Merlin along, bypassing the spiral staircase with red carpeting in favour of the black iron elevator.

They finally reached Morgana's (their) room and Merlin gaped as he did downstairs. A large king sized bed sat in the middle of the room, with a dresser on one side and a bedside table on the other. A wardrobe sat on the other end, next to it a couch, and a chandelier hung from the ceiling.

"Wow," he breathed. Morgana smiled and put her bags down on a chair that surrounded a little glass coffee table. She unbuttoned her coat and shed her scarf, gloves, and hat. She opened the wardrobe and put her coat and accessories inside.

"I know. I used to love it here," she said casually, sitting on the bed. It was her parents' room of choice when she was young, when they went to the city.

Merlin nodded, not needing to ask any questions. He set his own bag down on a chair and sat down on the small couch. A thought came to him.

"I could just sleep on the couch," he said suddenly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Morgana said, "you're too tall."

Merlin wrinkled his nose. She had him there.

"Besides the bed is big enough for the both of us," she blurted out before her brain could catch up with her mouth. Merlin's eyes widened comically and she bit her lip.

"Kidding. They'll bring in a bed. Calm down," Morgana's smile was more a grimace.

"And here I thought it was later," Merlin said jokingly, referring to her 'maybe later' comment.

Morgana scowled, cheeks turning rosy. She felt like kicking herself.

"Ass," she insulted.

"So you've noticed?" Merlin smirked, took his gloves off and unbuttoned his coat, letting it fall on the couch.

"Oh yeah," Morgana nodded, matching his smirk, "since day one."

She sounded sarcastic, but it wasn't a lie. She still thought he was hiding a marvelous bum behind those baggy jeans. Not that she'd ever see, of course.

"We okay?" Merlin asked, suddenly serious. He had tried joking with her to show that he was over being upset at her teasing. Now they were teasing each other. That's what friends did, right? He and Will always joked around, so this was no different, right? He could never tease Freya like that when they were friends since he'd always been in love with them, even as kids, and he didn't want to offend her delicate sensibilities, so joking with Morgana was a good thing. It meant he _wasn_'_t_ falling for her.

"Of course," Morgana nodded, swinging her legs back and forth.

A knock on the door signaled the arrival of a bellhop and Merlin's bed. The young man left and Merlin unfolded the bed, sitting on it. Morgana entered the en suite bathroom and changed into flannel pajama bottoms and a large shirt. She was tired and would take a shower in the morning.

"Your turn," she said, crawling onto the large bed.

"Thanks," Merlin said. He marveled at the sheer immensity of the tub, and decided to hell with it, he was going to take a bath.

* * *

Gwen gave her suitcase a once over, pleased. She had packed everything on her list, and everything was ready. She slid under the covers of her bed, feeling alone without Morgana.

The two young women had bonded surprisingly fast and had become the best of friends. They could talk to each other about practically everything and had a bit in common, what with Gwen's mother dying when she was young and Morgana losing both of her parents.

Now that she thought about it, she had lost her mum, Morgana both her parents, Merlin his dad, Lancelot his dad, and Arthur his mother. Merlin and Lancelot were both so gentle and kind, and it was clear that they'd been raised by mothers. Arthur was colder, a bit more cocky, as was Morgana. Then again, they had spent their childhood and adolescence in the care of Prime Minister Pendragon, so the coldness was to be expected.

She sighed sadly, wondering if that was what had brought them together: their broken, fractured, and frankly, fairly lonely childhoods.

Gwen decided to get some sleep before she had to meet Lancelot for breakfast in the morning before he would drop her off at her house.

She found it difficult to sleep without Morgana's steady breathing or her belongings strewn about or the soft music playing on the ipod dock. She sincerely hoped Morgana would be back soon, even if they weren't going to share a room during their school holiday.

* * *

Morgana frowned, looking at the ceiling in the dark. What the hell was taking Merlin so long? Just as she was going to slip out from under the covers, the bathroom door opened ever so slightly.

"Morgana?" he whispered, thinking she was asleep.

She didn't reply and shut her eyes. She heard him pad into the room, his feet barely audible due to the soft carpet. A dim lamp was the sole source of light in the room at the moment, but it was enough. She opened one eye to find him standing in a towel. It was wrapped around his hips, his bones protruding slightly. His back was lightly feathered with dark hair, as were his arms.

Morgana opened her other eye, unable to look away. He turned around, holding a shirt. His chest was pale, covered with black hair. He always seemed so scrawny, but he wasn't. Beneath baggy clothes hid a toned and muscled body. Morgana briefly wondered if Arthur was aware of Merlin's physique, seeing as how they were roommates. She shook her head and closed her eyes, waiting for him to get dressed. If it were any other man, she would've looked and either laughed or been impressed. But this was _Merlin_, so she decided to be respectful.

She finally opened her eyes a minute later to see him curled up on the cot, looking uncomfortable. She frowned. It probably wasn't very soft.

"Merlin," she whispered, afraid he'd realise she had seen him in a state of undress.

"Yeah?" came his gruff voice, thick with sleep.

"You don't seem very comfortable," she murmured.

He turned on his side, facing her.

"Better than the ground," he said monotonously.

Morgana felt like screaming.

"You've slept on the ground?" she asked.

"When my mum and I used to live in a one room flat, yeah. I was four," he offered, not sounding angry or bitter or sad. Numb, he just sounded numb.

He didn't know why Morgana seemed so surprised. He then remembered that despite her harsh demeanor, she was still essentially a Lady, being from a wealthy family and pedigree, having grown up with everything she could ever want. Hell, the hotel in and of itself was proof of that.

"Merlin, stay with me," Morgana whispered. It wasn't a question or a command, just a statement.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"This bed is huge," she said, biting her lip, "and you're not comfortable."

"I'm fine. Go to sleep," Merlin said with finality in his tone of voice.

Morgana sighed, "Fine. Night."

"Night, Morgana," Merlin said quietly.

It wasn't fair and she knew it. Merlin was stuck on a roll-away bed and she had a plush bed, that could fit them both while allowing plenty of space, all to herself. He'd slept on floors. She'd slept in manors on four-poster beds with silk sheets. Merlin was kind and righteous and just so Merlin, and she was callous and cold and it wasn't fair. It just wasn't _fair_. She had learned long ago that the world wasn't fair, and her heart grew colder as she grew older. People like Merlin (and Gwen) were so damn amazing and didn't expect anything in return. It wasn't fair.

She sighed and closed her eyes, curling under the blanket. All she could think of was that Merlin's blanket was thin and that it was cold as the radiator in the room seemed to be out of order.

"Fuck it, Merlin," she groaned after a few minutes. She could see the outline of his form shaking slightly. Whether he shook from the cold air or annoyance, she wasn't quite sure.

"Morgana, just drop it," he growled under his breath.

"We're friends, right?" she asked, sitting up in that massive bed.

"Yeah. And?" he rolled his eyes.

"Friends don't let friends freeze and sleep uncomfortably," she said.

"Just let me be. I'm not a charity case," he said tiredly. He didn't want to argue, he just wanted to sleep, and why on earth were the radiators in this sodding hotel not on?

"I never said you are. I was trying to be nice," Morgana's eyes narrowed and her lips quirked into a frown, "Sorry."

Merlin sat up and saw her face contorted into the face she tended to make when she didn't want to cry. Damn her and her stupid, pretty face. He slipped off of his narrow cot and slid onto the bed, about three feet away from Morgana. She smiled triumphantly.

"Good night," she sighed in relief and closed her eyes.

"Night," he said, immediately feeling more comfortable and a great deal warmer.

* * *

She hadn't taken her medicine, yet she had no nightmares or dreams. That was an interesting development. She remembered how as a girl she used to cry herself to sleep some nights out of loneliness and sadness. It was a habit that had followed her into adulthood, but it'd tapered off.

She had awoken before Merlin and was startled to find their bodies intertwined. Her head rested against his chest, his arm around her waist, hand ever so slightly reaching for her hip. His eyes were closed and his mouth was partially open, pink and pouty. Morgana wondered what would happen if…no, this was Merlin she was thinking about. Just platonic old Merlin. She slid from his hold and he mumbled incoherently. She brushed his hair off of his face and slipped off of the bed. Morgana gathered her clothes and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Fifteen minutes later, wrapped in a towel, she remembered she forgot her hairbrush. She opened the door and poked her head out. Merlin was awake, too, slipping off his pajama bottoms. Her eyes widened as his hands reached to take of his pants, too. She retreated back into the bathroom, carefully closing the door. Her cheeks were tinged pink from the heat of the shower and the sight of Merlin's naked back. What the hell had she gotten herself into? Merlin was a friend. She shouldn't be giving herself opportunities to see him practically naked.

She got dressed quickly (tight black jeans, a purple jumper and rainbow socks) and tied a towel around her hair. She opened the door once more to find Merlin fully clothed and repacking his bag. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Ready to go?" she asked in greeting.

"My train leaves in an hour and a half," Merlin checked his ticket and then his watch.

Morgana nodded and wrinkled her nose.

"So," he trailed off, "sleep well?"

"Incredibly so," she said, "I'm sorry if I, erm, latched myself to you."

His cheeks went pink, " 'S' alright. Didn't really notice."

That was the end of that discussion.

"So, want to get a bite to eat?" she asked.

He nodded, and they set out to the hotel's restaurant for breakfast. Morgana had yet to inform Merlin that she would be staying another night so she could wander around Dublin at a reasonable hour, before heading home to Ashford. She bit the inside of her cheek. Perhaps it'd be better for her to stay in Dublin longer after doing what she needed to do in Ashford. Yes, that'd be more reasonable.

* * *

Elyan hugged her, taking in his sister's appearance. Gwen was still the same old Gwen, and he was relieved. He glared at the man who accompanied Gwen, and at first thought it was that Merlin bloke she wouldn't shut up about. Nope, it was Lancelot. He was holding Gwen's bags, and smiling at the family reunion. Elyan didn't like him one bit.

* * *

After breakfast, Merlin and Morgana reached the train station once more. Merlin held his bag in hand while Morgana had only her purse. She'd return to the hotel for her things and head for the coach depot. She didn't want to drag her suitcase with her.

"So, this is it," Merlin said, smiling softly. He was going home.

"Yeah," Morgana sounded distant.

Could she ask him to stay with her? Would that be completely weird? To request that from a friend?

"I'll see you in the New Year," Merlin said, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

This was all so bloody awkward.

"See you," Morgana said quietly.

They stood there, looking at their feet and avoiding the other's gaze. Fuck it, Morgana decided. She wrapped her arms around Merlin in a hug, startling him.

His arms stayed by his side in shock for a few moments before he finally wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back gently.

"Come back soon, yeah?" she mumbled.

"You won't even notice I'm gone," he tried to grin.

It was hard to let go, when she fit so well in his arms and her hair smelled so nice and dear heavens she was hugging him. She had wanted to hug him. She made the first move. He felt a bit delirious, like he was dreaming and this wasn't really Morgana, but a figment of his imagination.

For all the walls she had built, she was still a good person who cared about her friends. Yes, Merlin, that was exactly what one should take away when Morgana hugs him. It should be noted that the only friend she hugged recently was Gwen, and that was as a farewell. She used to hug Arthur all the time when they were kids, mostly to annoy him. She hadn't hugged him since they were thirteen.

This was a farewell, too, like the hug she and Gwen shared. But this was different, because she didn't want to let go. Not when his arms were wrapped around her and he wasn't bumbling, rambling away to distance himself, when his stubble scratched her cheek and she liked the feeling, and when he smelled like fresh soap and cigarettes.

"No smoking, remember?" she said, pulling away a bit.

"I know. We had a deal," Merlin nodded.

She hugged him again as his train pulled into the station, the intercom announcing the arrival of the train from Dublin to Belfast.

"Bye," he said, letting go of her.

"Bye," she gave a little wave.

He turned to walk away, taking his bag.

"Merlin!" Morgana called, resisting the urge to hug him once more.

"Yeah?" he stopped and turned around.

"Keep in touch," she said solemnly.

His face split into a wide grin, "Of course."

She watched as he left, and she would be alone once more. Only a month. Only a month. She'd find the truth about her parents then go back to London, back to where her life was. Just a month longer.

Morgana was about to turn to head out of the station when she saw Merlin stop walking, turn around and smile a bit. She stared at him, waiting. What was he doing? He looked like he was about to say something, do something, then he waved. She waved back.

They must have looked like idiots in the middle of that crowded train station, just dumbly waving at each other. They weren't even waving; their hands were raised, still as statues in a greeting or a farewell. The intercom announced that the train was preparing to leave the platform and Merlin's smile disappeared. He gave her one last glance before turning around.

Morgana wanted to run but her feet were glued in their spot. She bit her lip and watched him disappear into the crowd. She rubbed her eyes as tears pricked them. An eyelash must have fallen in, yes, that's it, and the irritation of one eye somehow spread to the other. Because why else would she be tearing up? Merlin wasn't her suitor who was going off to war or something. He was merely her friend who was going home. Damned eyelash.

Once she could no longer see him, she turned around, her feet finally free to walk out of the station. As she reached the entrance she turned around one last time. Her eyes searched the travelers for him. He wasn't there. She rubbed her eyes again. Stupid eyelash.

* * *

**Thank you all so much for supporting this story, long chapters and all. I know it seems a bit slow, but the plot and Morgana's dreams will pick up soon, I promise. Please review, I really appreciate thoughts, ideas, and constructive criticism.  
**


	9. Home

**Thank you all so, so much for the reviews on the last chapter, and thank you for sticking with this story. Everything starts to pick up here, so enjoy!  
**

* * *

**IX**

Morgana had taken the coach to Ashford's coach station, and then a taxi to her childhood home. Her purse hung over one arm while her suitcase was set on the ground. She faced the Lefay (Dulac, really, it was her mother's home) manor. She briefly wondered why Morgause and her father never wanted the home, and attributed it to their constant travels. That wasn't important, anyway.

Lefay Manor was large, but not imposing. The estate Uther lived in before he became Prime Minister was imposing. This was more...homey. It was made of brownstone with large windows and a blue door, her mother's favourite colour. There was a half circle window above the door, and vines of flowers covered the front. In front of the house were a black gate and fence, blocking the entry. It looked to be well taken care of, the same as always, though she hadn't been there in almost nine years.

She curled a hand around the rails of the gate, tears pricking her eye. It was that stupid eyelash again, she was sure. She licked her lips, trying to find her voice.

"Hello?" she called, "anyone there?"

The blue door opened and a pleasantly plump woman with graying hair stepped out, peering at Morgana curiously.

"Mrs Gibbons," Morgana recognised her immediately.

The woman's hands flew to her mouth in surprise, and she scurried over to the gate.

"Oh, Morgana, child, we thought we'd never see you again!" she said, unlocking the gate.

"Hello, Mrs Gibbons," Morgana greeted the old housekeeper. She was happy to know the woman was still employed.

"Hello, Lady Morgana," Mrs Gibbons, greeted tearfully. She had always called Morgana 'the Lady Morgana' as a child, much to her parents' amusement. Mrs Gibbons had said that such an aristocratic looking little girl was not merely a 'Miss' but a 'Lady'.

"Please, don't call me that," Morgana laughed through the tears now streaming down her cheeks.

Mrs Gibbons enveloped her into a hug and Morgana relaxed in her motherly hold. She was now taller than Mrs Gibbons, and buried her head in the crook of the older woman's neck.

They parted, and Mrs Gibbons took Morgana's luggage in one hand, and Morgana's arm in the other.

"It's been too long," Mrs Gibbons said as they walked in.

"I know, I know," Morgana looked morose.

She looked around the foyer. Same high ceilings, same chandelier, same double spiral staircase with navy blue carpets, same entry way into the living room, and the dining room off to the side.

"Welcome home, Lady Morgana," Mrs Gibbons said, leaving Morgana to look around her childhood home.

Was she _really_ home? She spent the best years of her life here, yes, but she hadn't been back in nine years. She was used to Arthur's constant stupidity, Uther's indifference sprinkled with rare moments of genuine kindness, Gwen's motherly ways and Merlin's constant companionship. So was this home, or was London home? She felt more confused than she had been earlier. She had hated living with the Pendragons. Life at university made that more bearable, more than bearable, actually.

Not a day went by when she didn't see Gwen or unexpectedly run into Merlin. She wrinkled her nose, wondering why he looked at her with so much concern. She was fine, completely fine.

* * *

"Mum!" Merlin hugged Hunith tightly. She looked smaller than she'd been only a few months ago. He immediately expressed his concern.

"I'm fine, dear. Just working a few more shifts," she smiled at her grown-up little boy.

"Mum, you need to take care of yourself better," he frowned. Hunith was a nurse and took care of everyone but herself, so Merlin took care of her. Except now he lived all the way in London and while they spoke often, he couldn't always be there to make her dinner and make sure she ate or got enough sleep or didn't run herself ragged.

"I'm fine, Merlin. Let's get you home," Hunith wrapped an arm around her son.

Their home was in a row of flats. They lived on the third floor, in a three-room (two bedrooms, one living room) place. It was a bit small, but it was home. Merlin smiled instantly upon walking inside. It was the same, not that he'd expected it to be any different. He immediately barreled into his bedroom, taking in the blue walls and dark green bed spread and posters on the walls and his old collection of toys in the corner.

"Welcome home, Merlin," Hunith pecked him on the forehead, and Merlin smiled.

Hunith left him to his own devices, telling him they'd have a late lunch/early dinner in a few minutes. He nodded, still smiling. Once she was out of sight, his smile faltered. He was with his mum. He should be happy, so why did he feel as if he were merely a visitor in his childhood home? Something was missing, something wasn't quite right. He shook off the strange feeling of loneliness that crept up on him and feigned a grin.

* * *

Morgana sat on her bed, in her old room. The walls were a light blue, the bed covered in light purple sheets. A large dollhouse sat in the corner, untouched for years. She had shed her coat, hat, gloves, and boots last night. She wore loose-fitting jeans and a gray turtleneck. The clothing she wore yesterday when she saw Merlin off at the train station were in the wash. She frowned. It felt like she hadn't seen him in ages, but it'd barely been a day. Surely she was going mad.

The night before, she had wandered into her parents' old room. Everything remained untouched, as if waiting for their owners to return. She opened a drawer to find some of her mother's jewelery and letters. Letters from Morgause, letters from her father, letters from...Uther Pendragon?

She took the one from Uther and stared at it. She couldn't read it, no. She shoved it in her pocket to peruse later and kept looking. Not many of her father's belongings were there, so she had ventured to his office down the hall. All four walls were covered in bookshelves. She smiled, remembering how he used to let her sit at his desk and listen to her talk about her day. She ran her fingers over the old volumes and sighed. She'd have to search the room later. She was tired and went to sleep.

Now she sat on her bed, the letter from Uther sitting at the bottom of her purse. She _didn't want to know_. She had barely slept, dreams plagued by visions of her parents' funeral, Morgause's ominous and vague words, and a man being consumed in flames. She was so confused.

She took out her mobile from her pocket, staring at it. No missed calls. Of course, why would anyone call? Gwen had sent her a message, letting her know their flat was empty and that she was at home and she was eagerly awaiting Morgana's return. That was it. Good old Gwen.

Morgana sighed and glanced about the room. The wardrobe was empty, her entire collection of clothing having been transported to the Pendragon residence upon her parents' deaths. The dresser and vanity sat untouched, but it appeared to have been dusted off fairly recently. A kettle of tea and a tray of breakfast sat on top of a table towards the centre of the room, mostly untouched. She couldn't quite stomach anything, now. She had woken up and called the local police station first thing and scheduled an appointment to speak with the chief of police. She had wanted to go yesterday as soon as she had arrived, but then remembered that it was Sunday.

There was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" Morgana said.

Mrs Gibbons opened the door, gazing at the once-little girl sadly.

"You don't seem too happy to be here, you barely had any tea," she said.

Morgana snorted. Leave it to Gibbons to associate unhappiness with not finishing a cup of tea. She had been shown around the grounds yesterday, and everything was the same, not that she expected anything different. Some of the old groundskeepers were still there, and she greeted them with vague recollection. How odd she must look to them now. She used to be a little girl with dark curls and trusting eyes and fancy dresses. Now she was a woman with a nose ring and dark clothes and a permanent scowl.

"I'm fine, Mrs Gibbons," Morgana said shortly, offering a tense smile.

"You may look like your mother, but you've got your father's heart," Gibbons smiled sadly.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Your father, rest his soul, used to pretend he was just fine when he wasn't, too. You're your father's daughter," Mrs Gibbons said quietly.

Morgana's heart swelled. She loved both her parents, really, but she had always been closer to her father. He would play with her and let her run around like a crazy person and got her a pony when she asked and took her out of dance lessons to teach her how to fence. After a moment of silence, Gibbons bristled.

"Well, there's a car waiting if you still want to go to the police station," she informed her.

"I do," Morgana stood, smoothing out invisible wrinkles from her clothes. She took her phone, coat, and purse, and ran out the door and down the stairs. She used to love sliding down the stairs as a kid.

* * *

She sifted through the paperwork, surprised at how easily the chief of police had handed over her parents' files. She figured being a Lefay had something to do with it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and the accident was labeled as just that: an accident. She cringed at the pictures of the crime scene, the totaled and burning car, later nothing but scraps of burnt metal. It was as if it was incinerated to hide something. But what? What was hidden?

"Is that all?" she asked the chief.

" 'Fraid so, Miss Lefay," he said, black hair peppered with gray.

"Are you sure? Nothing out of the ordinary? Nothing my parents may have said or done?" she bit her lip.

The man's brown eyes went cold for a moment, "I shouldn't tell you this, but..."

"Go on," Morgana pressed.

He sighed, "You're aware of the nature of your father's journalism, correct?"

Morgana nodded.

"He had found some information on certain politicians and businessmen that would have changed all of the UK," he said.

"But we're in Ireland," Morgana frowned.

"Which is why no one noticed his snooping for so long," the man sighed again.

"What are you saying?" Morgana asked.

"Someone with a lot of power wanted your father gone. I said it nine years ago, and I'll say it again: Your mother was just collateral damage. Of course, everyone was all too eager to write their deaths of as an accident since there was no evidence. I'm sorry."

Morgana was numb. Someone wanted her father dead. Who? Who could've done such a thing? There was no evidence to suggest that her parents were murdered, but something in her heart told her it rang true.

"Thank you for your time," Morgana stood on shaky legs.

The chief smiled sadly and escorted Morgana out of the precinct. She wiped her face once outside, trying to pull herself together. She rummaged through her purse for her mobile and instead pulled out the letter. She looked around and opened it, face paling and eyes widening.

_My dearest Vivienne, _it began. The more she read, the more she felt like vomiting. No, no, no. This had to be a mistake. What the fuck was this, some kind of sick joke?

She reached for her mobile and dialed an all too familiar number.

* * *

After having a lunch with Hunith, Will called Merlin and told him to meet him at a cafe. Merlin had called Will the night before and told him he was back for the winter holidays. They had drinks at the pub before calling it a night, and Merlin fell asleep in his old bed for the first time in months.

Merlin saw his old friend and Freya, the girl who he'd loved so much, waiting for him. Inside they laughed and joked and talked and caught up while having tea.

It was as if he had never left, but something was nagging at him. Will left them to go to the loo, and Freya smiled.

"I'm so glad you're back," she batted her large hazel eyes.

"Yeah, me too," Merlin tried to smile.

"I know we didn't finish things on good terms, but I'm glad you still talked to me," she started. Dark curls framed her face and her lips were light pink and Merlin remembered how it felt to run his hands through that hair and kiss those lips.

His hand reached over the table and covered hers.

"We're fine, Freya. We're on good terms now," he said reassuringly.

She smiled, and Merlin felt his heart melt a little bit. She was so beautiful, so kind, so sweet, so smart. Sure she didn't joke around much, but it was due to her delicate nature.

"Look, Merlin," she said.

A ring on Merlin's mobile interrupted her. He checked the caller ID and smiled, letting go of Freya's hand.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's fine," she leaned back into her seat and took a sip of her coffee.

"Morgana," he greeted, standing up. Freya narrowed her eyes.

"_Hey," she said._

There was something wrong with her tone of voice, something tense.

"What's the matter?"

_"Merlin,"_ she choked on a sob, "_Someone wanted my dad dead. It's starting to make sense_."

He felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. It was only Monday, and Morgana had picked up a lead. He had to smile a bit before realising what it implied. Her parents were murdered. He couldn't leave her alone with her in a state like that. He was the only one who knew what was going on. He needed to be there for his friend.

"I'm coming to get you," he said, "go home and get some rest."

"_I can't leave Ashford, I need to find out what really happened_," Morgana said, mind buzzing. She needed to call Morgause and find out what her older sister knew.

"I'll stay with you. I'm not going to leave you alone, you'll go barmier than you already are," he said trying to sound light.

Morgana let out a chuckle, "_You've barely seen your mum_."

"I'll come back for Christmas, but right now, I need to be with you," he paused, fully aware of the weight of his words. A few feet away Freya regarded him curiously, wondering who he needed to be with.

"_Merlin_," she was going to protest.

"Morgana," he grumbled.

"_Thank you_," she whispered finally.

She hung up and Merlin walked back towards the table. Will had returned and Freya looked at him blankly, gears in her head turning.

"I've got to get going. It was great seeing you, mate, Freya," Merlin said. Will stood in confusion.

"What's goin' on?"

"I need to be somewhere," Merlin answered vaguely.

"More like with someone," Freya said with a gentle smile, "I hope everything's all right."

Merlin smiled at her and nodded at Will before taking off towards his mum's flat. He'd call Will and explain everything later. Right now, there was a grieving, mad Morgana on her own, and she needed a friend.

* * *

Merlin found himself in Dublin once more, looking around the train station. He had given Hunith a brief account of Morgana and her current frazzled state, and Hunith had smiled at her boy and kissed him on the forehead, telling him to go be a good friend.

He saw her wearing her dark red coat and black hat, looking as she did two days ago, except she looked paler and distraught.

"Merlin," she greeted him with a hug. She didn't feel like over-analysing why it was so damn easy for her to throw her arms around him, or why it was felt so right to be held by him. She had more important things to think about at the moment.

"Hey," he whispered into her hair. Her arms tightened around him and he clung back just as tight.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She didn't move. Her head was buried in the crook of his shoulder and he could tell she had been crying.

"I wish I didn't know," she mumbled.

Merlin's hand ran up and down her back soothingly. To passerby, they might've looked like two lovers embracing after a long time apart. Instead it was one friend comforting the other after a day spent apart.

"Know what?" he asked gently.

She pulled away a bit, looking up at him, "It's a long story."

Morgana led him to the car waiting in the car park. He should've known she had a chauffeur, but Morgana never seemed like one of those entitled rich kids, despite her wealth. They slipped into the backseat and the chauffeur, an aging man, smiled at the pair.

"Home, miss?" he asked with affection in his voice. The last time he had seen the girl she'd been just that, a girl. She was always smiling and cracking jokes. Now she was solemn and quiet. She seemed to be more at ease with this man she had fetched from the train station.

"Yes," Morgana nodded.

"Sir, would you like to stop anywhere?" he asked Merlin. Merlin looked confused at being called 'sir'.

"Oh, no. And please, I'm just Merlin," he said with a light smile.

"Yes, sir," the chauffeur said and pulled out of the lot and into the street.

"Sir?" Merlin mouthed to Morgana with a raised brow and she shook her head with repressed laughter.

She was glad Merlin was with her. She didn't think she could deal with this alone.

* * *

Once at the Lefay estate, Morgana introduced Merlin to Mrs Gibbons, who smiled brightly at the boy and informed him that the guest room had been prepared. Merlin thanked her in his bumbling way and Morgana couldn't help but smile. Gibbons had taken their coats and scarves and hats and gloves and told them to take off their shoes. Merlin sent Morgana a glance and she just shrugged. Mrs Gibbons liked to keep a clean house.

She took him to the guest room and he set down his small suitcase on quite possibly the largest bed he'd ever get to sleep in, not including the one at the hotel.

"Are you ready to talk?" Merlin asked softly.

Morgana shook her head, "Nope."

She left the room and Merlin followed her into what looked like a little girl's room. She took out a folded letter from her purse and handed it to him. He looked at her quizzically.

"Just read it," she sat down on her bed. Standing, Merlin read the letter.

_My dearest Vivenne,_

_I know you have told me that this must end, but I cannot bear to lose you. You have been there for me, and I promise to be there for you. Morgana is young still and would not understand the truth, of this I am sure. Gorlois has doted on her and is her father in name and in demeanor, but you are well aware of the situation. Viv, please, just come to London and remain with myself and Arthur. Arthur needs a mother, and who better to care for him than you? Morgause is already grown and has her father. Morgana is but a child, so accept my offer and bring her with you.  
_

Merlin looked up in confusion.

"Keep reading," Morgana's eyes were glassy with tears.

"I feel like I'm invading strangers' privacy. I can't," he handed her the letter. Morgana took it from him and set in on the bed.

"Uther and my mother were...involved," Morgana looked like she was about to vomit. Her face paled and she shook her head.

"Morgana," Merlin said sympathetically.

"My mother was fucking Uther Pendragon!" she shouted with a grimace. It sounded so much worse aloud than it did in her head. She stood, pacing.

"What does this have to do with your parents' deaths?" he asked, befuddled.

"Nothing? Everything? It's dated a month before they died. I can't believe it. I hate them! How could they do this to my dad? Uther was his _best friend!_ And my mother? She was screwing around with other men? I guess that's why she and Morgause's dad got divorced," she laughed bitterly, sounding mad. She wasn't sure what this bloody letter had to do with her parents' deaths. She couldn't think or breathe anymore.

Merlin took her arm gently, trying to stop her constant pacing. She stilled and stared at the wall, not looking Merlin in the eye.

"I'm sorry I'm just unloading all of my family's shit on you," Morgana said numbly.

"What are friends for?" Merlin tried to sound unaffected. Someone needed to be strong, here. Usually it was Morgana, with her cool calm. Now it was his turn.

"Merlin," Morgana's chin trembled, "what am I going to do?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly, wrapping his arms around her waist in a hug. She placed her hands on his shoulders, inching them upward before finally clasping her hands around his neck.

"Whatever you need, I'm here," he told her quietly.

She nodded minutely and hugged him closer to her. She wished her parents weren't dead. She wished she didn't know that her mother was a cheater and a liar. She wished she was back in London with Gwen, laughing over some stupid thing while they drank tea and Merlin made them dinner. She realised that this was no longer her home, and that maybe it never had been anyway. But she had Merlin now, and she supposed that was perfectly fine, to have a friend while she dealt with a crisis.

She rested her cheek against his chest and he patted her back, trying to soothe her. This was happening far too often lately, Merlin holding her and trying to make her feel better. She pulled away and offered him a pained grin.

"Let's go for a walk, yeah?" Morgana said. Merlin nodded.

* * *

They had collected their coats and shoes from the closet in the hall downstairs. Morgana took him outside and he looked at everything in wonder. The Lefay estate had immense grounds and gardens and paths leading to the gardens and statues of angels and cherubs.

"Don't blink," Merlin had stared at a statue of an angel, making Morgana burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Whatever you do, don't blink," she snorted. She liked that episode, it was good. It was also good to try and think of something other than what plagued her mind.

In their hands they had cigarettes, their plans for quitting temporarily waylaid. Morgana blew smoke from her mouth, feeling her nerves calm.

"I still need to search my dad's study," she sighed.

"I'll help," he offered.

She grinned at him and took another drag from her cigarette.

"I don't know what to say to Uther, though," her grin faltered. What would he do? What would Arthur do, to find out his father was a cheating bastard? She sighed once more.

"Just don't say anything until you have the full story," Merlin suggested, ever the sensible one. She nodded in agreement and threw her cigarette on the ground, crushing it with her heel.

"Do you want to go to the swing set?" she asked suddenly.

"You have a swing set?" he asked.

She nodded, "My dad built it."

Gorlois. Her father, who was betrayed and then killed. She felt sick again. She doubled over the bushes and wretched. Merlin pulled her hair back, away from her face, looking away.

She stood and wiped her mouth, "Sorry."

"Let's go inside. I think you've caught yourself a cold," Merlin said, steering her towards the manor.

"I'm fine," Morgana rolled her eyes.

"You're pale and just vomited into a bush. You're not fine," Merlin sounded so much like Gwen at that moment it was uncanny.

She rolled her eyes once more and stalked back to where they came from, grumbling something about annoying pasty Irishmen. Merlin laughed and shook his head before jogging after her. That was the Morgana he knew. The sarcastic, slightly angry, always hilarious Morgana. Not the distressed and worried woman she'd become while searching for the truth.

"Morgana, wait up!" Merlin called. She quickened her pace, turned around, and laughed in his face.

"Morgana!" Merlin scowled, running faster.

He finally caught up to her and caught her by the arm, "Got you."

"Oh, fuck you," Morgana glared, trying not to smile.

"Maybe later," Merlin said mockingly, trying to get her to laugh, to forget about why she was back home.

"Well you know where my room is," she smirked and stuck her tongue out. She took his stunned silence as an opportunity to shake out of his grasp and leave him gaping after her like an idiot.

"Well?" she turned around as she neared the manor, smiling.

Merlin hurried after her. It was going to be a long few days.

* * *

**Let me know if you mind the swearing and if you'd mind an upped rating for certain events to transpire later on. Does anyone have any theories as to the deaths of Morgana's parents? I really want to know if everything is blatantly obvious or if the set up is good. Please review.**


	10. Searching, Someones

**Thank you all so much for favoriting/following and reviewing! I hope the swearing isn't too excessive, and the rating probably won't go up since that's not the main focus of the story. I hope Morgana doesn't seem too over-dramatic, though I think she would be, dealing with her parents' deaths and the affair and all of that going on in her life.  
**

**You'll probably notice a hint I dropped in this chapter regarding Morgana and Uther's actual relationship. It's to do with noses, if you need a hint to find the hint. Or maybe it's a red herring. Bwahahahaha.  
**

* * *

**X**

Gorlois Lefay's office was lined with bookshelves full of volumes of books on any and every topic imaginable. History, check. Mathematics, check. Natural sciences, check. Political science, check. Law, check. Needless to say, the late Lefay was a well-read man. His table in the centre of the room was large, topped with an old computer system and modem, deemed ancient by the two university students who had spent the better part of an entire day in that very room.

Morgana sat at her father's desk, scrolling through old word documents. She had easily guessed the computer password (her birthday), and now was reading old articles he had written. She had brought her old whiteboard from her room and used the aged markers to scrawl notes. It read: Affair - letter 1 month prior - accident. Connection? Dad's snooping around government - old Prime Minister or his officials?

Merlin sat on the floor, surrounded by papers they had found in his desk drawers and file cabinets. Insurance papers, notes to Vivienne, some of Morgana's old drawings. He had laughed quite a bit at Morgana's drawing of a princess and prince, the princess with long dark curls and the prince scrawny and big eared, with a mop of dark hair. He had laughed more when she mumbled something of it not being a prince.

"What?" he chuckled, all the while sorting through papers.

"He's not a prince, he's a servant," she mumbled.

Merlin laughed, and Morgana glared at him, "It was because of that stupid story my mother used to tell me, okay."

"Right, I get it," Merlin calmed down and grinned at her, "how'd you know he had such large ears?"

Morgana shrugged it off, "Big ears are adorable."

"Really?" Merlin batted his eyelashes, "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Fuck off," Morgana threw a pen at him.

"Sorry," Merlin rolled his eyes. He was about to comment on her use of the word 'fuck', but decided enough writing utensils had been thrown at him for one day. He turned back to the papers and wrinkled his nose.

"Hey," he said.

"Yeah?" Morgana looked up from the computer.

"Your parents sold the shares in Uther's company before they died," Merlin stood, bringing the papers over to her. She took it and started reading.

"I thought the shares went back to the company _after_ they died," she murmured, gears in her brain turning. Something was amiss, and she was determined to figure out why. She scribbled that on the board: 'Shares sold'.

"Oh?" Merlin frowned, "what was the company for?"

"Alternative energy, like using electricity instead of fossil fuels," Morgana couldn't see how this was important, but something was nagging at her yet again.

Merlin nodded and went back to the papers on the floor. He found one of Morgana's old school grade books and tossed it aside. Brilliant as Mr Lefay was, organised he certainly wasn't. It was nearing dinner time and they'd been in the study all day. Christmas fell on a Tuesday this year, meaning all offices closed early on Monday. It was late Wednesday evening, so Morgana had decided to gather as much information and potential evidence as she could by Sunday to take on Monday. She also told Merlin he should be home for the holidays, with his mum. Merlin pointed out that she'd miss the Pendragon Christmas party, and she had responded with a glare, and informed him that she couldn't deal with Uther Pendragon now that she knew of her mother's affair. She did however want to speak with Uther, the sooner the better.

They were interrupted by Mrs Gibbons calling them for dinner, which they refused simultaneously.

"You two need to eat something," she tutted.

"Just bring us some tea and sandwiches, then," Morgana requested, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her glasses sat on her face, and she felt as though her vision would blur permanently.

"Of course," Mrs Gibbons headed out.

"Thank you," Merlin smiled at the woman, earning a smile in return.

After a few more moments, Morgana let out a gasp. It was one of her father's articles, one left unpublished. The byline was dated a week before the accident.

"What is it?" Merlin asked, twisting around to face her.

"My father was reporting on how the government took great interest in Camelot Co. In particular, interest in their advancements of using nuclear energy for everyday use," her face was grim.

"They wanted to use nuclear weapons for electricity and energy?" Merlin's eyes widened.

Morgana nodded, "Apparently."

"What does that tell us?" Merlin asked.

"That Uther Pendragon may have had some idea of what was going on. Maybe it was his employees or business partners who wanted my dad gone. Who knows?" Morgana bit her lip. She refused to believe that Uther would want his oldest friend dead. No man could be that cruel, affair or no affair.

Before Merlin could say anything, Gibbons returned with their tea and sandwiches. After thanking her, Morgana joined Merlin on the floor. She took a sip of tea slowly, mind racing.

"I feel like I have nearly all the pieces of the puzzle, but I'm missing something? Shit, what else?" Morgana groaned.

"You'll figure it out," Merlin said hopefully.

"So Vivienne and Uther were having an affair. His company was dealing with nukes. My dad knew about it and was going to expose the corporation to the public. He and Vivienne die before the truth gets out. It's all connected, I know it is," Morgana mused aloud. She found early on that she could hypothesise better if she spoke aloud, which led quite a few people to think she was mental.

Merlin picked up a document with the Camelot seal and frowned.

"Who's Aggravaine Brittany?" he asked between sips of tea.

"Uther's brother-in-law, Arthur's uncle. He took over the company when Uther got interested in politics and elected to Parliament," Morgana answered nonchalantly. She furrowed her brow. Aggravaine had been in charge of the company for nearly twenty years, now. That's how long Uther had been a member of the House of Commons. He'd only been elected as Prime Minister for the first time six years ago.

"So he was in charge of the corporation when your parents, well, your mum, sold the shares and then died?" Merlin prodded.

Morgana nodded. Aggravaine. She had only seen him occasionally on Arthur's birthdays, the snake playing the doting uncle. It wasn't Uther at all. It was Aggravaine.

"Uther sold his shares to my parents when he got involved in government, and Aggravaine had the rest of the shares and took over the company entirely," Morgana said with a frown. If Uther knew about the nukes, was he proposing their usage for energy to Parliament? Why did no one mention that ever again? It'd been years. Maybe Uther didn't know, and it was all Aggravaine. When her parents died, all the shares went to Aggravaine, meaning that he had 100 percent control over everything. Surely Uther wouldn't want her parents dead: they were the only ones protecting his old company from Aggravaine's schemes. There was so much that she wasn't aware of, and digging for the truth just made her have more questions. Part of her thought being left in the dark was better for her than knowing how much crap went on in her family. Ignorance may have been bliss.

Merlin seemed to understand exactly where she was going with this, and held her hand. She looked at him and smiled gently. She squeezed his hand, glad that he was there with her.

* * *

"Hello?" Morgana picked up her mobile. She sat in her old room (it wasn't really her room anymore, her room was the one she shared with Gwen) on her bed.

"_Hey_!" Gwen greeted over the line.

"Gwen! How are you?" Morgana asked.

"_Fine, fine. How's being home_?"

"Good," she answered. It was mostly a lie, but Gwen need not know that.

"_So, how's Merlin doing over there_?" Gwen asked with a small smirk, not that Morgana could see.

"What?" Morgana nearly paled.

"_He told Lancelot, who told me, about the change in plans_," Gwen said lightly.

"Please don't be mad, Gwen. He's just here to help me with something, completely platonic. I wasn't sure if you still fancied him. He's all yours," Morgana rambled.

Gwen laughed over the line, "_Relax, Morgana. I'm just messing with you. I don't fancy Merlin. He's just too...Merlin_."

Morgana let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "So, Lancelot's been with you, eh?"

"_And on that note, I need to go. We'll talk at the Christmas party_?" Gwen asked.

"I may not be able to make it, but I'll try," Morgana said. Maybe the best thing would be to go and speak to Uther before storming the police station with what she believed to be evidence. She needed a day to sort herself and everything out before making a rash decision.

"_You better. Lancelot still thinks I'm being too hard on Arthur_," Gwen scowled uncharacteristically.

"He's not so bad, Gwen. Just give him a chance," Morgana said, surprising herself. No, Arthur wasn't terrible.

"_Right_," Gwen said skeptically, "_My dad's calling me to go. We're going to the cinema_."

"Have fun. Bye," Morgana said.

"_Bye_," Gwen chirped, hanging up.

* * *

She sat at her father's desk once more, writing on the whiteboard and then writing in a notebook. Everything that she had found out. She printed out her father's unpublished article and placed it in a folder with the other documents she and Merlin had found. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and took her glasses off, closing her eyes.

"You should get some sleep," Merlin said from the doorway. He leaned against it, arms cross. He looked tired, too, and she immediately felt guilty for dragging him into the mess that was her life. He should've been with his mother and Will and Freya. She frowned unconsciously at the thought of the girl who didn't want Merlin. He was incredibly loyal to his friends, and she didn't know why. Perhaps she didn't know what loyalty was. After all, who did she have left to be loyal to?

No. She had someone now. A couple of someones: Gwen, her first real friend, Merlin, the boy who was always there for everyone, and Arthur, who she had grown up with and would be affected by Uther and Vivienne's betrayal as much as she was. She hadn't really thought of how the truth would affect Arthur. Arthur, the boy who was like an annoying brother to her, the boy who used to play with her dolls when she asked, the boy who had always defended her against the prats at school. He had even beaten up one bloke after he had called Morgana a 'goth whore'. Morgana hadn't been aware of this until well after the fact, since Arthur ignored her at prep school and never actively sought her out. She supposed she was to blame for that, being the ice queen and all. Arthur had always protected her, whether she knew it or not, and now it was time for her to protect him.

Arthur Pendragon believed in his father and in everything he said and did. She couldn't tell him the truth and make Uther the bad guy. Arthur would be a mess. She couldn't do that to him. She wouldn't. She still wanted to speak to Uther, but she resolved to be calm about it and not bring up the murders. She was all but completely certain Uther wasn't aware of what Aggravaine had been up to. She didn't want to cause more problems than she already had.

"I'm not sleepy," she responded to Merlin's suggestion.

"Right," Merlin deadpanned.

Morgana stood and collected her notebook and file full of documents.

"You get some sleep, too," she said.

Merlin narrowed his eyes, "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," she smiled as best she could, given the circumstances.

The two left the study and turned the lights off, closing the door behind them. They padded up the stairs and lingered in the hallway, between their rooms.

"How much longer do you think you'll stay here?" Merlin asked.

"At least 'til Friday," Morgana shrugged, "I need tot talk to Uther, but I'm not ready yet. You should get back home." She wouldn't go to the police. Not yet. Not until she saw Morgause at the Christmas party and until she spoke to Uther.

"I'm staying, Morgana. You shouldn't be alone right now," he frowned.

"I'm not alone. I have Mrs Gibbons," Morgana said lightly.

"Bullshit. I'm staying until you go back to London," Merlin said firmly.

"I'm not a child. I can handle myself," Morgana scowled.

"I know you're not, and I know you can. Haven't you heard that song, getting by with a little help from your friends and all?" he told her.

She shook her head, "Good night."

"Night," Merlin smiled sadly and disappeared into the guest room.

Morgana went into her own room and immediately flopped down onto her bed.

* * *

Uther stared at Arthur across the table. Arthur wore his football uniform as he had practice in an hour, and shoveled food into his mouth. The house was incredibly quiet with his and Morgana's bickering. Arthur dare not admit this to anyone, let alone himself.

"Didn't Morgana tell you when she'd be returning?" Uther sounded tense.

"Nope," Arthur took another bite of eggs, "Just that she was looking into a few things regarding the manor and visiting old friends."

"What old friends?" Uther narrowed his eyes.

"How am I supposed to know?" Arthur shrugged.

Uther pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses off of his face. Arthur frowned.

"Why are you so concerned? Morgana's a big girl, she can take care of herself," Arthur said. It was true, Morgana was fairly self-sufficient. It's not like she accepted anyone's help, anyway.

"She's all alone in her old house, filled with memories of her dead parents. How would you feel?" Uther snapped at his son.

Arthur frowned, "Pretty crappy, I'd think. We're sort of in the same boat." He was referring to his deceased mother's belongings scattered around the house, mementos of the woman Uther had loved so much and lost so soon.

"She knew her parents, Arthur. She has memories of them. I'm so sorry you never met your mother, but maybe that makes it easier," Uther said quietly.

"Sometimes I feel like you care about her more than you care about me," Arthur was equally quiet, "I'm your child, not her."

Uther sighed, "She lost her family. I've always tried to make her feel at home here. I am sorry you feel that I've set you aside."

Arthur shook his head and stood up, ready to go to practice.

"I get it, dad, really, I do. I want Morgana to feel at home, too. Always have," Arthur offered a quick smile before leaving.

Uther Pendragon was left alone at the immense dining table, and he wondered how he'd been left by everyone he'd ever cared for. Igraine, Gorlois, Vivienne. Now Arthur and Morgana were distancing themselves from him. That was inevitable. They were both eighteen, almost nineteen. Morgana technically didn't have to live there anymore if she didn't want to. She was eighteen, and he was no longer her guardian legally. She was a grown woman. If she wished, she could move back to Ashford. Arthur could move out, as well. He'd lose them both, and the thought terrified him.

He sighed. He'd lost his closest friends and wife; he didn't want to lose Arthur and Morgana, too.

* * *

Morgana stumbled into the kitchen sleepily to find Merlin at the stove cooking eggs while Mrs Gibbons sat at the counter, drinking coffee and eating a scone. It was all so domestic that she felt like she was in a strange alternate reality.

"Morning," Morgana greeted in confusion. It was a strange sight to see first thing after waking up. Merlin cooking, Mrs Gibbons actually taking a rest. She shook her head.

"Morning," the two chimed, weirding her out even more.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Merlin's just the most delightful boy, Morgana. I don't understand why you're so rude to him," Gibbons took a sip from her mug.

"Rude? Me? Merlin!" she swatted the man on the shoulder.

"See?" he looked to Gibbons, who nodded solemnly, "Sit down and break fast."

"Have you been reading _Game of Thrones_?" Morgana asked with a raised brow.

"It's so violent," Mrs Gibbons shuddered a bit.

"I think that's the point, Mrs Gibbons. War is brutal, and life is short," Merlin shrugged.

"When did you start getting all philosophical?" Morgana asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee. She'd have tea later.

"Since I've got philosophy next term," he said with a grin.

"With Keegan?" Morgana asked.

Merlin nodded.

"See you there," she said.

Merlin faked a disappointed groan, only to receive glares like daggers. Mrs Gibbons watched their exchange in silence, smiling softly. He set the eggs and plates on the counter, and Morgana got up to get the forks and a loaf of bread. She was pleased to find everything in the same place at they'd always been. She always liked breakfast with her parents, at the counter in the kitchen instead of in the grand dining room like at the Pendragons.

She and Merlin settled onto stools next to each other and ate while comparing their spring term schedules. They'd have philosophy and work on the university paper together.

"I should get to working," Mrs Gibbons stood up, taking her empty cup to the sink.

"Oh, no. Break fast with us," Morgana said, sending Merlin a smirk.

"I really should clean up around here," Gibbons said with finality and left the massive kitchen.

Merlin took a bite of food and chewed slowly before speaking.

"I think I'll leave tomorrow," he said.

Morgana nodded. To be honest, she was planning on leaving Friday, too. She couldn't prolong her stay any longer. She had what she needed. Now all she needed was to talk to Uther, then Morgause, and maybe Aggravaine. (Not that she thought Aggraivaine would tell her the truth, but it was worth a shot).

"I was thinking the same," Morgana agreed, "we could buy our tickets today."

Merlin bit licked his lips and Morgana looked at him for a moment before frowning. She wished he'd go back to London with her, but he should spend Christmas with his family. It wasn't his fault she had no family to speak of, well except for the Pendragons. She really did consider Arthur to be a brother to her, despite her protests and corrections of 'foster brother, there's a difference', but she didn't think she could ever consider Uther as anything more than her guardian. She was appreciative of his taking her in, but now that she knew of his relations with her mother, she couldn't look at him the same ever again.

"Sounds good to me. Are you going to be okay?" he asked gently.

"I'll have Gwen," she smiled reassuringly.

* * *

Morgana stepped off of the train, alone, again. She looked around and was surprised to see Gwen waiting on the platform. She waved gleefully and Morgana ran up to her.

"Gwen!" Morgana hugged her in greeting.

"I am so glad you're back! My brother is driving me crazy with his interrogations," she rolled her eyes.

"How can I help?" Morgana asked brightly.

"Stay with me at the flat?" Gwen asked with large brown eyes.

Morgana grinned, "I was going to ask you the same."

Gwen hugged her once more and beamed at her best friend, "Thank God. Elyan won't shut up about Lancelot."

"Do you think he fancies him?" Morgana asked as they exited the train station and headed for the tube.

Gwen laughed, "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," she said truthfully.

* * *

The flat Morgana shared with Gwen was more of a home to her now than any of her childhood homes. Not the Lefay manor, not with the Pendragons (currently at 10 Downing Street). None of it but her and Gwen's flat. It was the place where she could sing terribly at the top of her lungs and stay in her pajamas all day. It was the place where she and Gwen watched shows on her laptop for hours on end, the place where they studied together and laughed together. Gwen Smith was her best friend, and she was so glad to be home.

"You seem tired," Gwen commented as she tossed herself onto the couch. She had told her father and Elyan that since Morgana was returning, she wouldn't stay alone any longer. Tom Smith had begrudgingly agreed and driven his daughter back to campus, Elyan grumbling something about Morgana's return being a flimsy excuse to be closer to Lancelot.

"A bit, yeah. Long train ride," Morgana shrugged it off. She didn't want to let Gwen know about the murder investigation, the affair. She was so ashamed. She didn't want to burden Gwen with that. She'd already dragged Merlin into this mess, and she wished she had kept her big mouth shut. She was toxic to the others around her, and she knew it.

Gwen didn't seem convinced and decided that Morgana would talk when she felt like it.

"How's Merlin?" Gwen asked.

"Good. Back in Armagh by now," Morgana said lightly, tiptoeing around the subject of Gwen's former crush.

"I haven't fancied him in a while, Morgana. Relax," Gwen said with a laugh. She had fancied Merlin at first because he was so sweet and adorable, but it was just a crush that passed fleetingly.

"Well that's because you have the dashing young Lancelot who is obviously smitten," Morgana said cheekily.

Gwen threw a pillow at her and Morgana laughed, heading towards their room to change.

"Gwen and Lance, sitting in a tree," she sang from the room.

"Shut up or I'll tell Arthur that Merlin was with you!" she shouted from her spot on the couch.

"Go ahead. Purely platonic," Morgana returned to the living room wearing a loose pair of jeans and tee shirt.

Gwen rolled her eyes and picked up the laptop.

"Care to watch some Doctor Who?" Gwen asked.

Morgana nodded. They were currently on a rewatch of the fourth series because Donna Noble was just that fantastic.

"I love this episode," Morgana said. It was companion-light, but she liked it well enough. The Doctor stranded on a flying bus with humans all too ready to turn on him was brilliant.

"That's just because Jethro looks like an emo Merlin," Gwen giggled.

"What?" Morgana frowned, "they look nothing alike."

"Are you blind?" Gwen looked at Morgana as if she had truly lost it.

"Jethro's hot. Merlin's, well, Merlin," Morgana shrugged.

Gwen shook her head and decided to remain silent. The resemblance between the two was uncanny, but if Morgana didn't want to see it, she wouldn't.

Morgana scowled and crossed her arms across her chest. Right now she'd enjoy some quality time with Gwen. She'd return to the Pendragon household sometime before the Christmas party on Monday night, Christmas Eve. She thought she would put-off talking to Uther until after Christmas, but she couldn't wait. She needed to make sure Uther was innocent. She _needed_ him to be innocent, because she refused to believe such a heartless man would take in an orphan and care for her as he would his own child.

She shook her head and turned her attention back to the skulking boy in the back as the Doctor was introduced to him. He did _not_ look like Merlin.

* * *

**So, yeah. Aggravaine! (shakes fist). I last mentioned him in chapter six, as a sort of set up, you know, the passing line about him running Uther's company after he got involved in politics. Coming up: some awkward moments between Lancelot, Gwen, and Arthur at the Christmas party, and some of how Merlin will spend Christmas with Will and Freya, while Morgana will interrogate Uther. Please review!  
**

**Side note: I am so excited for the Olympics. I was flailing over Comic Con photos and videos and Katie wanting Merlin as her magical pet, and now I'm waiting for David Tennant dressed as 10 to show up at the Olympics, as unlikely as that may be.  
**


	11. Truth and Parties

**Thank you all so, so much for the reviews on the last chapter, and thank you for sticking with this story. I really appreciate the favoriting/following/alerts and reviews! I probably won't be updating during the week since I'll be at work every day, all day, but I'll try to get another chapter in midway through the week.  
**

* * *

**XI  
**

Morgana walked through the entryway slowly, entering Number 10 Downing Street. She was greeted by Jonathan at the gate and she smiled tensely. It was snowing and she was glad to be inside.

She looked around the foyer, peering into the living room. No sign of Uther. It was a few days before Christmas, and time to speak to him. She hadn't been able to get a hold of Morgause, who was presumably still travelling with Cendred. 'Be back by Christmas' her arse.

Arthur came trotting down the stairs, brow raised.

"You're back," he said.

"No, I'm still there," Morgana rolled her eyes. Arthur made a face at her in annoyance and brushed past her.

"Hey, is Uther here?" Morgana called after him.

"In a meeting. You're going to have to wait," Arthur shrugged.

Morgana sighed and followed him into the living room, still wearing her coat and carrying her bag.

"How was being home?" Arthur asked as they sat down on the couch.

"Productive," Morgana shrugged, "it was nice to be back. But it hasn't been home in ages."

Arthur nodded, "Did you visit your parents' graves?"

Morgana nodded. It was a short trip to the cemetery. It was mostly her yelling at her mother, crying, asking how she could do this to them. She had fallen into the snow in front of her dad's grave, still sobbing.

"How's Merlin?" Arthur asked with a nearly imperceptible smirk.

"How should I know?" Morgana asked, paling just a bit.

"I know he stayed with you. You don't have to lie," Arthur seemed slightly offended that Morgana wouldn't want to divulge in the details of her trip.

"I needed a friend, he helped me. He's back home, now. That's it," she shrugged. How did Arthur know? Merlin? Gwen?

"Whatever you say," Arthur said sceptically.

"Really," Morgana insisted tiredly.

"It's not like I'd go and beat the shit out of him if you _were_ together," Arthur said, staring at the telly.

"Really?" Morgana raised a brow, smirking, "I didn't realise you and Merlin were so close. You tend to like beating the shit out of people."

"Only the people who hurt you," Arthur grumbled. How ungrateful could one person be? He treated her as a sister. He _saw_ her as the sister he never had.

"I can take care of myself," Morgana bristled.

Arthur nodded, "I know. Just don't cut the rest of us off, okay?"

"Okay," Morgana smiled lightly.

She unbuttoned her coat and draped it over the back of the couch. She spotted the Wii and grinned.

"Care for some sword fighting?" she asked.

"You're on," Arthur jumped out of his seat, turning the Wii on. Morgana took one of the controllers, swinging it around. Arthur selected the game and they faced the television set, fighting each other.

Morgana sent some blows to his stomach, laughing.

"Morgana!" he said petulantly.

"Remind you of how I used to beat you?" she grinned. Their Wii was only a few years old, but as children they'd use sticks to 'swordfight' with each other until Uther chastised them on their behaviour.

"I recall no such thing," Arthur frowned, taking a swipe at her head.

"Come on, Pendragon, look alive," she grunted, smacking his Mii in the leg.

Their game was cut short when Uther Pendragon walked into the entryway to the living room, looking amused.

"Arthur, Morgana," he greeted them and they nearly dropped their controllers.

"Dad," Arthur said.

"Uther," Morgana smiled, before remembering why she was there. Her face went blank once more.

"Morgana, welcome back," Uther smiled.

"Glad to be back," that wasn't a lie, surprisingly.

"Will you be staying here the remainder of your break?"

"No," she shook her head, "I'll be with Gwen at the flat."

Uther's smile faltered before his façade returned once more.

"I need to talk to you, though," she said quickly.

"Follow me," Uther led her to his study, leaving Arthur alone in the living room to battle against the game.

* * *

While Gorlois's study was warm, inviting, and unorganised, Uther's study was organised and cold.

Morgana sat down on a swivelling chair and fought the urge to spin around.

"What's on your mind, Morgana?" Uther asked from across his desk.

Morgana dug out the file folder from her purse and set in on the table.

"I found some interesting documents while I was home," she said coolly.

Uther took the folder and flipped through the pages, paling. In that moment, he looked so incredibly old and alone.

"Morgana," his throat was hoarse.

"Did you have anything to do with my parents' murder? And I know they were murdered," she said quietly.

"No. Gorlois was my best friend. I could never harm them," Uther shook his head.

"Yet you slept with his wife?" Morgana's green eyes searched Uther's own green pair. She felt sick when she remembered her mother had blue eyes and her father brown. No. No. Her grandmother had green eyes, that's where her eye colour came from. It was just generics being random. She would not doubt her paternity. Gorlois was her father, not Uther. Everyone said how much she was like Gorlois in attitude. Gorlois Lefay was her father, not Uther Pendragon.

Uther pinched his nose and sunk back into his chair.

"How long?" Morgana pressed.

"A few years," Uther said.

"What about my dad, huh? Your best friend?" Morgana tried to keep herself from crying.

"Vivienne felt alone, with your father always off researching and being so secretive," Uther tried to explain himself.

"Because your corporation was dealing with nuclear warheads," Morgana nearly shouted. She hushed her voice towards the end of the sentence, as not to attract Arthur's attention.

"I didn't know about that until it was too late. Trust me, had I known, Aggravaine would have been gone and your parents would have been safe," Uther said, eyes wide and teary.

For some reason, she believed him. A guilty, evil man would not seem so distraught, would he?

"I loved both your parents very much, Morgana," he looked at her before looking away, "they were always there for me, and I let them down. I am so incredibly sorry."

Morgana wiped tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath.

"Why? Why betray him like that?" she asked painfully.

Uther took a deep breath and sighed, "You wouldn't understand. You're still so young."

"Try me," Morgana said quietly.

"I pray you never love someone from afar, someone whom you know is too good for you, someone whom marries the better person for them, the truly just, right, and magnificent person. I pray your heart never breaks because you're overlooked again and again," Uther was slumped in his chair.

Morgana's heart nearly broke right then and there. She never thought 'overlooked' would be a way to describe the Prime Minister.

"But you loved Arthur's mum," Morgana said in confusion.

"More than anyone else, and she was taken away from me," Uther frowned, needing a drink.

"So why have an affair?" Morgana choked out.

"Back in university, I had fancied Vivienne without her ever knowing. She was beautiful and smart, and everything I could have asked for. Then she married Morgause's father, and I met Igraine at the wedding. I fell head over heels for that woman. She was perfect, like an angel or something sent to make things better, and perfect creatures are never on earth long enough, are they?" he smiled bitterly.

He stood and walked towards the small assortment of drinks. Whiskey. Yes, whiskey was good. He poured himself a glass and offered one to Morgana, who took it and set it on the desk.

"Then what happened?" Morgana asked.

"Igraine and I were married. We wanted children so much, but had some difficulties," Uther explained, "around the same time, your mother got divorced and shortly thereafter married your father. I had known Gorlois for ages, and was truly happy for them. Then Vivienne and Igraine were pregnant at the same time, and planned how you and Arthur would grow up together, the best of friends."

"So you forgot how much you loved my mother?" Morgana's brow furrowed.

"You know the rest of the story. My beloved Igraine passed, and I was left alone. Vivienne and Gorlois helped me, but they had a newborn, too. Everything was fine for a few years until Gorlois started working longer, and Vivienne came to me, and I remembered how much I had loved her," Uther finished. He'd always loved her, but never acted on it until it was too late.

"So you lied to your best friend," Morgana frowned.

"I regret it. I regret hurting Gorlois, and you," Uther said finally, "he was my best friend and I deeply regret hurting him. I cared for him very much."

"And Arthur?" Morgana asked.

"He knows nothing of this," Uther said, sounding tense.

"Don't worry. I won't be the one to tell him his father's a cheating liar," Morgana said breezily.

Uther frowned and sighed, "I am so incredibly sorry. About everything. Please don't hate me."

"Why?" she asked bitterly.

"Everyone I love, I lose. I can't bear to lose you and Arthur," Uther said.

"You should've thought of that sooner, Uther," Morgana stood abruptly and took her bag, leaving the files on the table.

"Please, Morgana," he pleaded, "don't hate me." He was taken back to a time years ago, when he pleaded with Vivienne not to leave, pleaded with Gorlois not to hate him. He had said '_I just need some time_', and a few weeks later, he was dead.

"I just need some time," Morgana didn't want to unleash more accusations or anger on the man. She didn't hate him. She pitied him.

"Whatever you need," Uther said.

Morgana was Gorlois's daughter, in every way. Uther knew this.

She smiled fleetingly. He always took care of her like one of his own, getting her anything she could ever want. What she needed, though, were her parents.

"Uther," Morgana stopped at the door, "what are you going to do with Aggravaine?"

Uther's face went grim, and a flash of rage entered his green eyes, "Give him hell."

Morgana nodded, thankful, and left. She went downstairs and reached the living room to collect her coat.

"Are you all right?" Arthur asked, pausing the game.

"Yeah. Just have a lot on my mind."

She didn't want to lie to Arthur, but it wasn't her place to tell him the truth. It really wasn't. Besides, ignorance was really bliss, wasn't it?

* * *

Merlin always loved Christmas, Eve and Day. It was Christmas Eve and he was on his way to a restaurant with his mum. Hunith, Will's parents, and Freya's parents had decided that instead of making the rounds to one another's houses for lunch, dinner, or tea. They all decided a lunch would be best.

So Merlin sat awkwardly between Hunith and Will while Frey and her parents sat across from him, Will's parents next to Will.

"So, Merlin, how's London?" Mrs Lake, Freya's mum, asked.

"Great. I got my marks for all my classes, so great," he took a sip of the soup in front of him.

"So what took you to Dublin?" Mr Lake asked. Freya's eyes widened in apology and he smiled gently, reassuring her it was fine.

"A friend needed a friend," Merlin said.

"Merlin's a knight in shining armour, you see," Will clapped a hand on Merlin's back.

Will's parents, Mr and Mrs Black, laughed lightly, while Hunith smiled and Mr Lake glared at Merlin. He still didn't like the boy who, in his mind, had broken his little girl's heart.

"So everything's fine?" Hunith asked quietly. Merlin had informed her that Morgana was trying to find out how and why her parents died, conveniently leaving out the part where the Prime Minister had an affair with Morgana's mum.

"Right now, yeah," Merlin nodded with a smile.

The conversation turned to classes and majors and plans for the summer, though it was still Christmas. Merlin loved Will and Freya, really, he did. They'd been best friends since primary school, so they would always be friends. At the moment though, he'd rather be in London, rolling his eyes at Arthur and hanging out with Gwen, Morgana, and Lancelot.

* * *

The door chimed and the two friends and flatmates walked through the door. Why on earth the door was unlocked on Christmas Eve, they didn't know.

"Hello?" Gwen called.

"Gaius?" Morgana looked around.

The old man emerged from the back room, surprise written all over his face.

"Gwen, Morgana, what are you doing here?" he asked in confusion.

"We're taking you to dinner. No one should spend Christmas Eve alone," Gwen smiled and linked her arm with Gaius's.

"Did Merlin put you up to this?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Merlin doesn't know. It was our idea," Morgana grinned.

"What about the Christmas party?" he asked the girls.

"Not for another two hours, and we don't mind being late," Gwen explained.

Morgana grabbed Gaius's coat from the coat rack and handed it to him. Once his coat was buttoned she took his woollen hat and set it atop his white hair.

Gaius turned the lights off and locked up, still in a bit of a daze.

They walked a few blocks, enjoying the light snowfall, and reached a restaurant, where Lancelot was waiting for them. He greeted Morgana with a hug and kissed Gwen on the cheek.

"I don't understand why you're doing this," Gaius asked as they sat around the table, in the midst of the soup course.

"Because you're important to Merlin, and those important to him are important to us," Lancelot said with a soft smile.

Morgana noticed how Gwen took his hand and squeezed it. She needed to make sure they ended up under mistletoe tonight.

Gaius looked at the three young people, tears stinging his eyes. He was an old man, a doddery old fool, but he wasn't alone.

"Merry Christmas, Gaius," Morgana smiled at him.

"Merry Christmas, my girl. Merry Christmas to you all," Gaius smiled.

* * *

Morgana sighed, waiting by the door. It was already nearing ten in the evening, neither her nor Gwen or Lancelot quite willing to leave Gaius alone on Christmas. They finally got home at eight and immediately got dressed to go to the party.

She was wearing a short dark green corseted dress with a skirt that flared out. She wore black tights paired with flat black oxfords, the entire outfit topped with her favourite red coat with the faux-fur trim. The coat was incredibly soft and felt more like a cape than anything else.

Gwen finally emerged, wearing a purple dress with capped sleeves and a ruffled skirt. She paired it with textured tights and a pair of heels, despite the snow. She pulled on her deep blue coat and smiled upon seeing Morgana's hair perfectly curled and pinned away from her face. Gwen had straightened her hair (her perfect, gorgeous hair) much to the protest of both her friends. She merely laughed and replied that it was just for one day of the year.

So they met Lancelot outside, and sat in the car Uther had sent for them. Morgana figured that the guilt must be eating away at him and snorted. He couldn't buy back her affections. She just needed time.

They reached the banquet hall where Uther had decided to throw the party, and Morgana cringed upon entering. It was filled to the brim with Arthur's friends (Leon, Percy, and the two girls, Sophia and Elena that seemed to be vying for Arthur's attention and other people she vaguely recognised).

They shed their coats in the coatroom and immediately headed for the open bar. Dear old Uther, providing university students with unlimited alcohol. She shook her head and took a shot of vodka, while Lancelot and Gwen nursed mulled wine.

She looked around for mistletoe, determined to strand the two beneath it. She was an excellent wingwoman.

Arthur slid onto the seat next to her and ordered a whiskey.

"Merry Christmas," he greeted his foster sister.

"Merry Christmas," they clinked glasses.

"So, did you make anyone cry yet?" he asked after taking a sip.

"No, but the night is young," Morgana grinned, "actually, Gaius cried a little."

"Gaius?" Arthur furrowed his brow. He'd met the man a few times when he stopped by the book shop to help (read: annoy) Merlin and help with the book sorting. Merlin had been surprised but accepted the help.

"Gwen, Lancelot, and I took him for dinner so he wouldn't be alone," Morgana informed him.

"Since when do you care about others so much, Morgana Lefay?" Arthur asked, amused and glad.

She punched him in the arm and he rubbed it, pouting.

"I get it. You spent time with him for Merlin," Arthur nodded knowingly.

"Merlin doesn't know," Morgana took a shot.

Arthur smiled gently, "You really like him, don't you?"

"No one deserves to be alone on Christmas, Arthur, especially not an old man," Morgana said, confused.

"That's not who I meant and you know it," Arthur stood, spotting Elena in the crowd.

"What?" Morgana snorted.

"It's about time you opened your eyes. Too bad he's not here," Arthur smirked, "maybe he'll be here for New Years."

"Fuck off, Arthur," she scowled.

"And there's the Morgana I know so well," he walked off, chuckling.

She took another glass from the bartender and downed it in one go. She stood to find Gwen and Lancelot, completely bypassing the dance floor. She didn't think she'd find them there, and she certainly didn't want to be in the middle of drunken young men. She could already taste the vomit in her mouth.

Morgana spotted her friends sitting in the lounge area.

"Thanks for leaving me with Arthur. Way to stand by your mates," Morgana quipped as she sat down.

"Sorry. He's just super annoying, and talks constantly," Gwen said apologetically.

"He's not that bad, really," Lancelot shook his head, "he's perfectly nice during practice."

"How's football going, anyway? I never really paid much attention," Morgana asked.

"Good. It's paying for my classes, at least," Lancelot smiled gratefully. Ah, football scholarships. At times Morgana complained that money went to already well-off kids and could be used for other programmes, but sometimes sport scholarship funds went to the truly deserving, like Lancelot.

"That's great," Morgana said, noticing how Lancelot and Gwen were holding hands. She was such a third wheel. She needed to get them alone together.

"Oh, I love this song," Gwen said as 'Starlight' played.

"Want to dance?" Lancelot asked.

Gwen glanced at Morgana, who nodded enthusiastically at her, and she accepted. Yes, good. Gwen and Lancelot headed for the dance floor, Gwen positively bouncing up and down on her toes.

Morgana grinned and settled back onto her seat. She'd just spend the night here, or at the bar. It's not like she particularly liked anyone here besides her friends and Arthur. Arthur was currently caught in a Sophia and Elena sandwich while Gwen and Lancelot danced quite adorably.

She stood and walked over to the coatroom, retrieving her belongings. She needed a break from the lights and the Christmas cheer and the happy couples (that's what Gwen and Lancelot were, as far as she was concerned).

Morgana shrugged her coat on and headed outside. She took out her pack of cigarettes, remembering how Merlin had rolled his eyes and told her that it was bad for her (them) and how they should quit, but let her smoking slide when she was in the midst of a crisis.

Just as she was about to light her cigarette, her mobile rang.

"Hello?" she said in annoyance. Who would be calling her at this time of night?

"_Morgana_," he greeted.

Her annoyance immediately disappeared, "Merlin, hi."

"_Hey. I just talked to Gaius. Thank you_," he said quietly. Hunith was already asleep and he was in his room, whispering.

"Oh, no problem. We all decided it'd be nice," Morgana fiddled with the lighter. On. Off. On. Off.

"_Thanks again. How're you holding up_?" Merlin asked.

"Fine. I talked to Uther. He was oblivious. He apologised, cried a bit. He gave me whiskey," Morgana laughed sadly.

Merlin frowned, "_Morgana_?"

"Yeah?" she asked, sniffing due to unshed tears.

"_Merry Christmas_," he said softly.

She wanted to say something like 'I wish you were here', but settled for "Merry Christmas, Merlin."

"_So, how's Gwen? Lancelot_?" he asked cheerily.

Morgana walked over to the window, peering in.

"Dancing, at the moment. Arthur probably wants to tear poor Lancelot's head off," Morgana deadpanned.

_"I'll call them tomorrow,_" Merlin said as a promise, "_I'll let you get back to the part_y."

"Not much fun, to be honest," Morgana said. She had more fun wandering around aimlessly with Merlin.

"_Just have fun, yeah? Merry Christmas, again_," Merlin said, sounding as if he'd hang up.

"You said that already," she smiled.

"_Running out of things to say_," he admitted.

"How's your mum? Freya? Will_?_" Morgana asked. She didn't want to hang up just yet.

He laughed, _"We had the most awkward lunch with our parents today. I thought Freya's dad was going to kill me. He yelled at me for breaking up with her once before._"

"I am so sorry," she chuckled, "I should have called or something to save you from that."

"_You should've, my lady,_" Merlin joked, "_It'd have saved a lot of awkward pauses_."

She wrinkled her nose, "It's not the same without you here, you know. Everyone seems a little bit…off."

"_I wish I were there_," Merlin sighed, "_but I can't leave my mum_."

"I understand. See you soon, Merlin," Morgana said, running a hand through her curly hair.

"_Bye, Morgana. Merry Christmas_," he said.

"Merry Christmas," she said quietly before hanging up.

She went back inside, hung her coat once more, and wandered around the perimeter of the hall. Gwen and Lancelot were still dancing, next to the large Christmas tree. Fairy lights dangled from the ceiling, illuminating them. Morgana felt like taking a picture of them and using it for every Christmas card, ever.

She reached the bar and requested another drink. It was nearing midnight and she already wanted to go home. She downed her drink while Leon sat in the seat next to her.

"Merry Christmas," he greeted her with a grin.

"Merry Christmas. How's life, Leon?" she asked politely. She never disliked Leon. He and Percy were actually decent blokes. It was the other blokes from Avalon Prep she hated.

"Not bad. Percy's been sulking the whole night, though," he sniggered.

"Why?" Morgana asked in confusion.

"His date had to work tonight," Leon grinned.

"Anyone I know?" Morgana asked.

"Gwaine, from the pub," Leon said.

Morgana nearly spit out her drink, then calmed herself. Well that was a couple she'd never have predicted. Good for them.

"My reaction at first, too," Leon smirked, "Percy's always been the quiet type, and Gwaine seems a bit…"

"Flirts with anything that moves," Morgana finished. She noticed this on the occasions he was the bartender. He flirted with everyone: man, woman, old, young.

"Exactly," Leon held a glass and downed it, "I've seen stranger couples, though."

"Most definitely," Morgana nodded.

"Hey, you're friends with Merlin, right?" Leon asked suddenly.

Morgana nodded.

"Can you give me his mobile number?" Leon asked, "he helped me in chemistry and I wanted to thank him since I did well on the final."

"Yeah, sure. You could've asked Arthur, though. They _are_ flatmates," Morgana dug through her purse for her mobile. She found Merlin's number and recited it to Leon, who entered it on his own mobile.

"Thanks, Morgana," he said, leaving.

She shook her head. Good old Merlin, helping everyone and anyone who needed it. It was like he wasn't even a real person and instead he was a do-gooder sent from the great beyond to help others and then take his leave. She frowned. He wouldn't leave anytime soon, if she had anything to say about it.

She took another drink and checked the time. Holy shit was it that late already?

She stood and searched the hall for Gwen and Lancelot. She stopped short, spotting them under the mistletoe, gazing at each other. She mentally cheered. Yes. Kiss, kiss, kiss, she chanted in her head.

Instead, Lancelot took Gwen's hand, and kissed it. Morgana groaned. What the fuck was this, 1500?

She had half the mind to go rant at them when Gwen smiled and kissed Lancelot on the mouth. That's the Gwen she knew and loved.

"What's got you so happy?" Arthur appeared by her side, drink in hand.

She pointed at the pair, currently alternating between staring lovingly at each other and kissing. Arthur turned a shade of green and looked as he was about to vomit on the floor.

"Oh, god. Get a room," he took a swig of his drink.

Morgana patted him on the back, smirking, "You can't date them all, Arthur."

He shrugged away from her, glaring, "Yeah. Whatever. Merry Christmas."

"And a Happy New Year!" she shouted after him, grinning gleefully.

Her mood was most definitely brightened. She'd need it tomorrow for her annual Christmas brunch at the Pendragons. And then later for lunch at Gwen's. Apparently her father wanted to meet her and make sure it was actually Morgana Gwen was staying with, and not some bloke (like Lancelot, for instance). Despite her familial crisis and melt down, Christmas wasn't so bad.

* * *

**So, yeah. Gwen and Lancelot will be together for a while, but Arthur still likes her so there's some trouble on the horizon. Uther will _take care_ of Aggravaine after the holidays, and then second term will start and Merlin will finally be back from visiting his mother. So the plot thickens. Please review.**


	12. And a Happy New Year

**Thank you all so, so much for sticking with this story. This chapter's longer than usual, but the pay-off in the end is well worth it, I think. I had most of this written out, so I figured I may as well post it before work gets too crazy tomorrow.  
**

* * *

**XII  
**

Morgana took a long sip of coffee as she and Gwen sat on their couch, still in pyjamas. Morgana's once perfectly curled hair now hung limp and matted from sleep. Gwen's sleek hairdo was now regulated to a bun at the top of her head. Needless to say, it had been a long night.

They'd gotten back to their flat around two in the morning, Morgana going inside first to give Lancelot and Gwen a bit of alone time. Fifteen minutes later, a dazed and deliriously happy Gwen practically floated inside, much to Morgana's amusement.

Now they sat in their living room, the small, plastic Christmas tree on the coffee table.

"Merry Christmas to us," Gwen quipped tiredly.

"Ugh," was Morgana's response. She had a bit of a hangover, having spent most of the night at the bar.

Gwen laughed and plucked a wrapped box from under the coffee table, handing it to Morgana.

"Aw, Gwen," Morgana grinned and took the box. She too reached under the table, handing a box wrapped with Christmas tree paper to her friend.

"Morgana," she smiled.

"Count of three?" Morgana asked.

"Three," Gwen said.

The two tore into their presents like children, positively giddy. Morgana received a knitted scarf or blue and gray with a matching blue beret. Gwen had received a pair of leather gloves and brightly coloured socks.

"Morgana, I can't accepted this," she said of the gloves. They were leather, and looked and felt quite expensive.

"It's Christmas, you have to accept it," Morgana smiled, "and thank you so much for these. I love it."

"I knitted it," Gwen informed her, sounding a bit embarrassed.

Morgana immediately wrapped the scarf around her neck and placed the hat on her head, "I love it all the more."

She reached forward and gave Gwen a hug, who hugged back.

"Thanks for being my best friend," Morgana mumbled.

"Thanks for being mine," Gwen laughed softly.

The two girls separated, incredibly pleased with their gifts. Morgana checked the time and groaned.

"I have to be at Uther's in an hour," she made a face.

It was still far too early for her to deal with the Pendragons.

"That means I have to be getting home," Gwen sighed.

"I'll be by later, okay?" Morgana said.

Gwen nodded and stood, taking their mugs of coffee. It'd probably best if they got dressed and made themselves look presentable to the world. Morgana seemed to have no such thoughts as she curled into a little ball on the couch.

"Morgana," Gwen frowned, trying not to laugh.

"What?" Morgana asked petulantly.

"You need to get dressed," Gwen said.

"Make me," she fired back.

Gwen shook her head. Her mobile rang and she picked up, grinning.

"_Merry Christmas_!" Merlin's voice rang in her ear.

"Merry Christmas to you, too! How are you?" Gwen asked.

"_Good. Just done with breakfast, actually. Do you mind getting your present after I get back_?" Merlin asked.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Gwen bristled.

"_Too late_," Merlin grinned, "_so I just called to wish you a Merry Christmas. I'll leave you to your Christmas plans._"

"Thanks, Merlin," Gwen said.

Morgana uncurled herself from her seat on the couch, and tilted her head, mouthing 'hi!'.

"Oh, and Morgana says hi," Gwen said quickly.

"_Tell her I say hi, too. Look, my mum's calling me to go to church_," Merlin said. They had missed midnight mass the night before so they were going now.

"Alright. See you soon, yeah?"

"_Yeah. In a week. Bye_," Merlin said.

"Bye," Gwen hung up.

By this point, Morgana had washed the mugs of coffee and was now actually getting dressed. She emerged wearing a knee-length blue sweater dress with thick black tights. Her hair was perfectly curled once more and her smudged makeup was wiped off of her face. All she needed at the moment was under-eye concealer to hide the bags under her eyes and lip balm to ward off the cold. She wrapped the scarf Gwen had made around her neck, and placed the beret on the couch for when she left.

"Aww," Gwen said, grinning.

"You're amazing. Have I told you that?" Morgana asked with a smile.

"Not lately," Gwen said, trying to hide her amusement.

"Well, you're fucking amazing. Never forget it," Morgana smirked at Gwen's little smile.

"Alright. Well I'm going to get dressed," Gwen said as she walked away, "we'll leave together?"

"Yep," Morgana flopped back onto the couch, waiting.

Fifteen minutes later Gwen emerged with her hair in a sleek ponytail. She wore a black blouse topped with a polka dot cardigan, and dark blue jeans. She wore a pair of the socks Morgana had gotten for her (the neon green ones).

Morgana smiled at her choice. They were so weird sometimes. She loved it.

"Ready to go?" Morgana asked. Gwen nodded and they put on their boots (Gwen's were the dark brown pair shined to perfection while Morgana's were her black combat boots that she knew would squeak all over the Pendragon's hall). Morgana decided to wear her houndstooth Burberry coat while Gwen wore her dark blue one. Morgana couldn't help but frown. Maybe she should've bought Gwen a new coat? She shook her head, knowing her friend would see it as a charity instead of as a gift.

They locked the doors and left the building, heading towards their respective family homes.

* * *

Morgana picked at her food, still feeling a bit hungover. Arthur had bags under his eyes, and his hair was sticking out on end.

"Long night?" Morgana smirked.

"Sophia wouldn't leave," he grunted.

Uther glared at his son across the table, "Excuse me?"

"Don't worry, dad. We weren't here. I took her back to the flat," Arthur said reassuringly, unaware that he was about to give Uther a stroke.

Morgana snorted while Uther glared at Arthur.

"You're such a pig," Morgana muttered. And he wanted Gwen. Over her dead body. She would not let Arthur Pendragon hurt her best friend. He may not even intend to, but he tended to grow bored of his girlfriends pretty quickly.

"Oh, and you're one to talk. Tell me, who was it that stayed with you in Ireland?" Arthur smirked.

"Shut up," Morgana glared daggers across the table.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Uther glanced between the two foster siblings.

"Nothing," Morgana shook head quickly.

"No really, Morgana. Please share," Arthur grinned at her discomfort.

"Morgana?" Uther asked, concerned.

Morgana sighed and dropped her fork in annoyance, "It's nothing. Arthur's just being a prat."

Arthur frowned and opened his mouth to say something, before a glare from Uther silenced him.

"It's Christmas. Can we all just have a civil meal?" Uther asked.

"Yeah. Of course," Morgana agreed.

"Sure. Sorry," Arthur said.

* * *

Morgana entered the Smith home with a smile, greeting Tom and Elyan as Gwen made introductions. Tom seemed to visibly relax and Elyan grinned.

"So you're the perfect flatmate?" Elyan said as she was led to a small dining room table for lunch.

"Gwen's the perfect flatmate. I'd go crazy without her," Morgana said, grinning at her best friend.

Lunch was delicious, courtesy of Gwen and Tom, and Morgana and Gwen left together, despite Tom trying to convince his daughter to stay with them the remainder of the holidays. Gwen declined, claiming she wouldn't want to leave Morgana alone, and Morgana corroborated on this excuse.

* * *

"I don't think I could stay with them the rest of the holidays," Gwen sighed, curling up on the couch with some tea in hand.

"They're great, though," Morgana said, queuing up an episode of _Doctor Who_. They'd finally gotten to the end of series four, and needed to watch the David Tennant specials.

"I know. It's just that they treat me like a child," Gwen wrinkled her nose.

"Families, huh?" Morgana asked sadly. What she'd give for her parents fretting over her, even just one of them. She knew Gwen had lost her mum long ago, so they bonded over their dead parents one night after Gwen knew that she was Uther's ward.

"Yeah," Gwen sighed, settling in to watch the episode.

Just as the opening credits ended, the buzzer signalling a visitor from downstairs sounded.

"Are we expecting anyone?" Morgana asked.

Gwen shook her head. Morgana stood and hit the intercom.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Morgana, it's me," came a feminine voice.

"I'll buzz you in," Morgana grinned.

"Who is it?" Gwen asked as Morgana stood by the door like a kid waiting for a pony ride.

"My sister. Well, half-sister. I hadn't been able to get a hold of her, but I guess she was on her way," Morgana smiled brightly.

The doorbell rang and Morgana opened it.

"Dearest sister!" Morgause hugged Morgana enthusiastically.

"Hey, Morgause," Morgana grinned.

The sisters parted, and Morgana and Morgause took in the other's appearance. Morgause looked the same as always. Petite, with long blonde waves, and perfect cheekbones and hazel eyes.

"How are you?" Morgana asked.

"Wonderful. Cendred and I were travelling in eastern Europe, you know," Morgause said.

Morgana closed the door behind them and Morgause shed her coat and gloves. Gwen stood, and Morgause stepped forward to shake her hand.

"You must be Gwen," Morgause greeted.

"Yes. Hello," Gwen nodded.

"It's so nice to meet my sister's best friend," Morgause smiled at Gwen.

"It's no nice to meet my best friend's sister," Gwen said, furrowing her brow.

"How are you, sis?" Morgause asked Morgana.

"It's settled. I took care of it," Morgana smiled tensely. Gwen didn't know about her little murder investigation.

"And Uther?"

"Had no idea. I'll explain later," Morgana said quietly.

"Would you care for some tea?" Gwen asked.

"If it's not too much trouble," Morgause smiled quickly.

"Not at all," Gwen moved to the kitchen to fill the kettle.

"We're in the middle of _Doctor Who_, if you'd like to join us," Morgana said.

"You know me well," the twenty-five year old sat down on the couch.

"I've missed you," Morgana said quietly. If Morgause had been here, she wouldn't have felt so alone. But Morgause had her own life now, her own job, her own fiancé, her own house.

"Me too," Morgause ruffled Morgana's hair, earning a patented Lefay glare.

Gwen returned with tea for all of them, and they spent the better part of an hour watching the episode until Morgause's mobile rang. It was Cendred, who was waiting downstairs. With a sigh, Morgause stood and gathered her coat and gloves.

"How long are you going to be in town?" Morgana asked, standing by the door.

"At least until after New Years. Cendred and I were planning on heading towards the South Bank for the fireworks, if you two are interested," Morgause said with a soft smile.

Morgana turned to Gwen, who shrugged and nodded in agreement.

"We'll be there," Morgana said.

"Excellent. Bye," Morgause kissed Morgana on the forehead and left.

"Fireworks for New Year, not bad," Gwen said, "do you mind-"

"We'll invite Lancelot, don't worry," Morgana grinned, reading her friend's mind.

"Great," Gwen smiled.

"Now on with the _Who_," Morgana jumped onto the couch.

* * *

It was finally New Year's Eve, and Arthur was still asleep on the couch. He'd been there since the night before, and Sophia had left long ago. Clothes were strewn about, and dishes from a week before were left in the sink.

The door clicked open and someone walked in, tossing his bag on the ground.

"This is what I get to come home to?" Merlin grumbled. He had taken the train out of Belfast this morning, since classes started just two days after the first of January. It was nearing one in the afternoon, and Arthur was face down on the couch, drooling, more likely than not.

He shook Arthur, trying to wake him.

"Rise and shine," Merlin said, moving toward the window to open the blinds.

Arthur squinted and turned over, confused.

"Merlin! You're back," Arthur greeted.

"No, I'm still there," Merlin rolled his eyes.

Arthur sat up blearily, vaguely recalling that Morgana said the same thing upon her return. They most definitely shared a brain. Buggers.

"What's got your pants in a twist?" Arthur asked.

"This place is a mess!" Merlin raised his arms in exasperation.

"It's not that bad," Arthur scratched the back of his neck.

"I get that you're used to maids and whatever, but I am not your servant," Merlin took his bag and headed towards the bedroom.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," Arthur warned.

"Why not?" Merlin stopped dead in his tracks.

"Sophia, erm, got a little creative with the syrup and whipped cream in the fridge," he said, embarrassed.

Merlin felt sick. He turned around and headed back to the front door.

"Where're you going?" Arthur asked.

"I'll stay with Lancelot until you clean up a bit. His flatmate's on holiday with his family, anyway," Merlin scowled, leaving a confused Arthur behind.

* * *

"Thanks so much for letting me stay. And use your shower," Merlin said, buttoning up a dark blue check shirt.

"No problem. I can't believe Arthur left the flat like that," Lancelot said, frowning.

"Well, believe it," Merlin scowled once more. "So what are our New Year plans?"

"Eh, I'm going with Gwen to the South Bank after dinner. Well, Gwen, Morgana, and Morgana's sister and fiancé," Lancelot clarified. "Come along."

"I wasn't invited," Merlin wrinkled his nose.

"That's because we didn't know you were coming back today. Come with us," Lancelot said, smiling.

"Sure, why not?" Merlin grinned.

* * *

Since they were going to be standing out in the fucking cold to watch fireworks, Morgana thought it would be best to dress for the weather. She wore a black camisole, and over it a deep blue button-down jumper, paired with black jeans and her go-to boots, along with the scarf and hat Gwen had given her. Gwen wore a white and pink striped jumper and blue jeans with her brown boots, all topped off with a grey wool hat and scarf. Morgana turned to her favourite cape-like red coat once more, and Gwen reached for her purple coat.

They were quite predictable in their fashion choices, but it made things a hell of a lot easier on them to limit their wardrobes to basics and necessities (that looked nice, of course).

They locked the doors and went downstairs, to be greeted by Morgause and Cendred. Morgana thought Cendred and Gwaine could be long lost brothers, they looked so much alike. Except there was a harder look to Cendred that Gwaine just didn't have.

They sat in the car and reached the restaurant on the opposite side of where the fireworks would be set off. The group shuffled out of the car, Morgana nearly losing her footing on the pavement due to the rain/snow/slush that had deposited itself there earlier in the day.

Gwen grabbed her arm and steadied her, and Morgana thanked her with a grin. They reached the front of the restaurant where Lancelot stood with a tall man. Morgana raised a brow, then immediately recognised the figure in the black coat and baggy jeans.

"Merlin!" Morgana shouted, causing him to look up. He smiled and waved at the group.

Introductions were made, and Morgause stared between Merlin and Morgana, who were smiling like fools, and Gwen and Lancelot, who had the same stupid grins on their faces. The difference with the latter couple was that they had greeted each other with a quick kiss on the lips. Morgana and Merlin merely looked at each other, smiled, then looked away. She looked to Cendred, who shrugged. He would never understand young love. He and Morgause had it easy, immediately falling for each other years ago while he was just a junior photographer for National Geographic and Morgause was a university student on study abroad.

They went inside and were led to a table by the hostess. Gwen had worried that they (she) would be under-dressed, but was relieved to find most had dressed for the weather. It seemed everyone had the same idea: go watch the fireworks outside.

They sat around the table after shedding their wintry gear. Morgana and Gwen sat next to each other, Merlin and Lancelot across from them. Morgause and Cendred sat at the heads of the table opposite one another. Merlin apologised to his friends for not having their presents with him, and he was shushed by all three, who said it could wait.

"So, champagne?" Cendred asked, browsing through the menu.

"Don't you think it's a little too early for that?" Morgause raised a brow.

"Never to early to celebrate, love," Cendred said, earning a grin from Morgause and a snort from Morgana.

Cendred looked at Morgana, "Problem?"

"No. It's just I'm surrounded by lovey-dovey couples, and it's already hilarious before we've even had our appetizers," Morgana smirked.

Gwen and Lancelot blushed, and Merlin chuckled.

"I know exactly how you feel," Merlin said. He had been introduced to Freya's almost-but-not-really boyfriend Steve just two days ago. He was surprised he didn't have the urge to rip the guy's head off.

"We're not that bad," Morgause bristled, slightly insulted.

"It's okay, sis. You're engaged, you're happy," Morgana smiled, "congrats, by the way. I don't think I ever congratulated you both, just Morgause."

"Oh, wow, congratulations," Gwen grinned brightly, with Lancelot and Merlin also murmuring congratulations.

"Thanks," Cendred smiled slightly, "now if only Morgause will pick a date."

Morgause narrowed her eyes, "We're always travelling. It's not always so simple."

"Well, we're here now. Why not?" Cendred asked.

"We can't get married with a week's notice! These things take time, planning," Morgause spluttered.

"Morgause, we've been engaged for a year," Cendred scowled.

"So what's a few more months? Wouldn't a summer wedding in the country be nice?" Morgause's eyes flashed in annoyance.

The scowl from Cendred's face faded, and he nodded, "That does sound nice."

"So it's settled," Morgause grinned, "now order the champagne, we've got to celebrate."

She turned to her sister, "You'll be my maid of honour, of course?"

"I'd be severely offended if you didn't ask," Morgana said agreeably.

Dinner went on like that, with smatterings of light conversation and the younger dinner guests discussing their schedules for the upcoming term, and Merlin grumbling about Arthur and how he had to stay with Lancelot.

"Sounds like Arthur," Morgana and Morgause snorted at the same time.

"At least you won't be alone," Gwen tried to smile at Lancelot, though she seemed annoyed.

"Yeah, it's great having Merlin around," Lancelot grinned at his friend next to him, oblivious.

Morgana had to hide a smirk. She looked at Merlin across the table and tilted her head at Gwen and Lancelot. He rolled his eyes and nodded, as an 'I know, duh."

The meal continued and they exited the restaurant after dessert, at an hour until midnight.

The group made their way to a perfect spot to watch the fireworks, with Morgana and Merlin trailing behind.

"So, what's the plan?" Merlin whispered. Of course, Morgana was the schemer.

"It's obvious Gwen wants some alone time with Lancelot, but you had to go and crash on his couch," Morgana sent him a glare.

"Blame Arthur," he frowned, "I am not spending the night there. Especially tonight."

He shuddered upon the knowledge that Arthur and Sophia would be there, he was sure of that.

"Stay with me," Morgana shrugged. Her eyes widened when she realised it sounded like she was offering more than a place to stay.

"What?" Merlin nearly stopped walking.

"I can make up the couch," Morgana tried to cover up her little mistake.

"I don't know. We already slept in the same bed once before," Merlin smirked, making Morgana blush.

"It was a huge bed, with plenty of room. The bed in the flat's tiny," Morgana quickened her pace.

"Yet you still managed to attach your limbs to mine," Merlin laughed.

"Fuck off," Morgana scowled.

"You tease me all the time, why can't I tease you?" Merlin frowned. She was so defensive and he wanted to know why.

"Because, one day I'm going to think you're serious," Morgana tried to laugh.

"What's so bad about that?" Merlin asked in confusion. He'd just tell her he was joking, and everything would be fine.

"I'll take you up on the offer, and this," she pointed between them, "friendship we've got, will be ruined."

"We're friends, Morgana, nothing more," Merlin said assuredly, looking a bit hurt. What was wrong with him that it seemed Freya was the only woman who'd give him a chance?

"Right," Morgana nodded and looked at the ground, sniffing.

"Morgana?" Merlin looked at her. She looked up, trying to smile, and failed.

"Yeah?" she bit her lip.

"I'll stay on the couch so Gwen and Lancelot get some one on one time, don't worry," Merlin smiled.

They reached the North Bank, and faced the South Bank. A large crowd had already assembled, shivering in the bitter night cold, but eagerly anticipating the fireworks show to ring in the New Year.

So they waited in the cold, snuggled up in their coats and scarves and gloves and mittens. Cendred stood behind Morgause, his arms wrapped around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. She was smiling, and Morgana thought that was the happiest she'd ever seen her sister.

Lancelot and Gwen stood next to each other, arms linked as they looked at the sky.

Merlin and Morgana stood side by side, gloved fingers at their sides. Time passed, and it was soon to be midnight. Heh, Midnight. Like the episode with Jethro. Morgana snuck a glance at Merlin, and she felt her heart clench. A clean-shaven Merlin did look a lot like Jethro. Oh, damn, she had called Jethro hot. But Merlin's hair was wavy and he was most definitely not emo so that was good. Right. All was well.

Except then he looked at her questioningly and held his hand out and she took it without thinking, intertwining their fingers. He smiled, and she smiled.

The countdown started. _10, 9, 8, 7_

"Hey, Morgana?" Merlin said as quietly as he could to still be heard above the ruckus.

_6, 5, 4, 3_

"Yeah?"

_2, 1_

"Happy New Year," Merlin grinned. Fireworks started to go off in the distance, blinding everyone and lighting the London sky.

"Happy New Year," she smiled, taking in the scene around her.

Morgause and Cendred were stealing kisses, while Gwen and Lancelot were kissing chastely.

Morgana looked at Merlin, taking in his appearance. Messy, wavy hair. Perfect cheekbones. Bright blue eyes. Cheeks pink from the cold. Pouty pink lips. She tore her eyes away from him and gazed at the stars.

"You know what they say," Merlin said softly.

"What?" Morgana asked.

"How you spend New Years is how you'll spend the rest of the year," he offered a half-smile.

She smiled softly and squeezed Merlin's hand. Watching the stars in the night sky as fireworks exploded, standing right next to Merlin, hands entwined, seemed like a pretty fantastic way to spend the rest of the year.

"Good," she nodded.

"Yeah?" Merlin asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," she chanced looking at him, lips quirking into another smile.

* * *

Lancelot and Gwen were dropped off at Lancelot's flat, with Morgana making telling them to stay safe as they rode in the back of the car that Cendred had hired.

Morgana dragged Merlin out of the car in front of her building, waving farewell to her sister and Cendred, promising to stop by sometime before the term started.

The two friends practically ran up the stairs, tipsy, but not yet flat-out drunk. Morgana knew how to remedy this. Once inside, they shed their outerwear and shoes, and Morgana unbuttoned her jumper and rolled up her sleeves, as it was warm in the flat.

Merlin sat down on the couch while Morgana set a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses on the coffee table. She took out her ipod and set it on the dock she and Gwen kept near the kitchen, and turned up the music.

"Happy New Year!" Morgana cheered, clinking her glass with Merlin's.

"Happy New Year!" Merlin said, taking a shot.

"Yeah," she took a shot herself, nearly coughing.

"You okay?" Merlin asked.

"Fine. Just wondering how much of these we're going to need before Gwen gets back," she joked.

"Another bottle, at least," Merlin said with false seriousness.

"So be it," she jumped off of the couch and returned with a bottle of champagne and two new glasses, just for a New Years celebration.

"Where do you get all this alcohol from?" Merlin asked, taking another shot.

"Prime Minister's ward, remember?" she grinned.

"How are you dealing with that, anyway?" Merlin asked seriously.

Morgana sighed and took a shot, "Uther had no idea and apologised, almost cried. It was all Aggravaine. I'd rather not think about that right now."

"Right. Sorry," Merlin said, staring at the coffee table.

"Thanks for asking, though," Morgana smiled a bit, before her face turned serious once more.

Merlin nodded, then burst out into a grin, "I so didn't see Gwen and Lancelot as the type to…"

"Shag like rabbits?" Morgana finished, cackling with laughter. She was happy for them, she really was. Part of her even doubted that they were actually shagging.

"They're probably sitting there, talking about their feelings, anyway," Merlin snorted, trying not to laugh.

"For hours on end," Morgana giggled.

"Drinking a bit," Merlin continued, laughing.

"Snuggling on the couch," Morgana smiled, "man they're so boring."

"Right?" Merlin snorted once more.

"They need to wreck some shit. Cause some havoc," Morgana said enthusiastically.

"Like we are right now?" Merlin deadpanned.

"Yeah, we're badass," Morgana said.

"We're sitting here, drinking and mocking our friends. We're such badasses," Merlin rolled his eyes.

Morgana pouted and realised that Merlin was right. She needed a cigarette, but she'd finished her last pack and had resolved to quit for good. She turned to Merlin, and he immediately shook his head.

"I finished my last pack two days ago. So no," he said immediately.

She frowned, and threw the pillow next to her at him.

"Real mature," he tossed it back.

She stuck her tongue out and poured herself a glass of champagne. She shrugged off her jumper, leaving her in a tank top, and Merlin had rolled up the sleeves of his own shirt.

Morgana stood and turned the heat on the radiator off. A little longer in that heat and they'd be disgustingly sweaty.

She sat back down, curling her legs underneath her. Merlin took a sip of champagne, and closed his eyes.

"Don't you fall asleep on me now," Morgana punched his arm lightly.

Merlin opened one eye, "It's nearly three in the morning."

"We've been awake longer than that," she smirked.

An upbeat Of Monsters and Men song started up, and Morgana stood.

"I don't like walking around this old and empty house," Morgana sang along.

"So hold my hand I'll walk with you my dear," Merlin stood as well, offering his hand.

"The stairs creak as I sleep, it's keeping me awake," Morgana continued.

Merlin chuckled and rested his hands on her waist. She placed her hands on his shoulders and they danced around the living room.

"We're really bad at this," Morgana laughed. Merlin nodded in agreement, wincing.

"Sorry," she cringed upon stepping on his feet. At least they weren't wearing shoes.

"I'll just assume we'd be better at this when not drunk," Merlin shrugged.

"That's a fantastic assumption," Morgana said as Merlin twirled her around, then dipped her.

She stood once more, leaning a bit too far, toppling over onto Merlin, onto the floor. Their faces were centimetres apart, both of them panting and breathless because of their terrible dancing. Morgana's heart beat wildly in her chest (because of the dancing, it was the dancing, of course). Merlin licked his lips and was about to say something when Morgana beat him to the punch.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch," she murmured, finally able to run her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them. Blue met green and she licked her lips, burying her fingers into his hair.

"Then where?" he croaked.

She smiled and lowered her head, closing the distance between them. Merlin remained still, unable to move. Morgana pulled away, sitting on his lap. He propped himself up on his elbows, dazed.

"I am so sorry, Merlin." She had just effectively ruined their friendship.

Before she had a chance to apologise again, he leaned forward, crashing his lips on hers.

* * *

** Kissing. There'll be more of that in the next chapter, as a continuation of this scene. Please review, I really appreciate feedback.  
**


	13. It's Later

**Thank you all so much for the feedback and reviews. The fluff continues here, and I hope it's not too graphic. The original version was pretty dirty, but I didn't want to change this to an 'M' rating, so I cleaned it up.  
**

* * *

**XIII**

His lips crashed onto hers, knocking her back onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hands tickling his hair. Merlin's mouth was warm, and he tasted like the vodka and champagne they had just consumed. Morgana parted her mouth, allowing his tongue entrance. His tongue slid over her tongue ring. So he finally got himself acquainted with it after all. Good. This was good. His hands remained rooted at her waist, as if he were afraid to offend her in some way. She smiled through the kiss, tugging at his hair.

He groaned, pressing himself closer to her. His hands slid down to her hips and back up to her waist, not daring to go any higher or lower.

Merlin broke the kiss, looking down at her with an unreadable expression.

"Why'd you stop?" she mumbled in annoyance.

"What are we doing?" he asked.

"I thought it was obvious," Morgana smirked.

Merlin rolled off of Morgana, standing. He offered his hand and she reluctantly took it. Music still blared in the background and she stood, frowning.

"What's wrong?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"This is wrong. We're both blindingly drunk and you'll regret this in the morning," Merlin ran a hand through his hair.

"It's technically morning," Morgana pointed out. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Besides, I want you, Merlin," she whispered into his ear. She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, his jaw, and down to his neck.

"Morgana," he closed his eyes, "where does that leave us?"

If this, whatever it was, continued, they wouldn't be just friends anymore. What were they, then? Friends with benefits? Dating?

"We'll figure it out," Morgana pulled away from his neck and kissed his lips.

"Yeah?" he asked sceptically, running his hands down her waist.

"Yeah," she grinned.

"So you won't mind if I do this?" he asked, sliding his hands to her bum, squeezing it.

She smirked and kissed him hard on the mouth. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he held onto her, backing her against the wall. She groaned at the contact, and he murmured apologies between kisses.

"Shut up," she said, kissing him once more.

They parted to take a breath, and his lips trailed down to her neck. She moaned, panting. He was trying to kill her, wasn't he?

"Fuck," she grunted. He grazed his thumb over her chest.

"What was that?" Merlin asked, smirking.

"Fuck me," she panted.

"Maybe later," he said with a smirk.

"Now," she demanded, green eyes flashing.

"Are you sure?" Merlin asked.

She nodded. He kissed her once more and she grinned. The last time she'd been in a situation like this was two summers ago in Italy. She told no one but Nimueh about that incident. She had expressed how disappointed she had been and how she had thought sex would be better, and Nimueh suggested that she may in fact be gay. Then again, how many virgins genuinely enjoyed their first time?

This was so much better. Merlin's hands slid under her shirt, grazing the soft flesh of her stomach. She arched her back, leaning her head against the wall. His mouth resumed its attack on her neck, and she knew it would leave a mark. He knew exactly what he was doing and she suddenly grew angry, wondering if this was how he had touched Freya. The two had been together for years, after all. She shook the jealousy away. Merlin was with her now, not Freya. Freya was far, far away.

"Merlin," she purred in a breathy voice. She most certainly did not sound like herself.

"Morgana," he stopped kissing her neck.

"Clothes. Too many," she mumbled. She couldn't form coherent sentences anymore. What was he doing to her? It's as if she were under some spell.

He moved away from the wall, letting her stand again. Her legs were already sore and his cheeks were flushed. She assumed she looked the same.

She unbuttoned his shirt quickly, tossing it aside and, scowled in annoyance upon seeing an undershirt. Damned cold. He pulled off his shirt, dropping it to the ground. Pale chest, back, and arms, feathered with dark hair, surprisingly muscular. Her brain would soon turn to mush. Stupid Merlin.

She tugged off her own shirt, leaving her in her most unsexy bra. It was plain and black. How was she supposed to have known she and Merlin would be on each other tonight?

His eyes drank her in, and she scratched her arm awkwardly. Well, this went from hot and heavy to all sorts of uncomfortable quickly.

"So," Merlin said, "are you absolutely sure?"

He looked so concerned for her, and she knew he really was. He didn't want her to make a mistake.

The awkwardness disappeared instantly. She launched herself at him, kissing him roughly. They fell onto the couch, Morgana on top of him, legs straddling him. She ran her hands over his chest and stomach, taking in his form, memorising it. She kissed his neck, leaving a mark the same way he left a mark on her. His hands slid up and down her back, then back up, sliding under the hook of her bra.

"Merlin," she murmured, "let's take this into my room."

He nodded and she moved off of him. They both stood and he scooped her into his arms.

They stumbled into her and Gwen's room, shutting the door behind them, the music in the main room of the flat blaring loudly.

* * *

Gwen walked into the flat, smile on her face. She and Lancelot had spent the entire night and most of the morning sitting in his living room, talking over mugs of tea. They had talked about their hopes, dreams, and aspirations. She grinned just thinking about it.

She looked around her flat, confused. Clothes were strewn all about, and she knew she and Morgana rarely left a mess. The ipod dock was still playing music, but she could hear grunts and moans from the bedroom.

Her eyes widened. Merlin had gone home with Morgana. She tried not to laugh. She crept over to the door, pressing her ear against it.

More grunts, moans, and shouts. She heard Morgana swearing up a storm, but that wasn't unusual. Merlin's voice interrupted, yelling in a hoarse, rough voice. Gwen turned red. She practically ran back to the front door, leaving once more.

All she had wanted was to take a shower and change into different clothes. Maybe take a nap, and talk to Morgana about Lancelot. Except she couldn't do either of those things.

Once she was a safe distance away from the flat, she grinned. Finally.

* * *

Morgana's head rested on Merlin's chest. Merlin's arm was wrapped around her waist. Her blanket covered them haphazardly, with bits of flesh still visible.

She sighed contentedly, grinning widely.

"That was," she breathed.

"Yeah," Merlin nodded, matching her grin.

"So, care for some breakfast? Or lunch?" Morgana glanced at the clock. They had taken a small nap earlier, but she had woken him up with kisses, making it difficult to leave the cramped bed.

"That would require moving, wouldn't it?" he asked.

"Normally, yes," she snorted.

"Nah, I'm good," Merlin said, satisfied.

She chuckled. They _had_ gone at it for quite a while, and now she was hungry. She slid off of her bed, much to Merlin's disappointment.

"Get back here," he frowned.

"I'm hungry," she said, "let me get my energy up and I'll be back," she smirked.

"That a promise?" he asked.

"Of course," she opened her wardrobe and pulled on a short satin dressing gown. She tied the belt loosely around her waist and kissed Merlin on the lips before padding into the kitchen.

She was surprised to see that Gwen had yet to return. She smiled. Obviously her flatmate had a wonderful time at Lancelot's.

Morgana popped some bread into the toaster and turned off the ipod dock. They'd accidentally left it on all night, and the ipod was probably on the verge of death by now.

She placed the toast onto a plate and went back into the bedroom to find Merlin searching for his clothes, in the nude. She smiled.

"Your pants must be around here somewhere," she quipped.

He practically yelped, turned around, and tried to cover himself with a blanket. Morgana laughed.

"I've seen all of you, Merlin. Stop being so modest," she placed the plate of toast on the dresser, and moved closer to him.

She took his hand and led him back to her bed, pushing him gently.

"Toast? Really?" Merlin raised a brow.

"I can't cook," Morgana shrugged.

"Let me find my clothes, and I'll make something," Merlin grunted in annoyance. If she wanted food, she may as well have a decent meal.

"You don't get your clothes back. I'm just going to keep you here. Naked forever," she smirked.

"Well Gwen's going to get an eyeful," he tried to hide under another blanket.

Morgana smirked, "Gwen didn't come home at all. So I think we're safe."

Merlin crossed his arms over his chest and Morgana shook her head in amusement.

"Are you that eager to get dressed and leave?" she asked.

He sighed, "Of course not. I just want actual food."

"Just a little longer and we'll go to a café, alright?" Morgana bit her lip. She wasn't ready to share Merlin with the world yet.

"We need to talk, Morgana," Merlin said gently, licking his lips in nervousness.

"I know," she nodded slightly.

"Well?" he asked. It was up to her. It really was. He wanted her, that much was obvious. Apparently, she wanted him, too, but she was always so distant he just needed her reassurance.

"I want you. I want to be with you," she said with a small smile.

"Really?" he asked.

She nodded, then frowned a bit, "But, can we just not tell anyone yet? I want it to be just us. I don't want Arthur or Morgause or Uther to get involved in this."

"Whatever you want. I don't mind," Merlin wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her quickly.

"Why are you so perfect?" she asked.

He smirked and rubbed her shoulder before sliding his hand down to her belt. He undid it, pushing the dressing gown aside.

"Insatiable appetite you have there," she smirked back.

"Says the woman who wouldn't let me sleep," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"I was only half-joking about keeping you here naked, you know," Morgana stuck her tongue out teasingly.

Merlin kissed her and she climbed into his lap, the toast forgotten.

* * *

Gwen took a sip of tea, still in her clothing from the night before. She really didn't want to walk in on Merlin and Morgana, as happy as she was for them. It was just an image she didn't need to see.

She checked her mobile, surprised to see a missed message from Morgana. She read it, and shook her head. It read 'Where are you?'.

The bell of the café chimed, and Gwen looked up to find Merlin and Morgana walking in together. She bit back a smirk. They waved to her and pulled up chairs to sit at her table. She noticed Morgana had changed her clothes as she shed her coat, but Merlin was stuck from the clothes he had last night.

"So, you never came home," Morgana wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I did, actually," Gwen tried not to laugh as Morgana's and Merlin's eyes widened simultaneously, "but I was afraid to know just what you were up to."

"Oh my God," Morgana mumbled. Merlin turned red.

"I'm really happy for you. I just really wanted to get a change of clothes," Gwen shook her head.

"We are so sorry," Morgana cringed, "and could you please keep this quiet?"

"Wait. So you're not together?" Gwen frowned.

"We are, we just want to keep it to ourselves for now," Merlin answered.

"Mostly kept from the knowledge of my sister and the Pendragons," Morgana sighed. Morgause wasn't much of an issue as she was leaving in a few days, but Uther and Arthur tended to meddle in her personal life more than she'd like. The fact that Merlin was Arthur's flatmate made it that much worse.

"I understand," Gwen nodded, taking her purse from the chair, "and now I need to shower."

"Bye, Gwen. Sorry again," Morgana wrinkled her nose.

Gwen left, leaving the pair alone.

Merlin smiled and Morgana shook her head, trying not to smile. She licked her lips, and his eyes remained trained on her mouth.

"I need to go get my stuff from Lancelot's. Maybe change before I head back to my flat. Then go see Gaius," he said, clearing his throat.

"Oh," Morgana leaned forward, pressing her chest against the table, "I had other plans for us."

"You can't be serious," Merlin's eyes widened.

Morgana nodded, pouting, "Come on, Merlin."

"You're going to kill me. No," he shook his head.

She leaned back in her chair, laughing, "Go do what you need to do. I need to head over to Morgause's anyway. And I have an obligatory dinner at Uther's tonight. But afterwards…" she winked.

"Sounds like a plan," Merlin grinned.

* * *

Arthur was extremely hung over. He was extremely hung over and extremely tired. He wasn't entirely sure why he and Sophia went to the flat together, but they did. After Merlin had gotten upset, he had cleaned up (well, he called some maids to clean up, on New Year's Eve, and paid extra).

Now the flat was clean, Sophia was gone, and he felt like he'd been hit by a truck. He winced when the door slammed shut and Merlin waltzed in.

"I see you've cleaned up," Merlin grinned, in an incredibly good mood.

"Happy New Year to you, too," Arthur groaned.

"Happy New Year," Merlin chirped brightly, taking his bag to their room.

"What's got you in such a good mood. Don't tell me some poor girl had to kiss you at midnight," Arthur made a face of disgust.

"No," Merlin's smile faded, "I did however manage to get some sleep."

"Where were you, anyway?" Arthur asked.

"Stayed with Lancelot," Merlin lied. Well, it was almost the truth.

"And was Gwen there?" Arthur asked tersely.

"Her and Morgana were at dinner with us and Morgause, yeah," Merlin shrugged.

"So you met the wicked witch of the north?" Arthur grimaced.

"Morgause?" Merlin asked, confused.

"Yes, Morgause. She's terrible," Arthur shuddered.

"She was pretty nice the entire time. Maybe she just hates clotpoles," Merlin quipped cheekily.

"Shut up," Arthur curled himself up on the couch, pouting.

"Hang over?" Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded.

"Just take some aspirin and drink a lot of water," Merlin suggested.

"How come you aren't dying of a headache? You drink a lot," Arthur peered at him suspiciously.

"Not this time," Merlin lied. Again. He really hated lying, but it was only temporary.

"Whatever," Arthur shrugged.

Merlin walked into their room, took a change of clothes and his towel, and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. Morgana had taken one while he made them a bite to eat earlier.

Once finished, he took his wallet and headed for the door.

"What's that on your neck?" Arthur squinted at the mark Morgana had left.

"Nicked myself shaving," another lie flew out of his mouth.

Arthur nodded, seemingly buying it.

"I'll be at Gaius's," Merlin said.

"Later," Arthur said. Finally, he was alone to suffer with his head ache again.

* * *

Morgana frowned at dinner. Arthur was hung over (again) and she was itching to get back to campus. She had spent an hour at Morgause's flat in the city, the one she usually abandoned to go travelling with Cendred. There, Morgause offered to have Morgana rent it from her while she was away, as it was a lovely flat that should be used. Morgana had to think that one over. She didn't want to leave Gwen, but then again, she wanted a place for her and Merlin to be alone. Morgana told her she'd get back to her in a few days with a decision.

Morgana now wanted to go find Merlin and spend some time with him, but couldn't because they were both busy: her with dinner, and him with helping Gaius out.

She stabbed at the steak with her fork.

"Are you all right?" Uther asked, taking a sip of wine.

"Fine," Morgana replied with a tense smile.

"She's just upset no one wanted to kiss her at midnight," Arthur joked.

Morgana glared at him, and Uther shook his head.

"How's Morgause?" Uther changed the topic.

"Good. Her and Cendred finally decided on a summer wedding," she offered. He didn't need to know that Morgause was offering her her own place, so she could finally move out from under Uther's thumb.

"Excellent. I'm sure they'll be happy," Uther smiled and turned back to his meal.

"I don't understand how he puts up with her. She's heinous," Arthur made a face.

"Shut up," Morgana dropped her fork, "she's my sister. And they're in love."

"Half sister," Arthur mumbled.

"She's still my sister. It doesn't matter that we have different fathers," Morgana scowled.

"Sorry," he apologised.

"Whatever," she shrugged.

"Can't we ever just have a nice, quiet dinner?" Uther asked.

"We all want nice things, Uther," Morgana said in a monotone voice.

* * *

Gwen chewed on some crisps, staring at the telly. She barely seemed to notice Lancelot's arm wrapped around her shoulder or the fact that Merlin and Morgana had disappeared from sight.

"Gwen?" Lancelot asked.

"Yeah?" she looked at him. She smiled, biting her lip. Lancelot squeezed her shoulder.

"Our friends seem to have left us," he said with a soft smile.

"Oh, geeze," she rolled her eyes. She looked around the room, and stood. She walked over to the bedroom and knocked on the door. She opened it to find no one there.

"They probably found a place to snog," Lancelot said bluntly. Morgana had agreed to let Lancelot know, as he was Merlin's best friend, and he knew how to keep a secret.

Gwen shook her head, "Of course they did."

She sat back down and leaned into Lancelot's hold. This was nice, just sitting together for a quiet night in. Classes would resume soon, and they'd all be so incredibly busy, that she just wanted to enjoy her time with Lancelot and her friends before everything got crazy. Merlin had brought presents with him, and opened giftbags sat deserted around the floor. He had gotten Morgana a journal (for her dreams, really, but no one needed to know of her nightmares/visions), Lancelot had received a new scarf, and Gwen a new knit hat. He had in turn received socks, a hat, a scarf, and a pair of gloves. Gwen should have known her friends would disappear as soon as presents were exchanged.

* * *

They had decided to take a walk and enjoy the quiet of the nearly deserted campus. Their walk had turned into Morgana being pushed up against a tree, Merlin's lips on hers.

"We should head back," Merlin said, running a hand through her hair. It was getting late, and it was getting cold. They were warm now in their coats, but he didn't want them to get sick, especially two days before classes were to start.

"We could tell Gwen to go with Lancelot," Morgana suggested.

She smirked and flicked her eyes to his jeans.

"No, none of that," Merlin shook his head. It was too much already, far too much. He would love to shag her senseless every second, but he couldn't. This was still too new and they needed to tread carefully.

"Such a gentleman," Morgana shook her head.

"Yeah, well," Merlin shrugged.

"It's very attractive," she said.

"So I should hold out all the time?" Merlin frowned. He did not like the sound of that.

"You. Naked. My bed. Always," she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"What about food? Needing the toilet? Showering?" Merlin asked as they walked down the street.

"I'll feed you. You can go to the toilet alone. And I'll help you with your showers," she smirked, taking his arm.

"You're starting to scare me," he said in a low voice.

Morgana laughed, "Relax. You should know when I'm joking by now."

"You're a difficult person to figure out," Merlin said honestly.

"Yet you're taking the time to try. I really appreciate that," Morgana looked up at him with a shy smile.

"It's worth it," he smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. She leaned closer to him, wrapping her arm around his waist.

* * *

_Silk sheets, a large bed, white flesh, and writhing bodies. She could feel his hands and breath on her, so incredibly familiar. She moaned, scratching her nails down his pale back. His lips were on her neck, trailing down to her breast. She tugged on his hair and he looked up, blue eyes flashing gold._

Morgana sat up, panting. What the hell was that? Was that her and Merlin? She shook her head, dazed. It wasn't a nightmare, because it wasn't particularly scary. It was her. And Merlin. Shagging. He looked different, though. His cheekbones were more prominent (as if that were possible) and he seemed to be a bit scrawnier, and there was a sort of lust in his eyes she hadn't seen in real life. She shook her head, and chalked it up to a dirty dream. Yes, that was it. Just a dirty dream.

* * *

Morgana nearly spit out her morning coffee upon reading the main article on BBC's webiste. She was seated on the couch, laptop open in front of her, and mug of coffee in her hand.

HEAD OF CAMELOT CO. OUSTED, HELD ON MURDER CHARGES

Morgana scanned the article, eyes widening. Aggravaine had been kicked out of the company, and Uther Pendragon, Prime Minister, was the reason anyone had suspected him of dealing with dangerous nuclear substances and the murder of journalist Gorlois Lefay and his wife, socialite Vivienne Dulac.

She grinned. Justice, at last. Now if only he'd be tried and sentenced to prison. Morgana shut her laptop closed and returned to her coffee.

Gwen emerged from the bathroom, towel wrapped around her head. They both wore track pants and plain shirts, as they planned to stay home and do nothing the last day before they had to go back to class.

"What's got you so happy? Did Merlin pop in for breakfast?" Gwen asked with a raised brow.

"No," Morgana rolled her eyes, "just read the news."

"And it was happy news?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, it was," she smiled.

It was as if everything was falling into place, and everything in her life was going smoothly. She was content, for once. Now if only it would last.

* * *

**This took a while to get ready since I've had a busy week. Second term starts with the next chapter, Morgana makes a decision about Morgause's flat, and Arthur gets suspicious. I hope this was enjoyable, and please review! I appreciate feedback.**


	14. Secrets That We Keep

**Thank you so much for such incredible feedback. I'll be going on vacation this weekend, and may not have a chance to update until next week.  
**

* * *

**XIV**

Morgana took a bite of toast and eggs, watching as Gwen stuffed notebooks into her bag.

"I'm going to be late!" Gwen bemoaned. Her maths class was early in the morning, and she regretted not taking it the semester prior.

"You've got fifteen minutes," Morgana pointed out. She knew Gwen would make it on time. Her flatmate just worried too much.

"All right. I'll see you later," Gwen said, rushing out the door.

Morgana waved her off and turned her attention back to her breakfast. She sighed. She had philosophy later in the morning, and then a meeting for the newest members of the newspaper staff in the afternoon. She'd get to see Merlin twice in one day, and she wouldn't be able to hold his hand or kiss him because she wanted them to keep their budding relationship quiet. She wished the Pendragons weren't so meddlesome, but there she was, hiding Merlin when all she wanted to do was hold his hand as they walked to class.

She stood from the kitchen table and dropped her plate in the sink, washing it. She stretched and padded back to her bedroom to get dressed.

Her mobile chimed, signalling a text. She picked it up and grinned. Just one word was enough, for now. 'Morning'. She clicked out a similar greeting and resumed getting ready for the day. She wore a dark jumper, jeans, warm socks, and arranged her hair in a long braid.

She took her bookbag from the floor and filled it with her philosophy text and a notebook.

Morgana moved to the living room and twirled her mobile around in her hands. She had been debating taking Morgause up on her offer regarding the flat. On the one hand, she didn't want to leave Gwen alone. On the other hand, she wanted a place where she and Merlin could be alone without interruption or making Gwen uncomfortable. She had reached a compromise: take the flat for weekends. It made no sense to stay there during the week since the commute to campus would be too long, but a weekend away would be perfect.

She called Morgause and told her of her decision, and Morgause told her to come by to take the spare key after her class. Morgana agreed, and then briefly wondered if she should have told Merlin before reaching a decision. He wouldn't mind, would he? She bit her lip. She was used to acting independently and not consulting anyone on any decisions she made. Now she had Merlin to keep in mind. She half-smiled, before frowning. What if he interpreted it as going to fast? Why were relationships so damn confusing?

* * *

Merlin hummed as he made breakfast, much to Arthur's chargin.

"What's got you so chipper?" the blond asked as he took a sip of coffee.

"Just glad to go to class," Merlin shrugged.

Arthur narrowed his eyes at his flatmate, "I don't understand what goes on in that head of yours, Merlin."

"I don't expect you ever will," Merlin smirked, turning off the stove.

The plates were already set on the table (Arthur had surprisingly volunteered to do so, as he felt guilty about leaving such a mess) and Merlin set the eggs, toast, and bacon on the table.

"You should just open a restaurant," Arthur said, stuffing his face.

"I'll take that as a compliment, then," Merlin sat down and put some food on his own plate.

Arthur frowned at the small amount of food Merlin ate. He never ate a lot at once, and though Arthur never made a fuss, it was a bit worrying. He supposed it was just because he ate every couple of hours instead of three hearty meals like a normal person, but he still wondered if Merlin's apparently scrawny frame was healthy.

"I'm not joking," Arthur said.

"I'll stick to my plans," Merlin brushed aside the suggestion.

"What? Being a writer or being a doctor?" Arthur asked.

"What do you care, Arthur? Since when are you so interested in my life?" Merlin asked, taking a bite of eggs.

Arthur set his fork down in annoyance, "We're flatmates, so I do care. Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate you. I know we got off on the wrong foot before-"

"Because you're a prat," Merlin snorted.

"But I'm trying to be nicer to you," Arthur glared, "don't see why, though."

Merlin grinned a little, "Seems there's a heart in you after all, Pendragon."

"Yeah. Whatever," Arthur rolled his eyes, defensive shield up once more. That was something he and Morgana had in common. Arthur played the part of a prat, egotistical jock, and Morgana was the ice queen. It was the product of growing up under the care of Uther Pendragon, after all.

* * *

Morgana walked into the lecture hall and spotted Merlin at the back. He waved her over and she smiled. Shocker. Morgana Lefay willingly smiled. She slid into the seat next to him and undid her coat buttons.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," Merlin smiled a bit, "I could help you with that coat if you'd like."

Morgana smirked, "I think you'd help with more than the coat."

"True," he snorted.

Before they had a chance to continue, the lecturer walked in and began to write on the board: Descartes. Oh, great. A repeat of sixth form awaited. Morgana groaned and Merlin glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, eyes shining.

He wrote her a note in cramped handwriting, passing it to her, 'Any plans later?'

She wrote back: 'I need to tell you something. Later.'

Merlin looked at her curiously and she offered a tense smile. Merlin nodded minutely and then worry worked its way into his mind. Did she regret everything now that she had a few days to process? Did she hate him? Was she pregnant? (Could women know they were pregnant so early after the fact, anyway?) He began to panic, yet remained still as a statue, robotically taking notes.

* * *

They walked along the snow-covered streets, keeping a platonic distance between them.

"So, what's up?" Merlin asked nervously.

"I got a new flat. Well, Morgause's flat," Morgana said.

"Oh. What about Gwen?" Merlin asked, confused.

"No, you don't get it," Morgana shook her head, "It's for us. You know, on the weekend we could go to the city, spend some time together away from everything."

Merlin bit his lip, "You reached this decision without me?"

"I thought you'd be happy," she frowned.

They stopped walking.

"I thought you'd be happy to spend more time together," Morgana furrowed her brow.

"I am happy. I just would've liked to have been informed," Merlin offered a soft smile.

"Next time," Morgana promised.

They resumed walking, and Morgana sighed.

"I have to go get the key from Morgause," she checked her watch.

"All right. See you at the meeting?" he asked.

"Yep," she looked around and quickly pecked Merlin on the lips.

"So the coast was clear?" Merlin said in amusement.

"Do you really want a Pendragon interrogation?" she asked.

Merlin paled, and she laughed, kissed him once more, and sped off towards the tube.

* * *

Morgause ushered her into the flat, smiling lightly. Morgana greeted her with a hug and her sister took her coat and hung it up in the hall closet. She led her to the living room where two mugs of black tea waited for them.

"I'm so glad you'll take the flat," Morgause said once the two of them were settled on the couch.

"Me too," Morgana smiled, "but you know I'll only be here weekends."

"Still, it'll be nice for someone to look over the place," Morgause said appreciatively, "and Gwen's welcome any time if you get lonely."

"I'll tell her, thanks," Morgana smiled. Morgause didn't need to know that she wouldn't be alone since Merlin would be with her. No one needed to know that, really.

"How was your first class?" Morgause asked, taking a sip of tea.

"Fine. A bit of a repetition of what I already know, though," Morgana pursed her lips.

"Then it'll be easy to get high marks," Morgause waved it off.

Morgana nodded and took a sip.

"I have a meeting for the paper in a couple of hours," Morgana informed.

"Excellent. And speaking of papers," Morgause grinned, "I read the news."

"Oh, good, you know," Morgana sighed.

"Our mother's murderer is behind bars. Our mother, and your father," Morgause said, eyes steely. Gorlois was a kind man, and possibly the best stepfather any child could ask for. He cared for Morgause as he did for Morgana, and Owen Essiter, Morgause's father, was grateful. It was a strange little family unit they'd formed, but it worked, and they were happy.

"Let's hope he stays there," Morgana frowned. Aggravaine was a powerful man, with lots of connections.

"Oh, he'll stay there," Morgause sounded absolutely certain.

"Morgause?"

"Yeah?" she looked up from her tea.

"Mum and Uther were having an affair," Morgana murmured.

Morgause sighed, "I know."

"You knew?" she looked betrayed.

"Of course I knew. That's why she and my dad got divorced," Morgause said breezily. Of course, she didn't know of that fact until she was fourteen and Morgana was seven, but she knew, and she didn't tell Morgana.

"What? But Uther was married to his wife," Morgana frowned.

"Then she fell in love with Uther's best friend, effectively betraying Uther," Morgause rolled her eyes, "you shouldn't be so surprised, dear sister."

"No. I talked to Uther. Their affair started after Ygraine died," she shook her head.

Morgause's hazel eyes bore into her green ones, "Uther lied, Morgana. He lies."

"No. No," Morgana shook her head.

"It's possible they broke it off when Ygraine was pregnant with Arthur and mum was pregnant with you," Morgause said lightly.

Morgana took a deep breath, "Gorlois is my father."

"I didn't say otherwise," Morgause narrowed her eyes, "you're a Lefay, through and through."

"You'd tell me if you knew, right? If-" Morgana paled at the mere thought of being Uther's daughter.

"I swear, you are not Uther's daughter. You are nothing like him," Morgause took Morgana's hand in her own, "Dearest sister, please, relax. Mum wouldn't have lied about your parentage. Uther, scum that he is, wouldn't turn his back on his daughter and not claim her. He would've tried to take you from Gorlois, but he didn't."

Morgana nodded, and mumbled something about having to get going. Morgause gave her the keys to the flat and told her she was leaving in two days, and to visit when she had the chance. Morgana nodded, and left.

* * *

She walked across the icy streets, mind running a mile a minute. Morgause was right: Uther wouldn't abandon his child. That's what worried Morgana so much. He had willingly taken her in, the daughter of his lover and his best friend. He doted on her and seemed so invested in her well-being, and was so much kinder to her than to Arthur. At first she had attributed it to her being the last remnant of his friends, and him taking pity on the poor orphan. Besides, Arthur had to uphold his high standards and the Pendragon name, so of course Uther would be sterner with him. Now she wasn't so sure. The letter she had found tried to convince Vivienne to leave Gorlois and take Morgana with her. She shuddered.

All Morgana wanted to do was vent to Merlin and cry. If she was a Pendragon, Uther had an opportunity to tell her the truth, and he didn't take it. If she wasn't his daughter, then everything was fine. She was afraid to ask. Gorlois was her father. She didn't want to be Uther's daughter. She neared her flat and quickened her pace. She didn't want to outright ask Uther. She didn't want to know, but she needed to know. She resolved to speak with Uther at their next weekly dinner, but right now, she needed to take a nap.

* * *

Merlin and Lancelot sat in the cafe as Gwen worked. Merlin took a bite of the scone he had and Lancelot nursed a cup of tea. They had only one class together this semester (modern history) and decided to meet up any time they could. Besides Gwaine, whom Merlin had met over the summer, Lancelot was Merlin's closest and first friend.

"How was your first class?" Lancelot asked.

"Fine. A bit repetitive," Merlin shrugged.

"Sounds about right," Lancelot took a sip.

"Yep," Merlin nodded.

Gwaine and Percival walked in and took a table next to the friends.

"Hey," they greeted each other.

"What's got you out of the pub?" Lancelot asked with a grin.

"A date," Gwaine replied cheekily.

Percival blushed lightly, and smiled, "It took a bit of convincing."

"Well, ignore us, then," Merlin smiled at the couple, "we're interrupting, aren't we?"

"Not at all," Percy said at the same moment Gwaine said, "Yeah, give us some space, thanks."

The pair looked at each other and smiled.

"That's our cue to leave," Lancelot said, standing, "see you at practice, Percy. Later, Gwaine."

"Bye," Merlin waved to them, receiving nods in return.

Gwen smiled at them from across the counter where the cakes were displayed, and Lancelot gave her a peck on the lips before exiting the cafe with Merlin. The two friends walked towards the media building, as Lancelot was to take photos for the university's newspaper. Merlin didn't know why Lancelot wasn't in the university's art programme, to be honest. He had caught sight of Lancelot's notebook full of sketches, and painting was a way for him to get out his feelings, yet he refused to consider switching majors. It was a bit sad that because of finances, he couldn't do what he loved. Besides, according to Lancelot football and painting didn't mix. Merlin called that bullshit.

"How's your mum?" Lancelot asked as they walked down icy streets.

"Fine. A bit disappointed I didn't stay for New Year, though," he shrugged.

"Well you and Morgana probably wouldn't be together had you stayed," Lancelot pointed out.

Merlin smiled, "Yeah. Probably."

"Would've taken you two until graduation, making eyes at each other," Lancelot teased.

"You're one to talk, Mr 'Gwen and I spent the entire night talking'," Merlin snorted.

Lancelot scowled, "I don't want to scare her off."

"I don't think you could scare her off if you tried," Merlin laughed.

Lancelot smiled and nodded, not needing to say anything.

They finally reached the building and went inside, finding the paper's office. The editor-in-chief stood at the front of the room, writing on the board, while the other editors sat on one side of the classroom. The writers and photographers sat on the other side.

Lancelot and Merlin sat next to each other, and moments later Morgana came running through the door, her braided hair half-undone. She smiled weakly at Merlin and sat down.

"Hey," she said, out of breath.

"Hey, were you still at Morgause's?" Merlin asked.

"Nope. Went home, took a nap. Overslept," Morgana explained, annoyed at herself.

"I should've gone to get you," Merlin said.

Morgana shook her head, "It's fine. Hey, Lancelot."

"Hey," Lancelot greeted, smiling.

They didn't have a chance to have a conversation because the editor-in-chief began to speak, introducing herself and then the other editors (news, entertainment, sports, campus news) and then began to assign stories to senior members of the writing staff, and then finally assigned stories to the newest members of the paper, all while the journalism professor sat at his desk, monitoring the meeting.

Two hours later, Lancelot, Morgana, and Merlin walked out of the building, and it was already dark out.

"I am so tired," Morgana mumbled. Without thinking, she leaned closer to Merlin, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. They had forgotten about their discretion in public.

"I need to get going, but see you guys later," Lancelot said, leaving the couple.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked Morgana, rubbing her back.

"Morgause told me Uther and Vivienne had been having an affair since before I was born," Morgana said numbly. She had thought everything would be fine now. Aggravaine awaited a trial, Uther was apologetic, but now, now she wasn't so sure.

"You don't think you're a Pendragon, do you?" Merlin asked with a frown.

"I don't know what to think," Morgana sighed. She wouldn't see Uther for days. She wanted to know, but at the same time, she was afraid that if she were Uther's daughter, she'd be betraying Gorlois.

Merlin pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head.

"Let's get you home," he murmured.

The two walked in the cold night air, slowly making their way back to the student flats. Morgana rested her head against Merlin's shoulder, and his hold on her tightened. He was worried, not that he'd say as much. She'd only get mad at him for worrying.

"Merlin!" he heard someone yell.

Both Merlin and Morgana turned around to see Arthur Pendragon walking towards them. Merlin's arm immediately detached itself from Morgana's waist and Morgana moved away a bit.

"Hi," they greeted Arthur, both obviously annoyed and concerned that they've been found out.

"Why were you walking like that?" Arthur asked suspiciously.

"Like what?" Morgana asked.

"Like, together," Arthur wrinkled his nose.

"I was feeling dizzy. Merlin was nice enough to let me use him as a human crutch," Morgana shrugged.

"Are you okay?" Arthur asked, glancing between Merlin and Morgana.

"I just need sleep," Morgana snapped, "now if you'll excuse us."

"Right, of course. See you at the flat later," Arthur told Merlin, who nodded.

* * *

Morgana settled herself on the couch, her coat and shoes at the coat rack. Merlin brought over a cup of tea from the kitchen and set in on the coffee table. He kissed Morgana quickly and smiled sadly.

"I've got to go," Merlin murmured.

"Stay with me a bit," Morgana said. Gwen was still at work, and she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts.

Merlin shrugged off his coat. He should've realised making a quick spot of tea would turn into him staying with her until Gwen returned. He sat down on the couch next to her and Morgana rested her head on his chest, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I'm unloading all this on you," Morgana frowned.

"It's fine. What are boyfriends for?" Merlin asked with a chuckle.

"You weren't my boyfriend when I started telling you the disturbing details of my life," Morgana snorted.

"Yeah, well, I guess you were trying to scare me off, and it didn't work," Merlin said with a smile.

"You've always been a good friend, Merlin. To everyone. I feel like we all take advantage of you sometimes," Morgana admitted.

"Never think that again," Merlin said lightly, "I'm glad to help."

Morgana lifted her head up and looked at him. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and settled herself on top of him completely. He deepened the kiss and Morgana sat on his lap. She broke the kiss and smiled. She suddenly did feel quite so tired anymore. Just getting her thoughts off her chest was enough, sometimes. Her hands slid under his jumper, and Merlin groaned.

"Morgana, no," Merlin closed his eyes, "we don't have time."

"Gwen won't be back for a while," Morgana said with a teasing grin.

She removed her hands from under his shirt and pulled off her own jumper. She was left in a tight tank top, her bra peeking through.

"You're going to kill me," Merlin murmured.

"I need you alive, actually," Morgana kissed him once more.

He pushed her back onto the couch, straddling her. His fingers glided down her sides before his thumbs brushed her breasts lightly. He kissed her neck and pushed the straps of her top down her shoulders, exposing more of her chest. Her hands went under his jumper, and she clawed at his back. What had she just started?

* * *

Merlin slid his jeans back on, and looked around the living room for his jumper. Their clothes had been scattered around the entire flat, though they regulated themselves to Morgana's bed once more. Maybe she had the right idea about the flat for the weekend. All he knew was that he may have to invest in a box of condoms, even though Morgana had informed him she was on the pill.

"Do you have to leave?" Morgana frowned. She stood in the doorway. Her hair tumbled in waves down to her waist, and she wore an oversized shirt and cotton shorts.

"It's late. We've got class in the morning," Merlin sighed. He'd love to stay and never leave, but they had to be discreet about things.

"Arthur's got you on watch?" Morgana scowled. Stupid Arthur.

"You don't want him to know, so we need to keep up pretenses," Merlin shrugged, putting on his coat and shoes.

"I know, I'm just being difficult," Morgana sighed and moved closer to Merlin.

She gave him a hug and he pressed her close.

"See you for breakfast tomorrow?" he asked. They'd just go to the cafeteria, as usual. Just two platonic friends, having breakfast. Nothing special.

She nodded, and they walked to the front door.

"Night, Merlin," she opened it and watched him leave.

"Night," he said with a small smile.

She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it. A few moments later there was a knock. She opened it to find Merlin there.

"Merlin?" she asked in confusion.

"I forgot something," he said and cupped the sides of her face, kissing her.

Morgana clutched at his coat, moaning. He was going to kill her with kisses, she knew it.

They parted, gasping for breath.

"Good night," Merlin said, backing out of the door.

"Night," Morgana said breathlessly.

With that, he left and Morgana shut the door once more. She smiled and shook her head. Merlin. Just, Merlin.

* * *

Merlin opened the door to his flat, smiling. His smile faltered when he saw Arthur glaring at him.

"Hello to you, too," Merlin greeted.

"Where were you?" Arthur asked.

"What are you, my mother?" Merlin unbuttoned his coat and hung it on the rack they had next to the door.

Arthur stood from his spot on the couch, "You took Morgana home hours ago. She said she needed to sleep, so you couldn't have been with her, right?"

Merlin rolled his eyes, "What does it matter to you where I was?"

"It matters if you were with Morgana. She's like a sister, Merlin. An annoying, snarky, unrelated sister, but a sister nonetheless," Arthur grumbled, "and I'd like to know if you're seeing her."

"I'm not," Merlin lied.

"I don't believe you," Arthur's jaw was set sternly. His hands were at his side, and rolled into fists.

"Why would I hide anything from you?" Merlin rolled his eyes, "besides, do you really think Morgana would want to date me?"

Arthur seemingly relaxed a bit, fists uncurling, "True. You're not her usual type."

Merlin's brow furrowed. Now he wanted to know what her 'usual type' was. He'd have to ask about it later.

"Are you done with the inquisition?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah. Sorry, Merlin. I guess I just get overprotective," Arthur clapped Merlin on the back, hard. Merlin winced a bit and smiled forcefully.

"Understandable," Merlin said and walked into their room. Arthur peered after him and shook his head.

He knew all too well what a man looked like after having sex (after all, Arthur Pendragon got a lot of girls), and Merlin looked like Arthur after a nice shag with a pretty girl. His hair was messier than usual, his clothing was rumpled, and he had a mark on his neck that wasn't from shaving, no matter what excuses he made up.

Arthur sat back on the couch. Maybe he wasn't with Morgana. Maybe he had taken her home and gone to some other girl's flat. An unnamed, rarely mentioned girl. That thought was a lot better than thinking of Morgana and Merlin together. For now, he'd believe Merlin, but he didn't appreciate being lied to. Maybe he'd have better luck annoying Morgana until he got some answers.

* * *

**Coming up is Morgana confronting Uther, and Arthur conducting an investigation of his own regarding Merlin and Morgana. Please review, I really appreciate feedback. I hope I can get another chapter in before I leave, but I most likely won't update again until Monday.  
**


	15. Confrontations

**I'm back from vacation, yay! Thank you for reading/following/reviewing/etc. I hope the wait was worth it.  
**

* * *

**XV**

After the first few days of the spring term, it was finally time for a break. Morgana threw articles of clothing into an overnight bag. Gwen hovered about their room, sending her glances with raised eyes and smiles.

"It's so romantic!" Gwen sighed, settling herself on her bed.

"It's just for a weekend, Gwen. Relax," Morgana said, wrinkling her nose. She frowned at a textbook and tossed it in her bag. She may as well get some of her chemistry done. Merlin was good at chemistry, so he could help. She smirked. He was very good with chemistry.

"I'm already planning the wedding in my head, just so you know," Gwen grinned.

Morgana sent her a glare, "Stop or I'll tell Lancelot that he's dating a madwoman."

Gwen frowned and crossed her arms across her chest, "Rude."

"Sorry, Gwen. It's just way to soon to think about weddings," Morgana shuddered.

"At least you've got a date for Morgause's wedding," Gwen shrugged.

"No. He can't be a date-date because no one can know," Morgana grumbled.

"Not even in the summer?" Gwen raised a brow in confusion.

"Nope. I don't want him to encounter the Pendragon Inquisition," Morgana frowned.

"I don't want to know," Gwen murmured. Morgana's adoptive family was, well, intimidating, to say the least.

* * *

Gwen looked up from arranging store copy receipts at the counter of the café, and groaned. Arthur Pendragon came striding towards her, jaw set.

"Hello, Arthur," she greeted, "what can I get you?"

"Nothing, thanks Gwen," Arthur shook his head.

"Then why are you here?" Gwen tried not to frown. She had to be friendly to customers, even if they weren't currently purchasing any food.

"I have to ask you something," Arthur said in a quiet voice.

"I'm not going out with you, Arthur," she rolled her eyes. Always the same with this one.

"No, that's not what I was going to ask," Arthur frowned.

Gwen looked taken aback, "Oh." That was most definitely not disappointment in her voice.

"Has Morgana been acting weird lately? Or Merlin, for that matter?" Arthur asked, genuinely seeming concerned.

"No, not really," Gwen shook her head. Shit. Crap. Hell. He knew. How was she supposed to lie?

"Are you sure?"

"They've always been like that," she said, nearly stuttering on her words.

"Does Merlin have a girlfriend?" Arthur asked.

"Not that I know of. There was his old girlfriend in Ireland. Maybe they got back together during the holiday," Gwen shrugged, lying through her teeth.

Arthur seemed relieved at that, and smiled, "Thanks, Gwen. Sorry I bothered you."

"No problem," she muttered, going back to sorting the receipts.

* * *

Morgana paced around Uther's study, before dinner that evening. She had left her small overnight bag with Gwen, and would go by to pick it and Merlin up later.

She took a deep breath, and Uther walked through the door, smiling slightly.

"Morgana. What is is it you wanted to talk about?" Uther asked lightly.

Morgana turned around and Uther sat on his chair next to his desk.

"Did you and my mother have an affair before I was born? Is that why Morgause's dad wanted a divorce?" Morgana blurted in one breath.

Uther's face went ashen, and he appeared ill.

"What?" he croaked.

"I was talking to Morgause, and, well," Morgana gave a nervous laugh.

"I loved my wife very much," Uther started, and Morgana had the hope that he would say that he didn't cheat on her, "and I regret hurting her."

Morgana's face fell and her green eyes darkened. She was about to vomit right there on the expensive carpeting. She clutched her stomach, and brought a hand to her mouth.

"I am so, so sorry," Uther whispered.

"You're not my father," Morgana shook her head in despair.

"Morgana," Uther took a deep breath, "your mother told me-"

"Stop!" she shouted, "I don't want to know. Gorlois is my father. I'm a Lefay. I'm a Lefay," Morgana murmured, like it was her new mantra. She knew what Uther would say: that Vivienne told him Morgana was his daughter.

"Morgana, please, let's get to dinner and discuss this later," Uther stood and walked over, resting a hand on her shoulder.

She shook his hand away, scowling, "Forgive me, Mr Pendragon, but I don't think I can stomach anything right now."

She walked towards the door.

"Morgana, wait! I am your guardian," Uther frowned.

"I'm nearly nineteen. I disown you," Morgana said, laughing and trying not to cry. Uther was the man who had cared for her for a decade. Who had gotten her everything she could ask for. Except she'd been lied to for possibly her entire life.

"Morgana, you will go to your room and we will discuss this later," Uther said firmly, trying to grab her arm.

She pulled away and placed her hand on the doorknob. She turned slightly to face him, eyes raging with anger and distrust and confusion.

"And you, Uther, will go to hell," Morgana spat, leaving the study.

* * *

Merlin watched helplessly as Morgana slammed the door to Morgause's flat, rage apparent. They had met at her and Gwen's flat and he had been concerned to see her look so incredibly numb. He had asked her what was wrong and she'd replied with only one word :"Uther".

The ride to the flat had been spent in near silence, Morgana's anger boiling to the surface quietly.

Now she slammed the door and kicked off her shoes and slammed the door to the coat closet and tried to unbutton her cardigan hastily only to give up. Her green eyes shone with unshed tears.

"Morgana," Merlin said quietly, moving closer to her.

She slapped him away, backing up.

"Leave me alone, Merlin," Morgana mumbled. She felt like retching. She was being a bitch, but at the moment she didn't care.

"You obviously need to vent, not wallow in self-pity," Merlin took off his coat and hung it up. He gently took her arm and led her to the couch.

Once seated, she started to cry.

"Uther and Vivienne had an affair for years. Since before Arthur and I were even born. My mother told him I was his, Merlin," she sobbed, hands covering her mouth. Uther didn't even have to say it, but she knew that's what Vivienne must've said. That's why Uther took her in.

Merlin wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned her head onto his chest. Her whole world had been turned upside down yet again.

After crying for a few minutes, she sat up and sniffled. Her eyes were red, her cheeks pale, and wavy hair falling out of its bun. She wiped her face with her hand and smiled weakly.

"Sorry for using you as a crying board. Again," she sighed.

"You needed to talk and cry. It's normal," Merlin shrugged, still not used to the obvious appreciation.

"What about my life is normal, Merlin? It's so fucked up. My dad may not even be my dad. Arthur could be my brother?" she shook her head in frustration.

"You'll still be you, Morgana," Merlin said softly, reassuringly.

She smiled, "I think I'd go crazy without you. Like, murder rampage at Uther's crazy."

Merlin let out a chuckle and he hugged her close, "If you need to talk, just talk. I'll be here."

She sighed in his hold and wrapped her arms around him. Her stomach grumbled and Merlin grinned.

"So you missed your weekly dinner, then?" he asked.

"I'm never going back, Merlin," she whispered, "I want nothing to do with him."

"You're hurt, I get it," he nodded understandingly, "just make your decision with a cool head. No murder rampages."

She laughed shortly and nodded. She needed time to think, but for now, she wanted nothing to do with the Pendragons. She had nothing against Arthur, but she just couldn't face him right now.

Merlin stood and moved to the kitchen, pleased to find a fully stocked fridge and organised cupboards.

"Are you cooking?" Morgana asked from the couch.

"Yeah. What do you feel like?" Merlin asked.

"Spaghetti. Hey, teach me how to cook," Morgana stood, walking into the kitchen.

"What?" Merlin smiled.

"Teach me. It can't be that hard," Morgana shrugged.

"Fine. Get out a pot and some salt and a packet of spaghetti. We'll need tomatoes for the sauce, and peppers and meat and onions," he began to trail off.

Morgana fought a smile and nodded before rummaging through the cupboards for what they needed.

* * *

Uther sat at the head of the table, eating silently. Arthur sat to his right, staring ahead at the empty seat in front of him. It was the way they had always sat, even before Uther was Prime Minister. Arthur to the right of Uther, Morgana to the left.

It always seemed so empty and lifeless without Morgana around. He took a bite of the potatoes, ignoring the salad next to it. He grinned briefly. Morgana hated vegetables when they were younger so he'd eat them for her when Uther wasn't looking. She in turn would sneak into the kitchen after dessert to get him more cake or pudding or biscuits. Her incredible sneaking skills came into good use when they would sneak out of the house to go to parties as teenagers, or when she would sneak out to see Nimueh and Arthur would have no clue as to her activities, thus saving him from a scolding.

"Are you all right?" Uther asked. He'd been lost in his own thoughts, and he had noticed his son's far-off, blank look.

"Just thinking," Arthur smiled tensely.

"About?" Uther asked.

"Morgana's been acting strange lately. Like she's avoiding me," Arthur confided.

Uther's heart nearly broke. He was the cause for Morgana's behaviour, he knew it. He'd been a damned fool, getting involved with Vivienne when it was so obvious she was in love with Gorlois and Gorlois was in love with her. He frowned. Vivienne tended to run from things that scared her, and her love for Gorlois terrified her. He remembered how Gorlois had confided in him about Vivienne's distance and bouts and crying. Uther had reassured him that she was just being difficult, but everything would get better soon enough. He remembered the day Gorlois had called him and told him about Vivienne's pregnancy. How it was a miracle and how Uther would be godfather and how excited and happy he was. Uther felt nagging guilt just thinking about his closest friend.

They had always been together, through everything. Uther was the imposing, cold and blond society man, while Gorlois was taller and thinner, with dark hair kind eyes and selfless attitude, always ready to help others without expecting anything in return. He searched for the truth and justice, and in the end that was what killed him.

Uther took a sip of wine.

"I think she's seeing someone, but I guess there must be something else," Arthur continued.

"Seeing someone? Who could she possibly being seeing? She never mentioned anyone?" Uther set the glass down.

"Could you blame her?" Arthur snorted, "after the way you've scared every bloke off?"

Uther remained silent for a moment, "Who do you suspect?"

"No, dad. I'm not going to get you involved in her personal life. If she wanted us to know, she would've told us," Arthur shook his head. If Morgana were dating Merlin for some strange reason, he would wait out the lies and sneaking around. He'd be happy for them, because Merlin wasn't so bad and Morgana was happier when he was around.

"Arthur," Uther used his 'I'm the Prime Minister, answer me' voice.

"Not a word of this to Morgana. No meddling," Arthur said firmly.

* * *

Merlin laughed, while Morgana cried as she cut the onions. This was terrible.

"Shut up," she laughed through the tears.

"Sorry, it's just so funny," Merlin snorted back more laughter as he stirred the spaghetti sauce on the stove.

Morgana took the cutting board of onions and dropped them in the sauce, glaring at Merlin as she did so. Merlin handed her the spoon to stir and moved to the pot of boiling spaghetti. He turned of the heat and took the pot to the sink, draining the water out. He placed it back on the stove and took a small bit of butter and dropped it in, took another spoon, and stirred it.

"Did you cook a lot? Back home, I mean," Morgana asked.

"My mum was always on-call at the hospital, and worked weird hours, so I would make breakfast or dinner or lunch or just something for her so she wouldn't have to when she got home," Merlin explained.

Morgana stopped stirring the sauce and looked at Merlin with wide, sad eyes.

"I knew your mum worked a lot, but…you're not real, Merlin. You can't be," Morgana shook her head.

"What? Of course I'm real," Merlin frowned in confusion.

"You're too perfect to be real. Too other-worldly," Morgana clarified, smiling.

"Shut up and get some plates," Merlin ordered, trying not to smile at the compliment.

"Get it yourself, you arse," and Morgana was back.

Merlin laughed and brushed past her to get the plates and she shook her head, getting the forks. This was a far better alternative to being at the Pendragon's for dinner. She shuddered at the thought, then pushed it away. She was with Merlin and that was all that mattered at the moment.

* * *

Her head rested on his chest as they lay down on the bed. Morgana had changed the bed sheets while Merlin cleaned up after dinner. She didn't think Morgause would've appreciated them sweating all over her expensive sheets, so she brought extra with her to use during their stay.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," she sighed. Like this, in her own little bubble with Merlin, away from reality, would be fantastic. She didn't want to deal with the outside world, but she knew she had to eventually.

"Really?" Merlin asked, turning to face her.

Morgana turned on her side so their faces were centimetres apart, and nodded.

"Forever," she confirmed.

"You'd get sick of me really quickly," Merlin murmured, blinking.

"Why do you doubt this so often? Us?" Morgana asked softly.

"Because, Morgana. You're smart and witty and beautiful and I'm, well, I'm just me," Merlin frowned.

"Exactly. You're you. Smart and clever and pretty damn hot and so ridiculously kind," Morgana whispered and kissed his cheek, "that's why I lo-like you so much." She mentally panicked. Liked. She meant liked.

Merlin smiled softly, almost sadly. He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her lips.

"You don't believe me, do you?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"I want to believe you," he sighed.

"I don't know what this is, Merlin. I feel like we knew each other before, somehow, some way, and that's why we're so close, and that's why I am terrified," Morgana admitted, sitting up.

"Terrified of what?" Merlin asked, concerned. He didn't think he was very scary.

"Of hurting you," she bit her lip, "I have this gross feeling that I'm going to hurt you and you'll hate me."

"I could never hate you," he whispered, and kissed her hair.

"There we go again with the 'nevers' and 'forevers'," she smirked.

"Well, it sounds good, though, doesn't it?" Merlin asked.

"Sounds amazing," she settled back into his arms and closed her eyes. She could already see themselves a decade or so down the line. A nice flat, a kid with dark hair and blue eyes (his eyes, not hers, she had the same eyes as Uther and that thought alone made her want to get coloured contacts to change them to brown, Gorlois's eye colour).

* * *

_She stormed out of some immense dining hall, her hair flying behind her. Uther stood alone, golden crown atop his balding head. _

_She was in that hall once again, Uther's hands wrapped around her delicate throat. She was choking.  
_

_The scene changed and she was in a room, a dark, but incredibly beautiful room. A man handed her a vial and she looked up and it was Merlin, but it _wasn't_ Merlin. They mumbled out a conversation, and he left, looking over his shoulder at her as she moved to closed the door. His eyes were filled with compassion, not pity, and admiration, not lust. _

_Her arm caught his as he walked down the corridor and she pulled him into a little alcove. The personal space between them was nonexistent. He wore a scarf and an old jacket and she was dressed in a fine blue dress with billowing sleeves. Her hand sought his out only for him to leave her.  
_

_Now she was holding a sword that felt heavy in her hand and her hair was out of her face and she thrust the sword forward at her enemy, breathless. Her enemy reluctantly swung a sword at her and she looked up at him. Merlin._

Morgana opened her eyes, breathing ragged. She looked around and remembered that she was in Morgause's flat. It was early Saturday morning, and Merlin was right there next to her. She wasn't trying to run through him with a sword. Why did she dream about hurting him? Why? What was going on in her head?

Merlin's arms tightened around her and she tried to relax. Everything, for the most part, was fine. They'd spend the day walking around London, then do some studying, and then they'd just be together. She'd forget about Uther and her strange dreams and just move on with her life. Just move on.

"Morning," Merlin mumbled.

"Morning," she said in return.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked sleepily.

"Had a dream. Nightmare, really," she admitted.

He opened his eyes and looked at her, "I'll tell Gaius to get you more medicine."

"If it's not too much trouble," she smiled lightly.

Merlin nodded and kissed her cheek before closing his eyes again to sleep.

He made no move to get out of bed or let her go, so she leaned close to his ear.

"I'm going to go take a shower," she whispered, then kissed his cheek.

He sat up and looked at her with an impish grin, "Need some help?"

"Pig," she laughed, getting out of bed. She stretched and tossed on Merlin's jumper that swallowed her form.

"I think that's a bit small," he deadpanned. The blue jumper's sleeves were far too long, and the length hit at her thigh.

"Shut your face," Morgana padded into the hall to get to the bathroom, conveniently forgetting a change of clothes.

Merlin rolled off of the bed and hurried after her.

* * *

Arthur had never felt so alone in his entire life. It was odd, for Merlin not to be humming or singing in the kitchen as he made breakfast when Arthur woke up.

So Arthur Pendragon poured himself cereal and milk and wondered when exactly Leon had dragged him home from the pub the night before after dinner with his father. He had seen Gwen and Lancelot together and nearly drank himself into a stupor. He had noticed the absence of both Morgana and Merlin and had mentally congratulated himself on his skills of deduction. He was a regular Sherlock Holmes.

He understood why Morgana was keeping things quiet, but he was still upset that _Merlin_ would lie to him. Merlin, who was always honest, flat out lied to him. It's not like he was going to beat him up. Okay, maybe he would've hit him for shagging his foster-sister and something about honour, but that was it.

Arthur grumbled and pushed his cereal away. Where was Merlin? Where was Morgana? Why did Uther look depressed at the mere mention of Morgana's name? What the hell was going on?

* * *

Morgana threw her clothing into a large suitcase. Merlin had gone to have drinks with Lancelot in the city, and Morgana took the opportunity to go get the rest of her belongings from 10 Downing Street.

She haphazardly folded a pair of shorts and tossed it into the suitcase. She could leave her spring and summer clothes at Morgause's flat for now. She knelt down to retrieve some trainers and sandals, and stuffed them into a smaller suitcase. Her jewellery and handbags were already in the larger of the two suitcases, and she vaguely wondered since when had she accumulated all of this crap.

She zipped the smaller suitcase and sighed in satisfaction.

"Morgana?" Uther stood at the door, arms crossed.

Crap. She had left the door open. She turned around to face her guardian (maybe father).

"I just came to get my stuff," she said brusquely.

"I see," Uther said quietly.

Morgana zipped the larger suitcase and pulled it off of her bed, Uther watching sadly.

"Goodbye, Uther. Thank you for taking care of me for so long, but it's time I take care of myself," Morgana said without a hint of emotion in her voice.

"Morgana, please, don't be like this," Uther sighed.

"Maybe one day I'll get over being lied to for my entire life, but right now I never want to see you ever again," Morgana said honestly, not caring if she were breaking her maybe father's heart.

"Would you like a DNA test? To know for sure?" he asked after clearing his throat.

"You will never be my father, Uther, blood or no blood. Do what you will, I don't care," Morgana said firmly.

Uther nodded, "Goodbye, Morgana."

"Goodbye," Morgana took her suitcases and walked past her guardian, vowing to not speak a word of this to Arthur. He didn't need to know about his (their?) father's infidelities.

* * *

Gwen rushed around the café, refilling mugs and taking orders. They were short staffed as two waitresses had come down with the flu and she was doing triple the work.

Lancelot, donning an apron, held a tray of orders, and she smiled appreciatively.

"Thank you so much," Gwen felt like kissing him senseless but couldn't because they had work to do.

"When I saw how busy you were, I thought I'd help," Lancelot shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, I really appreciate it," Gwen smiled.

They grinned at each other before more customers showed up and then they got to work.

After several hours of taking orders and generally running around with too much to do, the two of them sat exhausted at a table.

"I can't feel my feet," Gwen groaned.

"I'll take you home," Lancelot stood, offering Gwen his hand.

"It's so quiet without Morgana," Gwen sighed. Even if she wasn't in a talkative mood, there was always some music playing or show on for them to watch. They donned their coats and scarves and hats before leaving.

"She'll be back tomorrow. I had drinks with Merlin earlier," Lancelot said as Gwen locked up.

"Really? Where was Morgana?" Gwen pursed her lips.

"Apparently getting her stuff from the Pendragon's. She's moving all of her extra stuff into her sister's flat," Lancelot shrugged.

Gwen frowned. Did she get into an argument with Uther? She'd have to ask about it later.

* * *

Morgana stared blankly at her mug of tea while Merlin sat next to her, also stone-faced.

"I don't want to know," she mumbled. A DNA test was too much. What if Uther went ahead and did one, and they were father and daughter? She wouldn't be able to take it.

In the span of a few short months, her entire childhood had been proven to be a lie. Her mother was a cheater, Uther betrayed both his wife and his so-called best friend. It was all too much. She needed to talk to someone other than Merlin, because Merlin was so attentive and kind but it was too much for him to handle by himself.

She couldn't call Morgause because she was off with Cendred and she hated Uther anyway and could not be objective. Nimueh was busy with her life in Paris and never trusted Uther or Arthur, so she was also unavailable. Gwen was her best friend, but she was afraid that Gwen would look at her differently, like with pity or something. She most definitely couldn't talk to Arthur about this because he had been lied to, too, and she wanted to protect her maybe-brother from heartache.

So she relied on Merlin. Unwavering, loyal, attentive, Merlin. She honestly didn't know what she'd do without him.

"Then don't. It's not going to matter who your biological father is. What matters is that Gorlois _is_ your dad, he raised you, and he'd still be raising you now if he were here," Merlin held her hand in companionship.

Morgana nodded minutely, and squeezed his hand. She just needed time to process, that was all.

* * *

**So, the plot continues to thicken. There will be a bit of a time skip (not much, just a few weeks) in the next chapter. Any recognizable dialogue is from the show. Thank you for reading and please review.  
**


	16. Lied to

**There's been a drop-off in reviews, which is a bit disappointing. I want to know if this should be continued, is enjoyable to read, and what could be improved on. This chapter's a bit Arthur-centric.**

* * *

**XVI  
**

Arthur Pendragon was severely annoyed. Ticked off. Peeved. But mostly he was disappointed. He had been willing to give Morgana and Merlin a few weeks to come to terms with their relationship before asking them about it. He had been waiting for them to tell him, not for them to continually lie to him, day after day.

What was even worse was that Morgana avoided him at all costs. She would make excuses to get out of being in the same room as him, like studying, or being tired, or some other bull like that. She hadn't been to their weekly dinners with Uther in weeks, either. It was frustrating. He highly doubted dating Merlin would make her avoid Uther. There was something else going on, and he wanted to know what. He wanted to know why his father looked depressed all of the time and was so distraught at the mention of his ward.

He was now used to getting home before Merlin after a night out, when before Merlin was more likely to turn in early. Ever so often, he wouldn't see Merlin for an entire weekend. He'd stopped asking about where he'd been early on. Arthur knew that he was with Morgana, no matter what terrible alibis Gwen or Lancelot thought of.

Arthur cringed. Gwen and Lancelot. They were so sickeningly sweet together. He'd see them walking around campus, holding hands. Or at the pub staring lovingly into each other's eyes. It was too much. Lancelot was perfectly polite and nice, so he couldn't hate the bloke. He was a damn good football player, too. So Arthur decided Gwen was a lost cause, and that she'd never date him. It was okay though. He had Sophia. Beautiful Sophia. Sophia who latched onto his every word like it was law, who would not leave him alone. Ever.

He glanced around the empty room and placed a pillow over his head. Sophia had left hours ago and he was stuck on his own once more.

* * *

Gwen took the last plate from Morgana and placed it in the cupboard. She had come home from work to find that Morgana had made her dinner.

"I can't believe you cooked," Gwen said, still in shock, as they settled on the couch to study for their respective tests the next day.

"Merlin's been teaching me," Morgana admitted, shrugging.

"Bless him," Gwen said quietly, grinning.

Morgana seemed a great deal happier and less confrontational lately when Merlin was around. In those moments when she thought no one was looking, though, she'd get a far-away look in her eye and look so incredibly lost that Gwen didn't know what to say or do.

"Bless him, indeed," Morgana smirked.

"Oh, God," Gwen groaned, covering her face with a textbook. The two of them were really quite disgusting, what with constantly feeling each other up.

"I said nothing. Your mind went to a dirty place," Morgana said dryly.

"What did you expect? I came home two days ago to see you snogging on the couch," Gwen scowled mockingly.

"Be grateful we were just snogging," Morgana said quietly.

Gwen's eyes bugged out and she looked murderous, "No! No shagging on our couch. We have to sit on this daily."

"Relax. We wouldn't do that," Morgana rolled her eyes.

Gwen sighed in relief and returned her attention to her book. Really, Morgana was too much sometimes. At least Merlin had the good grace to look embarrassed when they were caught on the couch.

* * *

Merlin padded through the doorway, locking up behind him. Arthur was sprawled out on the couch, textbook on top of his chest. He shook his head and smirked.

"Wake up," he said loudly.

"I wasn't asleep," Arthur slurred, opening his eyes.

"Riiight," Merlin raised a brow.

"And what sort of time do you call this?" Arthur asked, sitting up.

"Sorry, mum. I was studying with Lancelot for physics, I hope that's all right," Merlin shook his head.

"Right. With Lancelot," Arthur snorted.

Merlin rolled his eyes and thought it was best not to respond. The one time he actually was with Lancelot, he was on the receiving end of an inquisition.

"If you have a girlfriend, just tell me," obviously Arthur could not let it go.

"It's none of your business who I date, Arthur. You're not my mum or my boss," Merlin glared.

Arthur fought a groan and just stared at Merlin, incredibly disappointed for some reason. He nodded briefly.

"Fine. Don't tell me. Don't tell me anything ever again," Arthur said.

"Don't be so dramatic. Do I ask you about your love life?" Merlin asked.

"Well, no," his brow furrowed.

"Exactly," Merlin sighed.

"Morgana's acting weird and distant and I want to know if it's because of you. As annoying as she is, I worry about her sometimes," Arthur blurted out.

Merlin's glare softened, "You'll have to talk to Morgana about what's bothering her. It's not my place to say."

"She's been avoiding me like a plague," Arthur said dejectedly, "we used to be friends, you know? Then we sort of grew apart like strangers living in the same house. Now she won't even look at me without looking like she wants to cry or puke. I don't know why she hates me."

Merlin sat down next to Arthur, genuinely feeling sorry for his flatmate (read: friend).

"Just talk to her," Merlin said.

Arthur glanced at Merlin from his peripheral vision and nodded.

* * *

"No," Morgana said as they sat in the café for a late lunch after their differing classes had ended.

"He's miserable, Morgana. He thinks you hate him," Merlin said in exasperation, ignoring his soup.

She bit her lip and nodded, "I'll talk to him. Eventually."

"Don't you want to tell Uther first?" Merlin asked.

"I don't want to speak to him. He's left me at least two messages a week, wanting to talk," Morgana shook her head. She was actually surprised he hadn't called daily. Perhaps he knew it would only drive her further away.

Merlin remained silent, and Morgana knew what he wanted to say. That she had to be mature and face this head-on and that he was there for her, blah blah blah.

"Fine," she said begrudgingly and fished out her mobile from her purse.

"Hello, Uther," Morgana said quietly.

"_Morgana. Thank you for calling, I_ – "

She didn't let him finish, "I need to tell Arthur the truth about you and my mother. I've been avoiding him so I won't have to lie, but I can't do this anymore. I think it'd be best if you told him before I did. Tell him at dinner tomorrow, or I will."

"_Morgana, please_," Uther started.

"It's your call," she finished and hung up.

Merlin stared at her and then snorted, "That's not quite what I meant."

Morgana smiled at Merlin and shrugged, "This seemed more convenient."

Merlin tried not to smile back, and settled for taking a sip of his soup.

* * *

Arthur stared at Uther from his seat to his father's right. His plate of food remained untouched. He was going to vomit then and there. His jaw quivered ever-so-slightly as he merely stared at his father. The man who had betrayed his mother, betrayed his best friend, and had lied to him his entire life.

He moved his mouth, unable to form the words. Morgana may or not be his sister. He could have a sister. He'd always hated being an only child, and having Morgana around made life less lonely. Now it turned out they could in fact be blood-related. But he'd been lied to. They had both been lied to.

"How could you do that to my mother? You said you loved her!" Arthur looked incredibly upset and angry.

"Never doubt my love for you mother, I loved her more than life itself, and I would give anything to get her back," Uther said, resigned, tired, old.

"Liar! You've lied to me, to everyone, for years. You hurt Morgana's dad, and my mum!" Arthur stood, pacing. He ran a hand through his hair. He had met Gorlois Lefay on numerous occasions, and was always happy to see the kind man. Merlin reminded him a bit of the late Lefay, now that he thought about it. Both were tall, dark-haired, lanky, and incredibly polite.

That wasn't what was important now, though. He glared at his father, blue eyes meeting green. Arthur wasn't sure why he never noticed how similar Uther and Morgana's eyes were before. He felt sick.

"Are you going to take a paternity test?" he asked blankly.

"Morgana doesn't want one," Uther said quietly.

"I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to be your child, either," Arthur glared.

"Arthur, please, understand," Uther tried, standing up.

"NO! I will never understand! I don't want to! I don't want to see you or talk to you or read about you in the papers or have anything to do with you!" he yelled and stormed out of the dining hall.

Uther stared after him, left alone in the massive home once more.

* * *

Morgana looked at her mobile, biting her lip. She was expecting a call from Arthur at any moment. Merlin washed the dishes they used for dinner in silence. He didn't want to crowd her. They were in Morgause's flat, though at the moment it seemed more like their flat. Merlin and Morgana both kept clothing in the bedroom, and they had added a few personal touches to the décor, including books and posters and pictures. It looked much more homey than it did earlier.

"Do you think Uther talked to him?" Morgana asked.

"I hope so. No one deserves to be lied to for so long," he said, and immediately felt like a hypocrite.

"Once this blows over, we can tell Arthur about us," she promised, and he nodded from across the room.

"It's fine, Morgana," Merlin said, coming to sit by her on the couch.

"No. It's not. I know you hate lying and hiding. I'm not a fan of lies, either," Morgana leaned into him, still watching her mobile on the coffee table.

Merlin wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"He'll call," he looked at the phone, willing it to ring.

* * *

Arthur knocked back another shot of vodka. He was on his fourth, no, fifth. Oh, and here was his sixth.

"Are you sure you're all right, mate?" Gwaine asked as Arthur waved him over to get another drink.

"Fine," Arthur grunted.

Gwaine looked at him sceptically, "Don't look it."

"Just get me another drink. I'm paying you, aren't I?" Arthur glared at the Irishman.

Gwaine shook his head and passed him another glass. As much as he himself was a fan of drinking, this was too much. Arthur looked murderous and he would not want anyone to get hurt on his watch.

He nodded at Lancelot and Gwen, who walked in holing hands. Arthur glanced at them and nodded in greeting. Gwen looked at him worryingly. He avoided her gaze and turned back to his drinks. He didn't want to see the way Gwen nudged Lancelot or the way his teammate looked at him in concern.

Gwen moved to a table and Lancelot sat down next to him at the bar.

"Are you okay?" Lancelot asked in genuine concern.

"Just peachy, thanks, Lance," Arthur said sarcastically.

"Would you like to sit with us since you're alone?" he asked.

Arthur looked at him strangely, then barked out a laugh, "I don't won't to intrude on your date."

"You wouldn't be intruding," Lancelot assured him.

Arthur shook his head, "I'm fine. Thanks, though."

Lancelot nodded and stood, "If you need to talk, you know where to find me."

Arthur watched as Lancelot took two glasses of ale from Gwaine and took them over to Gwen. He watched as Gwen's face lit up and she smiled. She was so beautiful when she smiled. He shook his head. Gwen had a boyfriend, and he had Sophia. There was no point in pining over someone so obviously uninterested.

So Arthur took another shot and pulled out his mobile. He found Morgana's number and called her. She picked up after one ring.

"_Hey_," she said over the phone, sounding nervous.

"You're my sister. Maybe," he hiccupped, laughing. He didn't know why he was laughing.

"_Arthur, are you okay_?" Morgana asked worriedly. A sister would ask her brother if he was okay, wouldn't she?

"Why does everything keep asking me? I'm fine. I'm perfectly fiiiine," he said, waving over Gwaine to get him another drink.

"_Arthur, you're completely sloshed,"_ Morgana sounded distressed.

Arthur laughed, "What did you do when you found out your mum was a liar and a cheater? Did you get totally shit-faced, too? Because I just found out my dad, maybe our dad, is a terrible, terrible person."

"_Arthur_," Morgana mumbled this time.

"No, you didn't drink, did you? You just avoided me and lied to me," his jaw shook.

"_Arthur, where are you_?" Morgana asked.

"You cried, right? Yelled at Uther. Then decided to not tell me a bloody thing," Arthur took another shot.

"_I'm coming to get you_," Morgana said firmly.

"Don't ruin your weekend with Merlin," he paused as Morgana let out a little gasp, "oh, shove off. You two are so obvious. Why would you lie to me? Keep lying? I deserved to know," he was talking about Uther again.

"_I am so sorry, but it wasn't my place to tell you_," Morgana tried to reason with him.

"You got to know first. Merlin knows, doesn't he? Told him everything, cried on him, let out your anger. I don't get to do that, Morgana, because I wasn't given the chance. We're friends! We may be siblings!" he shouted into the mobile.

"_Merlin has nothing to do with this_," Morgana felt like hitting something.

"You're a liar just like Uther," Arthur said quietly.

Morgana sat in the flat in stunned silence.

Arthur immediately realised what he said and cringed, "Morgana, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"_I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd be upset. Can we talk when you're sober_?" Morgana said emotionlessly.

Arthur nodded, though he couldn't see her, and the line went dead.

He took a few more shots, before standing up drunkenly. Before he knew it, a pair of arms were wrapped around him and he was being led back to the dormitory buildings.

"Let go, Lancelot," Arthur grunted.

Gwen shook her head, her arm holding Arthur's waist while he leaned into Lancelot for support.

"You're not well, Arthur," Lancelot unlocked the door to the flats and led him into the lift.

"Shove off, I'm fine," Arthur said.

"Give me your keys," Gwen said as the lift took them to Arthur's floor.

"No," he said like a petulant child.

"Arthur," Gwen glared at him and he begrudgingly reached into his coat pocket and handed her the keys. She unlocked the door and turned on the lights while Lancelot dragged him inside, helping him onto the couch.

"Do you have any tea?" Lancelot asked, glancing around.

"Lower cupboard," Arthur squinted. Gwen helped him out of his coat and draped it over the couch.

"Do you need anything? And don't say you're fine," Gwen said.

"Really, Gwen," Arthur sighed as Lancelot set a cup of tea on the coffee table. He'd been around the flat a couple of times with Merlin, so he knew the layout of the kitchen.

"Here. Have some aspirin for the impending headache before you go to sleep," Lancelot said with a small smile.

"Thanks, both of you," Arthur glanced between the two.

"What are friends for?" Lancelot asked, and Gwen nodded in agreement, smiling lightly.

Arthur nodded and took a sip of tea.

* * *

Merlin's arms were wrapped around Morgana as she stifled her tears.

"He hates me. I am so stupid. I should've told him everything," she mumbled.

"He's in shock, relax," Merlin said soothingly.

"I know, I know," Morgana groaned and pulled away from the hug Merlin had her in.

"You'll talk when he's not drunk," Merlin said lightly.

Morgana nodded and sighed, "I need some sleep."

Merlin nodded and she kissed him quickly before heading towards the bedroom. Merlin stared at the ceiling, wondering what insane family he'd found himself involved with. It was worth it, though.

* * *

_She and Arthur stared each other down, her wearing a dark dress, hair in tangles. Arthur looked older, so much older. They were in some grand hall of some sort, and Arthur frowned._

_"What happened to you, Morgana? I thought we were friends," he said painfully._

_"As did I," she replied, solemn._

Morgana opened her eyes, tears stinging them. She rolled over to face Merlin, and his arms tightened around her. It was reassuring to wake up in his arms, to feel the safety and warmth. Her dreams, nightmares, really, were going to drive her mad. Her subconscious had made her and Arthur older, bitter. She would not let that happen to them. They grew up together, after all.

She closed her eyes, trying to will herself into a dreamless sleep. Merlin had gotten her more medicine, and it had helped until now. Her brain was working overtime with stress and worry. She just found it natural to reason out the strange dreams she'd been having.

One thing wouldn't escape her mind, though. The one question she and Merlin had contemplated months ago: _Do you believe in magic_? She was certain, so absolutely certain that it existed. It may not be Harry Potter magic or Game of Thrones dragons and Old Religions, but it was there in the world, in small, lingering traces. She was sure magic is what brought her and Merlin together, what introduced her to Gwen, what made her so much less lonely.

But if magic, good magic, were real, why did it let her parents die? She kept thinking back to their funeral, and her childhood before their deaths. How Gorlois would always come home with flowers for Vivienne, how he would play with her in the garden, how he built her a swing set and was going to build her a tree house. He never finished the tree house, and Morgana didn't see the half-built walls when she was back in Ireland. It would have been too much. She wondered why her memories of her father were so much more vivid than her those of her mother.

Vivienne was a high society lady. She had married 'beneath her'. She was distant, aloof. She was a loving mother, in her own way. She made sure Morgana had dance lessons and piano lessons and tutors for each subject, but Morgana was still a child. She just wanted to go home after school and play with her parents, or maybe hang around Morgause if she was in town with her father.

Morgana took a deep breath and turned to face Merlin. She opened her eyes to see him sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly agape. She couldn't help but smile. His hair stuck out on end, his face stubbly with the beginnings of a beard, and his lips were pouty and pink. She brushed his cheek with her thumb gently and his hand instinctively caught hers, even though he was still sleeping. He mumbled something incoherently and wouldn't let go of her hand.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana ate breakfast in near silence. Her mobile was still on the table, waiting for Arthur to call.

There was a ring, and Merlin pulled out his own mobile. He didn't quite recognise the number and answered.

"Hello?" he said.

Morgana looked at him questioningly. He mouthed 'Freya' and Morgana nodded, eyes narrowing.

She had never met the girl, but the way Merlin talked about her made her uneasy. He had told her on the train how he still loved her, and always would. How she was up on some pedestal. It was before they started dating, but it still worried her a bit.

"Yeah, no. Are you okay?" Merlin said in concern, brow furrowing.

"Did you tell Will? Oh? Your parents? Yeah, yeah. That'd be fine. Of course."

A beat. Morgana took a sip of tea as she watched Merlin's face scrunch up into worry.

"I'll call you back, yeah?" he said, "Right. Bye."

He placed the mobile on the table and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Morgana asked.

"She got into a fight with her boyfriend and her parents are upset because they like him, so they won't let her stay with them while she works through her feelings or whatever," Merlin started.

"They were living together?" Morgana asked, brow raised.

He nodded, "Yeah. She can't stay with Will, since he's got a studio flat and he sleeps on the couch."

"So she wants to come to London?" Morgana guessed.

Merlin nodded once more and looked at her with pleading blue eyes.

"Do you mind if she stays here? I mean, we're usually at class and in our own flats," he scratched the back of his neck.

"Merlin, I've never met the girl. I don't think Morgause would appreciate a stranger staying in her flat," Morgana started, already feeling like a bitch.

"I understand," Merlin nodded, "I'll tell her to ask one of her mates."

Morgana bit her lip as Merlin picked up the mobile again. She felt terrible. She closed and opened her eyes quickly.

"She can stay with me and Gwen, if Gwen agrees. Let me call her now, okay?"

Merlin grinned, "Thanks, Morgana."

Morgana picked up her mobile and was surprised to see a message from Arthur. 'We need to talk.'

* * *

The two maybe-siblings sat across from each other in Arthur and Merlin's flat. Morgana had rushed over as soon as she received the message. Merlin had gone over to ask Gwen about Freya for Morgana, as she had more important business to attend to. She was distressed to find Arthur wearing pyjama bottoms and a tee shirt. His eyes were red and had bags underneath them. He looked incredibly pale and sickly.

"So?" Morgana said as they stared each other down at the kitchen table.

"I can't believe it," Arthur shook his head, numb.

"I really am sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want you to end up hating Uther," Morgana bit her lip.

"Too late," Arthur said emotionlessly, "I'm going over to get all of my stuff. I can't deal with him anymore."

"Arthur," Morgana looked at her foster brother helplessly.

"You did the exact same thing. Don't start," he huffed.

She knew she did. She knew she was a hypocrite. She just didn't want Arthur to regret this decision later, to realise years down the line as an old man that he shouldn't have cut his father out of his life. She inwardly cringed, because she was afraid one day she'd be seventy years old and Uther would be long gone, and she'd feel incredibly terrible about her actions. In time, she could forgive Uther for lying. Maybe one day, she'd want to know if he was her biological father, but today was not that day and Gorlois would always be her father. Always.

Morgana remained silent and Arthur continued.

"I need time to process. To deal with this," he sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had been crying, not that he'd admit it.

"Okay. I'm sorry," Morgana said again.

"You could've told me about Merlin, you know. I would've been happy for you. I am happy for you," Arthur said quietly, offering a shy smile.

Morgana smiled back and took her foster brother's hand across the table, "Thank you."

"Can we go back to being friends? Like when we were kids," Arthur asked.

"You mean me beating you at everything, and you complaining? Sure," Morgana smirked.

Arthur let out a short chuckle and shook his head. They were going to be all right, the two of them. They grew up together, blood siblings or just foster siblings, they would be just fine.

* * *

Gwen and Morgana stood awkwardly in their flat as Merlin introduced them to Freya, his ex-girlfriend. She was fairly short, had dark curly hair, and hazel eyes. She was pretty and small and quite frankly, adorable. Morgana could see why Merlin had fancied her for an entire childhood.

Freya smiled tensely, incredibly uncomfortable, "I am so sorry for intruding on you. I didn't know who else to go to."

She looked between Merlin and Morgana and Gwen.

"It's fine. A friend of Merlin's is a friend of ours," said Gwen politely. She'd make a wonderful diplomat, despite being an art history major. Merlin liked to tell Lancelot that he could paint and Gwen could analyse his paintings and that they could be starving artists together, only for Lancelot to tell him to shove-off.

Merlin set down Freya's small overnight suitcase on the ground and scratched his neck.

"You're nervous," Freya eyed him with a grin.

"How could you tell?" Merlin asked.

"You haven't changed a bit," she smiled and shook her head.

Morgana's hands curled into fists and Gwen sent her a look, trying to get her to relax.

"So, anyone up for tea?" Gwen asked. They were hovering in the doorway anyway, the may as well go get tea and a bite to eat.

Everyone nodded, and they were on their way to the café, Gwen calling Lancelot as they left.

It would be an interesting outing, to say the least.

* * *

**Arthur knows the truth about everything, yay! Gwen is still in the dark about the whole possible blood relation, though. Now she and Morgana have a house guest who Morgana may end up wanting to strangle for no apparent reason. Please review.  
**


	17. Awkward

**Oh, wow. Thank you so much for the reviews. Almost a 100. Just, wow. Thank you all so much for sticking with this story. Just, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I'm heading back to university next week (Wednesday) and won't arrive until Thursday. I'll probably be able to get another chapter in before I leave.  
**

* * *

**XVII**

Awkward. This was so incredibly awkward. They had crowded around a larger table at the café, with Gwen and Morgana sitting next to each other, Lancelot across from Gwen and Merlin across from Morgana. Freya sat at the head of the table, a bit isolated, sort of the guest of honour.

"So, what's your major?" Morgana asked conversationally. She couldn't help but notice the way Freya glanced at her nose ring and then at Merlin, as if she was trying to figure out what had possessed him to date her.

"Literature. I really love reading, and writing," she said with a gentle smile.

"Are you still writing those poems?" Merlin asked, turning slightly to face Freya.

She nodded, blushing a bit, "They're terrible."

"No they're not," Merlin assured her, "they're brilliant, really."

"Always the epitome of kindness," Freya shook her head. She looked down and smiled, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I bet they're wonderful," Gwen interjected.

Lancelot and Morgana shared a glance, and she smirked. He felt as awkward as she did. He didn't know what to say to this girl, his best friend's ex-girlfriend, especially when his current girlfriend was sitting with them.

"So, what are you all majoring in? I know Merlin can't decide between medicine and writing," she sent Merlin a grin, then glanced at the other assembled at the table.

"Journalism," Morgana shared.

"Art history," Gwen smiled.

"Business," Lancelot said, not seeming too pleased with his choice. If money and scholarships weren't an issue for his mum, he would switch to art and paint to his heart's content, but he supposed it wasn't meant to be.

"That's wonderful," Freya smiled, taking a sip of tea. She was glad Merlin had found a solid group of friends. Her eyes lingered on Morgana for a moment. She was surprised he had started dating so soon, though. She knew about Morgana. Merlin had all but flown away after a mere phone call from her.

"How's Will?" Merlin asked. He had spoken to him a few days ago.

Freya sighed, "He's fine, for the most part. Did he tell you about—"

"That girl in his class? Yeah," Merlin chuckled, "leave it to him to fall for a girl with four brothers."

Morgana nearly spit out her drink.

"Poor bloke," Lancelot mumbled, eyes wide. And he thought dating a girl with one brother was bad enough.

"She's tiny but fierce. I would've stayed with her, but she still lives with her parents," Freya elaborated, shrugging. Poor Will would end up with a black eye if he kept hanging around that girl. She hadn't even realised Arianne was a university student, she was so tiny, even smaller than her.

"I'm sure everything will work out for the best," Gwen said with a smile.

"You'll have to bring Will with you next time," Morgana said suddenly, "I want to hear embarrassing childhood stories."

Freya grinned, "Where should I start?"

"No!" Merlin put down his cup of tea, looking frantically between Freya and Morgana.

"There was one time he really had to pee when we were six, and Will suggested he do so outside," Freya started.

Merlin sent her a death glare and Freya stopped talking. Morgana pouted.

"Don't be so serious, Merlin," Morgana frowned.

"Do you want me to ask Arthur about embarrassing things you did?" he raised a brow, crossing his arms over his chest.

"The only embarrassing thing that happened to me was that he beat me at Monopoly once," Morgana quipped.

"I highly doubt that," Gwen murmured under her breath.

"Really?" Merlin asked sceptically, calling Morgana's bluff.

Morgana wrinkled her nose, "Shut your face."

"Rude," Merlin snorted.

"Ass," she countered.

"You weren't complaining about it the other night," Merlin smirked.

Gwen groaned and Lancelot sighed, shaking his head. They should've known this is how their friends' verbal sparring would end. Freya looked on in amusement, a bit confused.

Morgana bit her lip and tilted her head, an offer to get out of the café. Gwen closed her eyes in annoyance.

"Neither the time nor the place," she murmured.

Lancelot reached across the table and took her hand in solidarity while Merlin and Morgana continued to make eyes at each other.

"This got really awkward really fast," Lancelot mumbled to Gwen, who nodded.

Freya merely took another sip of tea and watched the scene unfold before it. She felt like a stranger to all of this, this world Merlin had created for himself in London, away from home. She had been distraught and a right mess when he told her he was leaving last May. She had yelled at him, raged at him, and told him he wouldn't fit in. All in all, she was a heinous monster for a good month. Then they made up and decided to be friends, and that was that. If she and Merlin couldn't be together, then she'd rather have him as a friend than lose him forever.

"Really though, embarrassing stories," Morgana veered back to the topic at hand.

Merlin glared at her, arms still crossed across his chest.

"No way," he shook his head.

Freya looked between them, still observing. Man, this was a strange bunch she had found herself in.

"Please?" Morgana leaned forward, green eyes wide.

"Stop," Merlin groaned, hiding his face in his hands. It was the same tone she used in bed.

"Morgana, stop propositioning Merlin in public. That's just gross," Arthur said, as he happened to pass by their table.

"Hi to you, too," Morgana scowled.

"Hi," everyone chorused, except Freya.

"Arthur, Freya, Freya, Arthur," Merlin introduced the two.

"Nice to meet you," Arthur nodded.

"Likewise," Freya offered a small grin.

"Pull up a seat," Lancelot said, scooting over for Arthur to have enough room to sit at the other end of the table, across from Freya.

"Yeah, Arthur. We were just talking about embarrassing childhood moments. Care to share a few about Morgana?" Merlin smirked.

Arthur sat down, and grinned wickedly, "Where should I start?"

"Go die in a volcano," Morgana grumbled.

"Back at you," Arthur's eyes glinted.

* * *

Two hours and embarrassing stories later (including, but not limited to: Morgana swearing in French in Paris during a trip as a child, Arthur knocking her in the head with a broom as they tried to play Quidditch, Arthur being repeatedly knocked in the face with a stick by Morgana as they played at being knights, Will pulling Merlin's trousers down to his ankles during the middle of an awards ceremony at the end of the year ages ago, and Merlin's awkward attempts at flirting with girls).

Gwen, Lancelot, Morgana, and Arthur were in stitches, and Freya tried not to laugh at Merlin's discomfort.

"Et tu, Freya?" he looked at his oldest friend (besides Will, who wasn't there).

"You were just really horrible at talking to girls. I'm sorry," she covered her mouth with her hand, stifling peals of laughter.

"How'd you manage to get a girlfriend, Merlin?" Arthur laughed.

"Shut up," he turned red.

"He just sort of broke down one day when we were thirteen and told me he fancied me, then ran away," Freya shared, looking apologetic.

"You ran away?" Morgana guffawed.

"So I ran after him and told him I fancied him too," Freya shrugged.

"Five years," Merlin groaned, hitting his head against the table.

"We were ridiculously boring," Freya wrinkled her nose. They really were. They had grown up together and agreed about just about everything. Then, towards the end of their relationship they started fighting about the dumbest things, for no reason.

"And just incredibly wrong for each other," Merlin mumbled into the table.

Freya nodded in agreement, "Five years."

She pushed her fringe away from her face, looking a bit disappointed. Like she had spent five years with a guy she really cared about and loved but he wasn't "the one".

* * *

Freya sat with Gwen and Morgana, who offered her some crisps while they watched _Doctor Who_. Merlin was always a fan, but she could never really enjoy the show.

"So, what happened with your boyfriend? If you don't mind me asking," Morgana said curiously.

"We got into a huge fight. He thought I was still hung up on Merlin," Freya snorted. Merlin would be the standard she'd hold every man to, and her boyfriend knew it, and was angered by it.

"Oh," Morgana said blankly.

Gwen just wanted to extract herself from the situation and leave. Quickly.

"Merlin's just, Merlin. I'm sure you understand what I mean. It's like he's not even real. Like one day you'll wake and he'll be gone," she took a deep breath, "I had to wake up. No one's that perfect."

Morgana frowned, "He's pretty damn perfect."

"And therein lies the problem. I was never good enough for him," Freya sighed, "Smoking was the one thing that made me feel like he was human like the rest of us."

"He quit," Morgana said suddenly, "well, we quit."

"He never wanted to quit when I nagged him about it," Freya smiled sadly, "this must be so weird. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Morgana said, chewing on a crisp.

Gwen had remained quiet throughout the entire exchange, not wanting to get involved. This was just awkward as hell.

* * *

Arthur had left two suitcases in the middle of the living room, making Merlin trip and fall on his face.

"What the hell?" Merlin grumbled as he got off of the floor.

"Sorry," Arthur said quickly.

"What is this?" Merlin asked, rubbing his chin.

"My stuff that was left at Uther's," Arthur shrugged, dragging the suitcases into their room.

"We have no room to put it," Merlin said, always the practical one.

"Sorry. I just don't want to have to deal with him," Arthur snapped.

"You and Morgana are so similar it's frightening," Merlin said with a shake of the head.

"She could be my sister, Merlin. Do you know how weird that is? To think you're an only child and then find out you could have a sister?" Arthur asked seriously.

"I can't imagine," Merlin admitted.

"I want her to be my sister, annoying brat she always was, even as a kid, but," Arthur paused, "I don't want her to have to deal with Uther. Her dad, well, Mr Lefay, was so nice."

"Arthur, relax," Merlin frowned, and made him sit down.

"It's not fair, Merlin. All those lies. He lied to both of us. He lied to my mum. He lied to Mr Lefay," Arthur's face scrunched up and he wanted to hit something. Merlin was the closest thing and he couldn't hit Merlin because he'd been a real mate lately and was only tiny.

"I know it's not fair," Merlin said, looking at his flatmate. He patted his back hesitantly.

"Now I get why Morgana told you," Arthur smiled a little, "you let people vent."

"It's a gift," Merlin quipped.

"I'm glad you're here, Merlin," Arthur said truthfully. He wasn't sure what he'd do without the weird Irishman who was so damn nice and (he hated to admit it) a good friend.

"Are we going to hug now?" Merlin raised a brow and moved his arms in the beginnings of a hug.

"Hell no," Arthur snorted, making Merlin grin.

* * *

Morgana shuffled into the living room sleepily. Her long hair was piled on top of her head in a bun, her glasses perched on her nose. She still wore her pyjamas and had nearly forgotten that they had a houseguest.

She quieted her steps as she moved for the teakettle. She had class in an hour and needed caffeine.

Freya was still fast asleep on the couch, mobile in her hand. Morgana raised a brow, and hoped she had made up with her boyfriend while she and Gwen had gone to bed.

She filled the kettle and set it to boil the water. She rummaged through the cupboards and took out a mug and a bowl. She opened the fridge and frowned. Of course they were out of milk. She made a mental note to head to Tesco after class.

Freya sat up and rubbed her head. She turned around and looked at Morgana with a smile.

"Morning," she greeted.

"Oh, no. Did I wake you?" Morgana asked.

"No," Freya said, looking at her mobile.

"Expecting a call?" she asked.

"From my boyfriend. He found out I was here and flipped. Said he was coming to get me, the arse," Freya explained, "then my mum called and asked me what the hell I was thinking, coming here."

"I'm guessing they didn't like Merlin?" Morgana asked curiously.

"They liked him well enough until we broke up and they thought he broke my heart," Freya shook her head.

"Did he?" Morgana asked softly. She really wanted to know.

Freya looked past Morgana, staring at the wall, "I used to think we'd be one of those couples who would get married after graduating and live in the town we grew up in, but the older we got, the more I realised he'd leave. He's meant for so much more, and I couldn't hold him back."

Morgana frowned, wondering if she would feel like Freya in a few years' time. That she'd be holding Merlin back.

"I missed him, yeah. He was my first love, and he'll always be, but we grew up," Freya finally looked at Morgana, "I shouldn't have come here. I should've known he's changed. That he has new friends now."

"You needed a place to stay," Morgana ignored the boiling kettle.

"And Merlin was there to help, as always. I should've stayed with someone else. I'm intruding," Freya shook her head.

"You're not," Morgana said. Lies. She wanted Freya to go back. It bothered her to no end that Merlin had been in love with this girl and still loved her (as a friend, but still, she was anxious).

Freya laughed lightly, "You're too nice."

"Me," Morgana scoffed, "you should see me on a normal day."

"Merlin left at the speed of light when you called during the holidays," Freya smiled a bit, "he really cares about you."

"I care about him, too," Morgana said.

"Just don't hurt him," Freya said quietly.

Morgana nodded, "Tea? Coffee?"

"If it's not too much trouble," Freya smiled tensely.

* * *

Merlin stood at the train station with Freya later that day. Morgana was still in class, and Freya had decided to go home.

"Are you sure?" Merlin crossed his arms over his chest.

"It was a mistake to come here and interrupt your life, Merlin," she sighed.

"You're not interrupting," Merlin frowned.

"Look, I talked to Steve. We'll work it out, together. I can't run away or come to you with every problem. I need to learn to stop relying on you," she admitted.

"I didn't know you were relying on me," he said.

"Five years is a long time, Merlin. We're not together anymore, for good reason," Freya said and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I shouldn't have thought there'd be hope for us."

"What?" Merlin asked in confusion.

Freya shook her head, "I love you, Merlin. Always will."

Merlin bit his lip and enveloped the small woman in a hug. She sniffed back a little sigh, and clung tightly to one of her oldest friends. This was really the end of their relationship. Now they could let go and be with other people, now they could be friends without hopes of ever reconciling.

"Love you, too. Always have," Merlin mumbled and kissed the top of her head.

Freya pulled away and grinned a bit, "Sometimes I think it's a shame we were never meant to be, but I'm glad. We weren't soul mates."

"I hope you found yours," Merlin said honestly.

"Thank you. And I think you've already found yours. Don't let her go, Merlin," Freya said gently, "and goodbye."

She stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. She backed away from him, waving.

"Goodbye, Freya," Merlin murmured with finality. It was the end of an era. Freya was once more his childhood friend, nothing more. He hadn't pined for her since around October, and he knew why.

He watched as Freya boarded the train and grinned upon noting the time. He could get to Morgana before her class ended so they could go for a walk together.

* * *

Morgana and Merlin walked together arm in arm. The snow had melted, but it was still cold outside.

"How are you?" Morgana asked.

"Fine, why?" Merlin said.

"Well, Freya left," Morgana clarified.

"She was here to clear her head. She did and she left. She wasn't going to stay," Merlin pointed out, "I didn't expect her to."

"But you loved her, love her, whatever," Morgana was persistent.

"Morgana!" Merlin stopped walking, "Let it go."

"We need to talk about how you feel about her," Morgana bit her lip.

Merlin rolled his eyes, "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," Morgana said monotonously. She wouldn't be asking if she didn't want to know.

"I love her. Platonically. I don't want to wake up next to her every morning. I don't want her to be the last person I see every night. I don't want to spend every holiday with her. I don't want to hold her hand or spend every moment I can with her," Merlin started to ramble.

Morgana's eyes widened, tears threatening to fall.

"No?" she asked.

"No," he said softly.

"Oh," Morgana said.

"You're really daft sometimes," he murmured.

"Shut up," she tried not to smile.

Merlin moved closer to her and cupped her face, kissing her. Morgana wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Good, this was good. She didn't know why she was so worried.

So they stood there, that cloudy day in February, arms wrapped around each other, kissing as if time had stopped and they were the only two people left on the planet.

* * *

Arthur stood in his father's study, feeling incredibly out of place. There were pictures on his desk of Arthur as a kid, and one of him and Morgana ages ago when they were just twelve.

"Arthur," Uther said tiredly.

He wondered if his father had always looked so old and grey.

"I'm here because you asked me," Arthur tried to look anywhere but at Uther.

"Arthur, please have a seat," Uther said, moving to sit at his desk.

"I'll stand, thanks," Arthur said roughly.

"I know you're mad at me, and that you're upset, but we're still a family," Uther said, looking at his son.

Arthur looked away, staring at a bookshelf.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Arthur asked. Betraying Ygraine. Lying to him. Why?

"I am so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me, but can we please just live as a family?"

"You won't answer my question," Arthur laughed bitterly, "Did you love Mrs Lefay?"

Uther took a deep breath and Arthur shook his head.

"Of course," he said shakily, "you never loved anyone in you entire life."

"I loved your mother Arthur, never doubt that."

"And Mrs Lefay?" Arthur pressed.

Uther rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I had loved her from afar, but it was nothing compared to how much I loved Ygraine."

"Yet you betrayed her. And Mr Lefay," Arthur shook his head.

"Gorlois was my best friend, Arthur," Uther tried to explain.

"Which makes it so much worse," he said in a low voice.

"I loved Gorlois like a brother, the brother I never had," Uther said, anger evident in his voice. He then sounded more resigned, "He meant more to me than anyone, except for your mother. Ygraine and Gorlois were always so untouchable. So perfect and kind and wonderful in everything they did."

Uther sounded wistful, remembering his friend and his wife. They weren't humans, not really. They were creatures sent to make him a better person, and he failed them. Long ago he thought Gorlois and Ygraine deserved each other, but they didn't love each other. No, they ruined their lives by falling in love with the wrong people.

"I don't understand you," Arthur looked at the floor.

"I didn't think you would. I am incredibly sorry," Uther said.

"Apologies won't fix anything. They won't bring mum or the Lefays back. They won't make Morgana feel better, they won't make me not hate you," Arthur said.

"We need to discuss this like civilised adults," Uther said.

"I'm done discussing this, Uther," Arthur said.

Uther's heart stung. Arthur had always called him 'dad'. Never 'Uther', always 'dad'.

"Goodbye," Arthur went for the door, leaving once more.

* * *

Gwen walked into the pub, alone. She inwardly groaned upon seeing Arthur sitting alone at the bar, knocking back shots.

"Arthur," Gwen greeted, sidling up into the seat next to him.

"Hi," he said, "care for a drink?"

"Sure," she nodded, waving Gwaine over. He passed her a glass of ale and Gwen thanked him.

"How's Percy?" she asked teasingly.

"Excellent," Gwaine grinned wickedly, winking.

Gwen laughed into her glass and watched Gwaine walk away.

"Is Lancelot coming by?" Arthur asked.

Gwen shook her head, "Nope. He's got to take some photos to the paper. He's with Merlin and Morgana."

"Poor bloke," Arthur shook his head. If he knew Morgana, and he did, she'd probably be trying to get Merlin to skip whatever it was they had to do in favour of a snog.

"I know what you mean," Gwen sympathised.

Arthur took another shot and Gwen glanced at him worryingly.

"I'm not going to have to drag you home, am I?" Gwen asked.

"No," Arthur cracked a small smile, "I'm not here to get pissed. Just thinking."

"About?" Gwen asked.

"My incredibly messed up family," he said simply.

Gwen frowned. She had heard Morgana complain, but she never went into much detail. She didn't want to pry.

"Family is family. You're stuck with them through thick and thin," Gwen said lightly, trying to make this person who'd become her friend, who she had immediately disliked, feel better.

Arthur turned to look at her, pensive. He smiled lightly and Gwen smiled back at him.

"Thanks Gwen," he said.

"I didn't do anything," she said, confused.

"You're here," Arthur said.

Gwen smiled and looked away. Since when was Arthur so nice? And he hadn't asked her out yet. He actually hadn't asked her out since she and Lancelot had started dating. As entitled and prat-like as Arthur was, he knew when to back away, and she appreciated it.

* * *

Morgana moaned, clutching the headboard of the bed tightly. She was incredibly glad that Gwen was currently not at home.

She and Merlin had left the journalism meeting early, as soon as they handed in their respective articles and received their assignments. Lancelot stayed behind, as there was a bit of trouble with uploading his photos onto the computer.

So they had went back to her flat, and now she was hanging onto the headboard for dear life as Merlin's mouth moved down her neck and his hand slid up her leg.

"What if Gwen comes home?" she said, the thought crossing her mind.

"I think you're loud enough that she'd know to leave," Merlin's mouth broke contact with her neck to reply.

"Shut up," she said, arching her back.

"Gladly," Merlin pressed a kiss to her lips and moved his hands up her legs, to her hips, waist, breasts, and finally to the straps of her bra. He pushed them down, exposing more skin.

Morgana let go of the headboard and ran her hands through Merlin's hair, tugging it. He leaned back and she sat up, kissing him roughly. His hand slid to her back, unclasping her bra, letting it fall aside.

* * *

Gwen immediately regretted opening the door when she did. Moans and grunts could be heard from the bedroom and she grimaced. Arthur, who stood next to her, turned a glorious shade of red, then purple.

"I'm going to kill him," he growled, stomping into the living room.

"Arthur, stop!" Gwen grabbed his arm. Morgana and Merlin were supposed to be at a meeting. Lancelot was still there when she called. Since Arthur was feeling bad about his family, Gwen decided to bring him by for tea to wait for Morgana. How was she supposed to know Morgana was already home and currently preoccupied?

"Let go! He's shagging my sister!" Arthur twisted out of her grasp.

"Sister?" Gwen asked.

"Foster sister, whatever," Arthur clarified, but he wasn't sure. He'd always been protective.

"Let's go get tea somewhere else, leave them be," Gwen grabbed his arm and led him back towards the front door.

Arthur nodded, still wanting to rip Merlin's head off. It was one thing to know that they were dating, it was another thing to have to hear them at it like rabbits.

"And no hurting Merlin," she said as she closed the door and they headed for the lift.

"Fine," he agreed begrudgingly. The doors to the lift closed and they were on their way back to the cool winter evening.

* * *

**So, Freya left with minimal drama, sort of. Merlin and Morgana are just fine, and Gwen and Arthur are getting to be quite chummy. Please review, I really appreciate it.**


	18. History Lessons

**Thank you for your continued support and reviews and favoriting, etc. None of my stories have ever hit 100 reviews, let alone passed it. This will be the last chapter for a week, as I'll be traveling back to university on a really long flight Wednesday (tomorrow) and then be suffering from jetlag. So enjoy!**

* * *

**XVIII  
**

Arthur held the cup of tea tightly in his hands, and Gwen sure that he'd break it. He was still a bit red and he looked mortified. They had gone to a café since getting a cup of tea at her flat wasn't an option, and Arthur mumbled something about his flat being a mess because he and Merlin hadn't gotten around to cleaning.

"Calm down," Gwen said, a bit amused.

"How'd you feel if you could hear your sister and her boyfriend shagging?" Arthur asked with a dirty look.

"Like vomiting," Gwen answered truthfully. She wasn't sure why Arthur referred to Morgana as his sister, but let it go. They were foster siblings, so she figured that was what Arthur meant.

"See," he said and took a sip of tea.

"Look, I get it. It's awkward for me too, they're my friends," Gwen tried to reason with him, "but I'm happy for them."

"I'm happy for them too. It's just weird. I mean, _Merlin_ and _Morgana_," Arthur shuddered.

He had always thought Morgana was a lesbian, or just never going to date since she never seemed to like any bloke for very long. And Merlin just seemed to be too innocent to date. Apparently, Arthur was completely wrong about Morgana's orientation and Merlin's innocence. He took another gulp of tea.

"I'm sure that's how Morgana feels about you and Sophia," Gwen shrugged.

Arthur bit his lip, wondering if he should tell Gwen that Sophia wasn't really his girlfriend, then decided against it. She already thought he wasn't serious about relationships.

"I guess you're right," Arthur said begrudgingly.

"Of course I'm right," Gwen grinned, not pointing out that what he said was the title of a song. Morgana would probably appreciate that reference more, anyway.

"So drink your tea and calm down," Gwen continued, nodding towards the cup in his hands. His grip loosened and he took a small sip.

* * *

Morgana hid under the covers, even as Merlin tried to drag her off of the bed.

"No," she said, curling against the pillow.

Merlin pulled the sheets off of her and shook his head. He was wearing pants and had found his jeans.

"Let me sleep," she grumbled.

"It's too early to sleep. Get dressed," he said.

"No," she snapped, rolling over to face the wall.

"Gwen called. Arthur wants to talk to you," Merlin said.

It was the phone call that had woken him up and made him stumble around the room trying to find his jeans because his mobile was in a pocket.

"Too bad," Morgana snorted.

Merlin groaned and crawled back onto the bed, straddling Morgana.

"Come on," he tried to make her look at him.

She tilted her head and smirked, "Well if this is what you wanted."

"Morgana, stop, it's time to get dressed," Merlin sighed.

She pouted and Merlin pressed a kiss to her lips She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled away.

"Really?" he asked with a small smirk.

"We've got time to kill," she shrugged, smiling.

* * *

For the second time that night, Arthur and Gwen walked through the door. This time, though, Merlin and Morgana were on the couch. Merlin was leaned back against it, with Morgana laying down, head on his lap. He was reading _Game of Thrones _(stolen from Morgana) while Morgana was flipping through a textbook.

"Hi," Gwen greeted, and Arthur nodded. He still wanted to smack Merlin upside the head but he was still so much smaller than him (though Merlin was actually taller, go figure).

"Hey," the couple chorused.

Arthur shed his coat and scarf and Merlin and Morgana set their books aside.

"So, I'm going to get going since you two need to talk," Merlin stood.

"Keep the book," Morgana said, standing with him.

He picked the book up and kissed her quickly, heading for the door. He put his coat on and looked at Gwen curiously. She was still wearing her winter gear.

"I'll be at Lancelot's for a late dinner, don't wait up," Gwen informed Morgana.

"I'll walk with you," Merlin said, and Gwen smiled.

"Bye," she waved at Gwen and kissed Merlin quickly as they left.

Arthur mumbled a 'see you' at Merlin and the door closed behind them.

Morgana sat down and Arthur sat down next to her. The two maybe-siblings sat in silence.

"I talked to Uther," Arthur finally said.

"Oh?" Morgana raised her eyes to look at Arthur.

"Kept apologising, something about my mum and your dad being perfect and the two people he loved the most," Arthur gulped.

"He sure had a great way of showing it," Morgana snorted bitterly.

Arthur cracked a grin and then turned serious once more.

"I really do wish you were my sister sometimes. But not if you have to deal with Uther," Arthur said quietly.

Morgana smiled sadly, "You'd be the best, most infuriating brother ever."

"Thanks," Arthur glanced at Morgana then looked at the floor.

Morgana looked at the floor, then at Arthur, and threw her arms around him in a hug. Arthur hesitantly hugged her back. They hadn't really hugged without being forced since they were about eleven or twelve, when they started to hate each other and the world. Well, Morgana hated the world, Arthur was just oblivious.

"I want to know, but I don't want to know," Morgana mumbled.

Arthur pulled away, noticing for the first time how similar their jawlines were, and shook his head.

"When Gwen found me in the pub, she told me that family is family, through thick and thin. You're already family, Morgana," Arthur said, "and I am so sorry for being a prat."

Morgana laughed lightly, "Good old Gwen. Sorry for being so distant and angry at, well, everything."

"It's fine," Arthur hugged his sister (because foster sister or blood sister, it didn't really matter, she was his sister).

"Have you decided what to do about Uther?" Morgana asked after a few moments.

"No," Arthur shook his head, "you?"

"Nope," Morgana made a face.

It was all right though. They had each other and they'd figure it out. Maybe one day they could face Uther without wanting to vomit or punch him. Maybe one day.

* * *

Merlin was reading as Arthur slammed the door shut. His hands were on his hips and Merlin looked up at his flatmate in amusement.

"We need to talk," Arthur said.

"About?" Merlin asked.

"You and Morgana," Arthur began to shed his coat and scarves.

Merlin groaned, "Not this again."

He turned his attention to his book and Arthur snatched it from his hands.

"Arthur," Merlin scowled.

"Don't hurt her, okay?" Arthur grumbled.

"Of course I won't hurt her. I lo-like her," Merlin defended, corrected himself.

Arthur stood still, dumbstruck, "You love her?"

"I didn't say that," Merlin blushed, looking away.

"You were going to," Arthur smirked.

"Shut up," Merlin stood and walked towards their room.

"You looove her, you want to marry her," Arthur called teasingly.

Merlin shook his head, "What if I do?"

Arthur's smirk vanished and he grew angry once more.

"You've known each other for like five months!" he glared, still in shock.

"Not now, obviously, but in the future," Merlin said honestly. He didn't know what it was, but he felt like he and Morgana were linked somehow, some way. The only thing he could think of was magic, and how Gaius had said it used to be so prevalent and now lay dormant all around them. They were both so in-tune to this 'magic' or 'energy' or other-wordly thing, like kindred spirits. Not that he'd say as much to anyone, anyway.

Arthur pursed his lips and Merlin stood by the door to their room awkwardly. He'd said too much.

"I don't feel like punching you anymore," Arthur offered.

"Why the hell do you want to punch me?" Merlin was taken aback.

"Gwen and I went to see Morgana earlier and heard, erm, noises. I wanted to kill you," Arthur said, completely serious.

Merlin turned bright red and his eyes widened, "Oh shit."

"Yeah," Arthur scratched his neck, "but since you care about her so much I don't want to kill you."

"Oh, thanks Arthur," Merlin said in a falsely upbeat voice.

A beat.

"You won't tell her, right? I don't want to scare her off," Merlin said worriedly.

"She won't be hearing it from me. Just keep the shagging to a minimum or at least away from where I could hear you," Arthur requested.

"Not a problem," Merlin promised.

* * *

Morgana and Merlin wandered out of their philosophy class, the former being severely annoyed. Morgana had gotten into an argument with the lecturer and a few classmates about how for all they knew, they could be dreaming and none of this was real and how 'I think therefore I am' could be a mind trick.

"Bloody idiots," Morgana grumbled, desperately wishing she had a cigarette.

"Calm down," Merlin snorted, obviously amused.

"Shut your face," she shoved him gently.

Merlin laughed, only making Morgana shove him harder.

"Gee, you're angry today," Merlin scowled.

"Help me vent my anger?" she raised a brow.

"I have a test tomorrow," he started.

She pouted and Merlin took her arm and started walking quickly towards the dormitories.

* * *

Arthur sat in the library, going through his calendar. Uther's birthday was in a week, and he didn't know what to do. Was he supposed to buy him a present and wish him well, and forgive him for everything? Was he just supposed to show up for dinner and be civil?

He decided he and Morgana should stand united and fished his mobile out of his bookbag. He clicked her number, only to have it go to voicemail. He supposed she was still in class, and would try back later.

He sighed. One week and his father would turn fifty. One week and he'd reach the half-century mark. One week and his father would be closer to death. Every day, they crawled closer to the end. It was incredibly morbid and Morgana-like to think that, but it was the truth. He didn't want Uther to die alone, without his child(ren). He didn't want to die hating his father, either. He needed to talk to Morgana, and soon.

* * *

Morgana and Gwen sat at their little dining table, poking at their take-away Chinese food.

"What's wrong?" Morgana asked.

Gwen had been quieter lately, more morose. Of course Gwen wouldn't tell her that anything was the matter.

"Nothing," Gwen shook her head.

"Gwen," Morgana raised a brow.

"It's Lancelot," Gwen admitted.

"What did he do?" Morgana's eyes narrowed. If he hurt her, she'd kill him.

"Nothing. He's a perfect gentleman. I think I'm the problem," Gwen sighed, stabbing a bit of kung pao chicken with a fork.

"You can't possibly be the problem," Morgana said.

"He's just always busy with the paper and football, and I'm always at the café, and he comes by to help when we're short staffed," she smiled a bit at the last thing. He really was sweet.

"So? If you really care about each other, it'll work," Morgana shrugged. They'd been together for only a couple of months, and she figured the honeymoon period was wearing off.

"We haven't ever, well, you know," Gwen admitted.

Morgana tried not to laugh, "What? Are you blind?"

"What?" Gwen frowned.

"Lancelot is fit, why wouldn't you shag him?" Morgana asked, smirking. He was handsome, she had to admit, but not really her type.

Gwen blushed, "I don't know. Something's stopping us."

"You need to talk to Lancelot about that," Morgana said gently.

"I know. I really like him, but I'm afraid we're either moving too fast or too slow," Gwen sighed.

"Talk to him," Morgana said simply. She would've thought Gwen was head-over-heels in love with the man by now, but something wasn't quite right.

* * *

Arthur and Morgana walked slowly along Oxford Circus, still unsure of what to buy Uther Pendragon for his birthday. It was their afternoon off and they had decided to try to at least be civil with regards to their father/guardian. Gwen and Merlin were currently off at lunch by themselves, because Merlin had mentioned how he missed just buddy-buddy time with Gwen, and Morgana had suggested the lunch. Gwen agreed readily because she missed the first friend she made at university. Lancelot was in class, but would meet with them later for a spot of tea.

"A tie?" Arthur suggested.

"He's got an endless supply," Morgana bit her lip.

"He's the Prime Minister, he has an endless supply of everything," Arthur pointed out.

Morgana nodded, "Maybe we could just get him a bottle of wine."

"Because us being there would be the best present?" Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, cold due to the frost around them.

"Think about it, Arthur. His own child has turned on him, left all alone to reflect on wrong decisions, bitter," Morgana didn't know why she was defending Uther, or why she was trying to understand him better.

Arthur remained silent and nodded, looking pensive.

"We'll get him something," Arthur decided finally.

* * *

Merlin and Gwen sat in the pub, laughing. They had finished lunch and had decided to head over to the pub to get something to drink. Merlin took a sip of his ale while Gwen merely tapped her fingers on her glass.

"You should've seen his face," Gwen snorted in an unladylike manner.

"He nearly strangled me at home," Merlin shook his head.

"I told him not to," Gwen frowned.

"Relax. He didn't," Merlin brushed aside her concerns.

"So, has Freya called?" Gwen asked gently.

Merlin nodded, "She and her boyfriend are taking a break. Her parents let her move back in with them."

"Oh," she frowned once more.

"She'll be fine. She's just so used to doing what everyone else wants instead of what she wants, it was hard for her," Merlin rationlised Freya's behaviour.

"You're not still in love with her, are you?" Gwen was concerned, for Morgana and Merlin both.

"Of course not," Merlin laughed, "what gave you that idea?"

"She was your first girlfriend," Gwen shrugged.

"And who really stays together with their first girlfriend or boyfriend for life?" Merlin asked.

Gwen looked somber, sad.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked.

"You said it, Merlin. Who stays in their first relationship for life?" she took a swift gulp of ale.

"Lancelot's your first boyfriend," realisation dawned on Merlin.

Gwen nodded and looked at the table.

"Ignore what I just said. It's not true for everyone, that first relationships fail," Merlin tried to reassure Gwen.

"Thanks, Merlin, but I don't need to be lied to," Gwen shook her head.

"What's really bothering you?" Merlin asked.

"Lancelot won't sleep with me," Gwen blurted out. She had lessened the harsh reality for Morgana because she knew Morgana would ask what was wrong with Lancelot and go and confront him. Merlin, on the other hand, was far more sensible.

"What?" Merlin felt incredibly uncomfortable.

Gwen mumbled something incoherently under her breath, turning a bright red colour.

"Forget it," Gwen brushed it aside. Lancelot was Merlin's best friend, so she probably shouldn't be involving them in their sex life, or lack thereof.

"Right. Look, just talk with him," Merlin shrugged.

"Morgana said the same exact thing," Gwen shook her head.

"Great minds think alike," Merlin smirked.

Gwen snorted, "You think highly of yourself."

"Only every other week," Merlin said seriously, making Gwen burst into giggles.

* * *

Arthur and Morgana were taken to the dining room, both feeling incredibly out of place. Their coats and scarves and gloves were hung in the foyer closet.

Uther smiled at them from his seat, and stood.

"Well, this is a surprise," he moved towards them. He tried to hug Morgana, but she stuck her hand out for a handshake, as did Arthur.

"Happy Birthday," the two chorused. Arthur passed a box covered in red wrapping paper to his father.

Uther took it, looking incredibly touched. Tears welled in his eyes and he sniffed.

"Please, sit," he motioned to them.

Arthur sat to Uther's right and Morgana to his left as they had for the past nine years.

"I don't know what to say, except thank you," Uther looked between the two young adults.

"Uther, let's just move on, yeah?" Morgana said, taking a sip of the wine Joane had poured in her glass.

"Of course, of course," Uther said, still in awe.

Dinner went on in near silence with smatterings of polite conversation about classes and football and the university paper. For the first time in a long time, an argument didn't break out. It was refreshing, but obvious that all three were trying to keep their emotions in check.

After a meal consisting of soup, roast beef, steak, potatoes, salad, garlic bread, quiche, and caviar (which no one but Uther really enjoyed), they retired to the living room for dessert and cake.

Uther sat on the small couch while Morgana and Arthur sat on the larger, plush leather one. Morgana tossed her wavy hair over her shoulder and watched as Uther opened the present, wrapping paper quickly torn apart. He lifted the lid of the box and burst into laughter.

Arthur glanced at Morgana, who shrugged. They didn't think the jumper was _that_ funny. Indeed, they had gotten Uther a red jumper with white and blue snowflakes.

"What?" Arthur asked.

Uther stifled back his laughter, wiping a stray tear from his eye, "Gorlois got me one like this over twenty five years ago."

Morgana let out a small smile. Leave it to her dad to buy a then hot-shot businessman a ridiculous jumper.

"I even have pictures," Uther said, quickly placing the jumper back in the box. He headed for the stairs, bounding up them rapidly.

Morgana and Arthur exchanged confused glances. Uther returned with a large, fat, photo album. He was already flipping through the pages before he even sat down. On the back cover a fainted scribble of 1980-89. Morgana did the math and realised that those were the years when Uther and Gorlois became best friends, when they were in university and afterwards.

Uther smiled at a page sadly and passed it to the children. Morgana's hand flew to her mouth, and she tried not to cry. There were Uther and Gorlois, arms thrown around one another. The photos on the opposite page were in black and white, but this one was in colour, faded, but still in colour. Uther stood tall and proud, wearing a hideous snowflake jumper. His blond hair was just that, blond, and not the grey colour it was currently. His friend, Gorlois, was thin and willowy, taller than Uther, even. He was slouching slightly, wearing a deep blue jumper with rolled sleeves. There were crinkles around his brown eyes and Uther was looking at his best friend admiringly.

Arthur looked at the picture, trying to remember details about Morgana's dad except 'incredibly nice and tall'. His jaw shook. They were best friends. They did everything together. They loved each other and cared about each other, and Uther ruined it all.

"We were so young then, so innocent," Uther murmured.

The photo was dated Christmas 1982. They were twenty years old, going on twenty-one. Morgana and Arthur wouldn't have been born for another twelve years. Morgause would be born five years later.

"Are there more pictures?" Morgana asked quietly.

Uther nodded, and Morgana flipped through the album. She placed it on hers and Arthur's knees and they looked through. There was Vivienne with Morgause's dad, laughing. There was a few photos from their wedding. There was one of Ygraine and Uther holding hands. Arthur stared at it, not realising he was crying. Ygraine was tall, blonde, blue-eyed, and just so beautiful. She and Uther looked like a couple in a movie. There was one right below it in black and white of Ygraine and Gorlois, heads leaned in close, in the midst of a conversation.

"That was one of Ygraine's favourites," Uther croaked, staring at his best friend and love.

The two nodded, and Morgana's face fell at the next one. It was of Vivienne, with her dark hair and blue eyes and pretty face, holding Gorlois's arm. The photo was dated from 1986, so she was still married, but not to Gorlois. She had clutched Gorlois's arm so possessively that Morgana wanted to yell. She had no claim over her father, she was married.

Uther noted Morgana's face and smiled softly, "He had gone to Ireland that year and come back with a lovely girl. I thought he'd marry her."

"Oh?" Morgana asked.

"Green eyes, red hair, spirited," Uther remembered the girl. He hadn't thought of her in ages.

"What happened?" Morgana asked.

"They grew apart," Uther said simply, "she's standing there in the back if you can see."

Morgana and Arthur examined the photo, noticing the small woman. Morgana shook her head. This was like time traveling to her parents' youth. She felt like she was intruding.

The three sat there in the living room, drinking their tea, eating their cake, and looking through the photos of yesteryear. Uther went upstairs once more to return with three more albums, some from the same time period and some dating until around 2000.

There was one photo of all of them around a round table, dated from 1988. Uther was in the centre, with Gorlois and Ygraine on either side. Next to Ygraine sat Vivienne and Mr Essiter, in his lap a baby Morgause. The ginger woman from the other photo sat next to Gorlois, and next to her sat Aggravaine. Morgana frowned. Aggravaine was in jail, and rightly so. Ygraine, Vivienne, and Gorlois were dead. Mr Essiter had taken Morgause (probably to protect her) and was still living somewhere in continental Europe. The unnamed ginger woman was who-knows where. It pained her to see this smiling group of friends so long ago, when now they were all dead or broken-hearted.

She thought to her friends' gatherings in the cafe. She, Merlin, Gwen, Lancelot, and even Arthur would crowd around the table and share drinks and stories. Occasionally Gwaine and Percival would join them, and Leon too, if Arthur was there. Though she thought Percy and Leon were pompous in sixth form, she was wrong. Percy was quiet and sensitive despite his larger stature and Leon was incredibly bright and thoughtful. She wondered if in thirty years, their fates would be the same as this old group at the round table, near twenty four years ago. She wouldn't let that happen.

Uther stared at the picture then looked at Arthur, who looked like he was about to cry. Arthur took Morgana's hand and Uther looked away from the children (who weren't really children anymore). He had lied to them for too long, and he was so incredibly sorry.

He sat with his child(ren) and told stories like they were little again and didn't hate them. He hoped, wished on his birthday candles, that his children (because DNA or not he considered Morgana his child. The daughter of his best friend was like a daughter to him) wouldn't hate him anymore.

* * *

**This one's less Mergana heavy, I know, but I thought we needed some Pendragon bonding time. Once again, I won't be able to update for a while because I need to pack and catch a pretty long flight. Please review.  
**


	19. Everything's Fine

**Sorry for the wait. I'm back at university, and things are starting to get busy around here. Classes start in a week so I'll try to update as much as I can. Thank you for reading and reviewing/following/etc.**

* * *

**XIX  
**

Gwen took a sip of the wine and looked around the restaurant. It was already March, and she and Lancelot had been a couple for three months. She smiled upon remembering how Christmas was their anniversary, and "Starlight" was their song.

Now Lancelot had brought her to this expensive-looking restaurant for their three-month anniversary that neither of them could afford and he looked so doe-eyed and sweet that she couldn't protest upon being told to be ready at seven for dinner.

Morgana had obviously played a hand in the planning and had gone so far as to pick out a dress for her, silver and subtly shiny. Morgana had arranged Gwen's hair in beautiful curls, pinned up with a few tendrils framing her face.

Gwen sighed dreamily. Everything was too good to be true. Merlin and Morgana were still sickeningly adorable (teasing, but adorable), Arthur was far less of a prat, he and Morgana didn't argue as much, and were still on speaking terms with Uther, and she and Lancelot…Well, she and Lancelot were never better.

They had a long discussion a few weeks back about why Lancelot was so shy with his affections, and why he wouldn't sleep with her.

_He looked down, embarrassed. He took Gwen's hand and brought it to his lips._

_"I didn't want you to think I was only your friend to date you. I didn't want to scare you away, or offend you," he murmured softly._

_His flat had been conveniently unoccupied as his flatmate tended to disappear often. Gwen smiled and wrapped her arms around Lancelot's neck, kissing his lips gently, then more fervently._

_"I thought you didn't like me enough," she admitted, relieved._

_"You are perfect Gwen. In fact, I think I like you too much," he whispered into her hair before kissing her._

The past month had been quite eventful, actually. Lancelot's birthday came and went towards the end of February and they celebrated with a movie marathon at her flat; Merlin, Morgana, and Arthur conveniently left mid-way through.

Merlin's birthday had been on the first, and that weekend neither he nor Morgana were to be found. A few days earlier Gwen had spotted Morgana return from the shops with a Victoria's Secret bag and when asked what she was planning, smirked mischievously.

Arthur's birthday was at the end of the month, on the thirty-first, and he'd been disheartened to know Merlin was the older of the two roommates. Morgana had burst out cackling with laughter and mumbled something about them being on two sides of the same month, which resulted in strange looks from everyone at their table.

Gwen shook her head and took another sip of wine.

"How were midterms?" Lancelot asked pleasantly.

Gwen frowned, "Please don't ask me about school, or work. Not tonight."

"As you wish," Lancelot smiled lightly.

Gwen brightened immediately and took another sip of wine. She took in Lancelot's appearance. He wore a button-down shirt and a blazer, he had shaved, and his hair was in its usual wavy, chin-length state. She loved his hair, a lot. She loved his warm brown eyes and his kind smile and his arms when he gave her a hug. She loved his lips when he kissed and she lost her breath for a moment. She had never had a serious relationship before.

She had fancied guys, sure. Even kissed a few, but never had she been in love or been in a steady relationship. It was a nice feeling. She liked it. A lot. She liked Lancelot a lot, too.

Her heart began to beat a bit faster and she was sure she was flushed. Lancelot's hand reached to take hers across the table and she grinned, earning a small, shy smile in return.

* * *

Merlin and Arthur sat in the pub with Leon and Percy. Morgana had gone to the cinema with Morgause, as she was back in town and wanted to spend time with her sister, especially since final exams were two months away and midterms had just ended. Except now it meant that Morgana and Merlin had to wait for Gwen or Arthur to leave their respective flats for some alone time.

"You're such a girl, Merlin," Arthur took a gulp of his beer.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, "Sorry for having actual feelings instead of stringing girls along."

"Oooh," Leon let out under his breath. He and Percy had started to hang out with Merlin and Morgana and Gwen since Arthur had started to spend more time with them. He had to admit, the group was fun to be around.

"Shut up," Arthur grumbled.

"If you don't care about Sophia, why stay with her?" Percy asked, genuinely looking confused. It was easy for him to say, he was completely besotted with Gwaine.

"I do like her. It just feels," Arthur struggled for the right word.

"Empty?" Merlin suggested.

Arthur nodded, no longer surprised at the way his flatmate could essentially read his thoughts. He had grown up with Leon as a best friend, but Merlin was slowly taking over that role. Merlin, however, claimed Will (who Arthur suspected was an imaginary friend, despite Freya having mentioned him) and Lancelot were his best friends. He frowned at the thought.

Lancelot seemed to have everything, didn't he? What was so special about him? Arthur snorted to himself. He was kind and sincere and genuine and loyal and noble and all that other old chivalrous stuff. That was why he got to have everything, everyone. Hell, before Percy met Gwaine, he had a bit of a crush on Lancelot after their first football practice.

"Then break up with her," Leon shrugged. He liked Sophia, but she was a bit dull.

Arthur remained silent, and Leon shook his head.

"So Merlin, how's it going with Morgana?" Leon veered back to the topic that had been at hand.

"Fine," Merlin said with a small smile.

"More than fine if she's locking you away for a weekend," Leon smiled wickedly.

Merlin nearly choked on his drink, Percy burst out in laughter, and Arthur looked ill.

"That's my sister you're talking about," he frowned. Foster sister, whatever. They knew what he meant. After all, Leon and Percy had gone to Avalon with them.

"And my girlfriend," Merlin grumbled, trying to catch his breath.

"Sorry," Leon laughed lightly, "no more girlfriend and boyfriend talk then."

Percy gave a little grin and looked towards the bar, where Gwaine passed out drinks tiredly. He caught Percy's eye and winked.

Leon shook his head, trying not to laugh. He was glad to see his friends, even his newer friend, so happy. Except Arthur. Despite what his oldest friend said or did, he knew Arthur wasn't happy, not in the least. He suspected Merlin and Percy were aware of that, too, so he had set a plan in motion in his mind. He would get Arthur to break up with Sophia, and get out there in the dating world.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Morgana called, waltzing through the door of her and Gwen's flat.

She frowned upon having no response. Was Gwen not back? She grinned at the thought. Good for Gwen, good for Gwen indeed. She tossed her purse on the kitchen counter and shrugged off her raincoat while walking through the living room. She knocked on the bedroom door and heard no response. She opened it slightly and found the room completely empty.

She shrugged and moved back towards the front door to hang up her coat. She moved towards the kitchen and picked up her mobile to call Merlin.

"_Hello_?" he answered.

"Hey, where are you?" she asked, wandering over to the couch.

"_At the pub_," he answered, "_want to come by_?"

"Actually, Gwen's not here, so I was thinking we could hang out a bit," Morgana said, twirling her hair around her finger.

"_On my wa_y," Merlin said quickly.

Twenty minutes later Morgana opened the door and grinned at Merlin.

"Took you long enough," she ushered him inside.

"Arthur kept stalling, trying to keep me there," he snorted in amusement and annoyance.

"Sounds about right," Morgana rolled her eyes and kissed Merlin on the cheek.

Merlin shrugged out of his jacket, thankful that the cold months of coats and scarves were over. Morgana had pouted upon the first sunny, rainless day, and bemoaned the loss of the ridiculous red scarf she wrapped around Merlin's neck.

At least now there was less fabric to get through to get to his neck, she thought.

She took his hand and led him onto the couch, and he sat down, Morgana on his lap.

"What did you have in mind?" he murmured into her ear and Morgana kissed him soundly.

"Not much," she whispered back.

"I don't think anything could beat my birthday," Merlin sniggered.

"Our first time?" Morgana leaned away from him.

"Also spectacular, but two days locked up in that flat?" Merlin smirked.

"Pretty mind-blowing," she smirked back and kissed his neck. She really, really loved his neck. All long and graceful and those collar bones that jutted out. Oh geeze, she needed to take his shirt off.

"Morgana," Merlin grunted.

Her hands had fisted around the bottom of his shirt, and his hands rested on her waist. He couldn't wait for warmer weather and less bulky clothes. The blouse she wore now was long-sleeved, but so much thinner than the thick jumpers of the winter that had just past.

"I'm pretty sure Gwen will be back late, or in the morning," she said.

"Morgana, we need to stop," he grumbled as she kissed his neck. She laughed against his skin and looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like all we do is shag. I should take you out on a date or something," Merlin frowned.

Morgana smiled, "I don't need dates. We could just stay in and watch a movie."

"Yeah, and half way through we end up on top of each other," Merlin snorted.

"It's great, isn't it?" Morgana asked with a grin.

Merlin laughed, "So, you don't want to go on dates like to eat or something?"

"We could wander around aimlessly and I'd be happy with you. I don't need anything special," Morgana said seriously.

"Okay, then," Merlin grinned, "want to go for a walk?"

Morgana glanced at the clock. It was already ten at night, and she licked her lips in thought.

"Tomorrow, when the sun's still out," Morgana decided, kissing Merlin yet again.

"Deal," Merlin agreed, deepening the kiss.

* * *

Gwen shut the door behind her carefully so Morgana wouldn't wake up from the noise. She took off her shoes and coat, hanging it up. Lancelot had walked her home as it was still fairly early for a Sunday morning, and she had been tempted to invite him in. She just didn't want Morgana's teasing comments and knowing looks. Gwen blushed and padded towards their bedroom.

She opened the door to find Morgana and Merlin huddled under the covers, pressed together on the small bed. Morgana had hogged the blanket, and Merlin was curled into a ball, one arm around Morgana, the other arm around his own shirt covered waist.

She smiled gently and crept inside to retrieve a change of clothes and a towel. She'd let them sleep. They looked so peaceful and content it warmed her heart.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana stumbled into the living room fully dressed (as they had fallen asleep fully clothed, much to Gwen's relief) and a bit disorientated. Gwen had made eggs and toast and poured them orange juice. She had already eaten and was reading on the couch.

"Morning," she greeted.

"Morning," they chimed.

"When did you get in?" Morgana asked.

"Two hours ago," Gwen smiled.

Morgana smirked, "Get it, Gwen."

Merlin snorted, trying not to laugh, "So I take it dinner went well?"

"Incredibly well, thanks," Gwen said.

Morgana took Merlin's hand and led him to the counter where their breakfast waited. They thanked Gwen and ate in companionable silence. Gwen 's smile faded into a thin line. Merlin and Morgana were so affectionate. Yes, Merlin was a bit shy, but he just lit up around her. Gwen sometimes wondered if that was the effect she had on Lancelot.

* * *

Merlin fidgeted in his seat. He felt incredibly awkward with Leon and Percival without Arthur. In fact, they were talking about Arthur.

"I don't know. His birthday's in less than a week," Merlin said warily.

"But Sophia is so not right for him," Leon crossed his arms across his chest.

"I don't like meddling in people's love lives," Merlin shrugged, "let him figure it out."

It was late afternoon, and they were seated in the café. Gwen was waiting on tables and Lancelot was at the cashier's desk because one of the waitresses quit and the owner had seen Lancelot help out and decided to hire him.

Arthur was unsurprisingly missing, as there was the unveiling of a renovated library in London, and he had to be there with Prime Minister Pendragon. Morgana had gotten out of the event by going dress shopping with Morgause, whose wedding was mere months away.

"But he's miserable," Percy pointed out, sighing.

"I live with him. I know he's miserable," Merlin said seriously, "but I don't want to intervene."

"Fine," Leon said, "we can only nudge him along, then."

Merlin nodded and took a sip of tea.

* * *

Morgana groaned as Morgause dragged her to yet another shop. They had been to three already, and Morgause had rejected Morgana's choices.

Morgause had also spent the past four hours interrogating, no 'asking' Morgana about Merlin and if he would be her plus one to the wedding.

"I don't know yet," Morgana frowned as they browsed through the shop. What she wouldn't give to be at the pub right now. She had always sort of idolised Morgause, her far-away older sister, but now she was brought down to reality. Morgause was just a normal person with quirks and annoying habits and questions.

"Well, tell him," Morgause said.

"You don't mind?" Morgana asked in surprise, pulling out a blue dress from the rack.

"Of course not. I haven't seen you so happy in a long time," Morgause smiled faintly. She glanced at the dress and shrugged.

Morgana took the dress and marched towards the dressing room. She just wanted this to be over. She hated shopping.

* * *

Gwen sighed in relief as the last customer left the café. Lancelot had begrudgingly gone home with the lads, not wanting to leave her to close by herself. Gwen had assured her she'd be fine and told him to enjoy some time with Percy and Leon at the pub. She was fairly sure Merlin had disappeared to see Morgana, who had returned from her shopping trip a few hours ago. He had mumbled something about promising her a walk around campus before taking off. Part of her wondered if it was safe to go home, or else walk in on them. Again.

She pulled on her jacket and zipped it up. The cash register was locked and all the left over food was placed in the back room's fridge. She exited the café and locked the door behind her.

"Gwen," she heard.

She turned around, surprised to find Arthur standing there. Apparently the library opening was over.

"Hi," she smiled at him.

Arthur smiled back, "Have you seen Merlin?"

"He left a while ago. Why?" she asked as she began walking toward the dormitories.

"Just wanted to talk to him," Arthur shrugged.

Gwen grinned, "You really are something, Arthur."

"What?" Arthur looked confused.

"You're a good friend, despite my first impression of you. I'm sorry I was so rude," Gwen said.

"I'm sorry I was such a clotopole," Arthur said seriously.

Gwen laughed, then Arthur let out a chuckle.

"I see you're using Merlin's word now," Gwen shook her head.

"He sort of grows you, doesn't he? Like a weed," Arthur snorted.

"I'm glad you're getting along. If you want to talk to him about Morgana, though, don't. Just leave them be," Gwen bit her lip.

"I wasn't, actually. I'm happy for them. I really am," Arthur replied honestly.

Gwen nodded, relieved. She did not need Arthur and Morgana to be angry at each other, and put poor Merlin in a difficult position.

"Oh. Good. Then about what?" she asked.

"It's nothing, really," Arthur shrugged, once again shutting himself away from Gwen.

"Maybe I could help," Gwen said gently.

"It's fine. Thanks, though," Arthur said.

"If you need to talk, I'm here, Arthur," Gwen said. She felt bad for him sometimes. His sister and flatmate (read: actual best friend) were always busy with each other, and Merlin was insistent that Lancelot and Will were his best friends.

"Thanks, Gwen," Arthur smiled a bit and they continued their walk toward the dormitories.

* * *

Gwen returned to her flat to see Merlin on his way out the front entrance. She smiled and shook her head in amusement.

"Arthur's waiting for you," she said as a greeting.

Merlin looked confused, then saw Arthur lingering a few feet away.

"Oh," he said, "thanks. Night, Gwen."

"Night," Gwen said, still smiling.

She watched as Merlin walked over to Arthur, who had been pacing, and shook her head. She had some odd friends.

* * *

Arthur and Merlin walked home in awkward silence. Arthur hadn't said what he wanted to talk to Merlin about, and Merlin was just plain confused.

"Sophia dumped me," Arthur blurted out near the entrance of the boys' dormitories.

"What?" Merlin's eyes bugged out.

"She said I was distant and not myself and blamed my new friends," Arthur grumbled as Merlin opened the door to let themselves in.

They went into the lift, then their flat. Once their jackets were hung up, the two flatmates sat on the couch.

"What did she mean?" Merlin asked.

"You, apparently. She also mentioned something insanely rude about Morgana," Arthur's eyes narrowed. He was obviously angry, as he was insanely protective of Morgana.

"What?" Merlin glared.

"She called her a bad influence, among other things," Arthur gritted his teeth.

"Arthur," Merlin said in a low voice.

"You'll be just as upset as me, or more so," he shook his head, "all that's important now is that Sophia and I are done."

"What'd you say?"

"I told her if she can't accept my family or friends, then we have no business being together. And I told her she wasn't my girlfriend anyway," Arthur snorted, sounding bitter.

"Arthur," Merlin sounded sympathetic.

"I don't know why I even 'dated' her. I guess it was a way to pass the time, to feel less alone," he shrugged.

"You felt alone?" Merlin said in surprise. Arthur had so many friends though, so many people who cared about him.

"Yeah. But then I saw how happy Gwen and Lancelot are, and you and Morgana, because you actually care about each other, and I knew I couldn't keep on with Sophia. I was terrible to her, and she was terrible to me in the end," he shrugged.

Merlin bit his lip and two pairs of blue eyes met.

"You'll never be alone, Arthur. Ever. I know it's not much consolation, but you'll always have me," Merlin said honestly.

"You're a really good friend, Merlin," Arthur smiled lightly.

"Really now?" Merlin snorted, trying not to smile or laugh.

"I'm glad you're here, Merlin," he said, serious again.

Merlin's eyes softened and he grinned. Six months ago, he wouldn't have thought Arthur Pendragon would become one of his closest friends, yet here they were. It was true that Arthur had been spending less and less time with Sophia. He had taken to eating in the cafeteria or café with Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, and Lancelot. Once he had started spending more time with them, Leon and Percy were quick to follow. It was nice, the group they had formed. Sophia, though, tended to stay for a few minutes and spoke only to Arthur, Leon, and Percy. She regarded Morgana with thinly veiled distaste and didn't seem to like Gwen at all. She was a bit warmer with Lancelot, and downright nice to Merlin on occasion, but still.

"So can we have that hug now?" Merlin asked.

Arthur rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Merlin's skinny frame in a quick hug.

"That's not so bad, is it?" Merlin asked as they pulled away from each other.

"Still working on the human emotions thing, sorry," Arthur joked.

"You'll get used to it," Merlin said brightly, "now how 'bout we eat some dinner?"

"I'm starved. I was at the library with dad all day," Arthur said, relieved that Merlin would cook.

And like that, they settled into a routine that had become familiar to them over the past few months. Arthur would set the table and crack jokes while Merlin would cook. Arthur was glad he had been stuck with this scrawny, dark haired man for the school year. He never had a brother, but he felt that maybe it was better that Merlin fill that role. He smirked. If Merlin married Morgana, they'd be like brothers anyway. That was a good thing, a very good thing.

"Hey, Merlin," Arthur started from the table.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Who are you going to room with next year?" Arthur asked. They had two months left of classes, then a summer apart.

"Lancelot, maybe, why?" Merlin said without thinking.

"Oh. Right. Of course," Arthur said, bright mood diminishing.

"Lancelot's flatmate is never home, though," Merlin bit his lip, "what was his name? Peter, I think."

"Right. You and Lancelot though, best friends," Arthur said brusquely.

Merlin smirked, "Are you jealous?"

"Don't be ridiculous Merlin. Be jealous of Lancelot? That's preposterous," Arthur scoffed.

"Arthur, you are aware that the dorms for second years have two rooms, right? And that in all likelihood, I'd rather live with Morgana but she wants to live with Gwen again?" Merlin crossed his arms, amused.

"Two rooms?" Arthur asked innocently.

"Yes. As in we can share with more than one person," Merlin elaborated.

"Oh," Arthur said, "Well I'd probably get a single room anyway. Less of a hassle letting you know when I bring someone over," he continued easily, as if he weren't bothered by the fact that Merlin's first choice of a flatmate would be Lancelot.

Merlin smiled, "You did want a single room in September. Sorry about that."

"Don't be. As strange as you are Merlin, you're nice to be around," Arthur rolled his eyes again.

Merlin laughed, "Is today share your feelings day?"

"I guess so," Arthur snorted, "that's enough for about a year."

Merlin nodded solemnly and returned his attention to dinner.

"We don't have to turn in the roommate forms for months, anyway," he said suddenly.

Arthur nodded in agreement.

* * *

_She was choking again, and she was pushing Merlin away. Tears stung both of their eyes. She was betrayed. Confused. Hurt. She didn't understand what was happening. Why was she on the ground, Merlin cradling her, looking like it was the end of the world? Where were they? What was happening to them?_

Morgana awoke with a start and looked around her bedroom. She slipped off her bed and turned on a small lamp before rummaging through her dresser for the vial Merlin had given her. Her nightmares were less consistent lately, but when they hit, they were terrible. She downed it all in one go and went back to bed for a peaceful slumber.

* * *

**Morgana's nightmares and just what exactly the 'magic' Merlin had talked to about Gaius way back when will be addressed soon, as will Morgana's parents. I hope the knights of the roundtable essentially all being friendly was nice to read. Please review, I really appreciate it.  
**


	20. Birthdays

**There's some time-skipping here to move the story along. Thank you for reading/reviewing/following, etc.**

* * *

**XX  
**

Uther Pendragon always made a spectacle out of his only son's (child's?) birthday. He wanted to know for certain if Morgana was in fact his daughter, but she didn't want to know or she didn't care – Gorlois would always be her dad, so he didn't press the matter. That wasn't of importance anyway, since he'd always care for the girl in any way he could.

What was important now was Arthur's birthday. The actual day of his birth nineteen years ago felt like a miracle. He'd never seen Ygraine so happy. They were thrilled. Then she went pale, like a ghost, and the doctors threw him into the waiting room while she was pushed to an operating room. And just like that, she was gone. Maybe that's why he tried to make Arthur's birthday so over-the-top each year. So he wouldn't remember that the day of his birth was the day of his mother's death.

The entirety of Arthur's primary school class and later six form classmates were always invited. Now as a young man turning nineteen, Uther was determined to make it the best birthday yet. Obviously, Arthur's twenty-first would have to be the best ever, but for now, this year's had to be magnificent. He wanted to make up all the lies to Arthur somehow, but any common sense would've made sure _not_ to invite people Arthur had once been friends with and no longer spoke to.

The party wasn't even taking place on the thirty-first. Arthur's birthday had fallen on a Thursday, so the party was saved for the night of April 1st. Arthur wasn't sure whether to laugh or be annoyed at the fact that April Fools' was the night of his big party. It all felt like a cosmic joke to him, anyway, seeing as how hundreds of people had been invited but he only spoke to maybe two dozen at most, and of those two dozen only ten or so were real friends. It also felt like a cosmic joke that his mother had died the day before April Fools', but now wasn't the time to dwell on it.

Arthur stood in the club Uther had rented out for the night uncomfortably. Sophia had been invited for some reason, and he was currently trying to hide from the blonde woman. He thought hiding behind Percy would be a good idea, but unfortunately for him, Percy was currently dancing with Gwaine, the latter of whom was whipping his hair back and forth to the music.

So, he couldn't hide behind Percy. Fine. He skulked petulantly over to the table where Morgana and Merlin sat. It was his birthday and he was miserable, hiding out with his sister and flatmate.

Morgana was trying to avoid anyone from Avalon (save for Leon and Percival) and Merlin was humouring her by sitting with her instead of joining the strange dance circle Gwaine had dragged Lancelot and Gwen into.

"Cheer up," Merlin smiled at his friend.

"If your ex was here trying to either snog you or kill you, what would you do?" Merlin asked.

"Change my name and flee the country," Merlin quipped easily in a deadpan tone.

Morgana snorted, trying not to choke on her drink.

"Exactly!" Arthur shouted.

"Arthur, relax and enjoy your party," Morgana shook her head and stood, dragging Merlin to the dance floor.

Merlin shrugged at Arthur as he glared at the pair.

Merlin wrapped his arms loosely around Morgana's waist and she moved her arms around his neck. They swayed to the music, Morgana's skirt swaying a bit as well. It was short and black, and she had paired it with a green blouse, tights, and thick heels. Merlin wore a check black and green shirt, with black trousers, and Morgana had laughed upon seeing him because they matched. Again.

Before long, Gwaine had pulled them into his dance circle. Merlin bopped awkwardly to the tune because he only knew how to slow dance. Without warning, Gwaine had Gwen and Morgana on each arm and was spinning them about, much to Merlin's amusement and Lancelot's chargin. Gwaine flirted with pretty much anything that moved, but despite his flirtatious behaviour, he seemed to be as besotted with Percy as Percy was with him.

Gwaine gently twirled the girls back to their respective dates before dancing (no, sauntering) up to Percy.

"C'mon then love," he mumbled to the taller man and took his hand, leading him into a slowdance.

Morgan grinned with joy and clapped her hands together giddily. She latched herself onto Merlin's arm.

"What's got you so happy?" Merlin asked.

"I'm mentally planning their wedding," she admitted, leaning into his ear.

"Like Gwen and Lancelot's?" Merlin snorted with mirth.

"I'm thinking spring for both," she said, only half-serious.

"You're insane," Merlin shook his head, wrapping his arms around her once more.

She shrugged, "You have incredible taste."

"That I do," Merlin kissed her softly.

They remained like that, swaying softly, most definitely not in time to the music, even as it changed to an up-tempo song. They were having a better time than the birthday boy, and though they both felt slightly guilty at that, there wasn't much they could do.

Arthur knocked back a drink a few yards away, watching the happy couples (and happy, carefree, single Leon) dance and joke around. Stupid birthday, stupid Sophia.

Gwen sank into the plush seat across from him and smiled comfortingly.

"You're the life of the party," she stated.

"Having fun?" he asked, taking a sip.

"It'd be more fun if you were enjoying yourself," Gwen said truthfully.

"You look beautiful, Gwen. You always do, but, yeah, you're just really pretty," Arthur said, wondering how the compliment got away from him.

Gwen blushed and regarded her pale purple blouse and dark trousers. She thought she looked perfectly average.

"Thanks, Arthur," she nodded politely.

She looked over her shoulder to see Lancelot being pulled into a dance with an extremely drunk Leon, and she grinned. Lancelot was being a good sport, as always.

"Looks like you've got some competition," Arthur grinned slightly.

"I'm not too worried," Gwen smiled.

"Want to dance?" Arthur asked suddenly.

Gwen bit her lip and then nodded. Why not?

They moved to the dance floor, and Gwen had to admit that Arthur could move well.

Morgana glanced over at the dancing pair and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked.

"That," she nodded over to them.

"They're just dancing," Merlin said in confusion.

"Arthur fancies Gwen," she sounded exasperated.

"But she's – "

"Dating Lancelot, yes I know," she finished his thought, "but still, Arthur can be quite charming when he wants to be."

"Gwen and Arthur," Merlin laughed under his breath, "how weird would that be?"

Morgana chuckled in agreement. She turned her attention towards the drunken dancing between Leon and Lancelot, then pursed her lips when she saw Elena interrupt and begin to dance with Lancelot. Vivian, one of the prissy princesses from Avalon Prep, had been knocking back drinks at the bar and stood on wobbly legs. She latched herself onto an equally drunk Leon, and the result was a domino effect of partiers falling over.

Morgana looked at Merlin, who shook his head, telling her to let it go. She huffed and wrinkled her nose. Merlin laughed at her, and she swatted him with the back of her hand lightly.

"Shut up," she frowned.

"You're far too invested in other people's love lives," he snorted.

"I'm a wingman," she pouted.

"Whatever you say," Merlin said soothingly and spun her around.

She laughed, forgetting what she had been complaining about.

The night wore on that way, with dancing and laughing. Arthur was no longer sulking in a corner, and had found himself the centre of attention when Uther, the Prime Minister himself, had arrived with the cake. Tonight he wasn't the Prime Minister, though. He was merely Arthur's dad.

The aging man had walked into the club with bright colourful lights and loud music with a wince. He was too old for this. He scanned the large crowd for his son or ward. He had to do a double-take when he spotted two people who appeared to be Vivienne and Gorlois, with dark hair and slim frames dancing closely. He was taken back twenty years in time as he watched his best friend, the man he loved like a brother, and the woman he had fancied from afar for years. He suspected it was the lights playing tricks on him. That had to be it.

The couple turned around and he realised it was Morgana and a young man he'd never met. Morgana looked exactly like Vivienne, except for the eyes. She had Gorlois's spirit, though. This tall, thin man resembled Gorlois so much Uther wanted to cry. Except his eyes were different. They weren't the deep, warm inviting brown of his old friend's. No, this man's eyes were bright blue and laughing, and he had hunched his back a bit to be eye-level with his dance partner as he whispered something that made her smile.

He watched as Arthur walked over to them, drink in hand. The stranger smiled and Arthur patted his back, all the while Morgana shook her head in thinly veiled amusement.

Uther shivered. It was like looking at one of the old photo albums come alive, but instead of himself, Gorlois, and Vivienne, it was Arthur, Morgana, and a friend of theirs. He suspected that it might be Merlin, the flatmate Arthur had hated on-sight but now seemed to admire and respect.

He turned away and went towards the back room where the cake was. He'd wish Arthur a happy birthday and be on his way. There was no need to stay.

* * *

At the end of the night, most of the guests had left. Arthur stumbled over to Merlin drunkenly and used his flatmate for support.

"And thus ends another night of debauchery," Merlin said with a smirk.

"Are you going to be all right getting him home?" Morgana wrinkled her nose. Her foster brother (brother?) was completely hammered and Merlin, being the good friend he was, would take care to make sure he didn't fall flat on his face.

"Yup," Merlin said and pressed a quick kiss to Morgana's lips, ignoring Arthur's fake retching sounds of disgust.

They decided to take two taxis, one for Morgana and Gwen, and the other for Lancelot and the two flatmates. They bade their farewells and went on to their respective flats.

* * *

Merlin was in the shop to help Gaius early in the morning, despite a bit of a hangover. He wrote down titles of medical texts and anatomy books in the ledger he held. He stifled a yawn and went back to the front desk and typed in the book titles onto the computer (that Merlin and Hunith had convinced Gaius to buy the last summer).

The door opened and Merlin greeted the customer, making quick work of directing her to a new physiology and anatomy textbook. She thanked him with a smile and went on her way armed with her purchase.

Merlin moved back to the bookshelves, away from the medical and technical books. He spotted an old looking tome and pulled it off of the shelf, nearly dropping it. He wasn't weak, but the weight of the book surprised him. He dragged it back to the desk and flipped it open.

_Myths and Magic. _Magic. The one thing that kept running through his mind over and over again: magic. Gaius had said that it still existed in small amounts all around them. Merlin had reflected back and remembered that he did in fact do some weird, strange things as a child. There was the odd mishap with a ladder, somehow stopping a falling plate in midair, and the like. But as he got older those incidents became few and far in between and by the time he became a teenager, they had disappeared completely.

He flipped through the book, trying not to snort in amusement at the spells. 'Topspringe', really? He landed on some sort of legend and began to read.

'_In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rested on the shoulders of a young warlock. It was his destiny to help the Golden King unite the lands of the north, south, east and west into one grand kingdom. The time would be known as the Golden Age, where magic and the arts would flourish. The Sorcerer and King, known to be two sides of the same coin, had their futures joined forever._

Merlin frowned as he read. This was the story his mum used to tell him, about the sorcerer and the King, and the Lady who was magical. All the knights, the betrayals, the lies, the love, all of it was from some silly old legend. And here he thought his mum had been creative. He kept reading, recalling the same old bedtime story. The Sorcerer and the Lady (or Princess, in his mum's version) fell in love but then he was warned of her innate evil and things just went wrong, starting with poison. Like completely and terribly wrong.

Merlin didn't care to read anymore and closed the book shut. Morgana seemed to like mythology and history, so he could probably take it to her if Gaius didn't mind.

Gaius came out of the back room with a small vial, and handed it to Merlin.

"Get this to Morgana, will you?" he said.

"Of course," Merlin furrowed his brow. He didn't know that Morgana was still having nightmares.

"Excellent," Gaius said, then eyed the book, "some recreational reading?"

"I thought Morgana might find it interesting," he shrugged.

"Keep it. No one's interested in old stories anyway," Gaius said, peering at Merlin curiously.

"What?" Merlin asked.

"Nothing," Gaius smiled thinly before telling Merlin to get back to work.

* * *

Morgana scanned the morning news on her laptop while nibbling on some toast and drinking coffee. She had a slight hangover (though probably not as bad as Arthur's) and needed to take it easy.

She nearly choked on her toast as she read the news of Aggravaine Brittany Du Bois's trial being moved up to the end of the month instead of the beginning of June. Apparently the Prime Minister as well as the Justices of the Supreme Court wished to try him for the deaths of the Lefays as well as for dealing with hazardous substances during his time as head of Uther's former corporation.

Morgana took a deep breath. This was good news. There was evidence. Everything would be fine. She just snorted bitterly at the light Uther was portrayed in – betrayed by his brother-in-law and deceived. She shook her head and set her laptop aside to continue eating.

Gwen wandered in a few minutes later, wearing a zip-up hoodie over her pyjamas. She shivered and moved to turn the radiator on.

"Morning," she greeted.

"Morning. There's coffee and eggs," Morgana said.

Gwen smiled, "Thank God Merlin taught you how to cook."

Morgana looked offended, "I could cook before Merlin."

Gwen stared at her with a raised brow.

"I could pour milk into cereal and make toast," she elaborated sheepishly.

Her roommate grinned and padded into the kitchen to fix herself a plate of the eggs and toast. She took a bite and tilted her head.

"Not bad," Gwen nodded.

"Shut up. I'm a great cook," Morgana pouted.

"Whatever you say," Gwen chuckled and slid into the seat at the kitchen table across from Morgana.

"Hey Gwen, everything between you and Lancelot's is okay, right?" she asked curiously.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Gwen took a bite of toast, confused.

"Well, you were dancing with Arthur, and—"

Gwen cut her off with a laugh, "He was miserable, Morgana. It was a friendly gesture. Relax."

"Despite his prat-like ways and snobbery, he can be charming, and I don't want you to get hurt," Morgana bit her lip, cup of coffee held in midair.

"Morgana, I don't fancy Arthur. How could I when I have Lancelot?" Gwen asked, looking dreamy for a moment.

That's when Morgana figured she had nothing to worry about, and let herself relax.

* * *

Merlin walked into the flat after being buzzed in by Gwen. Morgana was currently in the middle of reading for class, and hadn't heard over the music playing loudly in her earbuds.

Morgana looked up from her perch on the couch and turned off her ipod, setting it aside. Gwen offered Merlin some tea just as the water in the kettle boiled. He accepted and settled onto the couch, shedding his brown jacket that he wore literally all the time.

Morgana kissed him on the cheek and Merlin took out an old, worn book from his bag.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Myths and spells. The story my mum used to tell me is in there. Guess there was some history to it," he shrugged.

Morgana flipped through book, obviously interested. She grinned at the spells.

"Can I turn Arthur into a toad?" she read the foreign, ancient words. This would've interested Nimueh. She was into the whole pagan magic thing more than anyone she knew. In sixth form she had a feeling Nimueh would one day go all Dark Willow on them. Then that just made her realise that the actor who played Giles and Uther looked nearly identical, and burst out laughing at the thought of Uther in a wizard's hat and singing. Just thinking about it now made her smile.

"Probably not," Merlin said while Gwen looked at her as if she had gone barmy.

"What's so funny?" Gwen asked.

"I just imagined Uther as Giles," she said, stifling laughter.

Merlin snorted and Gwen clapped a hand over her mouth.

"How did I not see the resemblance before?" Gwen said. She had been a Buffy fan for ages and just now saw the similarities between the Watcher and Prime Minister.

Merlin chuckled and wondered briefly how the hell Morgana's train of though worked to get from spells to Buffy. Oh. Willow and Giles had magic (Giles not so much after a rebellious youth or something), Giles looked like Uther. He understood now.

"I should get Uther some tweed for Christmas," she made a note for herself.

* * *

April wore on quicker than anyone would've liked. Finals were approaching in the following month, and it was time for Morgana's birthday on the twentieth. A small party was thrown in the pub (where else?) after she refused a big blowout like Arthur's party had been.

Morgana, Merlin, Gwen, Arthur, Lancelot, Percy, and Leon sat crowded around a table, drinking and laughing. Gwaine swung by after his shift and made everyone smile by sitting on Percy's laugh. The pair was adorable and it was contagious.

"You two make me sick," Leon teased.

"You're just jealous," Gwaine quipped, "that you couldn't get your hands on Percy first."

"I'm right here," Percy mumbled, a bit quiet. He was really the strong, quiet type.

"Enough arguing," Arthur interrupted the bickering, "we're here because the most annoying woman I know has a birthday. For some strange reason, no one has killed her yet despite her aggravating nature. So, Happy Birthday, sis," Arthur finished, holding up a bottle of beer. _Foster sister_, everyone at the table substituted in their minds.

Morgana stuck her tongue out at him, and laughed.

"Worst speech ever," Morgana shook her head.

"That was quality right there," Arthur looked offended.

"Oy, shut up and drink," Merlin intervened, looking between the two foster siblings.

"Here, here!" Gwaine said, agreeing readily.

"Bloody Irishmen," Leon snorted good-naturedly.

Merlin, Morgana, and Gwaine immediately turned to face him, no matter where they were seated.

Lancelot chuckled and Gwen tried not to laugh.

"Have something to say, Leon?" Morgana glared behind her thick-framed glasses.

"You're all wonderful," he grinned.

"Thought so," Morgana smirked. Merlin shook his head and Gwaine tossed his hair back.

"We're hot and you know it," Gwaine quipped.

"We should start a band," Morgana said wryly.

Arthur made a face, "It'd be all hair and pretty. Not you, though, Morgy."

"You haven't called me Morgy in ages," Morgana snorted, "and shut your face, I'm gorgeous." So Arthur thought Gwaine and Merlin were pretty. Huh. Interesting.

She turned to Merlin and raised a brow.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Merlin said honestly, "sorry Gwen," he added as an afterthought.

"Not a problem," Gwen said with a smile.

"Hey, Gwen is incredibly beautiful," Lancelot frowned. Gwen placed a hand on his arm and told him to let it go.

The night went on the same way, with jokes and laughter and getting incredibly sloshed. Morgana thought it was the perfect birthday, the best she'd had since her parents had died. Everything had fallen into place. She had friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and Aggravaine was rotting in a jail cell somewhere. It was too good to be true, yet there it was.

* * *

May. Crunch time. Finals were in less a week. Everyone had taken to camping out in the library to study and read and exchange notes and ideas with classmates. The book of myths had been cast aside, and Morgana decided to read it properly during the summer holidays.

No one was quite sure how time had gone by so quickly, and besides the last-minute panic of studying, Morgana was more annoyed than anything else. Gwen sat across from her, eyes scanning a textbook as she made notes for her chemistry final. Merlin sat next to Gwen, helping her with the equations, as he had the same professor the semester before.

Morgana scowled at her literature notes. She didn't remember more than half of the class, truth be told. She wondered where the time had gone. It felt like yesterday she was in the Lefay estate tearing through her father's documents to find evidence. It felt like yesterday Merlin had abandoned a longer holiday at home to be with her in her time of need.

She looked up from her notes and smiled at Merlin, who was still helping Gwen with a formula. He looked up slowly and smiled back, tilting his head in confusion as to why exactly she was smiling at him so lovingly. Morgana shook her head and glanced at her notes again before looking at him once more.

"Do you want to be alone?" Gwen asked in obvious amusement at their little staring contest.

"No. We've got studying to do. Maybe later," Morgana said.

Merlin merely smiled and scratched the back of his head.

* * *

It was odd, leaving the flat she had called home for two semesters. Gwen would be back with her dad and brother by the end of the day. She'd be back at the Pendragons', despite Morgause telling her to stay in her flat. Morgana couldn't go back to that flat, not without Merlin. But Merlin was going home to his mum because she was all alone.

Yes, he'd go with her to Morgause's wedding (in France, in exactly six weeks), but that was it. They'd be there for two days and he be back in Ireland and she'd be stuck in London and that would be it until September. It was a terrible thought. Yes, she could still spend time with Gwen and Lancelot, and even Arthur, but it wouldn't be the same.

Morgana stood at the front of the dormitory building, watching as Gwen greeted her dad joyfully. She made a mental note to plan something for her birthday at the end of June. A nice dinner or something.

"Don't be a stranger," Gwen said while enveloping Morgana into a tight hug.

Morgana fought the urge to cry. For heaven's sake Gwen was scarcely going to be a half hour away. Then again, Gwen was her best friend. More than anyone, even Nimueh.

"Come around sometime, yeah," Morgana said, pulling away.

Gwen nodded and smiled brightly, then turned to Merlin. She gave him a big hug. She wouldn't see him for months. Merlin released her and nodded towards Lancelot, who stood by, sad.

"We still on for dinner Saturday?" Gwen asked with a small smile.

Lancelot nodded and pulled her into a hug, and kissed her hair. Gwen didn't want to let go. Not just yet. But Tom Smith cleared his throat and Lancelot kissed Gwen chastely before watching her leave. He wasn't too sad, though. They had dinner plans for Saturday.

"So, off to the train station, then?" Morgana asked Merlin, who had his bags ready.

Merlin nodded, briefly wondering if he should've woken Arthur up to say goodbye. He'd already made his farewells to Gaius the day before, and Morgana had promised to check up on him every now and then.

* * *

Lancelot hugged Merlin, giving him a pat on the back. Morgana watched sadly before throwing her arms around him, never wanting to let go. It was like Christmas, but worse, in a way. Now she knew how she felt.

"Just a few months, and there's the wedding," Merlin mumbled, trying to calm her.

"Too long," she murmured into the crook of his neck.

"I'll call. We'll skype," he said comfortingly.

Morgana pulled away and nodded. She was being silly, she knew it.

They were interrupted by an annoyed looking blond man.

"Oy!" Arthur yelled, "how dare you leave without saying goodbye?"

He placed his hands on his hips and glared at his flatmate. Merlin looked apologetic and grumbled something about the clotpole being asleep.

"Come here, you idiot," Arthur said, wrapping his arms around Merlin in a proper hug.

Merlin looked taken aback, and Morgana smiled. This was how it should be.

Arthur pulled away and clapped Merlin on the shoulder, "Take care."

"Thanks, you too."

The departing train was announced and Merlin looked to Morgana. She hugged him again and he tilted away, kissing her softly.

"We'll be together again before you know it," Merlin said gently.

"Call when you get home," Morgana whispered.

Merlin nodded and set off with a final wave to his friends. Morgana watched, waiting until he disappeared into the train. Then she waited until the train left the station. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach. Her throat felt constricted and her chest hurt and she didn't know why. Silent tears streamed down her face and she turned to Arthur, who was teary-eyed yet stoic.

"Arthur," her voice cracked and her brother held her in a hug, pulling her close, "Arthur, why does it hurt?"

"I don't know," he said, holding his sister, "I don't know."

* * *

**So there was some silliness before some sadness. I like to balance it out. Hopefully this was enjoyable to read. Please review.  
**


	21. Almost Engagement

**I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter, but classes start Monday (tomorrow) and I won't have much time to write until Thursday night, meaning I'll probably make Sunday nights my weekly updates. Thank you for reading, reviewing, etc.**

* * *

**XXI  
**

The first day was difficult. She had holed herself like a petulant little girl in her room the first day after returning to Downing Street. Arthur too was in a mood, and had half-heartedly tried to get her to at least eat something. She had brightened upon receiving a phone call from Merlin, who she talked to for the better part of an hour.

His mum was happy he was home. He had lunch at Will's. They were going to a pub after dinner. Tomorrow would probably be the repeat of the same, but perhaps with some added video game time.

Morgana was much cheerier after the call and had willingly gone to dinner with Uther and Arthur. Arthur seemed to still be upset about something and glared at Morgana across the table.

"What's wrong?" she asked midchew.

"Nothing. Have a nice chat, did you?" he asked, taking a sip of mineral water.

"Yeah. He says 'hi'," Morgana said in confusion.

"Did it cross your mind that maybe I wanted to talk to him?" Arthur kept glaring.

Uther glanced between them in confusion. He honestly had no clue what they were on about.

"Check your phone," Morgana said with a small grin.

Arthur took his mobile out from his pocket and raised a brow at the new message. He read it, and smiled.

"Oh," he said, re-reading the short but kind message from his flatmate.

"Oh," Morgana mocked.

Uther set his fork down, tempted to ask them what was going on. He then thought better of it and continued with his meal.

The rest of the week went by a bit better. Morgana and Gwen went round to the shops for nothing more than window shopping, and gushing about her dates with Lancelot. Lancelot, for his part, tried to spend more time with Arthur in the absence of their mutal best friend.

Much to his initial displeasure, Arthur grew fond of Lancelot. Gwaine was still around at the pub, so the three of them would spend their nights drinking. Unfortunately for Gwaine, Percival was travelling with his parents for the holiday, leaving him all alone. Lancelot and Arthur took it upon themselves to cheer the Irishman up and keep him from flirting with anything that moved.

The second, third, and fourth weeks of holidays flew by. Merlin and Morgana spoke daily, for the most part. Sometimes he'd be with his mum, or Will, or Freya and her boyfriend. Sometimes Freya would yell out a cheery 'hello' and then take the phone, asking her how she was. Morgana liked Freya, despite her initial wariness regarding Merlin's seemingly perfect ex. The fact that she willingly and happily spoke to her made her seem all the more unreal.

She had begun to read the book Merlin had gotten her from Gaius's, and had visited Gaius several times. She had questions, but Gaius seemed a bit reluctant to give her any real answers. So all she knew was that this legend was about some prophecy from the Dark Ages about a Golden Age that Britain so desperately needed. Gaius was being too cryptic and the legend she knew from her mum's stories but there was more that made little to no sense. Magic, dragons, sorcerers, seers, it was all too much.

By the fifth week, Morgana was itching for her trip to France. She had spoken to Morgause and her older sister had tried to convince her to go earlier, enticing her with a week in Paris to spend with Nimueh. Morgana briefly considered it. She would love to see Nimueh after nearly a year apart. But then Merlin would have to go to France alone. He'd have to take the train to London, then the one to Paris all by himself. Morgana couldn't have that. She could ask Merlin to leave early with her, but she already cut short a visit with his mum short once, and refused to do it again.

So Morgause was forced to wait for her maid of honour to turn up the day before the wedding, instead of the week before. Uther didn't even want Morgana to leave, and he didn't even know Merlin was her date. Neither Arthur nor Morgana saw fit to mention Merlin to him for fear of the Pendragon Inquisition.

Gwen had her birthday, and they all celebrated by going to dinner at a sit-down restaurant, and then retreating to the pub. Gwen kept complaining that she didn't want to do anything for her birthday, but there was no way Morgana didn't plan something for her best friend.

* * *

She stood in the train station in London, palms itching. She had a small suitcase with her, and she was surrounded by her brother and two friends. Gwen was holding her arm, smiling almost as brightly as Morgana. Arthur kept fidgeting and Lancelot glanced at the train schedule for arrivals every two seconds.

The incoming train rolled to a stop at the station and passengers began to trickle out. Morgana clutched Gwen's hand in anticipation. Nearly six weeks since she had seen Merlin in person. Six weeks since she had kissed him, held his hand, and held him close.

He emerged from the train, looking the same. He had let his scruff grow into a strange pre-beard sort of length, and she immediately let go of Gwen's hand and ran to him.

Merlin dropped his duffel bag and Morgana practically jumped on him, throwing her arms around his neck. Merlin laughed and picked her up before setting her on the ground. They tended to be over-dramatic at train stations a lot, for some reason. He kissed her softly and she fisted the front of her jacket in her hands before deepening the kiss. The pair of them went at it for quite some time before Arthur cleared his throat, making the couple break apart reluctantly.

"Hi, everyone," Merlin greeted with a smile.

Morgana let go of him as he went over to hug Gwen and Lancelot, then clap Arthur on the shoulder.

"I wish I was staying longer," Merlin said as they walked towards the departures. Lancelot raised his brow and Merlin gave him a small smile and shook his head. Lancelot nodded in understanding and tried not to grin.

"Summer's half over already," Gwen said with a gentle smile.

"Who would have ever thought we'd want summer to be over?" Arthur snorted.

"We need to plan this out better next year," Lancelot said thoughtfully.

Everyone mumbled in agreement.

Before long, Merlin and Morgana exchanged farewell hugs with their friends, and Arthur pulled Merlin aside.

"You hurt her, I will not hesitate to run you through," he said, smiling slightly.

"You've got nothing to worry about, mate," Merlin snorted, only a bit scared.

So with final hugs and goodbyes (for the time being), the two brunettes boarded the train to set off to France for Morgause's wedding.

* * *

"I missed you," Morgana mumbled, brushing her lips against his. It'd been too long.

"Same," Merlin brushed a stray curl away from her face. They were conveniently the only ones in the train compartment.

Morgana rested her head on Merlin's shoulder as she had so many times before, and Merlin placed his chin on top of her head. They just fit.

He had been glad to be home, of course. He missed his mum, and Will, and Freya. He got to meet Arianne, the tiny little thing who Will seemed to love so much, though Arianne was unaware of that small fact. Merlin needed to find a time to introduce Morgana and the whole London group (as he sometimes referred to them in his head) soon. He was sure they'd get along great.

As much as he loved being with his mum, he felt much calmer in London, or wherever Morgana happened to be. He wrapped his arm around her and tried to press her closer to him even though they were almost on top of each other. She snuggled her head onto his chest.

"God, I missed you," Merlin mumbled, kissing the top of her head.

Morgana lifted her head up and smiled. She kissed him before settling back onto his chest.

"Tired?" Merlin asked.

"Couldn't sleep," she admitted, sounding surprisingly shy.

Merlin merely pulled her closer and smiled, "Sleep now, then, before we get to Paris."

"Morgause will be picking us up to go to the chateau," Morgana mumbled, eyes already closed.

Merlin nodded and closed his eyes as well.

* * *

They were in hired car, with Cendred driving and Morgause in the front passenger seat. She kept babbling on about the flowers and how the chateau in the countryside was just perfect.

Morgana wasn't quite sure if they were going to Nice, or Lyon, or were going to be much closer to Paris and just go to Rouen. To be quite honest, she didn't care at the moment.

Merlin listened to Morgause politely, nodding at the right moment when Morgause twisted in her seat to look at the pair. Her mouth quirked into a ghost of a smile, but she said nothing as she watched how Morgana had leaned into Merlin and how his arm rested protectively around her shoulders.

Morgause turned around and glanced at Cendred with a veiled grin. Cendred took her hand and kissed it wordlessly and kept driving.

The house (chateau, whatever) was truly beautiful. It was a large three-storey old brick building. Flowers decorated the front and back yards. The yard was vast, as expected of an estate. The ceremony and reception would take place in the yard. There was a large gazebo for Morgause and Cendred to stand under for the service, and elaborate, large tents for the guests made of gauzy and breezy crème coloured material. Servants and maids were arranging tables at the very moment that Morgana and Merlin were shown to their room.

"I was going to put you in separate rooms, then thought better of it," Morgause informed them with a small smirk.

Merlin blushed, even his ears turned red. Morgana looked at her sister with wide eyes and then looked down.

"It's the twenty-first century. Relax," Morgause fought the urge to laugh at them, "I know what you've been up to in my flat, it's fine."

Morgana opened her mouth to apologise but Morgause stopped.

"I need to go see where my dad's gotten to. Probably the library. I'll let you two settle in," she backed out of the door, trying not to laugh.

The door shut, leaving Morgana and Merlin alone for the first time in weeks, not counting the train ride.

Morgana looked up from the ground and launched herself at Merlin, kissing him roughly.

"Whoa," Merlin grunted, bending his knees a bit so she wouldn't have to stand on her toes.

"I missed you," Morgana mumbled, kissing him still.

"I think we've had this conversation before," Merlin laughed.

"Shut up," Morgana grumbled, tugging at his jacket. His stupid brown jacket that he insisted on wearing in sunny France was in the way.

"Violent much?" Merlin joked as he twisted his arms to shed himself of his jacket.

Morgana smirked and Merlin pushed her gently against the wall to kiss her neck. She clawed at his back, grinning. She missed this. A lot.

* * *

They were late to dinner. Shit. Morgana and Merlin were seated at a large table in the dining hall surrounded by the wedding party. Morgause, Cendred, and Mr Essiter were the only people Morgana knew. Mr Essiter was a nice old man, and she'd always liked him well enough, just like how Morgause liked Gorlois.

Next to them sat Cendred's cousin and best man Eric, who sneered at Morgana upon the two of them being told what time the pictures would be in the morning. Morgana fought the urge to flip him off. Next to Eric sat his boyfriend Mark, who was far more pleasant. Also present were Morgause's friends Susanne and Louisa, two of the bridesmaids.

Throughout dinner, Mr Essiter looked at Morgana and Merlin strangely, glancing between the two.

"What is it?" Morgana asked, smiling slightly.

"You just look so much like your mother," he said with a sad smile.

"So I've been told," Morgana's smile faded. Sure, she looked like Vivienne, but did she really want to be like her? A liar and a cheater?

Dinner continued with joyful conversation about the wedding, and the honeymoon, and future plans.

"So Morgana, you next?" Louisa, the ginger one, asked her with a small smile.

She nearly spit out her wine, "Me?"

She glanced at Merlin, who seemed equally surprised at the question.

"Yeah, you," Louisa said.

"Ehm, maybe. In the future. Like after graduating and getting a job future," she said awkwardly.

Merlin nodded along in agreement.

Louisa raised a brow and smiled at Merlin, "If you decide she's too much—"

"Don't even finish that sentence," Morgana glared at the older girl.

Merlin shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Why was he even there?

"Let him speak for himself," Louisa bit back a laugh.

"I don't really fancy gingers, sorry," Merlin said as politely as he could.

Morgana snorted and Merlin wrapped his arm around her shoulder, not noticing the way Mark (Eric's boyfriend) eyed him. Morgana on the other hand, did notice, and pressed a kiss to Merlin's cheek. Why the hell was everyone looking at Merlin like he was a piece of meat? She sent a glare to Mark, who looked away immediately. She wasn't quite happy to let Merlin out with them to the stag party later that evening.

* * *

They were both completely pissed. Drunker than they'd ever been, even drunker than New Year's Eve. Morgana had been extremely bored at the hen party, and didn't even glance at the cheesy stripper Louisa and Susanne. As maid of honour, it was supposed to be her job to plan everything, but Morgana didn't quite care. She knew her maid of honour title was just because Morgause wasn't really close with anyone but her. Like hell if she'd let her 'friends' be the one to be in all the pictures. So Morgana had skipped out early and gone to the pub/strip club where Cendred's party was. Merlin wasn't enjoying himself at all, so they ditched both parties to head back to the house. That was probably the best decision they could've made.

She had a dream about Morgause dressed as a knight, but it was odd and made no sense whatsoever, and decided it had something to do with Morgause marrying her very own prince charming. Or some other crap like that.

The next morning, Merlin was dressed in a suit and Morgana was wearing her dress. It was peach coloured and clung to her frame before spreading out into a swishy skirt. Her hair was pinned up haphazardly and there wasn't a stitch of make-up on her face, but she didn't need it anyway. She had taken her nose ring out per Morgause's request. It would be a dangerous thing to do, to refuse the bride of anything.

"The makeup lady is late," Morgana wrung her hands. She really didn't like weddings. All the planning and the stress (yet she was currently planning Gwaine and Percy's in her head, go figure).

"Relax," Merlin laughed, struggling with his bowtie.

"Oh, are we all Doctor-y today?" Morgana grinned, snatching the bowtie from him.

"Bowties are cool," Merlin said, lifting his chin so Morgana could tie the bowtie for him.

"There," Morgana patted his shoulder and moved away.

"If anyone asks, I tied it myself," Merlin said seriously.

Morgana snorted and then nodded with mock severity.

"Your secret's safe with me," she bit her lip.

Merlin rolled his eyes in false annoyance and pecked her on the cheek.

Morgana sank onto the bed and pouted.

"Are you kidding me?" Merlin narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, actually. I need to fix my hair," Morgana said cheerily. She set about taking out the pins in her hair to place them in properly.

Merlin sat behind her and she handed him the extra pins. She curled bits of hair around her finger and then held them against her head for Merlin to fasten them with the pins.

"How are you so good at doing hair?" she asked suspiciously.

"The amount of times Freya forced Will and me to play 'hair salon' is embarrassing," he said with a light blush crossing his cheeks.

Morgana laughed softly, imagining a young Merlin holding a hair curler to a small Freya's head.

"Shut up," Merlin frowned, still pinning back hair until only loose tendrils framed her face.

"Sorry," Morgana said.

"No you're not," Merlin tilted his head.

"You're right, I'm not," she grinned.

Merlin kissed her shoulder just as there was a knock on the door. It burst open to reveal Susanne, the brunette, who let out a small yelp.

"Sorry!" she said, backing away, "the makeup lady's just arrived."

"Duty calls," Morgana sighed, kissing Merlin on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

The ceremony was lovely. It really was. Morgause's dress was long and sleeveless, and practically billowed ethereally in the breeze. She looked like a fairy, with her hair pulled away from her face and her blonde waves looked immaculate. Her father walked her down the aisle, small smile crossing his lips. Cendred couldn't stop grinning, which was odd, as he seemed to be such a serious and cold man.

When Morgana had walked down the aisle, she turned her head and winked at Merlin playfully before appearing stoic once more.

Merlin couldn't quite remember the rest of the ceremony, or much of the reception. It had all been a bit of a blur. All he could remember were the bottles of champagne he and Morgana had nicked from the open bar and wandering off to a secluded area of the massive garden on the estate's grounds.

They had settled themselves under a tree long after the speeches had been made and after Morgause and Cendred had taken off for their honeymoon, leaving behind about two hundred guests neither Morgana and Merlin knew.

Morgana had kicked off her heels and Merlin's suit jacket was draped over her shoulders. The pins in her hair had proved useless as her hair now tumbled in waves and curls down to her waist. Merlin's dress shirt was rumpled and wrinkled. Each of them had taken several swigs from a bottle of champagne.

"You look beautiful," Merlin said quietly, just as Morgana took another sip.

"You mean with smeared makeup and bad hair?" Morgana smirked.

"You always look beautiful," Merlin said sincerely.

"Don't get all mushy on me now," Morgana shoved him lightly.

Merlin took the bottle from her and took a long drink, then set it down.

"We should do this sometime," Merlin said suddenly.

"What, sneak away from weddings to get plastered?" Morgana asked.

"No. The wedding thing," Merlin said with a small, almost hopeful, smile.

Morgana's eyes widened, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"I guess I am," Merlin said.

Morgana went quiet and she furrowed her brow. They'd known each other for less than a year. They'd been dating since January and it was only July. Early July, in fact. They weren't even twenty for fuck's sake. Merlin looked at her with large blue eyes and his smile had disappeared, as if he realised what he had said.

"Yes," Morgana turned to look at him, "Yes," she repeated.

"Yes?" Merlin grinned goofily.

Morgana nodded fervently, "Yes, yes."

"I don't have a ring," Merlin said as Morgana wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't care," Morgana kissed him, drunk on the champagne and Merlin.

They woke up at dawn, still outside. The car to take them to the train station would leave after breakfast. Morgana winced as the light hit her eye and pressed herself closer to Merlin.

* * *

"Morning," he murmured, trying to sit up.

"My head feels like it weighs a tonne," Morgana groaned, shifting slightly.

Merlin glanced at the bottles of champagne and laughed with a hoarse voice, "That's because we drank all that."

Morgana lifted her head off of him and peered at their surroundings. Merlin's jacket had been draped over them both as a makeshift blanket. Morgana sat up, her dress wrinkled and covered in grass stains.

"Holy shit, we need to pack!" she said suddenly.

Merlin stood and she grabbed his outstretched hand. She picked up her shoes and they set off towards the chateaux.

They were on their way back to London, sitting in a train compartment.

"I'm staying a couple of days with Lancelot," Merlin informed her as they each ate a sandwich they'd purchased from the trolley.

"Really?" Morgana asked with a smile.

"Surprise," he grinned.

"Man Lancelot can keep a secret," Morgana muttered under her breath.

Merlin smiled and then looked confused. He licked his lips and looked at Morgana.

"What exactly did we do last night?" Merlin asked.

"Drank a lot and fell asleep, as usual," Morgana smirked.

"I feel like we're forgetting something important," Merlin said quietly.

Morgana appeared pensive and their eyes widened at the same time.

"We got engaged," Morgana croaked out, "that was a rubbish proposal by the way."

"Oh, man we must have been so sloshed," Merlin closed his eyes, embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it. People make odd decisions when they're drunk all the time. Let's forget about it," Morgana tried to smile.

"Yeah?" Merlin asked, opening one eye.

"Yeah. We've got ages to think about that," Morgana took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Ages, right," Merlin nodded.

"Now what should we do the rest of the week since you're here?" Morgana asked cheerfully.

"Figure out the dormitory situation," Merlin suggested.

"Gwen and I sorted this out," Morgana informed him.

"Oh, really?" Merlin raised a brow.

"Yep. Gwen and I continue to be flatmates, while you, Arthur, and Lancelot share," Morgana said.

Merlin was about to protest but Morgana interrupted him.

"Couples shouldn't room together because what happens in the case of a breakup? Imagine the awkardness," Morgana said.

"You think we'd break up? Or that Gwen and Lancelot will break up?" Merlin asked with no emotion in his voice.

"I'm being practical, here. No one can see the future, Merlin," Morgana scowled at him, unsure as to why he looked so upset.

"But you can see yourself married to me in the future?" Merlin pressed.

"Merlin, we've been dating for barely seven months. We've known each other for less than a year. Yeah, it seems like we've known each other for longer, but be realistic," Morgana said, now also upset.

"Right. You're right," Merlin said, "Sorry."

Morgana smiled gently, "Hangovers make us a bit grumpy, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Merlin said with a tense smile.

Morgana stared at Merlin, and he averted her gaze.

"Arthur was pestering me about the roommate situation months ago," he admitted with a short chuckle.

She grinned once he looked at her and he smiled.

"Of course he did," she shook her head.

"He didn't take too kindly to me rooming with Lance," Merlin sounded amused.

"Warning: Arthur Pendragon is a bit more than slightly possessive of certain people. Congrats, you're one of those special few," Morgana joked.

"Oh, great," Merlin groaned, their slight argument forgotten.

* * *

**This was filler for the most part. Since Merlin's going to be staying for a bit, they'll get a closer look at the magic book and some information from Gaius. Please review.  
**


	22. Compulsive Decisions

**Thank you for your continued support, and sorry about the wait. Classes have started and I'm swamped.**

* * *

**XXII**

Ella Lake, Lancelot's mum, was adorable. She reminded Merlin of Hunith, and he now understood why he and Lancelot had such similar temperaments. He and Lancelot shared a room, which was fine since Lancelot had bunk beds.

"Do you have a brother or something?" Merlin asked in confusion.

"Nope. I just really like bunk beds," Lancelot answered.

"Cool," was all Merlin could say without trying to make a Doctor Who related joke regarding Amy and Rory's bunk beds. That would just make things awkward.

They spent most of their time with Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen. They still went to the pub to cheer up Gwaine regarding the still vacationing Percy, and drank a lot. What was summer for anyway, if not for spending time with friends and doing absolutely nothing because the fall term was still weeks away?

* * *

Arthur scowled at the office building of Albion University. It still felt too early to be there. Merlin stood next to him, holding some forms, with Lancelot close behind.

"So, one last time. We're all agreed?" Lancelot asked.

"Yep. One year stuck with you two," Arthur narrowed his eyes at his two future flatmates.

"Well aren't you a bright ray of sunshine? It was your idea," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"It's too early to be awake," Arthur frowned.

"It's noon," Lancelot said as they walked into the building.

"Again. It's too early," Arthur repeated.

"Change my mind," Merlin said as they entered the office to submit their paperwork.

"Too late," Arthur placed his arm around Merlin's shoulder, pulling him in order to ruffle his hair, "we're going to have such fun."

Lancelot and Merlin shared worried glances, and Arthur responded by draping his other arm around Lancelot. What had they gotten themselves into?

* * *

"These bloody pages are blank," Morgana said as she reached the end of the book.

They were at Gaius's, supposedly tending to the nonexistent customers.

Merlin frowned at them. All right, so there was the prophecy that was essentially the same as the story they had both been told as children. What else, though? There had to be something else. Did Britain's Golden Age not happen? Were the fates still waiting for the King, his Queen, the Lady, and the Sorcerer?

"I don't get it," Morgana said after her annoyance had faded it a bit, "how could they just end up hating each other?"

Green eyes met blue and for some strange reason, they both felt extremely sad. Morgana's dreams, whatever they were, seemed to be in line with the ancient story.

They looked back at the book quickly and Merlin turned to the prophecy, legend, whatever it was. There had to be something they'd missed. Maybe hidden in the ancient spells, there was something important. Frustrated, he went back to the empty pages.

He placed a hand on one page and felt a jolt. Morgana looked at him quizzically.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I felt something," Merlin said in confusion.

Morgana raised an eyebrow and placed her hand on the page opposite Merlin's hand. She let out a small gasp as she felt shiver run through her spine.

The book began to glow, ever so slightly as ink filled the pages. Morgana and Merlin looked at each other in wonder.

"Your eyes," Morgana mumbled as his blue eyes started to turn yellow.

"Yours too," he said quietly.

Gaius emerged from the back room and his eyes widened.

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled, causing the pair to jump back.

The glow was gone. The words disappeared as if they never existed.

"That book!" Merlin pointed at it, confused.

"Gaius, what is that thing?" Morgana asked, slightly terrified.

"I suppose you deserve an explanation," the old man sighed.

"You think?" Morgana and Merlin said at once, sharing a gentle glance.

Gaius shook his head, "I should have known it would be you two."

"Known what about us?" Merlin asked.

"Magic. Only magic could reveal the final pages," Gaius began to elaborate.

"Magic?" Morgana whispered, unsure.

"Yes. It seems you both have magic, however little it may be," Gaius moved towards the back room, motioning for the couple to follow him.

He sat down at a large table covered in books, as did Merlin and Morgana. Merlin placed the book on the table, confused.

"We have magic?" Merlin asked, "it didn't really start changing much until Morgana put her hand on it too."

They looked at each other, waiting for Gaius's reply.

"Your magic alone isn't very powerful. It's practically nonexistent. But together, you've mustered up the same amount of power of say, a small magical child," Gaius said, slight smile on his face.

Morgana snorted and Merlin raised a brow, "So we're not magic?"

"You are. Just not very. Like I told you Merlin, magic is all around and within each person. Over the centuries it has started to disappear. Comparatively, the pair of you probably have more magic than anyone else right now," Gaius explained.

"What about Wiccans?" Morgana asked.

"They practice magic, though. You don't. Your magic is inherent. Merlin, you've never actually actively tried to cast a spell, though strange things have happened," Gaius said.

"Well, yeah," Merlin looked pensive.

"And Morgana, you have the sight, but you haven't trained," Gaius continued.

Morgana looked up from the book, "What?"

"Your dreams, nightmares, what are they like?"

"Confusing. A bit terrifying. It's me, but it's not me. There's a castle and Merlin or Arthur and Morgause and Uther," Morgana brought a hand to her neck gingerly, and turned to Merlin.

"You were crying," she said, "I was crying. I was choking."

Gaius frowned at Morgana, then looked at Merlin. Morgana gasped slightly. He had poisoned her. That dream from before she collapsed in the courtyard of the university.

"You're seeing what could have been, not what is to come. Any other dreams?"

Confused, she continued, "I dreamt of my parents' accident before it happened. It was my fault they died, not Aggravaine's."

She sounded numb.

"Ah. So you can see both," Gaius hummed.

"I haven't seen anything like that since then. For nine years," Morgana said, looking between Merlin and Gaius.

"I haven't done anything out of the ordinary for a while, too," Merlin said, staring straight at Morgana.

"It's to be expected that your powers faded as you got older and rationalised everything. But Morgana's dreams of the past are the prophecy playing out in some way," Gaius said.

"What? So I'm the Sorcerer?" Merlin sputtered out.

"Merlin would never hurt anyone," Morgana frowned, remembering the story of the Sorcerer poisoning the Lady. She remembered the reoccurring dream that ended up with Merlin hugging her, crying as she choked on poison. She shuddered. Her Merlin would never do that. There must be some mistake.

"No, he wouldn't. I believe the prophecy was never fulfilled," Gaius said sternly.

"The last pages, what are they?" Merlin asked.

"Find out," Gaius stepped back, letting Merlin and Morgana place their hands on the pages once more.

The room filled with a golden light and they felt something run up their arms. Was it magic?

Ink began to appear on the pages, and once the glow faded, they moved their hands.

'_And so the prophecy nearly came to pass, but the betrayal came too soon and the Golden Age became a distant memory. The Once and Future King was not to reign, for his sister succeeded in her quest for vengeance, destroying all she had once held dear. The Sorcerer Emrys could not save his King for he had been imprisoned by the Lady in a crystal cave, never to be seen again.'_

"What the hell does that mean?" Morgana said, irritated. These were just stories. Ridiculous, fanciful stories.

"You locked me in a cave?" was the only thing Merlin could say.

"You tried to kill me," Morgana bit back.

"You are not the Lady and the Sorcerer!" Gaius said in annoyance, "in all likelihood they never existed."

"But the book," Morgana said. She had an ill feeling that Gaius was lying.

"Books lie," Gaius's voice went lower, "now I want you both to forget about this."

"But we have magic," Merlin said in a deadpan voice, "how do we forget that?"

"Magic is ancient, and all around and in everyone in small traces. You just happen to have more than most. That's all. You can't do spells, you can't command dragons, nothing," Gaius was exasperated with the two of them.

Morgana frowned, "So I can't pretend I'm the Mother of Dragons or turn Arthur into a toad?"

Merlin let out a laugh that turned into a cough upon Gaius's glare, the tension immediately disappearing from the room.

"Back to work, the both of you," Gaius ordered as if they were children.

Morgana and Merlin exchanged a look of mild amusement at the old man's annoyance before shuffling back into the store to work.

* * *

Morgana stared at Arthur as if he'd grown two heads. Did he suffer from some sort of mental affliction?

"No," she said immediately.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Merlin asked as they drank tea at a nearby café.

Gwen merely patted Merlin on the shoulder and Lancelot sent him an apologetic look.

"No," Arthur and Morgana said at once.

"Guys," Merlin said as the two stared each other down across the table.

"It won't be that bad," Arthur tried to convince his foster sister that he had a good idea, for once.

"I am not subjecting him to Uther," Morgana frowned.

"He's not that bad," Arthur leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. It's not like he'd send out snipers after poor Merlin. He paled for a moment, considering that it may be a possibility if the Prime Minister was having a bad day.

The other three friends' eyes moved back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

"He's going to scare Merlin away. No thanks," Morgana said with finality.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad," Merlin said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, my poor, sweet, innocent Merlin," Morgana frowned slightly, "brace yourself."

* * *

Merlin had to go through a bit of security as he entered the Downing Street residence. It hit him on the way there that he wasn't just meeting Arthur's dad and Morgana's guardian. He was meeting the Prime Minister.

Morgana looked at him a bit hopelessly as he walked through the door.

"I am so sorry," she apologised in advance.

Merlin's eyes widened and he looked frightened in that brief moment. Morgana took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

Arthur trotted downstairs and nodded at Merlin in greeting.

"Hey," he said as if there was nothing to be afraid of.

"Hi," Merlin said.

"Dad's in the living room, reading," Arthur said, leading them past the entryway.

Uther looked up from his book and smiled thinly at the three. So he had been right. The tall boy at Arthur's party had been Merlin. He stood and Merlin stepped forward, looking a bit nervous.

"So you're Merlin," he said.

"Yes sir, Prime Minister, sir," Merlin said awkwardly, blinking.

Uther fought a smile, "Please, no need to be so formal. Just call me Uther."

"Yes, sir, er, Uther," Merlin said, shaking his hand.

"Right, then. Dinner's ready, on we go," Uther said, not able to take his eyes off of the boy. From far away he looked a lot like Gorlois, tall, dark haired. But up close, they looked only a bit alike. The eyes were all wrong, and Uther strangely felt a bit disappointed. It's not like he wanted a replacement for Gorlois. No one could replace him.

They sat down in the dining hall, with Arthur to the right and Morgana and Merlin at the left. They began eating in silence.

"So, Merlin, tell me a bit about yourself," Uther said, narrowing his eyes a bit.

"Ehm, not much to tell. Lived with my mum in Ireland. She's a nurse. I'm majoring in science so I can go to medical school," he shrugged, running out of things to say.

"He forgot to mention he's probably the nicest person on the planet," Arthur said with a slight grin. Morgana nodded in agreement.

"I understand you were with Morgana during the winter holidays," Uther said nonchalantly.

"It wasn't planned," Merlin said, "no one should be alone when dealing with their parents' murder," he said plainly.

Uther nodded, solemn for a moment. His friends, his oldest friends.

Morgana smiled gently at Merlin and placed her hand on his. Uther didn't fail to notice the simple gesture, or Merlin's matching smile and look of adoration. It was nearly the same way Gorlois would look at Vivienne, but Vivienne was so much colder than Morgana. Part of Uther had feared Morgana would grow to be just as aloof and icy, but he was proved wrong in that very moment. Morgana was always more fiery than her mother, which was a testament to Gorlois.

"Quite right," Uther took a sip of wine.

He glanced at the children (no, young adults) at the table. Arthur was pretending to vomit at the display of affection, though his true feelings were known. Morgana and Merlin were in their own little world. They reminded him so much of his old friends, and Arthur was near a replica of him in his younger days, only with Ygraine's eyes and softer features, that he thought he had been taken back in time. He feared history would repeat itself one day. That these three would grow apart and hurt each other. That couldn't happen. It couldn't.

* * *

"That wasn't too bad," Merlin said as Morgana walked him to the taxi waiting for him.

"Surprisingly enough," she smiled brightly before kissing him.

"Goodnight," he said with another kiss.

"Night," she kissed him again.

"Taxi's," kiss, "waiting," another kiss.

"Alright," kiss.

"Bye," Merlin said finally, kissing her once more before sitting in the taxi.

Morgana walked back to the house after the cab left and Arthur shook his had at her from the doorway.

"You love him," he said.

"Shut up," she flipped him off.

"You love him, you want to marry him," he teased as he had done to Merlin.

"Came pretty close to that, actually," she muttered.

Arthur's eyes widened, "What?"

"It's nothing. We were being stupid, it's over and done with," Morgana brushed past him.

"Morgana!" Arthur called after her, following her into the house and up the stairs.

"It's nothing," she repeated.

"Did you get married?" he asked her in disbelief.

"Of course not!" Morgana whirled around, not noticing Uther standing nearby, listening.

"Then what the hell happened?" Arthur crossed his arms.

"He proposed at Morgause's wedding. No ring, nothing. Pretty rubbish actually," she smiled briefly, "then we came to our senses."

"So you're not engaged or married?" Arthur clarified.

"Why does it matter to you so much?" Morgana asked.

"I just want you to be happy," Arthur sounded deflated.

"No, you just want Merlin as a brother," Morgana joked.

Arthur bit his lip and remained silent, "If you two ever do decide to get married, let me know, yeah?"

"Of course," Morgana snorted, "Can I go now?"

"Yep," he said with a grin.

* * *

Merlin had to go back home in the last weeks of the summer holiday. Morgana and Arthur stood with him at the station. Gwen's small vacation from working at the café was over, and Lancelot was visiting his grandmother for the remainder of the summer.

Morgana hung onto Merlin's arm, and Arthur was frowning. He hated this stupid train station.

"It's just a few more weeks," Merlin tried to laugh, noticing how both Morgana and Arthur were in foul moods.

"I just got you back a few days ago," Morgana frowned.

"What she said, but less lovey-dovey," Arthur agreed with a slight snarl.

Merlin shook his head and pressed a kiss to Morgana's head as his train came to a screeching halt on the platform, waiting for him.

"It's like going to Hogwarts but without the magical school and dark lord trying to kill you," Arthur said thoughtfully while Merlin and Morgana hugged.

Morgana couldn't help but smile and Merlin buried his head in her hair, laughing lightly at Arthur's remark.

A whistle blew and Merlin reluctantly pulled away from Moragana. He clapped Arthur on the back and boarded the train.

Once it left, Morgana remained rooted in her spot, eyes narrowed. Her mind was running a mile-a-minute.

"You're going, aren't you?" Arthur asked with a small smile. They had two and a half weeks until classes started again. Two and a half weeks for them to spend time together before course work and the paper got in the way. They may as well spend those two weeks together.

Morgana only smiled and Arthur knew she'd be catching the next train to Belfast. She was impulsive, and once she decided to do something, she'd do it, damn the consequences.

* * *

Morgana took the small bag she had thrown random articles of clothing in and bolted downstairs. The next train to Dublin, where she would change trains to get to Belfast, left in less than an hour. If she hurried, she'd make it. Arthur had kept the taxi that had brought them home waiting, and he was outside talking to the cabbie politely.

Uther wandered into the foyer from the living room, file of documents and glasses in hand.

"What's going on?" he asked obliviously.

"I'm going on a little vacation," Morgana chirped cheerily. She wouldn't let Uther keep her there.

"That's nice. Have fun," he said absentmindedly, biting the end of his glasses, staring at the paper in front of him.

Morgana looked at him worriedly, "I'll be back before the semester starts."

"Wonderful," Uther murmured, "have a safe trip."

With that, he wandered back to the living room, something obviously troubling him.

Morgana went outside and hugged Arthur.

"I can go from here," she said with a soft grin, "and something's bothering Uther. Keep an eye on him."

"Call when you get to that idiot," Arthur ruffled her hair, messing it up.

Morgana stuck her tongue out at him and slid into the cab.

* * *

Her plan wasn't exactly well thought out. What if Merlin had plans? What if she was being a bother? How the hell would she get to his house if she didn't know the address? Why didn't Uther stop her?

She stood in the bus depot in Armagh alone. She didn't even know what street she needed to get to. She fished her mobile out from her pocket and sighed.

"Can you come get me?" she asked a confused sounding Merlin. She mumbled a 'surprise' and sat down on a bench to wait for him.

Twenty minutes later, Merlin came running through the near-empty depot, looking around frantically. She stood and waved at him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, hugging her though they saw each other less than a day ago.

"Surprise," she repeated, pulling him closer.

"God you're impulsive," he murmured, kissing her hair.

She smiled into his shoulder and looked up, "I hope your mum doesn't mind?

"She's actually quite anxious to meet you," Merlin said, leading her towards the car park.

"What have you told her?" Morgana cringed.

"About how you jump me at all opportunities," he deadpanned, and she laughed.

He led her to a car and Morgana raised a brow, "You can't drive."

"Ah, but Will can," Merlin said, nodding towards the muscle-y young man standing nearby.

He walked over, smiling, "So you're Morgana."

"And you're Will," she smiled back. Merlin had told her about his best friend from childhood and how he went to university in Belfast with Freya.

He looked between Merlin and Morgana, "I don't know what you see in him, but if ever you want a new boyfriend, I'm available."

Morgana snorted and Merlin laughed.

"You're most definitely not available. Arianne's got you wrapped around her finger and she doesn't even know it," Merlin teased.

"Shut up," Will grumbled, opening the door to the car.

"I can see why you're such good friends," Morgana said with a snort.

"Best friends. Not that Lancelot fellow he mentioned, or that prat Prime Minister's son," Will said as they drove away.

Merlin had sat next to her in the backseat, fighting a grin. Morgana smiled.

"That prat is my foster brother," she said, not finding the need to hide this detail from Merlin's closest friend.

Will's eyes widened, and Morgana chuckled, "He is a prat sometimes. It's okay."

"Sorry," he cringed, and Morgana waved if off.

"It's fine, really," she said.

* * *

Hunith looked at her and Morgana felt like it was a critical look. As if she was determining if this nose-ringed girl with the multiple piercings in her ears was right for her son.

Morgana tried not to squirm under her gaze. Hunith smiled brightly, so similar to Merlin, that she relaxed.

"I'm so glad you've decided to visit. I kept telling Merlin to bring you around," Hunith said warmly.

"I'm sorry I came so out-of-the blue," Morgana said apologetically, and Merlin smirked at her phrasing. Morgana noticed and discreetly stepped on his foot.

Hunith either didn't notice or didn't want to mention it, and led her into the living room.

"We've only got two bedrooms," she started.

"The couch is perfectly fine," Morgana said immediately as Merlin opened his mouth to protest.

"I'll take the couch. I'll change the sheets on my bed, it's fine," he looked down at Morgana.

"I'll take the couch, this is your home," Morgana grumbled.

Now the two were facing each other, arms crossed in a glaring match. Hunith tried not to laugh, wondering when her son had grown so much so that he was bringing a girl home who _wasn't_ Freya. Actually, he didn't even bring Morgana. She came of her own accord. Hunith had a feeling she'd like her well enough.

"Merlin," Hunith said in her scolding tone, "no need to worry yourselves about that. It's the twenty-first century. I'm not stupid or medieval."

Morgana and Merlin turned to face the older woman, both of them quickly turning pink.

"But that doesn't give you permission to do as you please. That room is for sleeping," Hunith pointed to the hallway, where the rooms were.

"Yes ma'am," Morgana blinked. She dared not look Merlin or Hunith in the face.

A blush had crept up Merlin's neck and his ears were red, too.

"Mum," he groaned.

"Wash up. Near time for dinner," Hunith said, dropping the matter once and for all.

* * *

The next day, Hunith had to be at the hospital for work, so Merlin decided to show Morgana around his neighbourhood. Morgana felt anxious, wondering if she'll truly get along with Will. She already knew Freya, so she wasn't too concerned about her. Will's friend Arianne and her older brother would be with them, which confused her since she thought the girl's family lived in Belfast.

"Her half brother lives here," Merlin clarified. He was a mechanic, on the outs with his parents because he decided to not continue in the family business with his older brother.

Morgana nodded, taking a sip of her lemonade at the restaurant they were to meet at for lunch.

The door opened and a group comprised of Will, Freya, and two strangers entered. The girl was short, with a brown hair in pixie haircut and grey eyes. Her brother was tall, with curly dark hair and grey eyes. They looked a lot alike, despite the height difference.

Morgana watched as Merlin got up to bring them over, and she braced herself. They had to like her, and she had to like them. They would all get along, surely.

* * *

**So, Morgana ran off to Ireland. Something is bothering Uther, so Arthur will decide to investigate. They'll be back at university by the end of the next chapter. Please review.  
**


	23. Back to School

**Thank you all for reading/reviewing/favoriting, etc. Warning for a small amount of (domestic) violence in this chapter.**

* * *

**XXIII  
**

Arthur peered into his father's study, observing as Uther sifted through papers, glasses on the edge of his nose. He seemed troubled somehow, and Arthur wanted to know why.

"Dad?" Arthur said.

Uther looked up, "Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Absolutely fine, yes, just some issues in Parliament is all," Uther said absentmindedly.

Arthur didn't believe him. He stared at his father questioningly and Uther sighed.

"A political rival has dug into the circumstances of Morgana's birth and possible parentage," Uther rubbed his forehead.

Arthur frowned, "They're trying to use Morgana against you?"

"Yes. And until a paternity test proves that I'm not actually her father, she won't relent," Uther figured there was no need to hide it from Arthur. He was a grown man.

"She?" Arthur sounded sceptical.

"What matter is it, man or woman? A political rival is a rival, no matter the gender," Uther frowned at his son.

"I know, but wouldn't a woman be more willing to let it go since it could be tramautic for the child involved?" Arthur said curiously.

Uther smiled grimly, "Politics seems to be a great equaliser, doesn't it?"

"Don't let them hurt Morgana," was all Arthur could say. She'd finally gotten back to her usual snarky, non-weepy self. They got over it and he didn't want her still new wounds to be opened.

"I'll protect her," Uther vowed. It was the same promise he'd given Gorlois all those years ago. Aggravaine was in jail for twenty five to life. Morgana was happy. He wouldn't let anyone harm her.

There was something else troubling Uther, though, and Arthur knew he had some snooping to do.

* * *

"You stupid," Arianne snatched the beer away from Will, while her brother Clark laughed.

"I have a name," Will grumbled.

"Yeah, it's 'stupid'," Arianne grinned innocently at the bull-headed boy in front of her.

"What a love-in we've got going on here," Morgana joked.

They were at a pub near Merlin's flat. In a few days, they'd leave once more for London, but Morgana found herself increasingly reluctant to leave Merlin's friends behind.

"Every damn day," Freya groaned in half-annoyance, half-mockery. She joked with the rest of them, but there was something off about her. Her smile didn't reach her eyes anymore and her boyfriend, Steve, who'd gone out with them a few times, had lessened his presence over the course of the past week and half.

Merlin remained quiet and took a sip of his own beer, his other arm draped across the back of Morgana's chair. He glanced at Freya, eyes dark. She looked at him for a split second before turning away.

"Why am I even here?" Clark rolled his eyes. He was four years older than the group assembled. He should be with his own friends, like Sam. But no. He was with his little sister's odd friends.

Morgana smiled lightly, glancing at Merlin. He wasn't smiling, not truly. Something was on his mind.

He met her stare and shook his head. He'd tell her later.

* * *

When they returned home from the pub they found Hunith waiting for them, sitting on the couch. Their laughter died immediately upon seeing how stern she looked.

"Mum?" Merlin said in confusion.

"Where did you get this?" Hunith asked, gesturing to the book on he coffee table.

"Gaius's shop," Merlin said with a shrug. Morgana had brought the large, ancient book with her so she and Merlin could examine it more closely. She didn't know Hunith would be so upset.

Hunith looked at them, "Get it out of here."

"They're just stories, mum. Like the bedtime story you used to tell me," Merlin said, still befuddled.

"My mum told me the same story when I was a kid," Morgana offered with a small smile.

Hunith's blue eyes met Morgana's green. A hint of recognition flashed in the older woman's eyes.

"Your mother was a Dulac," it wasn't a question.

Morgana nodded, "Vivienne. Why?"

"It's nothing. Just be careful, both of you," she said cryptically, handing the book over to them.

* * *

They lay awake in Merlin's cramped bed, limbs on top of each other. Morgana shifted to look at him, but he remained still, staring at the ceiling. Morgana had a feeling Gaius was keeping something from them regarding the book, and now Hunith too. They'd gone through it repeatedly but nothing new caught their eyes.

"I don't understand," Merlin whispered in the dark.

"What?" Morgana asked quietly.

"My mum, she was upset," Merlin bit his lip.

"Merlin, what happened to your dad?" Morgana asked. He'd told her he never met the man, but what else? For some reason she connected magic book to disappeared dad. Her mind worked in strange ways.

"Never met him. Disappeared before I was born," Merlin said emotionlessly, "I don't know anything about him. Only a name. Balinor."

Morgana wrapped her arm around Merlin's waist, hugging him. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Me too," he said, wondering if his mother's fear of the magic book had something to do with Balinor. He'd probably never know.

"What else is bothering you?" Morgana murmured.

"Nothing. It's nothing," Merlin said.

"Freya's been acting odd," Morgana observed gently.

Merlin remained silent for a long while.

"Freya told Steve she was leaving, and he hit her," he said darkly.

Morgana unwrapped herself from Merlin and sat up. The rage on Merlin's face was clear, even in the dark.

"What?" her eyes went wide.

"The son of a bitch hit her because she wants to get out," Merlin said.

"How long have you known?" Morgana asked.

"Not long," Merlin was pissed with himself. He should have realised something was amiss long ago. Freya had been so good at convincing everyone and herself that she was perfectly fine. She'd fooled even Merlin, the one person who could usually read her like a book. Freya had told him how she and Steve argued often. She said they'd sort it out, that all couples fight.

"Merlin," Morgana frowned, eyes watering, "do her parents…"

"Her parents like Steve," Merlin laughed angrily under his breath, "they won't believe her."

"They won't believe their own daughter?" Morgana sounded sceptical.

Merlin slid off of the bed, pulling on his jeans and a hooded shirt.

"Will's on his way to pick her up," Merlin said.

Morgana nodded. So that's where Freya and Will had disappeared to outside, to make a plan.

"I'm going with you," Morgana scrambled off of the bed. She had to go. Freya had become a friend to her, and no one hurt her friends. No one.

* * *

A crash came from inside. Morgana closed her eyes as Merlin and Will pounded on the door. They were Freya's protectors since childhood, it was sweet that they were so devoted, but it was horrible that this had happened.

Clark was on stand-by, currently keeping a raging mad Arianne back in the car. She was Freya's best female friend, and though small, she could probably pack a punch.

"Let me go!" they heard Freya shout from inside.

In a blind rage, Merlin and Will knocked the door down, barrelling inside. Morgana followed them, face grim.

"Get the fuck out," Steve snarled. He glared at Merlin most of all, practically ignoring Will.

"I'm leaving," Freya said, eerily calm, "that's what I was trying to tell you before you accused me of cheating."

"But I love you," Steve yelled.

"No you don't," Freya snorted, "You don't hit the person you love."

She disappeared into the hall and came out with a suitcase.

"Freya, please," Steve said.

"You hit me once. What's to say you won't hit me again?" she asked angrily.

As Steve tried to cross the room to reach her Merlin tackled Steve, punching him.

"Merlin!" Morgana and Freya shouted as Will joined the scuffle, hitting Steve.

"Stop it you idiots!" Freya yelled at them. Fighting him wouldn't change a thing.

"You hurt her," Merlin snarled, delivered a punch to the nose.

Will managed to pull Merlin away once he came to his senses, and then wrapped his arms around Freya protectively.

"Come near her again, and I will not hesitate to kill you," Will glowered, extremely protective of his oldest friend.

* * *

Arianne hugged Freya close to her while Clark looked distressed. His dark eyes were troubled and sad, but his face remained stoic, anger bubbling inside.

"I'll kill him," he'd grown attached to Freya over the year she became his sister's best friend.

"I think we all want a turn," Morgana said sourly.

"I could handle myself," Freya grumbled, not enjoying being fussed over.

They were in Clark's flat. Arianne offered to share the spare room with her since she didn't want to go to her parents' just yet. Will winced as Merlin dabbed alcohol on the cut on his hand. Merlin himself had a bruise forming on his jaw, but he ignored it.

Clark looked at Freya, "I should never have introduced you two."

"It's not your fault," Freya tried to smile, "it's no one's fault but his. I should've known he was going to take getting dumped very well."

"We should've noticed," Will said sullenly. He'd looked after Freya like a sister, but she got hurt because he was so caught up in university and his strange feelings for Arianne. Merlin had been away. It had been up to him to take care of Freya while Merlin was gone, and he failed.

"It's over now," Freya said. Arianne took Freya's hand and frowned at the slight bruise on her forehead, usually covered by her fringe. The extent of any injury started with the bruise and ended with finger marks on her wrist, from where Steve had grabbed her tonight. The emotional harm was probably so much worse.

"I am so sorry," was all Will could say, over and over again for not noticing. His mum and dad had a volatile relationship, to say the least. He should've noticed the signs.

Clark sighed and decided it was late.

"We're not leaving her," Will said in a steely voice.

"I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow," Freya smiled slightly.

Will stood and walked to where she sat on the couch.

"We love you," he mumbled and pressed a light kiss to her head

Freya nodded and grabbed his wrist, bringing him close, "I know."

* * *

"Will needs to stop beating himself up," Morgana said quietly as they lay in bed.

It was late in the morning, and Hunith had gone to work.

"I know. He's just always looked after Freya like a little sister," Merlin said with a sigh.

"Clark seems to have some feelings towards her," Morgana observed astutely.

"Freya tends to have that effect on people, whether she realises it or not," Merlin clicked his tongue.

"Can we skin Steve alive? Set him on fire with a spell?" she referred to the old book sitting at the bottom of her small suitcase.

"If only," Merlin turned to smile at her.

"I'm glad Freya's okay," Morgana said sincerely. Freya'd dumped a man and been hit in the process. Morgana shuddered, extremely glad Freya had such protective friends.

"If only her parents would see it that way," Merlin bit his lip, "they just want to see her settled and she's tried to please them her entire life."

"Look where that got her. Hurt. She should do whatever the hell she wants," Morgana said.

Merlin smiled slightly. Of course that's what Morgana would say.

"Yeah. She should."

* * *

Before they knew, they were back at Albion University for their second year.

Merlin and Morgana had left only when they knew Freya was okay. She and Arianne would be flatmates for the year, and Will was always around anyway, so she would be fine (despite a fall-out with her parents).

Now they stood in front of the dormitory buildings with bags of their belongings. Well, Merlin and Arthur did. Gwen and Morgana were in their new, larger flat, organising their belongings. They had carried the heavier boxes for the girls. Lancelot was being a bit slow on the way back downstairs, and Merlin had an inkling that it was because he and Gwen were loath to part.

Finally, with Lancelot back, the three headed for the boys' dormitory. It was furnished like all of the flats were, and far larger than the one they had last year. There were three bedrooms, one for each of them.

"No more of Arthur's snoring," Merlin had said in relief as they unpacked their things.

Arthur scowled from his place in the kitchen where he and Lancelot stacked plates.

Lancelot tried to hide a laugh, failing miserably. Merlin too started to laugh and Arthur frowned.

"This is how the entire year is going to be, isn't it?" Arthur asked with a pout.

Merlin replied by tossing a sock at him.

"Great," Arthur muttered, fighting a grin.

* * *

Unpacking was going a lot more smoothly across the way in the girls' flat. Morgana had essentially chucked all of her clothes in the wardrobe in sections divided into bottoms and tops. An array of combat boots, regular boots, and Converse were piled on the bottom of the wardrobe. She couldn't be bothered with more organisation than that.

She ventured to Gwen's room and shook her head in amusement. She was still sorting through her wardrobe. One half of it was filled with blouses ranging in every pastel known to man. The colours were even organised from darkest to lightest. The other half held her jeans and trousers, while her shoes were neatly lined up at the bottom. Her trainers and flats were at the front while her heels and boots lined the back. Jumpers were neatly folded on the top shelf.

"You're done already?" Gwen asked in surprise.

"I'm not as meticulous as you, Gwen," Morgana shrugged.

As a child she'd always had her clothing organised for her, both at her parents' and with the Pendragons.

"I can help you organise," Gwen offered.

"How 'bout we get the boys and go for a pint instead?" Morgana offered. It was near dinnertime, anyway.

* * *

The pub had a more jovial attitude than it had in the summer. It was much more crowded, that was to be sure. Maybe it seemed cheerier because Gwaine was being his usual happy self instead of the sad shade that had taken him over while Percival was away. He was smiling and joking with everyone at the bar, so it must've meant his foul mood was gone.

Morgana took a long sip of beer, finally feeling like she could relax. It was calming to be at university, in a strange sort of way. She always felt like she had to be on guard around Uther all of the time. She still had an inkling that he may be her father, but she tried not to think about it.

Arthur was complaining about how their football coach had scheduled an early practise before classes even started, trying to get Lancelot to agree with him about how unfair it was.

"We do need to get into shape," Lancelot said diplomatically.

"I am fighting fit," Arthur scowled.

"Not if you keep drinking that much," Merlin snorted, smiling crookedly.

"Morgana, make your boyfriend be nicer to me," Arthur ordered.

"I can't really make him do anything, well…" Morgana grinned wickedly. There were a few things she could make Merlin do.

"Oh God!" Arthur paled, "you are sick."

Merlin banged his head against the table, laughing. Gwen turned a light shade of pink, still not completely used to the way Morgana's dirty mind worked. Lancelot took a sip of beer, pretending he didn't hear a thing.

Arthur closed his eyes, making Morgana burst into laughter.

"Your mind went there," Morgana accused her foster brother.

"I can never look you two in the eye ever again," he said, eyes still closed.

"You knew we were having sex," Morgana said bluntly.

Merlin groaned, head still against the table.

"No, you're usually louder," Morgana glanced at her boyfriend.

"Oh my God," Arthur closed his eyes tighter, "why?"

"Morgana, this is really awkward," Gwen squeaked. Lancelot nodded, still trying to pretend he wasn't there.

"Can we just erase this conversation from our memories?" Merlin lifted his head from the table, cheek pink.

"It can never be erased," Arthur opened his eyes, looking at Merlin in disgust.

Morgana laughed under her breath, only to earn glares from everyone at the table.

"Fine, no more sex jokes. Yeesh."

"Thank you," Arthur sighed in relief.

Morgana stood and slid on her light jacket, Merlin raising his brow in curiosity.

"I said no more sex jokes, not no more sex," she smirked.

Merlin stood from his seat immediately, "See you."

The pair practically bolted for the door, leaving their three friends behind. Arthur stared ahead blankly.

"I think he's gone into a shock induced coma," Gwen deadpanned.

"It'll wear off eventually," Lancelot said, slightly concerned, "how's your dad?"

"Good, thanks," Gwen smiled, glad to have a normal conversation.

"Thank God you two are boring," Arthur mumbled after a few minutes of light conversation.

* * *

Second year classes were far more interesting than those the year prior. No more 'Introduction to' or '101'. Now Morgana had Modern Philosophy, Creative Writing (with Merlin, much to her pleasure), Business Economics (with Arthur, a less pleasant pleasure), Chemistry (she'd neglected to take it the year prior) and Shakespeare. Of course, she, Merlin, and Lancelot were still part of the school paper and they'd have their meetings every day in the evening, as usual.

All in all, Morgana had high hopes for the year. Last year had been a roller coaster, what with finding out her parents were murdered and everything else, she just wanted a normal term. She had her boyfriend and her friends. Everything would be fine.

* * *

"Shit," Merlin cursed, dropping a book.

It was after class on a Tuesday afternoon, so he had gone to help Gaius. He was organising the recently returned books (Gaius let people borrow books, then return them if they didn't want to buy) when one had slipped out of his hands.

The bell above the door chimed and a man with dark, greying hair and short dark beard walked in, looking around.

"Hello, may I help you?" Merlin asked the man, all the while stuffing some books onto the shelf.

"I was wondering if Gaius was here," the older man said. He looked at Merlin strangely, as if he recognised him.

He was most certainly not from London, or England, for that matter.

"He's in the back, I'll go get him," Merlin smiled at the customer.

"Thank you," he said.

Merlin disappeared into the back, returning with Gaius, who was still reading.

"Honestly Merlin, who could possibly want to see me?" the elderly man said.

The customer took a deep breath upon hearing Merlin's name. Dark brown eyes sought out Merlin's blue. Merlin raised a brow, confused. Gaius finally looked up and let out a slight gasp.

"What do _you_ want?" Gaius said harshly.

"Only to speak with you," the customer said.

Merlin looked between the two.

"Merlin, you should get going," Gaius said quickly.

"But I've still got two hours on my shift," Merlin said in confusion.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Gaius said gently.

Merlin grinned, "Thanks, Gaius. I'll see you tomorrow."

Merlin left, walking away. Something nagged at him, so he doubled back to the door, pressing his ear against it. Luckily for him, Gaius was angry and prone to yelling when angry.

"_Why have you come back?" Gaius asked._

_"I'm here to see my son," the stranger said._

_"Not likely," Gaius sounded angry._

_"I spoke to Hunith," he sounded desperate._

_"You cannot waltz into that boy's life twenty years after deserting him!"_

_"I need to explain," the stranger pleaded._

_"Leave, Balinor. It's the one thing you can be counted on to do."_

Merlin's heart nearly stopped. Balinor. His father. His father was back. He wanted to see him. He began to walk towards the campus, bleary-eyed and confused. He didn't notice the rush of cars or the pedestrians or anything. It was a wonder he wasn't run over when crossing the streeet.

The man's face, his father's face, swam before his eyes. What did he mean that he'd spoken to Hunith? What did he want? Why was he here, after all these years?

He ended up in front of the girls' dormitories without realising it. He hit the intercom buzzer repeatedly, fingers shaking. He needed a cigarette (despite it being nearly a year after quitting). He needed Morgana.

"What?" came Morgana's rough voice. She'd probably been annoyed at the constant buzzing of the bell.

"Morgana," Merlin's voice came out in a choked sob, unable to say anything else.

Within what seemed like mere moments Morgana rushed out to him, worried.

"What's wrong?" Morgana asked, hugging Merlin.

He fought a scream and tried to collect himself.

"I saw my dad," he mumbled into her hair.

"What?" Morgana sounded confused.

"He was at the shop. Wanted to see Gaius," Merlin sniffed.

Morgana untangled herself from him and linked her arm in his. They began to walk aimlessly, though Morgana knew where'd they'd end up, their little courtyard. It was the middle of September and summer was beginning to fade into autumn, light breeze nipping at their bare arms.

That didn't matter now, though. What mattered was that Merlin was a mess, and he was never a mess. He was always calm, reserved, and a bit cheeky. She needed to be there for him like he'd been there for her.

They walked in silence, Morgana not daring to say anything until Merlin was ready. He used the hand not linked with Morgana's to wipe his face hastily. His eyes were red and he looked paler than ever.

They had reached their courtyard and immediately settled under a tree on the lush grass. Morgana snuggled next to Merlin, waiting.

"I've always wondered what it'd be like to meet him," he shared softly, "I'd ask him why he left. Why he didn't want me. Then he'd apologise and say he wants us to be a family. When I was younger I made up a story that he was kidnapped by pirates and that's why he was gone."

He laughed bitterly, and Morgana closed her eyes, trying not to cry with him. What had they done to deserve such utterly fucked up families?

"My mum always gets sad the weeks before my birthday. It's when he left, apparently. Disappeared without a word," Merlin wiped at his face again, "but all she says is that they loved each other a lot. I don't believe it."

"Merlin," Morgana rubbed his shoulder. He bent his head low, not wanting to let her see him cry.

"Sorry for unloading this on you," he said, echoing her words from nearly a year ago when she thought she would go mad.

"Never, ever apologise. You need to vent," Morgana said softly.

Merlin looked up and Morgana brushed his cheek with her thumb and kissed him on the brow.

"I'm acting like a stupid kid," Merlin frowned.

"Your father just turned up after nineteen years, you're allowed to be angry," Morgana pressed her lips to his in comfort.

Merlin closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Stay the night?" Merlin asked quietly.

Morgana nodded, "I'd stay every night with you, you know that."

* * *

Morgause had essentially handed over the flat to Morgana after the wedding. She and Cendred had purchased a larger flat (one that took up the entire third floor) in the West End, leaving this smaller, but still nice flat, to Morgana.

Merlin and Morgana had taken to staying there often, usually weekends. This time they were tender and quiet. It was different, sweeter.

"I'm never going to let you go," Merlin mumbled sleepily, Morgana curled up against him. She was one of the few constants in his life, besides their friends. He didn't know whether he could trust his mother, who'd apparently been in contact with his father, or Gaius, who sent him away like a little boy.

"Like I'd let you let me go," Morgana kissed his shoulder.

Merlin turned to face her, his breath warm on her face.

"I love you," he said, eyes wide and serious and so incredibly blue.

Morgana smiled and ran her thumb over the sharp turn of his cheek, down to his lips.

"I love you, too," she kissed him.

"Really?" Merlin said, not quite believing his ears.

"Do I need to shout it?" Morgana asked amusedly.

"Not necessary," he looked at her in wonder.

They should always be as they were in that moment. Morgana's wavy hair was mussed, green eyes bright and happy, lips pink from constant kisses. Merlin's hair stuck out on end.

Morgana kissed him once more, not hearing the faint buzz of her mobile buried somewhere in her purse. It was probably Gwen, calling to check up on them, but they were in their own world and she didn't want to leave.

* * *

**So this was a bit angsty with some fluff at the end. Merlin wants and gets answers from Balinor next chapter, and they're not what he expected. Please review.**


	24. Return of the Father

**Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and I'm sorry about the wait. It's just that university has gotten hectic. Also, I've been going through, renaming the chapters instead of using numbers.**

* * *

**Return of the Father  
**

"Are you alright, Merlin?" Gaius asked the very next day as Merlin sullenly piled books on top of each other.

No, actually, he wasn't. He'd overslept and was late to his organic chemistry class that he had first thing in the morning. His trek had taken longer since he and Morgana were at Morgause's old flat (_their_ flat, in everything but name to be honest), and he had left a still-sleeping Morgana when all he wanted to do was barricade himself in those walls with her and never leave.

The only reason they were even there was because it seemed like all the adults in his life, the people he trusted most, had lied to him. Gaius had sent away his father just yesterday. Who was to say he didn't send him away twenty years ago?

"Fine," Merlin said.

"Is it your classes? Did you and Morgana get into an argument?" Gaius pried.

Merlin turned to face the old man. Gaius frowned upon seeing the bags under Merlin's blood shot eyes. It was still fairly early in the day; his class had ended at noon. So Merlin went to his shift, despite feeling like punching a wall.

"Merlin," Gaius said gently.

"I'm just tired, Gaius, that's all."

Tired of being treated like a child. Tired of being lied to. Tired of not knowing the truth. Just tired.

* * *

Morgana was in a mood. She had woken up to a missing Merlin (damn that chemistry class), which was the worst thing to wake up to. He'd been a dear and left a quick, apologetic note, and toast and coffee in the kitchen. It was cold by the time she dragged herself out of bed, but it was the thought that counted.

She went back to her and Gwen's flat to change, scowling at the cloudy weather. Her attire from the night before consisted of jeans, sandals and a grungy old shirt. It had been warm yesterday, but the weather had taken a turn for the worst.

Morgana found her flat empty; Gwen already had gone to class. She checked the time, deciding that she should skip a shower and be on her way to her own class. She pulled out old jeans a shirt, slipped on her converse, and tossed on a hooded jacket, grabbed her bag, and headed out the door.

* * *

She walked into the lecture hall to find Arthur already there, typing furiously on his phone.

"Hey," she greeted, sitting next to him.

Arthur nodded, still staring at the mobile.

"What's wrong?" Morgana asked.

"Dad's got some issues going on in Parliament, it's near re-election," Arthur said simply.

"He's already been in office for two terms," Morgana said, biting her lips. The old law used to state that the Prime Minister could only serve for two terms, but was changed in the 1940s after WWII. Uther could be Prime Minister for two more terms (eight more long years) if he so wished.

She frowned. Was she really only eleven when they moved into Downing Street?

"Yeah, well, you know dad," Arthur put his mobile aside.

He looked at his foster sister, "You okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled a bit, remembering the night before. Merlin loved her and she loved him. Everything would be just fine.

"I don't want to know," Arthur said quickly, afraid of being scarred for life once more.

Morgana smirked and took out her folder full of papers. Arthur looked like he'd forgotten something.

"Can I borrow a pen?" he asked before the professor came in.

Morgana handed him one from her bag, "Why say 'borrow' when you know you're going to keep it?"

Arthur shrugged.

* * *

Gwen watched the pair nervously as they ate dinner. Neither Merlin nor Morgana had spoken much at all. They sent each other looks that Gwen couldn't decipher, and it was driving her mad. They needed to be okay. They had to be.

Lancelot and Arthur weren't even there to start up a conversation because of their football practise.

So Gwen Smith was left alone with her two brooding best friends. She took a bite of her salad, chewing forcefully.

"Are you okay?" Morgana lifted her eyes from her soup.

Gwen nearly snorted, "I should be asking you that."

Merlin and Morgana exchanged a glance, and Merlin shrugged.

"I know you two were with each other last night. Did you get in a fight?" she asked in concern.

"No, nothing like that," Merlin said, surprised.

Gwen glared at them, biting her tongue to keep from demanding answers.

"I saw my dad yesterday," Merlin admitted.

Gwen's eyes widened, "Oh."

"He went to Gaius to see me," he elaborated.

"What did he say?" Gwen asked.

"Nothing," Merlin said, "Gaius sent me away."

It was one of those rare occasions when Merlin looked truly angry, his usually bright blue eyes darkening.

"Oh," was all Gwen could say.

Morgana took Merlin's hand in comfort and Merlin smiled at her, a soft, fleeting smile, before turning stony once more. Merlin was kind, warm-hearted, and incredibly sweet by nature. Upset, angry Merlin was a person she wasn't used to, and all Gwen could do was hope that Merlin's father had a damn good reason for abandoning such a sweet person.

* * *

Morgana and Arthur sat in awkward silence at dinner the next day. Friday night dinner, as planned by Uther, was different this time. Uther had received a call and practically bounded up the stairs to his study nearly an hour ago and hadn't yet returned.

"You're not telling me something," Morgana stared down her foster brother.

"What?" he asked, fork of steak halfway to his mouth.

She raised an eyebrow and he pouted.

"It's like you know everything," he set the fork down.

"Spill," Morgana ordered.

"One of the ladies in Parliament who's running against Uther found out about how he may or not be your dad, and is using it against him. Something about telling the papers if he doesn't reject the nomination," Arthur sighed. He wasn't exactly clear on the details, and he hadn't found out what else was troubling his dad, but he couldn't keep what he knew from Morgana.

Morgana paled. She'd finally put that behind her, as much as she could, anyway. She wouldn't have Uther's politics make her take a paternity test. Gorlois was her father, and that was that.

"He won't make you take the test," Arthur said softly, "he wouldn't hurt you like that."

Morgana nodded, numb. She took a sip of her soda, hands shaking slightly.

* * *

Gaius looked at Merlin in concern as the boy took down inventory. He'd offered to stay later since Morgana was at the Pendragon's for dinner anyway. He looked paler than usual, his face drawn. He was upset about something and Gaius wanted to know why.

"Merlin," Gaius said, "what's troubling you?"

Merlin looked at Gaius blankly, trying to keep his anger from bubbling to the surface.

"Did you send my dad away the first time, too?" he asked quietly.

"What?" Gaius's eyes widened. It would've been funny had Merlin not been so upset.

"I know that man who came the other day was Balinor. I'm not a child, Gaius. I have a right to see my father," Merlin was still eerily quiet.

"Merlin, he abandoned you and your mother," Gaius set his jaw sternly.

"I'd like to hear an explanation of why, Gaius," Merlin glared, "it's not like I'm going to go and have father-son bonding moments with him."

"Merlin, you're better off not knowing him," Gaius said wearily.

"Did he love mum?" Merlin asked softly.

Gaius looked away, "Too much, I think."

"Then I want to know why he left," Merlin said with a tone of finality.

"Some things are better left not knowing," Gaius was solemn, resigned.

* * *

Arthur watched as Merlin paced about their flat. Morgana was there, leaving Gwen and Lancelot to her flat for their after-date plans. Arthur didn't want to think of those plans, whatever they were.

Morgana flipped through _Clash of Kings _folding the corners of the pages she liked. She'd brought over her textbooks for Merlin to help her with chemistry, but he was busy pacing the length of the flat.

Arthur stood in the kitchen, waiting for the tea to steep. Merlin was a ball of nerves, mobile in hand. He'd found his father's number, through Gaius. So he called and left a message, and now awaited a response.

"Merlin, sit down," Morgana bit her lip.

"Can't," he muttered, still pacing.

"He'll call," Morgana said.

"What if he changed his mind? What if he doesn't want to talk to me after all?" he fretted, still pacing.

"For the love of God, sit your arse down and drink your tea," Arthur grumbled, bringing the tea mugs into the living room and set them on the table.

Merlin rolled his eyes at his friend and flatmate and continued to pace, if only just to vex him further.

"Morgana," Arthur pouted, "you're bossy. Why won't he listen?"

"Because he's not a trained puppy," Morgana shook her head, setting aside the book.

Merlin apparently couldn't hear their bickering, and instead continued to pace and stare at his mobile.

Arthur had half the mind to chuck it out the window, but then both Morgana and Merlin would get angry at him. The two of them angry honestly scared him. Morgana was always a bit terrifying, and he was certain under Merlin's harmless surface there was rage waiting to be let out. Best to stay on their good side.

The mobile rang. Merlin's eyes widened and he stopped pacing. Unkown number.

"Answer it, you clotpole," Arthur shouted.

"That's my word," Merlin scowled.

"Answer the phone, Merlin," Morgana said gently before glaring at Arthur.

Merlin put the mobile to his ear.

"Hello?" he said with shaky breath.

His brows furrowed and he went to his room, closing the door behind him.

Arthur and Morgana were left on the couch, staring at the door. Morgana tried to stand to press her ear against the door to listen. Arthur grabbed her arm lightly.

"Leave him. He'll tell us when he's ready," Arthur said.

Morgana sat back down slowly, "Look at you, Mr Sensitive."

"Shut up," he whacked her with a pillow.

"Aaaand you're back," Morgana grinned.

* * *

Merlin sat on a bench in Hyde Park the next day. He fidgeted in his spot, unsure of what to say. When Balinor had seen him there, he merely stared.

It's like he was taking in his appearance, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. Merlin looked at his father blankly. Dark hair turning grey, dark eyes, scruff, wrinkles around his eyes, thick brows, olive skin.

"Sit, please," Balinor said.

So they sat down on a bench, staring at their shoes.

Merlin finally mustered the strength to speak, "Where were you? Why did you leave?"

"It's an incredibly long story," Balinor sighed.

"I've got time," Merlin said.

It was true. He had loads of time. It was Sunday, after all.

Balinor took a deep breath, "Your mother and I met in Belfast, at university. This was still in the 80s, mind you. I fell in love with her, incredibly fast and incredibly hard. Her parents, your grandparents, didn't approve very much."

"They died when I was three," Merlin interjected.

Balinor seemed to process this bit of information before going on, "So we graduated, got married, and moved to London. I was a business major, and got a job at Camelot Enterprises, now Co., as an assistant to Uther Pendragon."

Merlin's eyes widened. His father used to work for _Uther_, of all people. That still didn't explain the abandonment, though.

"That was in 1988. Then Uther moved onto politics and Aggravaine took over. I stayed, since we needed the money," Balinor paused, "now that Aggravaine's in jail, it was safe to come back."

"What happened?" Merlin was on the edge of his seat.

"A few years after Aggravaine took over, the company started undergoing some changes. They weren't dealing in just electricity and solar panels anymore."

"Nuclear energy," Merlin said, remembering Morgana's rant.

Balinor raised a brow.

"I read the news," Merlin waved off his knowledge.

"Anyway, I found out about it, the supposed secret. Uther had no idea. He trusted Aggravaine, his brother-in-law, don't you know. What they were doing was illegal, and I said something to Aggravaine. He got angry, fired me, basically," he ran a hand through his greying hair, "so we moved to Armagh, near your grandparents. They hated me. Turns out that one of Uther's old buddies had been suspicious, and ended up dead, both him and his wife, years later. I knew him, I knew them," Balinor got a faraway look on his face.

_The Lefays, _Merlin knew that was who his father meant. But that was after he abandoned them. There was a ten-year gap there.

"That doesn't explain why you abandoned us," Merlin bit his lip.

"Aggravaine Brittany was a dangerous man, Merlin. You know what happened to those who crossed him."

"That was after you left," Merlin was growing tired of Balinor's rambling story that was leaving him with more questions than answers.

"And that was when that poor man was only digging for the truth. I saw documents I never should have. We moved, but that wasn't enough to get away from him. He found out where we were, and that your mother was pregnant, sent a congratulations card," Balinor frowned, "I knew I couldn't stay. He'd kill to keep those nuclear tests under wraps. He did kill."

"Who?" Merlin's eyes widened once more.

"Employees who questioned him. Nosy reporters, so-called friends," Balinor said, "and all of this before you were born. I couldn't risk it. Better I disappear than you or Hunith get hurt for my secret."

"Did mum know?" Merlin gulped.

"I left her a letter. I didn't tell her about Aggravaine, no. That was too risky. I told her I loved her and I was so, so sorry, and I told her to look after you," Balinor said, finishing his story.

"You could've gone to the police, to Uther, to anyone!" Merlin nearly shouted.

"Who were they going to believe? A lowly assistant who'd gotten fired or the CEO?"

Merlin frowned, knowing Balinor had a point.

"People died, Merlin, all for his nuclear arms testing when he should've just focused on alternatives like wind," Balinor laughed bitterly, "the pursuit of money."

"You missed all of my birthdays. Christmases. School plays. Graduation," Merlin said solemnly.

"I am so, so sorry. You're all grown up and I've missed it all."

Balinor wiped at his face, not letting Merlin see the tears. He felt responsible, in a way, for the Lefays' deaths. Had he told Uther about Aggravaine's schemes, they would still be alive. He'd only spoken with Gorlois and his wife, Vivienne, a handful of times, but they were nice people.

"You're here now," Merlin offered a weak smile, "what about Gaius?"

"What about him?"

"He didn't make you leave, then?"

Balinor laughed, "Heavens, no. He's just upset that I left for no good reason."

"Are you going to see mum?" Merlin asked a bit like a child.

"I don't think she wants to see me," Balinor looked off in the distance.

"She never got married again, you know. Never dated," Merlin said lightly.

"She deserves to be happy," Balinor glanced at his son who had her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes.

"Then go see her," Merlin said, watching as Balinor's face split into a grin, tears welling in his eyes.

"She raised you right, she didn't need me," Balinor said.

"You're wrong. We did need you," Merlin looked at his shoes once more.

"I can't apologise enough," Balinor murmured.

"Balinor," Merlin said suddenly, "why is mum afraid of magic?"

The older man's eyes widened before he schooled his features to indifference, "Magic's not real."

His voice was gruff, and Merlin didn't believe him. Blue eyes bore into brown ones.

"I dabbled with magic when I was younger," he admitted, looking ashamed. He'd still been in university, then. So young and trusting, so foolish.

"Dabbled how?" Merlin asked curiously.

"Magic is dangerous," Balinor said, growing irritated.

"Magic is all around us, it's in us, it's in me, you," Merlin pointed out.

"Practising magic is a whole different world, Merlin. It's not like in the stories. It can destroy and kill, and is best left alone," Balinor's brown eyes darkened.

Merlin bit his lip, certain that Hunith's fear of magic had something to do from when they were younger, probably before they'd even moved to London.

"What happened?" Merlin asked.

"It was too powerful for me, and I lost control. That's what happens when nature is disturbed and magic used," Balinor said vaguely.

"You didn't hurt mum," Merlin said worriedly, eyes going dark.

"Never. Not even under the influence of the dark arts," Balinor said, "but I became too consumed with it."

All Merlin could think of was how Morgana had made him watch episodes of Buffy, and how the uptight Uther look-a-like used to be into dark magic, and the other episodes where the ginger girl abused magic.

"Go to mum, talk to her," was all Melrin could say to his father.

Balinor moved, as if to hug him, and Merlin accepted awkwardly. It was too soon, but if his father was telling the truth, then he couldn't be too upset with him. He was only trying to protect his family.

* * *

Morgana scanned the page, wondering what would happen if she said a spell aloud. Merlin was in the kitchen, making tea.

She mumbled 'Topspringe' to open the door, and nothing happened. Feeling defeated, she closed the book. Gaius was right. Magic wasn't real, not truly, and they weren't the Lady and Emrys.

Merlin set the tea on the coffee table and sat next to her. She curled into him.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Better than I thought. He was acquainted with your parents. That's why my mum asked about your mum," Merlin explained.

Morgana smiled. Maybe that's why they were always drawn to one another. People from their past had woven their futures together.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Aggravaine," Merlin muttered.

Morgana scowled. Leave it to Aggravaine to ruin everyone's life. She shouldn't have been surprised.

"So your dad was onto the nuclear thing," Morgana said, "great minds, huh?"

"Yeah," Merlin smiled a bit at that.

"I'm glad you're not upset anymore," Morgana kissed him on the cheek.

"Me too," he wrapped his arm around her, "What's been bothering you?"

Morgana smiled at that. It's like he read her mind, "Political rivals trying to dig dirt up on Uther."

Merlin's smile faded. He knew what that meant, and squeezed her shoulder in comfort.

"I'm not going to let it get to me," Morgana said as lightly as she could.

* * *

It felt wrong to be in his father's study without his permission. Uther was at a meeting, which came as no surprise. Arthur took the opportunity to creep into the study. If anyone asked, he'd claim to be searching for a book. It was a thin excuse, since he'd never been one much for reading. That was more Morgana's brilliant excuse.

He crept over to the desk, feeling incredibly guilty. He sifted through some documents on the desk. Just budgetary plans, notes from previous meetings, tax cuts. Nothing interesting. He moved towards the file cabinet, not surprised to see that there was a key.

Arthur groaned and pulled at the top cabinet, eyes widening when it pulled open. Just his luck. He browsed through, most of the files being labelled as 'budget' or 'Acts'. One, however, was unmarked.

He looked around, as if waiting for one of the house's staff to walk in on him. He plucked the file folder from the drawer and opened it, reading. He frowned. It was just about Aggravaine's arrest and imprisonment, and the circumstances of the death of the Lefays. He scanned the pages, Nuclear testing, yeah that was in all the papers. What else?

Arthur snarled and placed the document back, closing the drawer. All his worrying about being caught was for nothing. He had found out absolutely nothing.

* * *

Life went on. Classes continued and a semblance of normalcy had returned to their lives. Balinor had gone to Armagh, where he and Hunith were striking up a tentative friendship, with Balinor moving into a nearby flat. Merlin planned to go see them both for Christmas in a few months. He'd also forgiven Gaius for trying to hide Balinor from him; it was in his nature to forgive, anyway.

Gwen still worked at the café. She and Lancelot were still very much together. Arthur was still, well, Arthur, and he had begun hanging out with Vivian, much to Leon's annoyance. They had danced together at Arthur's party, but both Leon and Vivian had been insanely drunk. To her credit, Vivian seemed incredibly bored when just in Arthur's presence, and perked up a great deal when Leon joined them. Arthur had unsurprisingly decided to move on as he found himself a third wheel. (He was the third wheel with Morgana and Merlin, with Lancelot and Gwen, with Percival and Gwaine, and now with Vivian and Leon).

A new student, Mithian, was incredibly beautiful but incredibly aloof. She had rebuffed all of Arthur's advances, making her only the second woman to do so, the first being Gwen.

He was the Prime Minister's son and extremely good-looking, yet he never went on more than a handful of dates with the same girl. It was like a revolving door of girls would come and go every week or so. Even Vivian had accepted a date at first, before growing bored.

On a brighter note, Percy and Gwaine were the most sickeningly adorable couple Morgana had beheld.

She sat in the library, analysing _Hamlet_ for a paper due in a few days. Percival was in her class, so he had been sitting with her until Gwaine had shown up with a surprise of hot coco. It was perfect, as the weather had cooled to an October chill. Morgana smiled at them.

"Princess," Gwaine greeted, sitting next to Percy.

"Gwaine," Morgana smirked, eyeing the hot coco a bit jealously.

"Don't look too upset," Gwaine said cryptically.

Morgana raised a brow, just as she spotted Merlin with two take-away cups of what appeared to be a tea and a coffee. She grinned.

"Saw him in line at the café," Gwaine winked at her. Percy grinned.

"Hey," he greeted, setting the cups down. He pecked Morgana on the cheek before taking a seat.

"Coffee's mine," she snatched it immediately.

"Duh," Merlin snorted. She consumed large amounts of caffeine whenever an important paper was due, or whenever she had an exam.

"You know me well," Morgana said happily, taking a sip.

"We've still got work to do," Percival said gently, trying to get rid of his boyfriend, as well as Morgana's.

"I can help," Gwaine said with a small smirk, kissing Percy's cheek.

"That's not going to help," Percy said in a low voice.

"When's this due?" Gwaine asked.

"Two days," Percival answered, noticing Gwaine's wicked grin.

Percival quickly packed his belongings into his bag and smiled apologetically at Morgana in farewell. Gwaine waved, practically sauntering out the door.

Morgana and Merlin shared a look before bursting into laughter. They were shushed by a librarian, which caused them to laugh more.

* * *

"I can't believe we got kicked out of the library," Morgana snorted in amusement. She kicked a fallen leaf, warm cup of coffee still in hand.

Merlin took a sip of his tea, "First time for everything."

Morgana took his hand with her empty one. He smiled at her and they continued on their way to the dorms.

It was the small things that counted, really. In the mess that were their dysfunctional families, they had each other. They had their friends, and they knew they'd never be alone.

* * *

Arthur and Gwen sat in silence, save for the tapping of a pen against a table. Lancelot, Merlin, and Morgana were at a meeting for the newspaper.

Gwen read her textbook quietly, taking notes as needed. Arthur glanced up from his book ever so often, strange look on his face.

"What?" Gwen finally snapped after an hour of Arthur's odd behaviour.

"Nothing," Arthur shook his head.

"Arthur," Gwen's nostrils flared.

"You just get this look on your face when you're concentrating, your eyebrow wrinkles," Arthur said, turning a light shade of pink.

Gwen bit her lip, trying to fight a smile.

"Just keep reading," she said quietly, not wanting to draw the librarian's attention.

"Sorry," Arthur mumbled, feeling like an idiot.

Gwen smiled at him and shook her head.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing. You're just full of surprises," Gwen said, turning a page.

"That's good?" he raised a brow.

"Yeah, it is," Gwen said, smiling wider upon seeing Arthur's little grin. She had been wrong, before. He wasn't as much as a prat as she thought he was. What a difference a year made.

"Do you want to go get tea?" Arthur asked softly, "we could come straight back to study."

"Okay," Gwen agreed easily. She rarely turned down tea, and it's not like they were being irresponsible. They'd be back straightaway to study and then their friends would join them to prepare for midterms. It was just tea.

* * *

**So, Balinor. The shit will hit the fan, so to speak, in the next chapter regarding Uther's worries. It's already written up, so I may post it in the middle of the week instead of in a week. Please review. **


	25. Tears of Uther Pendragon

**Thank you for your continued support!**

* * *

**Tears of Uther Pendragon  
**

No one had really realised what Uther was so worried about until every media outlet in the nation, possibly the world, was reporting on his 'sordid affair' and his involvement in the nuclear arms scandal that had put Aggravaine in prison.

Morgana brought a hand to her mouth as she read, eyes filling with tears. It was near noon. Midterms were over, and tomorrow would be the Halloween party (or as Morgana and Merlin called it, a 'bastardization of ancient traditions; Gwaine merely called it another reason to drink).

Everything had been going well, only to be ruined. Gwen read the paper over Morgana's shoulder, jaw widening in shock.

All over the front page were accusations of Uther's infidelity, his affair with Vivienne Lefay, him being behind the deaths of the Lefays, and being in league with Aggravaine from the very beginning. According to this article, Aggravaine wasn't the mastermind, Uther was.

Morgana let out a strangled swear, reading and re-reading the article. She would be forever known as the bastard of the Prime Minister, and Gorlois would be known as the idiot who cared for another man's child. Arthur would be the son of an adulterer. Uther would be made into a villain, no matter the good he did for the nation.

"No," she whispered. Every terrible thing she could have imagined was coming true, "NO!"

"Morgana," Gwen placed a soft hand on her shoulder.

"How do I make this go away?" Morgana said sadly.

The press knew both she and Arthur attended Albion University. They knew that both of them lived in the dorms. The reporters had always kept their distance and respected their privacy, but now? Now she wasn't so sure.

"Morgana, relax," Gwen hugged Morgana close.

Morgana wrapped her arms tightly around Gwen, closing her eyes. Gwen whispered soothing words and decided to make some tea, because tea fixed everything.

* * *

CRASH. SMASH. The mug smashed against the wall and he kicked the couch.

"URGH!" Arthur yelled in frustration.

Lancelot and Merlin shared a wary glance. They had all seen the paper, with the headline in large block letters, **SHAMES OF UTHER PENDRAGON, HIS SECRET CHILD AND STATE SECRETS**.

"This is slander," Lancelot said, frowning. He didn't understand how anyone could publish it, and how the Prime Minister's personal life was anyone's business.

"I don't care what it is! All I care about right now are Morgana and my dad," Arthur snapped, breathing heavily.

He wanted to find whoever wrote that piece of trash and beat him bloody. He knew that Morgana may be his sister by blood, but it was the rest of the article that made no sense. Why would Uther deal with nuclear energy? He was long retired as CEO when Aggravaine's schemes came into play. He was also absolutely certain Uther played no part in the deaths of Morgana's parents.

Most of all, Arthur was worried for Morgana. She'd been fine, as of late, but not so long ago she was precariously close to the deep end of drowning in her own self-pity. Now her personal life was out there for the masses to consume and it made him sick. He'd been under far more scrutiny by the press than Morgana ever had been, and he had gotten used to it. For the most part, his privacy had been respected, except maybe a few times when he'd been caught out on a date. It'd been harmless. Now, it wasn't so harmless.

Arthur looked at Merlin desperately, trying to gauge his reaction. Merlin's hands were curled up in fists and he looked just as upset as Arthur.

"This changes everything, doesn't it?" Lancelot looked between his two friends in concern.

"I think so," Merlin said grimly.

* * *

The number of reporters and photographers in front of the flats was too much. There were so many of them, camera flashes going off in their eyes.

Lancelot, Arthur, and Merlin stood in a line to get through. Lancelot led them past, Arthur in the middle, and Merlin at the end. Arthur was blocked by Lancelot and Merlin so no one could get a good photo of him. Arthur had forgone the sunglasses and cap disguise, very well aware of what awaited him. He only wondered what his father dealt with at the moment.

* * *

Morgana had hugged him as if she was afraid she'd never see him again. Merlin hugged her, letting her bury her head in his shoulder. He looked over her shoulder to Arthur, who looked a bit hurt that his foster sister had ignored him.

Gwen made Lancelot and Arthur sit while Morgana and Merlin embraced. She brought them mugs of tea before settling herself on the couch.

"Please don't leave," Morgana whispered.

"I'd never," Merlin kissed her softly.

Morgana disentangled herself from him and looked at Arthur with wide, sad eyes.

"How are you holding up?" she asked.

"Well, considering my father's been accused of terrible things," Arthur said wryly.

Lancelot bit his lip, "He could take the paper to court. It's slander, and an invasion of privacy, where it's written about Morgana. He could probably get an action against any of the press bothering you two, as well."

Arthur's grim frown turned into a small smile and he clapped Lancelot on the shoulder.

"I could kiss you," Arthur said.

"No need," Lancelot inched away, much to everyone's amusement. The mood had been lifted, somewhat.

"Uther will never get re-elected if he doesn't prove I'm not his daughter and that he had no part in my parents' deaths, the nukes, all of it," Morgana said, dampening the mood once more.

"He's not going to make you take the paternity test," Arthur said in reassurance.

"I owe it to him, though. After all he's done for me…Gorlois was and always will be my father, no matter blood," Morgana looked pensive, and Merlin wrapped an arm around her.

"So, what time should we be at the pub for the party?" Gwen tried to change the topic to tomorrow's party.

* * *

Somehow, they made it to the pub without catching the attention of any of the reporters staking out the campus. Percy was guarding the entrance, just in case, letting in only those invited.

The owner of the pub, the mysterious old man who few had ever seen, called 'the Great Dragon' had allowed it, so long as everyone paid for their drinks.

Once inside, Percy and Gwaine made sure all the exits were closed, and all the window blinds drawn.

Morgana was relieved to see that the people assembled weren't idiots, or some of the students who'd smirked at her earlier in the day, muttering 'bastard' as she walked by. She had used the impassive expression she had perfected in secondary school, while Merlin glared daggers at them, dark blue eyes flashing angrily.

Arthur and Morgana were taking the whole ordeal in stride. They'd dressed in their costumes, and gone in public, like normal people. They were moving on, scrutiny or no.

Morgana had thrown together an outfit comprised of tight black jeans and a green and yellow shirt, gloves, and a hooded cloak-like jacket in an attempt to look like Rogue from X-Men. Merlin was dressed as Gambit, wearing a faded red shirt so worn it was more pink than red, his brown jacket, and dark jeans, all the while carrying a pack of cards.

Gwen wore a pale pink dress fit for a princess, and Lancelot was dressed as a knight. It was fitting for the pair of them. Arthur had decided to go as a vampire, white powder caked on his face and wearing a leather jacket. Merlin had decided Arthur wasn't just any vampire, but Spike.

Arthur had been startled to find Mithian in line for drinks wielding a wooden stake, a large silver cross around her neck.

"I love your costume," Morgana grinned at Mithian's get-up. She was Buffy, and she looked the part.

"Thanks, yours too," Mithian smiled easily.

Arthur rolled his eyes and Mithian's smile faded, "Are you looking for a fight?"

"I'm not going to fight a girl," Arthur snorted.

Mithian scowled, "Don't make me use this."

She pressed the stake to Arthur's chest and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm sorry about what the papers say. I don't believe them, by the way," she pulled away and collected her drink, looking at Morgana apologetically.

"Thanks," she nodded.

The party was in full swing. Gwaine and Percival were dressed as pirates, Leon had dressed up as Frankenstein, and Vivian was some sort of pop star. Sophia was thankfully missing, and Elena seemed to be speaking to Tristan and his girlfriend Isolde animatedly.

They were among friendly people, and for that, they were thankful.

The party went on, with Morgana and Merlin animatedly talking to Gwen about Samhain and the myths associated with the harvest day. It was nice to get their minds off of the more pressing matters.

Arthur sulked over to their table, ale in hand.

"What now?" Merlin asked.

"Mithian staked me when I asked if she wanted to dance," he pouted, downing his drink.

Morgana grinned, "You've seen _Buffy_. You know what happens after she and Spike try to kill each other."

Arthur smiled and Gwen snorted, trying not to laugh.

"What?" Arthur looked to Gwen.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up with Mithian if I were you," Gwen said.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"She doesn't seem interested," Gwen shrugged.

Merlin narrowed his eyes and looked past them towards the bar where a knight and Buffy were speaking.

"No," Arthur followed Merlin's gaze. He would not let another woman fall for Lancelot in favour of him. What did Lancelot have that he didn't? Sure, Lancelot was tall, dark, and handsome, not to mention extremely polite.

Gwen followed their gaze and scowled, "That's not what I meant."

"Relax, Gwen. Lancelot's totally in love with you," Morgana smiled reassuringly.

"I'm relaxed. He's allowed to talk to whoever he wants," Gwen said stiffly, just as Lancelot excused himself to head back towards their table.

"Nice chat?" Merlin asked with a smirk.

"She's nice, Arthur. I don't understand why you complain about her," Lancelot slid into the chair next to Gwen.

"Oh, she's nice, how wonderful," Gwen muttered into her drink.

Arthur grinned and Gwen shot him an icy glare. Lancelot looked at Merlin and Morgana, asking for an explanation as to why Gwen was in a mood. Morgana shrugged apologetically and Merlin merely passed him a cup of ale.

"Care to dance, m'lady?" Lancelot asked after a few minutes of light conversation.

"Yes, my knight," Gwen took his hand, her sour mood gone.

The night wore on, troubles seemingly forgotten. Gwen and Lancelot ended up swaying slowly to the music blaring from the radio. Arthur and Mithian had found themselves having a civil conversation. Gwaine and Percy were in the corner, snogging quite ferociously.

Morgana and Merlin knocked back drinks at their table, empty shot glasses in front of them.

Morgana sighed, slouching slightly, resting her chin on her hand.

"Had enough to drink?" Merlin asked, taking one more shot of vodka.

"Hmm, I think so," she said. Her speech wasn't slurred, though one or two more drinks may have done the trick.

"How are you feeling, about everything?" Merlin asked seriously.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than him.

Merlin reached across the table and took her hand. Morgana smiled.

"Since we've got a long weekend, maybe you should stay at the flat," Merlin suggested.

Morgana nodded. She'd been thinking of that. No one but their friends knew that she and Merlin frequently stayed at her new (Morgause's old) flat. No one would find her and pester her.

"Sounds good," she said with a small smile.

* * *

They ventured to the flat, taking the tube, completely bypassing the press waiting outside the pub.

Gwen had sent Morgana a message, informing them that the amount of reporters had lessened, but a few were still camped out, despite the campus security issuing a warning, and the threat of the police.

Morgana sighed and collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering with her cloak. Merlin shrugged out of his jacket and sat next to her.

Morgana eyed him with a small smile, "So, Gambit, you need some help with those clothes?"

"I believe I do, Rogue," Merlin smirked, kissing her.

Morgana deepened the kiss eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Part of it was the alcohol. Part of it was her wanting to forget her problems. The main part of it was just being so consumed with Merlin, and his lips, and his hands, and the stubble that scratched her cheek as he kissed her.

* * *

Morgana refused to turn the telly on. Merlin had suggested watch the news reports just to see if maybe everything had blown over. She knew it hadn't. She didn't need confirmation of that.

Merlin had cooked them a late breakfast of eggs, toast, sausage, and made coffee.

"I can't spend my life hiding from the world," Morgana stabbed the eggs as they sat at the kitchen table.

Merlin nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"But they're going to want interviews and press releases and shit," Morgana frowned.

"Do you want to take the paternity test? Don't think about Uther. Just think of what you want," Merlin said.

Morgana bit her lip, "Yeah. I'll do it."

"Okay," Merlin gave her a reassuring smile and they continued to eat their breakfast.

* * *

Uther Pendragon had never felt so miserable in his life. His hair looked like he hadn't brushed it and he had bags under his eyes.

He looked at his child(ren) in remorse. They sat in the private ward of a hospital, waiting to have their blood drawn. The press were waiting at the front entrance, but they'd avoided them by using a rear entrance, escorted by guards.

Morgana was resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder, his arm wrapped around her in comfort. Arthur paced, eyeing the nurses suspiciously. He was afraid of needles, much like Uther, though neither would admit it.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Uther asked.

"Yes," Morgana said firmly.

Uther sighed. Even if she wasn't his daughter, he'd still be known as an adulterous lecher. He had ways of proving his innocence regarding the company and deaths of the Lefays, all he needed was Aggravaine's admission. It was Morgana who was dealing with the worst of it, to be honest.

Every time he looked at her sitting there with Merlin, their hands clasped, his arm around her, he thought he was looking at Vivienne and Gorlois reborn. He remembered how they looked twenty years ago in a hospital waiting room, Vivienne very much pregnant, Gorlois's arms wrapped around her as they waited for Ygraine to give birth.

Uther wiped at his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Their blood was drawn swiftly, with Morgana cursing under her breath, grimacing. Arthur looked away from the vials of blood being drawn. The nurse told them the results would be ready in a few days, and everything would remain completely confidential and sealed. Hell, they were using pseudonyms, just in case.

* * *

Gwen sat on the couch with her arms crossed. She and Lancelot were watching a movie in her flat, waiting for their friends to return.

Lancelot removed his arm from around her upon the buzz of his mobile, assuming it was Arthur.

He frowned as he read the message, making Gwen look away from the movie.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Mithian," Lancelot looked confused.

Gwen's stomach tightened, "Oh." She didn't know she and Lancelot had exchanged numbers at the party a few days ago.

"She wants to know if we're up to hang out with her," his brow furrowed.

Gwen fought a scowl. First Elena at Arthur's party months ago, and now Mithian. Lancelot settled his arm around her once more and she curled her legs up onto the couch.

"You're not going to write back?" Gwen asked curiously.

"We're in the middle of something," Lancelot said, kissing her softly.

Gwen smiled, worries set to rest for the moment.

* * *

The movie was over by the time Morgana had returned, and Lancelot had left with Arthur and Merlin.

"How're you holding up?" Gwen asked.

"I'm fine, considering," Morgana said, taking the mug of tea Gwen had made.

Gwen nodded. At least the press had stopped stalking Arthur and Morgana.

"How was the date?" Morgana asked after taking a sip.

"Fine, well, until _Mithian_ interrupted," Gwen said as politely as she could.

Morgana raised a brow in question.

"She sent a message to Lancelot asking if he, we, wanted to hang out," Gwen said with a wrinkle of her nose.

"She's probably trying to get closer to Arthur through his flatmate," Morgana mused.

"Really?" Gwen asked hopefully.

Morgana nodded, "Most likely. Unless she fancies Lancelot. Her and Elena can form a club."

Gwen's stomach tightened, and she sent Morgana a sharp look upon the mention of Elena.

"What?" Gwen said tensely.

"Elena joined the school paper," Morgana said cluelessly.

"Oh," Gwen said.

"Yeah, she's one of the new photographers," Morgana snorted, "Poor Lancelot can't be more obvious that he's not interested."

Gwen tried to smile, and failed miserably.

"Gwen?" Morgana's eyes widened as Gwen's eyes started to tear.

"I don't know what's wrong with us, Morgana. We were fine, and then the Halloween party happened and I got so jealous," Gwen said miserably.

"Whoa, explain," Morgana wrapped her arm around Gwen.

"I mentioned the fact that he's too nice and girls will think he's flirting, and he said I had no reason to be concerned, but still," Gwen huffed.

"Gwen, Lancelot is head over heels for you," Morgana said comfortingly.

"You don't get it. You and Merlin are so perfect together, and I thought Lancelot and I were perfect too. He's so amazing, and I love him, but something's happening to us, changing us, and I don't like it," Gwen bit her lip, staring out at the blank telly.

Morgana rubbed Gwen's shoulder and sighed, "You need to talk to Lancelot about this. He probably doesn't realise that he's damn fine."

Gwen's lips quirked into a hint of a smile, and she nodded.

"So, ready for class tomorrow?" Gwen asked, making Morgana groan.

* * *

A few days later, Morgana found herself at Downing Street. Uther held the envelope with the sealed paternity test results.

"Open it," Morgana said, fidgeting in the seat in Uther's study.

"We don't have to look," Uther said softly, "we can forget this and just tell everyone you are Gorlois's daughter, and always will be."

The DNA result didn't really matter. Morgana was Vivienne in looks and Gorlois in character. That was all that was important.

"Please, Uther, just open it," Morgana closed her eyes. She didn't want to lie to anyone. She had enough of the lies.

She heard the rip of the envelope and silence. Uther let out a breath and Morgana clenched her eyes shut.

"You're not my daughter," Uther said, sounding a bit disappointed.

Morgana opened her eyes and jumped from her seat.

"Really?" tears welled in her eyes, threatening to fall.

Uther nodded, and Morgana took the paper from him, smiling. She threw her arms around her foster father's neck.

"Thank you," she mumbled appreciatively, to him, to God, to the universe. She was Gorlois's daughter. She was a Lefay.

Morgana left, smiling brighter than he'd seen her since the whole scandal broke. Uther sunk back into his seat, cradling his head in his hand.

He looked at the paternity results again, stomach twisting into a knot. How much longer did he have to keep on lying? If Morgana found out, she'd never forgive him. One betrayal was already too much. Two would end their rocky relationship forever.

He couldn't bear to lose his daughter. He would have lost her if he told the truth today, and he'd lose her if she found out later. He couldn't win. He could never win. He looked at the ceiling, "I'm so sorry. Gorlois, please forgive me. Forgive me." Gorlois had always forgive him before. Vomited on his shoes after a hard night out, forgiven. Been late to lunch, forgiven. Been late to his own wedding, forgiven. But now Gorlois was dead, and there was no one to forgive Uther anymore.

* * *

Merlin groaned under Morgana's weight. She had practically jumped on him in joy, and now they were sprawled out in the little courtyard, Morgana straddling him.

Her mind raced happily. She was a Lefay, Gorlois's daughter. She pressed soft kisses to Merlin's lips, smiling.

"I take it you're not a Pendragon," Merlin quipped between kisses.

Morgana nodded joyfully. She had said it didn't matter whose blood she had running through her veins, but it did, deep down. But now she could relax. Now she was free.

She and Arthur no longer had to worry about the press. The university had banned them from the campus grounds, and a court had ruled they be left alone. The morning's paper had reported that Aggravaine denied Uther's involvement in everything, and now tomorrow's paper would report that Morgana was a Lefay. She felt free.

Merlin chuckled and reached to pull Morgana's face closer to his. She hadn't looked so relaxed in ages. Even at the wedding, there was still something troubling her, though she wouldn't admit it.

"What do you want to do to celebrate?" Merlin asked her thoughtfully.

Morgana bit her lip and sighed, "Be with you."

"Sweet as it is, I'm always with you. Don't you want to do something special?" Merlin asked.

"As long as you're there, it's special," Morgana said, mentally cringing at how cheesy she sounded.

Merlin laughed and Morgana punched his chest, trying not to join in his laughter. It was a nice sound, Merlin's laughter.

"Seriously," Merlin said finally, "what do you want to do?"

_Marry you. Move to Ireland and work somewhere and have little dark-haired children and never have to worry about anything ever again, _she wanted to say. But those were mad thoughts. They were barely twenty. They still had to finish university. They had time.

"Anything," she said simply.

* * *

_Anger flared through her and she tried to push him away. He held on tightly to her wrist, and she tried to get away._

_They were in the familiar chambers, surrounded by opulent furniture, the room warm and stuffy._

_"Let go of me," she snarled, eyes threatening to flash gold and push him aside._

_"We need to talk," he said desperately._

_"You're a liar and a murderer and I hate you!" she shouted._

_He pulled her to him, blue eyes darkening, meeting her angry green ones._

_"Well too bad, because I love you," he said and kissed her._

_She punched him half-heartedly before raking her fingers across his back. He hissed as her fingers dug through his shirt and into his skin._

_She pulled away suddenly, striking him across the cheek._

_"What happened to you when you were gone?" he asked her, hurt._

_He looked at her, confused, lost. She took a deep, shaky breath. How could she have hurt him like that? What were they doing to each other?_

_"I don't know," she shook her head, backing away, "I don't know."_

_Merlin tried to go after her, only for her to put a hand up._

_"If you love me, then leave me alone," she said, mind thumping with pain._

_"No," Merlin said, eyes steely, "I won't leave you like this."_

Morgana woke up in a cold sweat, panicking. She looked to her side, afraid that he had somehow disappeared from bed. No, he was still there. It was just a dream, a terrible, confusing dream. That was not their past. They could never be so horrible to each other.

She looked at Merlin and brushed his hair away from his forehead.

"I love you," she whispered and kissed him.

He remained fast asleep, and she closed her eyes. She wouldn't let herself hurt him. Those dreams meant nothing. Nothing.

* * *

**So, lots of stuff happened in this chapter. Please let me know what you thought of it. Please review.  
**


	26. Dreams

**Once again, thank you for reading. More Gwen/Arthur is to come, so please be patient. It's a slow-burner.**

* * *

**Dreams**

Everything seemed to be back to normal. _Seemed_ was the operative word. Uther's name had been cleared of all wrongdoings and he had accepted the nomination for the Prime Ministry. Finals were mere weeks away and Christmas was just around the corner. Everything was fine, until it wasn't.

Gwen stormed into the flat, taking off her coat, enraged. She tossed the coat onto the rack near the door and she looked ready to burst into tears.

"What happened?" Morgana asked immediately, setting aside _Storm of Swords_.

"We broke up," Gwen said bluntly.

"What?" Morgana stood from the couch, confused.

"I don't even know how it happened," Gwen shook her head.

Morgana wrapped her arms around Gwen in a hug and had her sit on the couch.

"Try to explain," Morgana wrinkled her brow.

"We were talking about Christmas plans and how he's going to see his gran again, and I said I'd invite him over except for Elyan not taking to kindly to that, then he was upset, and said he loved me, then I brought up the fact he never told me Elena was working with him on the paper, he said it didn't matter, and we broke up," Gwen rambled, not taking a breath.

Morgana was at a loss for words, and Gwen looked at her, waiting.

"I'm sorry," Morgana said finally.

Gwen laughed, angrily, bitterly, "I don't even know how, Morgana. It just happened."

Tears welled up in Gwen's eyes, as if reality was just sinking in, "Oh God. We broke up."

Morgana pulled her into another hug and rubbed Gwen's back. It was time to wallow.

* * *

Gwen Smith did not seem to grasp the concept of wallowing. Instead of remaining on the couch, devouring a pint of ice cream, she smiled brightly and did all of her assignments in one go. She studied and made notes for finals. She rearranged her furniture. She organised her wardrobe. She cooked enough food to last them three days. She insisted she was fine.

Morgana wasn't so sure. At the moment, she and Merlin were in the pub, conversing quietly.

"Lancelot hasn't shaved in a week," Merlin confided, "I don't think he's taken a shower, either."

"Gwen's acting like she's completely fine," Morgana bit her lip.

"They're both obviously upset," Merlin said.

Morgana nodded, remembering how two days ago Gwen bumped into Lancelot in the hallway of the science building, and sputtered out a cheerful greeting and smile. Lancelot merely looked at her blankly and nodded, only greeting Morgana aloud.

"They're both bloody idiots," Morgana corrected.

Merlin shook his head, trying not to smile. Lancelot and Gwen needed to sort out their issues, or at least get some closure.

"Did Lancelot say what exactly happened? All I got was a rant from Gwen," Morgana said.

"Christmas, family, and Elena were mentioned. I think it's the Elena bit that did it," Merlin shrugged.

"But Lancelot's so obviously not interested," Morgana pursed her lips.

"Well, tell that to Elena," Merlin muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Morgana raised a brow.

"Elena is pretty insistent, so Lancelot's going out with her tomorrow night," Merlin said, cringing.

"Oh shit," Morgana smacked Merlin from across the table, "why didn't you say something?"

"I thought it'd be good for him. He needs to get back out there," Merlin scowled.

"It's been a week," Morgana glared, wondering if upon a breakup, Merlin would go out with another girl a week later.

"He's miserable," Merlin tried to defend his friend.

"They're both miserable. Gwen's just better at pretending," Morgana frowned.

Before the conversation continued, they were joined by Arthur and a surprisingly not-annoyed Mithian.

"Hey," they greeted.

"What do you want?" Arthur asked Mithian politely.

"Vodka," Mithian said simply, watching as he headed towards the bar.

"So, you and Arthur," Merlin looked confused.

Mithian shrugged, "He's not pestering me for a date anymore. He's not as bad as I thought."

Morgana snorted, "If he does something stupid, just let me know."

"Duly noted," Mithian said, her smile reaching her brown eyes.

Arthur returned with two drinks, and Mithian took hers with a small 'thanks'.

"So, what were you two talking about?" Arthur asked.

"How Lancelot and Gwen are idiots," Morgana said.

Arthur nodded knowingly, "It's weird to not see them together."

Merlin frowned at Arthur, fully aware that he had fancied Gwen, and probably still did. He wouldn't bring it up and break the peace, though.

"Which is why we need a plan of action to bring them back together," Morgana said seriously.

"Should you be interfering in their love lives?" Mithian asked, genuinely curious. She had texted Lancelot once asking if he and Gwen wanted to hang out with her. She got an apologetic sounding response about how they were busy at the moment, but would be happy to meet her at the pub with a few friends. This happened twice in the span of a month and a half. So much for trying to make new friends.

Morgana sent Mithian a sharp look, unaware that Mithian was trying to make friends and not, in fact, trying to get with Lancelot.

"Sorry," Mithian said, wondering if this was why they weren't very good at being friends. She was too new to their close-knit group. She was an outsider.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Merlin smiled at her reassuringly before sending a look of chastisement to his girlfriend.

"He's going to go out with Elena, though," Arthur said dumbly.

"You knew?" Morgana glared, slapping her (foster) brother.

"Uhm, yes," Arthur said slowly.

"I'm not going to interfere. If they want to get back together, great. If not, they at least need to talk to get some closure and move on," Merlin said with a tone of finality.

"But—" Morgana started, only for Merlin to shake his head at her.

* * *

The next evening, Saturday night, Morgana practically dragged Gwen to the pub, knowing that Lancelot and Elena would be there after their date to the cinema.

Gwen took a shot of vodka, coughing a little.

"I don't know why you want to torture me," Gwen said dryly, looking at the couple out of the corner of her eye.

To Lancelot's credit, he had shaved, but he looked incredibly uncomfortable. He kept glancing towards Gwen's table before looking away quickly.

"Morgana, can we please leave?" Gwen asked after trying to keep up the appearance of being completely carefree and untroubled by the fact that her ex was on a date a few feet away.

"Please, just go talk to him. Maybe you can work things out," Morgana said hopefully.

Gwen shook her head, "Things happen for a reason."

Morgana was about to respond when Lancelot walked over hesitantly.

"Hey. Gwen, can I talk to you?" he asked.

Gwen nodded slowly and followed him outside to in front of the pub.

* * *

"I don't know what I did to make you upset, but I am so sorry," Lancelot started, "you're the first girl I've ever felt this way about, the first girl I've ever loved, and I never wanted to hurt you."

Gwen wiped at her face and wrapped her arms around herself, bringing her dark blue coat tighter around her.

"You're so oblivious, Lancelot. Other girls like you, and you're so polite they get the wrong idea," Gwen shook her head, "I can see why they like you. You're the best boyfriend a girl could ask for."

"Do you mean Elena?" Lancelot asked, brow furrowing. He didn't care for Elena the way he cared for Gwen. He barely knew Elena, and had little interest in doing so.

"Elena. Mithian," Gwen started to list.

"Mithian's seeing Arthur, though," Lancelot protested, well aware that Arthur came home quite late at night recently.

Gwen offered a small smile, "I got jealous and exploded. I'm sorry my brother doesn't like you. And I'm sorry that I took off and avoided you."

"It's fine," Lancelot nodded and looked at his shoes.

A light snow began to fall around them and Gwen looked at the sky.

"Lancelot," she said softly.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Maybe we should take a break. Clear our heads," Gwen suggested, not wanting to officially break up. She couldn't deal with a real break up.

"Yeah," Lancelot tried to smile, "sounds good."

"I love you," Gwen said, trying to smile.

She stepped closer to Lancelot and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His arms wrapped around her, as they always had, and he pulled her close. It was almost their one-year anniversary, and here they were, taking a break.

"I don't want things to be weird," Lancelot said quietly.

"They won't be," Gwen said, "we'll always be friends."

She kissed him again, but Lancelot pulled away.

"If we want to be friends, proper friends, then we shouldn't kiss each other anymore. Unless it's a platonic kiss and I can go snog Merlin," Lancelot said, smiling at the end.

Gwen laughed at the image she conjured in her mind and nodded, "Deal."

Lancelot kissed her quickly on the forehead and led her inside. Morgana stared at them with a hopeful smile, pleased to see them relaxed and smiling. Her smile faded when Lancelot returned to his date with Elena as if nothing happened and Gwen came back to finish her drinks.

"What the hell?" Morgana asked.

"We're friends for now. We're taking a break," Gwen said simply.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Morgana said, "you either want to be with each other or you don't."

Gwen looked up from her drink and frowned, "Just because you and Merlin can't function properly without each other doesn't mean that applies to the rest of us."

Morgana gaped at Gwen, feeling as though she had been slapped. Gwen's expression softened immediately.

"Oh, Morgana, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," she said quickly.

"_Function properly_," Morgana said, twisting her lips into a scowl.

"It's just…you two have this connection. You're intense and compulsive and weirdly linked. He went to you at Christmas without you asking, and you went to him on a whim," Gwen tried to explain, "I wish Lancelot and I were like that."

Morgana nodded, processing Gwen's words. She and Merlin _did_ spend most of their free time together.

"I want to marry him one day," Morgana let out a shy smile.

Gwen smiled a strained sort of smile, "You _know_, Morgana. I love Lance, but I don't know if I want to marry him. He's my first boyfriend. Maybe my last. I don't know. I just don't know."

Morgana took Gwen's hand from across the table, "I'm sorry I tried to interfere in your love life. It's not my place."

"It's okay. You were being a good friend," Gwen said, setting aside their brief argument.

"Let's drink, then," Morgana raised her glass.

"To friends," Gwen said.

"To finals," Morgana added, much to Gwen's feigned annoyance.

They clinked their shot glasses and drank.

* * *

Arthur took a sip of his tea at a table in the library. Gwen sat across from him, writing notes in her neat handwriting.

Merlin and Morgana had been with them, but disappeared at least ten minutes ago in search of a book.

"They're snogging in the stacks, aren't they?" Arthur asked with a grimace.

"Yep," Gwen said, not looking up from her studies.

"Great," Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I thought you'd be used to them by now," Gwen finally looked at him.

Arthur made a face and Gwen shook her head, letting her curls block her face.

"Keep studying," she said.

"As you say," Arthur picked up his pen.

They remained silent for a few minutes until Gwen cleared her throat.

"How's Lancelot? I haven't seen him around much," Gwen said, sounding a bit shy.

"He's been studying. Been a bit slow at practise," Arthur shrugged his shoulders.

Gwen bit her lip, "Anymore dates with Elena?"

Arthur set his pen down and looked Gwen in the eye.

"Ask him yourself. I refuse to be the messenger. I thought you decided to be friends," Arthur said tensely.

Gwen bit her lip, brown eyes widening. Arthur immediately regretted sounding so harsh.

"Do you know what it's like to be around a person who really care about, really love, and not be able to hold him anymore, or maybe you never will?" Gwen asked.

Arthur nodded slightly, "I have an idea. It's the worst feeling in the world."

"Who broke your heart, Arthur Pendragon?" Gwen asked, curious. She was surprised Arthur knew the feeling. Was he talking about Mithian? They were still seeing each other regularly, though not officially a couple, as far as she knew. Arthur seemed more invested in the would-be relationship than Mithian, though.

Arthur only smiled sadly and shook his head.

"Whoever she is, she's probably regretting it. You're a good guy, Arthur," she reached across the table to pat his hand reassuringly. It was a thing she did, patting people's hands. She was about to pull away when Arthur grasped her hand in his and squeezed it.

"Talk to Lancelot again. The both of you deserve to be happy," Arthur said.

Gwen nodded, pulling away upon the re-emergence of a rumpled looking Merlin and Morgana. That's how they were, now. It wasn't just Morgana or Merlin. It was 'Merlin-and-Morgana'.

Sometimes Gwen wondered just how much longer they could go on like that before one day announcing that they'd gotten married spur of the moment.

* * *

Morgana exited her last final with a triumphant smile. She knew she had done well. She had studied her arse off, barely leaving her room. Merlin had helped her with chemistry, their late-night study sessions lasting well into the morning. It was a nice feeling to be done with exams.

She was ready for Christmas and snow and hot coco and lounging around, doing absolutely nothing. There was no family mystery to uncover this year. She could truly relax.

Snow fell outside as she rushed out. She made her way to the small, almost always abandoned courtyard. She knew Merlin would be there, and she wasn't disappointed to see him sitting on a bench, breath escaping his lips like cigarette smoke. It'd been near a year since they quit. A year of being together. A year since she found out her parents were murdered.

"I see you've finished as well," Merlin said in greeting. Morgana nodded happily and plopped down next to him on the bench.

"Drinks tonight?" she asked.

"Definitely," Merlin grinned, taking her gloved hand in his.

They had their winter plans sorted already. They would spend Christmas in London with their friends, and go to Ireland for New Years to see Merlin's parents, with a detour to the Lefay estate since Morgana wanted to make sure the staff were still fine.

Morgana glanced at Merlin mischievously, and his eyes widened.

"No!" he shouted as she jumped up and began to gather snow from the ground. She packed it into a ball and tossed it at him.

"Morgana!" Merlin frowned, running after her.

"Catch me if you can," Morgana stuck her tongue out, dashing away.

She ran around the courtyard, Merlin chasing after her. She looked back to tease him about being a slow old man, but suddenly it wasn't snowing anymore. She was in a forest and everything was green and she was still running. She was wearing a dress and Merlin chased after her, wearing worn, rough spun clothes.

"Morgana," he called.

She blinked in confusion, stopping. When she opened her eyes she was once more in the courtyard, snow falling around her. She was wearing her jeans and a warm jumper, boots, and her favourite red coat. Merlin was clad in his trusty pea coat. They were still them.

"Morgana," Merlin moved closer to her and took her arm.

She moved her lips wordlessly, unable to speak.

"Morgana," he sounded more worried this time.

Her eyes felt heavy and she closed them slowly.

* * *

_He was chasing her through the forest again, and she was cursing her stupid long dress, for it was getting caught between her feet. She stumbled on a branch but kept going._

_She looked back, dark curls impairing her vision. He was getting closer, closer. His hand reached for hers, drawing her to him._

"_No, let go," she shouted, pushing at him._

"_Please, just listen," Merlin brought her even closer, their bodies flush against one another's._

"_Let go. LET GO," she screamed. Her eyes flashed yellow and he reeled back as if he'd just been burned._

"_Please, Morgana," he whispered, blue eyes pleading._

"_I _hate_ you," she scowled, backing away. She pulled a dagger from the sash around her waist. Merlin's eyes widened, flashing with fear._

_He walked closer to her despite the fear._

"_Get back," she commanded, thrusting the dagger forward._

_"You wouldn't. You have a kind heart, I know you do," Merlin was still trying to talk sense into her._

"_Do I?" she snarled, pushing the dagger forward so that the steel point was touching Merlin's chest._

"_I love you," Merlin said._

_"You have a funny way of showing it," Morgana spat, plunging the dagger into his chest._

"NO!"

* * *

She woke to Merlin's face watching her, concerned. She blinked and realised she was in her room, in her and Gwen's flat. She sat up, head pounding.

"Thank God you're awake," Merlin said softly, relieved.

"What happened?" Morgana asked.

"You passed out. Probably from exhaustion," Merlin sighed. She'd been running herself ragged with studying.

Morgana nodded ever so slightly. Her lips quirked into a small smile, "You carried me all the way here." It wasn't a question.

Merlin's cheeks turned a light shade of pink. She noticed he'd gotten her out of her coat and shoes, and had covered her with a soft, warm blanket.

"Shut up," Merlin mumbled.

Morgana snorted and scooted over to make room for Merlin. He'd been sitting at the desk next to her bed. He moved to sit next to her.

"How long was I out?" Morgana asked.

"A couple of hours."

Merlin's voice was hoarse and he looked so damn tired.

"I must be hungry or something," Morgana tried to make light of her little fainting spell. Merlin didn't need to know about the strange dream that had been creeping up on her.

"I'll go make some soup," Merlin said, worried Morgana may be coming down with a cold.

Morgana raised her eyebrows and regarded Merlin strangely.

"What?" Merlin asked upon her look.

"I just really love you," Morgana said gently.

"Good," he kissed her on the mouth quickly, then stood from the spot on the bed, "the feeling's mutual."

* * *

Merlin watched the pot of soup he had thrown together as the water simmered. Thankfully, Gwen liked to keep a stocked fridge. Left on her own, Morgana would live off of instant noodles and biscuits.

Morgana had decided to take a shower while he cooked. He suspected it was so she could gather her thoughts. He needed to think, too.

He had a feeling her nightmares were back, so the first thing on his list was to get more medicine from Gaius. That seemed to help her, before. He wanted to know why her nightmares were back, though.

His mind drifted to how scared and confused she looked earlier. She had been fine moments before. He wondered if she saw Emrys again. And if so, why was she so scared of him?

Merlin knew the story well. The betrayal, the poison. Could Morgana really think he'd hurt her like that? The thought made him frown. He needed to talk to Gaius. Or maybe Balinor. He had a feeling his father had left out important details when he told Merlin about his 'dabbling' in magic.

Merlin sighed and turned off the stove, stirred the soup a few times, picked up the potholders as not to burn his hands, and carried the soup to the kitchen table. He set out two bowls and spoons. He popped some bread in the toaster, too.

By the time Morgana left the bathroom wearing flannel pyjama bottoms and an over-sized jumper, dinner was ready.

She slid up to him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek from behind.

"Looks good," she said as if she hadn't just passed out in the snow.

"Thanks," Merlin said, looking at the soup.

"Not what I meant," she stuck her tongue out.

Merlin turned to face her and wrapped her in a hug. Morgana pressed herself closer, not letting herself cry. She wouldn't admit how terrified of her dreams she was. They were just dreams, figments of her crazy imagination. Everything was fine.

* * *

It was almost like old times. Lancelot, Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, and Arthur sat around their favourite table at the café. Gwen was done with her shift, and Mithian was to join them shortly.

Lancelot and Gwen conversed politely, starting to get used to being simply friends once more. They didn't notice that everyone else noticed the little looks they'd give one another when they thought the other wasn't looking. It would have been cute if it hadn't been so sad.

"Do I have to go to brunch?" Morgana pouted as Arthur told her that Uther was expecting them.

"Ten years of the same brunch, Morgana. I didn't think I'd have to tell you," Arthur said dryly.

Merlin snorted into his cup of tea, and Morgana slapped him in the chest with the back of her hand.

"You're coming with me," she said.

Merlin looked at her, "No. Please, one meal with Uther Pendragon is enough."

"It's Christmas," Morgana said. Well, in a week it would be.

Merlin groaned and Arthur smirked, knowing that Morgana had gotten her way.

Gwen chuckled and even Lancelot cracked a smile.

"At least we've got the party to look forward to," Gwen said.

Ah yes, the party. It would prove to be just as last year's, especially since Uther felt like he needed to prove that nothing had changed. He'd still arrange a party for his son and ward's friends, because he loved them and it was Christmas and the bad press had somehow turned out to work in his favour since now he was painted as some sort of victim of the opposing party. It was for the best, probably.

"Yippee," Morgana rolled her eyes.

"You and Merlin are going to be snogging under the mistletoe the entire time," Gwen pointed out.

Morgana tilted her head before nodding.

"That's if we beat Percy and Gwaine to it," Merlin said thoughtfully.

Arthur groaned and Gwen tried not to laugh.

"Stop," the blond man closed his eyes, "before I vomit."

Lancelot fought a smile and Gwen caught his eye from across the table. His expression dropped and he looked at her sadly with large brown eyes. Arthur opened his eyes and glanced between the former couple, feeling like he was about to vomit for real. He glanced at his mobile, wondering what was keeping Mithian so long.

If he had to spend any more time having to watch Gwen and Lancelot make sad googly eyes at each other, he'd surely go mad. Morgana's encouraging looks towards the former couple weren't helping things, either. At least Merlin was remaining neutral about the situation. Or, more likely, he was still thinking about how awkward brunch would be.

"Who's up for more tea?" Merlin said suddenly, ruining Gwen and Lancelot's sorry little staring contest. _Bless him_, Arthur thought.

"Me," Arthur stood, "I'll get some."

Anything to get away from that table right now. Gwen was off limits. Sure, she was single now, but it was only a matter of time before she went back to Lancelot, her one true love. Arthur wasn't good enough, anyway.

* * *

**So moody Arthur returns. There will be lots of mistletoe and kisses involved in the next chapter, much to Arthur's joy, then disappointment. Please review.**


	27. Christmastime

**Hello all. Thank you for reading, as always. It's been brought to my attention that it was unclear about the whole nuclear energy/weapons thing. I meant it to be that the company was dealing with nuclear energy as alternatives, but Aggravaine got involved with actual weapons and tried to use the energy as a front. **

**I'm sorry that this was vague; I could go back and clear things up within the chapters themselves if you'd all like that. On we go, then.  
**

* * *

**Christmastime  
**

The banquet hall wasn't as crowded as it was last year. There were noticeable gaps at the tables and the dance floor wasn't overflowing. Maybe some people felt uncomfortable attending due to Uther's cheating past. Perhaps it was better this way, to be amongst friends and classmates instead of around near strangers.

Dangling fairy lights hung above them and on the walls, an ornately decorated Christmas tree was in the corner of the grand room, and the alcohol was freely flowing at the bar.

Morgana wore a form-fitting deep blue and purple dress that reached her knees, paired with black stockings and low heels. Her hair was straight and wrapped into a bun atop her head. Gwen wore a red velvet dress that flared out at the knee, black tights, and heels. She kept her curls out of her face with a headband.

The boys wore button-down shirts and suit trousers. Merlin wore a dark blue shirt, and Morgana had laughed at their once again unintentional matching. Arthur's shirt was a maroon colour, and Lancelot's was white.

Arthur found himself brooding at the bar, watching as Mithian danced with Leon while Vivian was talking to Elena. He and Mithian were far from being a couple, but it still stung to be so blatantly rejected. Her green skirt and crème silk blouse matched with Leon's green tie, funnily enough.

Gwen sidled up into the seat next to him, looking stern.

"Arthur Pendragon, you stop your moping and go have fun," she was starting to tire of trying to lift his spirits at parties.

He glanced at her and gave a half-smile, "This is fun."

"Your liver may not agree," Gwen scowled.

"Where's Lancelot?" Arthur asked, scanning the crowd.

Gwen looked towards the dance floor. He was leaning against the wall opposite the floor, right next to Percy and Gwaine. Gwaine was seated in Percy's lap, stealing kisses. Lancelot and Percy had been talking about their holiday plans when Gwaine had sauntered over and planted himself in his boyfriend's lap, glass of liquor in hand.

"Found him," Gwen sighed.

"You guys aren't getting back together?" Arthur asked bluntly.

Gwen looked at him, "I don't know. Someone needs to make the first move."

Arthur rolled his eyes and grabbed Gwen's hand, dragging her over to where Lancelot stood. If neither were willing to make a move, he would on their behalf. Halfway there, a tipsy Elena clapped.

"Misteltoe!" she screeched at the pair.

Gwen and Arthur looked up and found themselves to indeed be under some mistletoe. Just great.

"We don't have to," Arthur said quickly, balking. He couldn't kiss Gwen, because he'd do something stupid like kiss her for too long and then she'd know he still fancied her.

"It's fine," Gwen said, standing on her toes. She reached up and pecked him lightly on the lips.

Arthur felt like he couldn't breathe. The kiss was soft and fleeting. Before Arthur had even registered what had happened, Gwen had pulled away. Her cheeks were tinged pink and she looked at the ground.

"Um, right," Arthur managed to choke out.

They continued walking to their destination, ignoring Elena's joyous laughter and the blush rising to their cheeks.

Lancelot either hadn't noticed the kiss or pretended that he hadn't noticed. He leaned away from the wall, greeting them.

"Hey," he said, nodding. Gwen nodded and looked at Lancelot shyly.

"Look, you two obviously need to talk. Happy Anniversary, guys," Arthur said bluntly before walking away.

Gwaine and Percy stopped snogging long enough to tell them to take their issues somewhere where they wouldn't bring down the mood of the party.

* * *

"They're going to notice we're missing," Merlin let out a breath.

"No they won't," Morgana snorted, knowing their friends were likely blindingly drunk at the moment.

Morgana's mouth captured Merlin's once more and he pulled her closer to him. The coat room wasn't an ideal place for a snog, but it'd do.

Morgana's back was to the wall and she wrapped her arms around Merlin's neck. His hand slid down her waist.

"We should go back," Merlin mumbled. Morgana's only response was to deepen the kiss.

Merlin took that as a final answer and lowered his hands to the hem of her dress.

Morgana's mouth quirked into a smile against his mouth and his hand slid up stocking clad leg.

* * *

Gwen and Lancelot stood in the banquet hall's corridor, away from the noise.

"So, what do we do?" Gwen asked.

"I love you Gwen, but if you don't want to get back together, I understand. You deserve more," Lancelot said gently, "you deserve someone like Arthur."

Gwen's eyes flashed in annoyance, "You idiot. There was mistletoe, we kissed. Nothing more."

"But he likes you. Who wouldn't?" Lancelot tried to smile. If Arthur had feelings for Gwen, he wouldn't stand in the way, especially if the feelings were mutual. As long as Gwen was happy, he'd be happy.

"I'm in love with _you_," Gwen said, tears springing to her eyes, "I miss you."

Lancelot stepped closer to Gwen and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"I miss you, too," Lancleot said.

Gwen wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

"Happy Anniversary," Lancelot whispered.

Gwen laughed into his chest and looked up, brown eyes meeting his. She kissed him on the lips. He remained still for a moment, and Gwen started to panic. He began to kiss back, and she relaxed in his hold. It was nice, so, so, nice to be in his arms again.

* * *

Arthur was alone at the bar once more. He wondered where Gwen and Lancelot had gotten to. So, with a beer in hand, he wandered to the corridor near the entrance of the banquet hall.

He hadn't been expecting to see Gwen and Lancelot kissing as if they'd never kissed before. He immediately turned away, heading back towards the main room.

He didn't know what he was expecting. He practically threw them back together again. He was a fool to think that the kiss had meant something. Gwen had blushed because she was embarrassed by the on-lookers, not because of any feelings she had towards him.

He settled himself back at the bar and took a long swig of the beer he was holding. Mithian walked over, leaving Leon to a smiling Vivian. She placed a hand on his shoulder sympathetically and Arthur glanced at her.

"I don't want your pity," he grumbled.

"You're just going to sit there and let them get back together," Mithian said softly.

"What happened to staying out of people's personal lives?" Arthur asked harshly.

"You obviously have feelings for her," Mithian said, "you should've said something."

"I did. I asked her out over a year ago," Arthur huffed. Gwen had refused his offer. Then again, she still thought he was a prat back then. She had the perfect Lancelot, her knight in shining armour. Why would she want him? He was no one special. He was the Prime Minister's son, yes, but he wasn't super smart like Morgana or Merlin, or unnervingly gallant like Lancelot. He was just average. Mediocre. Undeserving.

Mithian smiled in pity and shook her head, "You're not a bad guy, Arthur."

"I just can't compete with him," Arthur said, slightly bitter. Lancelot was a modern-day white knight. Chivalrous, kind, loyal, soft-spoken, and so handsome that if Arthur was in that way inclined, he too would like to date Lancelot.

"Come on," Mithian pulled him away from the bar, "I think I owe you a dance since I nearly killed you on Halloween."

"Remember that, do you?" Arthur smirked, remembering how she had pressed a stake to his chest.

"Shut up, Pendragon," Mithian snorted, letting him place his hands on her waist as 'Last Christmas' began to play from the speakers.

It felt nice to dance with no romantic feelings involved. It was refreshing. He watched as Percy and Gwaine swayed to the music, as Vivian tried to drag a reluctant Leon to the dance floor, and it was then he noticed his sister and his flatmate were missing. Of course they were.

* * *

Morgana smoothed her hair, now no longer in a bun. Merlin buttoned his shirt while Morgana tried to straighten her dress, which had been rumpled and twisted and bunched up moments before. She glanced at Merlin and smiled wickedly.

"They're going to know," Merlin laughed upon seeing Morgana's state of disarray.

"Like they'd expect anything less from us," Morgana quipped.

Merlin tried to straighten out the wrinkles in his shirt, to no avail.

"Presentable?" Merlin asked.

"No," Morgana burst out laughing. They looked a right mess.

They ventured out of the coatroom, into the corridor.

"Finally," Morgana cheered quietly.

In front of them, Lancelot and Gwen were snogging the living daylights out of each other. Merlin took Morgana's hand, leading her into the hall as quietly as possible, as not to disturb the newly-reunited couple.

They re-entered the room full of partiers, trying to act like they had never left. It worked for all of a minute.

Gwaine walked past them with two drinks, took one look at them, and smirked knowingly.

"Having a good time, I see," the Irishman roared with laughter.

"Shut up," Morgana glared, trying not to smile.

Gwaine walked away, still laughing, in search of his boyfriend.

* * *

The night dwindled down, and by three in the morning on Christmas Day, everyone had decided to go home.

Arthur had gone to Downing Street, alone, after having a taxi drop Mithian off at the dormitories. Merlin and Morgana went back to Merlin's flat, for they were too lazy to go into the city centre to their flat. Lancelot and Gwen headed towards the girls' dormitories, meaning that Merlin had his, Arthur, and Lancelot's flat to themselves. It worked out for the best that way.

They agreed beforehand to meet for a late lunch after the Pendragon's brunch.

* * *

Morgana groaned as light filled the room. She curled herself into a ball on Merlin's bed, not wanting to get up. Her dreamless sleep was comforting, and she wasn't quite willing to move.

"Come on, you've got to go get a change of clothes," Merlin said, kissing her on the cheek in an attempt to make her get up.

She grunted and huddled deeper under the blankets.

"Morgana," Merlin groaned at his girlfriend's childishness.

"I don't want to go," she grumbled.

"You think I want to?" Merlin snorted.

He was already dressed in a green jumper and jeans. Morgana poked her head over the blankets and pouted upon seeing him fully dressed.

"I'm not wearing my dress back to the flat," Morgana sat up and wrapped the blanket around her frame.

"I've got that sorted," Merlin gestured to the sweatpants and shirt on the bed. They'd be too big on her, but at least she'd be warm once she donned her coat to brave the snow and sleet.

* * *

They tried to enter the flat she shared with Gwen as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb Gwen and Lancelot.

To Morgana's surprise, she saw Gwen and Lancelot wide awake; they were sitting at the table, enjoying cups of coffee.

"Hey," the pair greeted.

"So, I guess you've sorted everything out," Morgana said cheerily.

"Yep," Gwen smiled and Morgana nodded in approval before heading towards her room to get a change of clothes. She'd pop in for a quick shower since she was sure she smelled like sweat and alcohol.

Merlin looked at the couple, "Sorted out doesn't mean back together, though."

Merlin spoke quietly, so Morgana wouldn't hear as she glided from her room to the bathroom. Lancelot sighed once the door closed behind Morgana.

"We're officially broken up. Still friends, but broken up," Lancelot said, while Gwen nodded in confirmation.

"I don't get it. You two were obviously together last night," Merlin tried not to frown.

"It was a one-off thing, a goodbye," Gwen said softly, and Lancelot smiled at her. It wasn't a sad smile like the ones before. It seemed they had finally come to terms with the end of their relationship. They had spent the better part of the morning talking and hashing out their feelings, which had been cathartic for them both.

"We had a good run," Lancelot shrugged.

"Yeah," Gwen smiled at her friend. Huh. Her friend. It felt right, in a way. She'd always love Lancelot, but they were probably better off as friends. Like Merlin and Freya. The two were proof that a broken up couple could still love each other and be friends without being romantic. They had hope, they were content.

Yes, she'd been so relieved to kiss him again, and to hold him again, but it didn't feel like it had before. This was the right thing to do.

"Morgana's going to be upset. She's been planning your wedding," Merlin quipped.

Lancelot smiled and Gwen snorted, "Tell her to plan her own."

"Plan my own what?" Morgana emerged from the bathroom clad in jeans and a dark blue turtleneck. Her damp hair was in a long side-braid, as she didn't feel like drying it. They were running late as it were.

"Nothing," the three chorused.

Morgana raised a brow and brushed it off. She put her coat on again and picked her bag up.

"Off to the dragon's lair, then," Morgana looked to Merlin, who sighed. Uther wasn't terrible, yet Morgana made it sound like they were heading towards their deaths instead of brunch.

"We'll exchange presents later?" Gwen asked. She received a couple of 'yeps' in return.

They bade farewell to their friends and walked to the tube station a few blocks from campus, all the while complaining of the cold.

* * *

Arthur, Uther, Morgana, and Merlin sat at the dining room table as they were being served Christmas brunch.

Uther sat at the head of the table, as usual. Arthur was to his right, Morgana to his left. Merlin sat next to Morgana and took a sip of tea.

"I understand you'll be visiting your parents for New Years," Uther said.

"Yes, sir, erm, Uther," Merlin stammered.

"I haven't met them, have I?" Uther asked.

"You have, actually. My dad worked for you when you were still CEO," Merlin said.

Arthur looked at Merlin in surprise and Morgana nodded, confirming the story. Arthur bit back a frown, wondering why Merlin didn't tell him these things. They were friends, weren't they?

Uther peered at Merlin, not knowing who he resembled. He just reminded him so much of Gorlois he couldn't see past that. The eyes were all wrong, though. The nose and mouth weren't similar at all, either. The brightness of the eyes, the smile, and dark hair was spot on, though.

"His name's Balinor," Merlin supplied.

Uther's eyes glinted with recognition, and he smiled warmly, "You have your mother's eyes, then. Hunith, correct?"

"Yes," Merlin nodded.

"Your father was an incredibly hard worker, and a good man," Uther took a bite of his food.

He could see the resemblance a bit in the shape of the face, if he remembered correctly. Merlin took after Hunith in looks for the most part, save for the dark hair.

Merlin nodded, unsure of what to say. Uther returned to his meal, shaking his head. Who would have thought his old assistant's son would date his daughter?

No, he couldn't let himself think like that. He'd let something slip. Gorlois's daughter. Morgana was Gorlois's daughter, just as Vivienne was Gorlois's wife. Nothing would change that.

"How was the party, then?" Uther asked.

"Fantastic," Arthur deadpanned.

"It was great," Merlin said politely.

"Brilliant," Morgana said, sending a sly look to Merlin.

"No flirting at the table," Arthur grumbled.

"What's got you so sour?" Morgana frowned, "the party was great."

"Oh, it was lovely. Everyone back together again," Arthur rolled his eyes.

Uther looked at his children, then to Merlin.

"Do I want to know?" he asked the dark haired man.

"Probably not," Merlin shrugged.

"Just because Mithian doesn't fancy you doesn't mean you should lash out at happy couples," Morgana scowled.

Arthur made a face, and was about to say something when Merlin interrupted.

"I don't know what you're upset about," he said as if it didn't bother him that his friend was clearly not in a good mood.

"Nothing," Arthur muttered. It wasn't just the reunification of certain couples. It was also the fact that Merlin never felt like sharing information about himself with Arthur.

Merlin didn't believe him, but he wouldn't pry. It was Christmas, after all.

Uther watched as Merlin's eyes narrowed and he nodded. He was as good a friend as he could hope for his son, of this Uther was now absolutely certain. Merlin obviously cared for Arthur, and his affection for Morgana was as clear as day. He was happy for his children. Once upon a time, he had a best friend he loved dearly, too. Once upon a time, Uther Pendragon had been happy. Now he had his children's happiness to look forward to.

* * *

The day after Christmas always felt more relaxed than Christmas day itself. Especially once presents were exchanged and everyone was pleased with their gifts.

Morgana was not pleased, however, with the knowledge that Gwen and Lancelot had decided to break up for good. She thought that they were being idiots.

Packing her suitcase had turned into more of a 'throw clothes in angrily' affair. Gwen had tried to act nonchalant about Morgana's reaction to the whole thing, but she was concerned. Her love life was none of Morgana's business.

"But why, though?" Morgana asked, so obviously confused, "you love each other."

"And I'll always love him, but something didn't click, as much as I wanted it to," Gwen tried to explain.

Morgana bit her lip, and blinked, "I'm being over dramatic, I know. It's just, you and Lancelot were so perfect. If you can't last, what does it say about the rest of us?"

Gwen smiled and even Morgana let out a laugh at her own ridiculousness. She was always cynical, so seeing the dissolution of such a well-matched pair made her worry.

"You and Merlin are so different, though," Gwen said reasonably.

"I'm sorry, Gwen. As long as you're happy, I'm happy," Morgana said, zipping up her suitcase.

"Likewise," Gwen smiled and shook her head, "he's such a good kisser, though."

Morgana smirked to herself. Lancelot and Gwen may no longer be a couple, but she was fairly sure that it was only a matter of time before the two reconciled.

"So, what are you plans for Ireland?" Gwen asked.

"We'll be in Ashford first, at my parents' estate for a few days. Just to make sure everything's in order and pop in on Mrs Gibbons, then we'll take the train to Belfast. Will's going to pick us up, I think," Morgana recounted the plan.

"Sounds fun. New Years won't be the same without you," Gwen said with a sigh. Last New Year's Eve had been so wonderful.

"Aw," Morgana smiled and wrapped her friend in a hug, "you could always come with us."

"And be a third wheel? No thanks," Gwen laughed.

* * *

Arthur had pulled Merlin aside at the train station, while Gwen and Lancelot were bidding farewell to Morgana.

"I kissed Gwen," Arthur mumbled softly.

"What?" Merlin's eyes bugged out.

"There was mistletoe, it meant nothing. But now it's weird because they're back together," Arthur started to ramble.

Merlin wondered why Arthur had waited two days to tell him this, and narrowed his eyes, "Lance and Gwen broke up."

"What?" Arthur said in surprise, "but they went home together."

Merlin shrugged, "Not my business. All I know is that they told us they broke up. For good."

"Oh," Arthur tried to process this information, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Arthur, stop," Merlin frowned, "she's just out of a relationship. Don't ask her out, not yet."

"Right. You're right. Thanks," Arthur nodded, "have a nice trip, okay? Call once in a while."

"No problem," Merlin smiled and Arthur patted him on the back.

The flatmates returned to their friends, and Morgana looked at her foster brother suspiciously.

"Stop trying to scare him off," she said.

"I'm not," Arthur said innocently.

Morgana shook her head and gave Arthur a quick hug before hugging Gwen and Lancelot once more. Merlin hugged Gwen and Lancelot and turned back to Arthur, who shook his hand. Arthur didn't like hugs too much.

Merlin and Morgana boarded the train, ready to go visit their childhood homes.

* * *

Morgana rested her head on Merlin's shoulder as he read _Storm of Swords_. She'd finished a while ago, and now Merlin was scowling at the book. He put it in his bag, still scowling.

"You could've warned me," Merlin said, eyes wide due to the scene he'd just read.

"Spoilers," Morgana said nonchalantly.

Merlin rolled his eyes, "Okay, River."

"I'm so not River. If anyone, I'm Sarah Jane," Morgana said. She wanted to be a reporter, like Sarah Jane, and like her father.

Merlin chuckled.

"Does that make me K-9?"

"No, you're Jethro," Morgana said, acknowledging the resemblance between the two.

"Can't I be the Doctor?" Merlin asked with a frown.

"Nope," Morgana shook her head.

"I think we should stick to Gambit and Rouge," Merlin mumbled.

Morgana smiled at him, "Agreed."

They remained quiet for a moment before Morgana bit her lip.

"How's Freya?"

She'd spoken to the girl a few times since returning for the fall term, but Freya was more likely to tell Merlin how she felt than her.

"She says she's fine. Will thinks she's doing better. She's still flatmates with Arianne, they get on great," Merlin shrugged, wondering what his friends were leaving out.

"Good," Morgana said.

She was looking forward to see Merlin's friends (who were now her own friends). Merlin himself was like a little kid who couldn't stop smiling. It was obvious he missed his parents and friends.

Sometimes she wondered what would happen if upon graduation their career paths would taken them in different directions. She tried not to dwell on it. They'd overcome distance if necessary (or so she tried to convince herself).

* * *

**So, Gwen and Lancelot are officially over, on their anniversary. There's some pretty obvious foreshadowing in this chapter about what's to come. I won't be able to update again until the weekend, so I thought I'd just post this since it's going to be a longer wait. Thank you for reading and please review.  
**


	28. Visions

**I am so incredibly sorry for the wait. Midterms just ended, and I'm currently sick (probably due to burn out and stress, but it'll pass), so now I have a chance to write/update. Thank you for reading/reviewing/following/favoriting, etc.**

**There are very slight spoilers for the beginning of series 5 within the chapter, but only mentioned in passing.  
**

* * *

**Visions  
**

Morgana looked around the old manor, grinning like it was Christmas all over again. There was the fireplace her dad used to sit by in the evenings. There was nearly ancient couch, decorated with small blue flowers. Then there were the old mahogany coffee table and the lace doily that covered it. She was home. It was different, this year. She wasn't searching for the truth or trying to find justice for her parents. She could just be.

Mrs Gibbons had greeted them at the gate, hugging them both. She began fussing straightaway, telling Morgana she looked too thin. Merlin had laughed, only for the aging woman to start on him, too. She led them to the sitting room and took their coats before disappearing into the kitchen to bring food for their scrawny frames.

"Look at the pair of you, so thin. It's the food in London, I bet. And all the coursework," Mrs Gibbons said as she brought them sandwiches and tea in the sitting room.

The teapot was white porcelain, with dark blue flowers etched on it. The teacups matched, as did the platter that the sandwiches sat on.

"The food's excellent, especially when Merlin's cooking," Morgana smiled lightly.

Merlin glanced at her, "I knew you were using me for the food."

"You've found me out," Morgana snorted.

Merlin shook his head, feigning hurt. Mrs Gibbons smiled at them. Her smile faltered when they suddenly transformed into Vivienne and Gorlois right before her eyes. She blinked, and they were themselves once more. No. Vivienne and Gorlois were nothing like this, never so affectionate. They used to be, early on, but then...Well, she wasn't exactly sure what had driven them apart. She now had a suspicion it had to do with Uther Pendragon and the alleged affair, but she didn't want to think about that.

It was a sad thought. A decade had gone by without the manor having a master or mistress. She had been expecting Morgause and Cendred to claim it as their own after their wedding, but they seemed intent on continuing in their travels. Mrs Gibbons could only hope that one day Morgana would return to claim what was rightfully hers.

She moved to head back to the kitchen, when Morgana stopped her.

"Have some tea with us, Mrs Gibbons," Morgana said.

"Oh, no my lady, I've got dinner to prepare," Mrs Gibbons said, noting how Morgana's cheeks still turned pink at being called 'my lady'.

"I can help with dinner," Merlin said, placing his tea on the table.

Mrs Gibbons smiled, "Finish your tea and then you can help."

* * *

Arthur sat at the table, bored. Without Merlin or Morgana around, there wasn't much to do. Lancelot was visiting his family, Gwaine and Percy were nowhere to be found, Leon was probably out with Vivian (despite their insistence they weren't a couple), Mithian was back home somewhere in northern England, if he was remembering correctly, and Uther was busy with meetings and being the Prime Minister.

That left him and Gwen as the only ones who weren't busy. Except Gwen was, in fact, busy.

She was currently scurrying around the café, filling up people's mugs with tea or coffee. She had been home visiting her dad and brother, but since she needed the extra money, she commuted every day. Arthur didn't understand why she didn't just stay at her flat, but Gwen had explained it away by saying it was strange without Morgana there.

Arthur could see her point, as his own flat was quite lonesome without Merlin and Lancelot. Downing Street wasn't much better, as his father was always preoccupied with something more important than him.

Without warning, Gwen plopped down onto the chair next to him, brushing a stray tendril away from her face. She was wearing her coat and hat already.

"Busy day?" Arthur asked.

"Done day," Gwen corrected, relieved her shift was over now that Sebastian, a new waiter, had come to take over for her.

"How long have you been here?" Arthur asked with a raised brow.

"Since eight," Gwen shrugged. It was six already, and she had a break earlier.

"That means you had to be out of the house at seven," Arthur frowned.

"It's fine. I'd rather be at home and have to wake up earlier than go home to an empty flat," she sighed.

"You really miss her," Arthur said with a small smile.

"You do, too. You miss them both," Gwen said gently.

"Morgana's practically my sister, of course I miss her," Arthur shrugged.

"And Merlin?" Gwen asked.

"For some strange reason, I've gotten used to him," Arthur said.

Gwen snorted back her laugh, and Arthur smiled.

"You two are going to grow old together," she grinned.

Arthur made a face, making Gwen smile brighter.

"Let's go," Gwen stood, buttoning up her coat.

"Where to?" Arthur asked, shrugging his black coat on.

"My dad isn't supposed to get here to pick me up for another hour. We could just walk?" Gwen said.

"I could take you home," Arthur offered immediately. He could call Jonathan the driver and see Gwen off.

"Thanks, but it's fine," Gwen shook her head.

They began walking slowly, aimlessly. Arthur briefly wondered if this was what Merlin and Morgana did in their spare time. He immediately shook that thought away; he knew for a fact they did other things when alone, things he didn't want to think about.

He shuddered, and Gwen looked at him.

"Cold?" she asked.

"Just a bit," Arthur said.

Silence fell over them once more. It shouldn't be odd to be together without their friends. They had been left alone before. But they had never kissed before. That stupid mistletoe kiss hung over them like a dark cloud. It'd been a few days, and neither had mentioned it.

"I could call for a car right now," Arthur said after a few moments.

Gwen shook her head, "It's fine, really."

Arthur kicked a bit of snow out of their path and Gwen looked at him with a frown.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"What's bothering you?" Gwen asked.

"I'm fine, Gwen. Really," Arthur offered a small smile.

They had walked two blocks and ended up in front of the girls' dormitory building. Gwen looked up and sighed. She wished she could just stay there, but it felt so weird without Morgana. Plus, her dad had been looking forward to her being home for more than a weekend.

"I'm not stupid, Arthur. If you're uncomfortable about the kiss," Gwen started.

"There's nothing to be uncomfortable about," Arthur interrupted, "there was mistletoe. That's all."

"Exactly," Gwen nodded.

Arthur pulled his mobile out of his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Gwen asked.

"Calling Jonathan to bring the car 'round. Call your dad," Arthur said.

Gwen shook her head, but complied, all the while trying to hide her smile. Fifteen minutes later they were sitting in the back seat of the car Arthur had ordered to come pick them up, Gwen giving directions to Jonathan.

Arthur glanced at her ever so often, trying not to smile. She was just so…Gwen. Of course she started asking Jonathan how he was, about his family, and how is day had been. Arthur couldn't help himself, and smiled. She looked at him suddenly, seeming expectant.

"Well?" Gwen asked.

"Sorry, didn't hear the question," Arthur said sheepishly.

"Never mind," Gwen shook her head and turned her attention back to the driver.

* * *

Arthur walked Gwen to the front door of her house. It seemed to be an average-sized house, with a dark green door, and light brick walls. She unlocked the door and opened it briefly ajar.

"Want to come in for some tea?" she asked politely.

"No, it's fine. I should get going," Arthur said, looking towards the car.

"Jonathan can come in, stay warm," Gwen said.

"Good night, Gwen," Arthur shook his head and smiled at her.

"Night," Gwen watched as Arthur trotted down the steps towards the car.

She entered her house and closed the door behind her, sighing.

"Who was that?" Elyan called from the living room.

"A friend," Gwen said, unbuttoning her coat, "offered me a lift."

"That's nice," Elyan said, not thinking much of it.

* * *

Morgana's body was curled next to Merlin's, their faces close. The last time they had been here, Merlin had slept in a room across the corridor. Now he was with her.

She took the opportunity to just look at him. His eyes were the bluest blue she'd seen, now dark due to the lack of light in the room. His nose was straight, his cheekbones prominent, his hair dark as coal, with wave to it. She was so close she could count his freckles. If he closed his eyes, she'd be able to count his eyelashes, too.

Merlin's hand rested on her waist, lazily drawing circles over the thick flannel she wore. His other arm was lifted above his head. She had wrapped both her arms around Merlin's waist, huddled under the blankets.

"It's late," Merlin said, voice hoarse with sleep.

Morgana nodded, and Merlin pulled her closer to him, pressing his forehead against hers firmly. It was meant to be affectionate, but the both of them let out gasps.

_They were in a bed, much larger, much more lush. There were curtains closed around them, blocking them from view. Merlin's shirt was missing, and Morgana was covered by a thin sheet. _

_They heard a knock on the door, a blaring, booming voice._

"_MORGANA! OPEN THE DOOR," Arthur's voice came, low, and so much older._

"_No," Morgana whispered to Merlin, frightened, "please, hide. Go."_

_Merlin slipped his shirt back on and Morgana clutched the sheet to her. He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth and she pulled away._

"_Hurry," she murmured, running her hand over his arm. Merlin nodded and slipped away behind the curtain. She threw her dressing gown on and rubbed her eyes. She heard faint rustling and the creak of a door. She drew back the curtains around the bed and sighed in relief. Merlin was well hidden, that was for certain._

_She stood and opened the door ajar ever so slightly, looking annoyed._

_"What?" Morgana said sleepily._

"_Were you asleep?" Arthur asked._

"_No I was practicing spells this time of night," Morgana said dryly._

_"Magic's nothing to joke about," Arthur frowned at his sister. She knew too well of Uther's opinion about magic._

_"What's happened, Arthur?" Morgana eyed him suspiciously._

_Arthur stared at her, "I know Merlin's here."_

"_What?" Morgana laughed, "is he now? Care to search my chambers?"_

_Arthur brushed past her and came inside. He looked around the room, seeing no trace of his bumbling, foolish manservant. He looked at Morgana, disappointment etched on his face._

"_He's in the wardrobe," Morgana said, biting back a laugh._

_Arthur frowned, "I'm sorry to have disturbed you."_

"_Try the tavern if your manservant's missing," Morgana smirked._

"_We know you don't think of him as my manservant. Don't even try to lie, Morgana. Be careful. If father finds out, he'll have Merlin's head." Arthur said before departing._

_Morgana waited until Arthur's footsteps had faded away, and then opened the wardrobe doors, where Merlin had sat in hiding. He smiled at her tentatively, and Morgana shook her head, trying to hide her worry._

Merlin and Morgana broke away from each other, foreheads no longer touching.

"What the fuck was that?" Merlin said, his head starting to ache.

Morgana stared at him, looking just as frightened as the other Morgana had.

"It was like a dream, but we're awake. We both saw it," she muttered.

"Morgana," Merlin brushed her cheek gently, sending a jolt through her.

"No, this is all wrong," she pulled away from him and sat up. Merlin sat up as well.

"We're not those people, Morgana, it's okay," Merlin tried to soothe her.

"What if we _are_?" Morgana asked. What if they were the Lady, the Sorcerer, the King, the Queen? What if history was repeating itself, and they didn't know it? What if it had never happened, but now it was?

"We're not," Merlin said with such certainty Morgana wanted nothing more than to believe him.

Morgana looked down and wrapped her arms around her knees. Merlin scooted closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"We'll figure this out, why you're having these dreams, visions," Merlin promised.

"You saw it too, Merlin," she said in doubt.

"There has to be an explanation, a logical, non-magical related one," he pursed his lips.

"Right, right," Morgana mumbled under her breath.

Everything would be fine. All she needed was some sleep.

* * *

Her dreams were haunted by images of her choking, of her holding a dagger at Merlin's throat, of Arthur's gaunt, pale face staring at her in shock as he fell to the ground as the castle crumbled around them in flames. She saw her wrists in manacles, chaining her to the wall. She saw the manacles disappear but scars and bandages take their place. She saw hateful blue eyes and a mop of dark hair staring at her, asking her _Is this what you wanted, Morgana?_

She woke with a start, clutching her chest. Merlin was already up, rubbing his eyes.

"Merlin, Merlin," she said in a panic.

"I know," Merlin looked at her, eyes lidded and heavy. He looked as if he'd gotten no sleep.

"You saw it too?" she asked.

He nodded, obviously confused.

"Get the magic book, please. Maybe we can find something," Morgana bit her lip.

Merlin complied and within moments the book was open before them, the ancient tales and spells staring right at them.

They flipped towards the last pages, the blank ones, and placed their hands on it. Just like before, ink filled the page and the book began to glow. It was brighter this time, almost blinding them.

Their eyes took time to adjust. To their surprise, there was something different written than what had been there all those months ago back at Gaius's shop.

"Merlin," Morgana's voice was high-pitched, nervous.

Merlin removed his hand from the book and slammed it shut, making the light and words disappear.

"This is ridiculous. It's not real. It's not real," he said, shaking his head.

He had seen it, though. Morgana in chains, her wrists scarred. He had seen the look of utter hatred on his own face, and the betrayal and hate etched on hers. He had seen Arthur's demise. He had seen it all, but he refused to believe it. None of it was real.

"If it's not real, then what is it?" Morgana glared at him.

She was tired of being placated. Of being told everything was going to be fine. Of being treated like a child. She was the one who had to deal with those strange, terrifying dreams and visions or whatever the hell they were on a daily basis. If Merlin was freaking out at this, how did he think she felt?

"It can't be," he looked at her with wide eyes. If it was real, it meant that they had hurt each other. That they were capable of hurting each other. That's something he didn't even want to consider.

Morgana's glare softened. She could see his point. She didn't want it to be real either.

* * *

Gwen's cough racked her body and she groaned. Her head ached and she could barely keep any food down.

She had called in sick to work, thankful that Sebastian was willing to cover for her. Her father and Elyan had to go to work, leaving her home alone with what appeared to be a fever.

She was curled up on the couch, box of tissues and mug of tea on the coffee table. She was watching reruns of D_ownton Abbey, _because what else was she supposed to do?

She had spoken to Morgana earlier in the morning. Morgana had sounded tired, and Gwen didn't even want to delve into why exactly that was. She shuddered upon remembering the unfortunate moment when she walked in on them months ago.

The doorbell sounded and Gwen looked towards the door, confused. She stood, taking the blanket she'd wrapped around her shoulders with her. Had her dad forgotten his mobile again?

She opened the door and was startled to find Arthur Pendragon standing on her doorstep, plastic container in hand.

"Hi," he greeted.

"Hi," she parroted in confusion, "what are you doing here?"

"I went to the café and your boss told me you were sick, so I brought you soup," Arthur said, lifting the container as if to illustrate his point.

"Oh," Gwen said dumbly, "you didn't have to."

Arthur shrugged, "I didn't make it. It was the cook at home."

He inwardly panicked a bit at the sight of Gwen's mouth forming a thin line. Lancelot would've made her soup, he was sure.

"Do you want to come in?" Gwen asked, voice thick with the cold she had.

"I don't want to disturb you. I just brought the soup," Arthur said.

"So you came all this way just to bring me soup?" Gwen smiled slightly, trying to suppress a cough.

He shook his head and handed her the container, "Feel better soon, Gwen."

"Thanks," she took the container and watched as he left the step and headed back for the car waiting for him.

Once the car was out of sight, Gwen retreated back into the house and into the kitchen. She set the container in the microwave and smiled to herself. That man was full of surprises.

* * *

Morgana sat up in the tree house that had never completely been built. It had a floor and two walls, but the sidewalls were still missing. Gorlois had never gotten to finish building it.

She remembered the weekends she'd spend with her dad as he laid the planks of wood down, her handing him the hammer or nails. She remembered the day her dad fixed up the swing hanging from a branch in the large tree. It was the very same swing Merlin was perched on at that very moment, all the while she swung her legs from the edge of the tree house.

They were bundled in their coats, for this winter was harsher than others. Both of them were tired, weary. Her dreams, their dreams, had shaken them more than either would care to admit.

Magic. It was pure magic, she was sure. What it meant, she would hopefully soon find out.

"Shame dad never finished the tree house," Morgana said finally.

Merlin looked up at her from the swing, "We'll finish it."

Her face split into a wide grin. _We'll finish it_. He was so certain that they would be together, that they'd finish building what her father had started, that it warmed her cold bones. She could close her eyes and see her and Merlin living here after graduating and getting jobs.

"What?" Merlin asked, raising a brow.

"Nothing," she said, still smiling.

* * *

That night they found themselves in Will's car after he picked them up from the train station in Belfast.

Mrs Gibbons had sent them off, and Morgana had made sure to bid farewell to all the members of the staff in the house. Mrs Gibbons told her to visit more often, and Morgana left the old woman with empty promises. It hurt to be home. It was a good sort of hurt, but hurt and pain and longing and loss nonetheless.

Will went and on and on about some stupid thing Arianne had done to annoy him, about how she refused to call him anything but 'stupid'. Merlin smiled to himself and let his friend rant and Morgana glanced at him in mild amusement.

The conversation turned to how every time Will went over to Arianna and Freya's, there would be a mess about. The affectionate tone he used betrayed his complaints, though.

Will asked them about how their classes were, and Morgana replied that they're just happy to be done with finals and to relax a bit. Merlin nodded, and Will snorted. They were such a couple.

He dropped them off at Hunith's, and told them to be around tomorrow at pub.

Hunith and Balinor greeted them, Balinor far more reserved than Hunith. Morgana knew she was a stranger to this man. Merlin was practically a stranger, too. To find his son after nearly twenty years must have been hard on him. He was darker than Merlin and Hunith, his eyes a deep brown. His eyes reminded her of her own father, the father she had buried long ago.

After exchanging pleasantries and sitting down for a late cup of tea, Morgana noticed Balinor staring at her strangely.

"You have the sight," he said to her when the conversation about the weather had lulled.

Hunith tensed beside him, and Merlin looked confused before remembering what Gaius had once told them and refused to bring up ever again.

"I've been told," Morgana said as calm as she could.

"Balinor, drop it," Hunith practically hissed. They were just children. Magic and stories and myths did not exist. Not any longer.

Balinor complies with Hunith's wishes but Merlin doesn't seem to appreciate that at all.

"I brought the book," he said, and Hunith's eyes narrowed.

"No," his mother said immediately, her warm countenance icing over.

"The myths?" Balinor's brown eyes went wide.

Merlin nodded and a flush crept up Hunith's neck, to her cheeks.

"Magic nearly destroyed us once," she looked to Balinor, blue eyes pleading. She then turned to Merlin, "My boy, my sweet boy, forget it, please."

"I need to know, mum. _We_ need to know," Merlin said. It was affecting Morgana more than himself, and he'd be damned if she was hurt in any way.

Hunith knew there was no arguing, and Balinor sighed.

"Some say that the story of Emrys, the Lady, the Once and Future King and Queen…they say that it never came to pass. Some say it has, and that they've been asleep until they are needed once more, waiting to awake and lead the world," Balinor started to explain.

"And my dreams?" Morgana pressed.

"Could be anything. It could be your subconscious, it could be glimpses into a past you once had, it could be the future," Balinor said.

"A future that looks like the Middle Ages?" Morgana frowned.

"I saw it too, just twice, but I saw it," Merlin said, face set in a firm frown.

Balinor took this into consideration, and Merlin continued.

"Gaius said we have magic," Merlin said.

Hunith rolled her eyes, "Of course he did."

"Please, help us," Morgana looked at Merlin's parents, her eyes wide.

"Get the book," Balinor said, and Merlin scrambled to his feet to retrieve it from the luggage.

Hunith and Balinor exchanged a wary look, and Morgana felt her stomach jumble into a knot.

* * *

**So, any theories about the next chapter? I will try to update soon, and write out a few chapters so I can update even when classes become too time-consuming. Please review.  
**


	29. Past and Future

**Thank you all for reading/reviewing/etc. I really appreciate it. I'm still on midterm break, and I'm not as sick as I was, so that's good news, I think. **

* * *

**Past and Future  
**

They were holed up together in Merlin's room, pressed together on the cramped bed. Morgana stared blankly at the ceiling, schooling her features into passivity. She'd been like that for an hour, at least. Merlin stared at her worriedly, brows creased, a line in the middle of his forehead. He wanted to talk to her of what they'd just been told by Balinor. He just wanted to hold her and comfort her. They were warned not to tell anyone, because no one else could actually remember. Gaius had small inklings, but that was it. Even Hunith was surprised, and admitted she remembered nothing of a past life.

Morgana remembered, and she was scared. She wouldn't even look at him. She had been silent since Balinor had explained that Morgana's dreams could in fact be glimpses to a past life. Neither her magic nor Merlin's was strong enough to do much about it, and Balinor stressed that they should stop trying to cast spells or dig into the past. It would only cause them pain and sorrow. It seemed magic was only good for causing heartbreak. Balinor all but confirmed her fears about her dreams, and now she had to deal with the truth.

"I'm a monster," Morgana said after an extended silence.

She had seen it. She knew it was likely to have once been reality, now. She tried to kill and destroy everything she held dear. Her worst fears were coming true, and she felt so lost. How could she be so evil? How could the people she cared about do that to her?

"If you're a monster, so am I," Merlin tried to smile, and failed miserably.

He had poisoned her. He had lied to her. He had tried to kill her, repeatedly. He was part of the reason her heart grew cold, and why she ended up hiding who she was, only to be persecuted and imprisoned. He couldn't handle that guilt. Balinor had to be mistaken.

Morgana blinked back the tears welling in her eyes. She wanted to forget it all. She couldn't believe that Uther would ever hurt her like that, or that Merlin could ever betray her. It was all too surreal and terrible. Arthur as the King was the only thing she could laugh at, the thought so comical it made her scoff. But she hurt him, too.

"We can't let that happen to us," Morgana finally turned to face Merlin.

"I promise," Merlin swore to her and kissed her softly on the mouth.

Whatever that was though, this time, they were in it together. No more lies, no more betrayals.

"I love you," Merlin cradled her cheek in his hand.

"You loved me then, too," Morgana couldn't help but say it. She noted the look of hurt that flashed across Merlin's face, ever so briefly, and immediately regretted it. This was Merlin, her Merlin, could never betray her. Right?

"Please, Morgana. I would never hurt you. The past, if that was our past, is just that. We can't let it hold us back," Merlin said softly.

Morgana smiled, knowing she shouldn't worry, and kissed him, moving her lips against his. Merlin rolled on top of her, and she lifted her arms to grasp at the back of his neck. He broke the kiss and wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb before kissing her once more. He dragged his mouth down to her neck, and she tried not to moan.

"Merlin," she whispered.

"What?" he asked between kisses.

"Not here," she hissed in his ear.

He stopped, knowing she had a point, but kissed her again.

"Seriously, your mum gave us a rule last time," her breath hitched as his hand made its way under her shirt.

"We'll just have to be really quiet then," Merlin gave her a smirk.

"Bastard," she muttered, and then pulled his face closer to hers.

* * *

_Nothing around her looks like it belongs in the Middle Ages. That in and of itself was a good sign. In the place of a castle stood her home in Ireland, her mother's home. It was the home she had spent the first nine years of her life in. It was the home she loved best, not counting her flat with Gwen. _

_She was seated on the swing in the yard, gently kicking her feet back and forth. The tree house was completed, four walls, a roof, and all. She heard a yelp of laughter and turned to the vast expanse of the yard. _

_A little girl with dark waves ran as fast as her short legs could take her, her mouth in a wide grin, two front teeth missing._

"_Mummy!" she shouted, waving a cardboard sword in the air._

_Morgana stood and grinned, walking over to her._

"_And where have you been, my brave knight?" she asked the child._

"_I slayed the dragon," she grinned triumphantly._

_Behind her, Merlin stalked forward, rubbing the back of his head. His jeans were muddied, and that's when Morgana noticed the child's clothes remained immaculately clean, despite slaying the dragon._

"_Did you now?" Morgana smirked at her husband._

_Merlin scowled at her, "Being a dragon is hard work. I always lose."_

"_That's because I'm a knight!" the girl smiled at her father innocently._

_Merlin smiled at her, and Morgana moved towards him, pressing a kiss to his cheek._

"_I think the dragon needs to take a shower," Morgana said in amusement._

_"Will the lady help?" he leaned in close to her ear._

_The little girl made a face and swatted her father in the knee with the fake sword. They were worse than her uncle and aunt sometimes. _

"_Not just now," Morgana smiled playfully and took the spare cardboard sword from Merlin. Why their child insisted on giving a 'dragon' a sword, she'd never understand._

"_On guard," she pointed the cardboard at the child._

_The girl immediately stood side-ways, and Merlin raised a brow._

"_Why are you standing like that?"_

_"It's sideface," the girl said as if it was obvious._

"_It makes her a smaller target," Morgana said matter-of-factly._

_In that moment, Merlin could only hope his wife hadn't been letting their six year old anywhere near their old Game of Thrones DVDs or her collection of the book series._

_The little girl brought the sword forward, hitting it against Morgana's, and the two ran around the yard while Merlin settled onto the grass, watching them 'fight'._

* * *

Morgana opened her eyes, a soft smile crossing her face. If she could see the future, and that was it, she didn't mind at all. She never thought she'd be the marrying kind. She was always so isolated and guarded, but now she was more open to the idea. The last time she had a glimpse of the future, her parents ended up dead. This dream was infinitely more pleasant.

Merlin rolled over on his side, eyes half-open.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Morning," she kissed him softly.

Merlin deepened the kiss, and Morgana sighed against him.

"I had a dream," Morgana said sleepily.

Merlin's eyes immediately narrowed in concern, and Morgana laughed softly.

"It was a good dream. No castles, betrayals, or poison to be found," Morgana assured him.

"Good," he let out a breath and kissed her shoulder.

"Merlin," she said.

"Yeah?"

"If your mum heard us last night, you know she's going to kill us," she bit her lip.

"She won't kill us. She'll just drag us to church on Sunday," Merlin said lightly.

"I haven't been to church since my parents' funeral," Morgana snorted.

"Well, let's hope my mum didn't hear us," Merlin smiled.

They got out of bed and dressed, and wandered into the living room to find it empty.

"Mum?" Merlin called, walking down the corridor to his mother's room. He knocked on the door, and there was no answer.

He creaked the door open and found it empty. He knew his mother didn't have work until a night shift later that day. He frowned, and returned to the main room to find Morgana sitting on a tall chair in front of the counter in the kitchen. She raised a brow.

"My mother seems to be missing," Merlin said in confusion.

"Did you try your dad's?" Morgana suggested.

Merlin's eyes nearly bulged out of its sockets. He hadn't even considered that possibility. After all, Balinor lived on the same block. Could they have left after he and Morgana retreated to his room? Or maybe Hunith just went by for breakfast. Yes, that had to be it. Breakfast.

"Merlin," Morgana looked at him in amusement, "you having a stroke?"

"Why didn't I think of that?" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Think that your parents might be back together?" Morgana asked.

"They said they were friends," Merlin tried to defend his lack of foresight.

"They did make a baby once," Morgana pointed out.

"Oh shut it," Merlin rolled his eyes and stalked into the kitchen to make breakfast.

"Grouch," she stuck her tongue out.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Arthur asked as Gwen set a mug of tea on the table he was sitting at.

"Much. Thank you," she smiled and settled into the chair next to him. She placed her own mug on the table once she was seated.

Her shift was over for the day, a little after two in the afternoon, since her boss didn't want her to get sick again.

"Are you going straight home?" Arthur asked as they drank their tea in companionable silence.

"Yeah. Got to get ready for New Year's. Elyan's bringing his girlfriend around this time, so everything needs to be perfect," Gwen rolled her eyes, slightly bitter that her father and Elyan didn't try to make Lancelot feel welcome at all.

"You've got two days to worry about that," Arthur pointed out.

"I've got nothing else to do," she shrugged, "what do you do when you're bored?"

"Annoy Morgana or play video games," Arthur replied honestly.

"Video games," Gwen murmured, as if she'd never thought of it before.

"Do you want to come by and play some Wii sports?" Arthur asked.

"To Downing Street?" Gwen's eyes widened.

Arthur nodded.

"To the Prime Minister's house?" Gwen asked, eyes still wide.

"Well yes, that's where I live when on holiday," Arthur tried not to smile.

"Yeah, sure," Gwen agreed easily.

* * *

An hour and two mugs of tea later, Gwen found herself sitting on a couch in the sitting room of Downing Street, flicking her wrist with the controller as she and Arthur played tennis on the Wii.

Arthur's jaw was set in concentration, and his arm was tensed. Gwen grinned as she got another point, and Arthur scowled.

"That was just luck," he grumbled.

"Like the last game I won?" Gwen smirked.

She moved the controller and hit the ball, and Arthur hit it back, out of the court. Gwen got the point, winning another match.

"I like this game," she said with a smile.

"How 'bout we try the sword fighting this time?" Arthur said, standing to change the game.

"Why not," Gwen swung the controller.

Arthur pushed the coffee table back, and they stood next to each other, controllers at the ready. Gwen immediately started swinging the controller at the Wii version of Arthur, bashing him repeatedly.

"You're not really knocking me into the ocean," Arthur grimaced as his Mii was hit in the head.

"This is fun," Gwen said, blocking a hit.

"Do you want the real swords?" Arthur asked dryly.

"Do you really have swords? Could we?" Gwen paused her movements, and Arthur smiled at her.

"Morgana and I used to take fencing lessons before dad was elected. All of our gear is in storage somewhere, sorry," he said.

Gwen frowned and moved her controller, knocking Arthur's Mii into the ocean.

"That was for getting my hopes up."

Arthur laughed, "I suppose I deserved that."

* * *

Morgana watched as Arianne and Will downed shot after shot in a drinking contest. It was the night before New Year's Eve, and since Arianne had to be with her family for the actual holiday, she had gone out with her friends tonight.

Freya shook her head at the two, frowning.

"They're going to end up puking all over the place," Freya cringed.

Merlin wrapped an arm around Freya's shoulder and smirked, "Don't worry. We'll help you drag Will home."

"Oh, gee, thanks," Freya glared at her oldest friend, then turned to Morgana, "He's gotten snarkier than I remember."

He'd always been a bit sarcastic and cheeky, but now it was more blatant.

"My bad influence, sorry," Morgana smiled.

"Can you influence those two to stop drinking that as if it was water?" Freya jerked her head towards Will and Arianne.

Merlin laughed, "She'd be more likely to join them."

Morgana glared at Merlin, who immediately fell silent. He removed his arm from around Freya's shoulder and looked at her with a small smile.

"How's Clark?" he asked.

"You should ask Arianne. He's her brother," Freya said, blush creeping up her neck.

Merlin raised a brow, and Morgana rolled her eyes, "Leave her alone, Merlin. Pestering people about who they fancy is annoying."

"I don't fancy him!" Freya protested, and Merlin and Morgana shared a look.

"Or don't fancy. Whatever," Morgana casually took a sip of her beer.

A thump from the table nearby stopped their argument. They turned to find Will and Arianne staring each other down across the table, Will's blue eyes set into a look of stubbornness, while Arianne's grey eyes were determined and annoyed.

"They're going to kill each other," Merlin mumbled.

"Arianne's more likely to kill Will than the other way around," Freya said, causing Morgana to snort. 'Kill Will' had such a nice ring to it.

"Give up, stupid," Arianne said, her eyes narrowed.

"I can drink you under the table," Will wrinkled his nose.

"You can try," her grey eyes glinted, and Will took her up on the challenge.

Freya groaned and felt like banging her head against the table.

"All bloody year, it's been 'stupid, stubborn idiot' this, 'm'lady' that," Freya complained. She figured Will called Arianne 'm'lady' because of her higher social status and her family's wealth, but Merlin didn't go around calling Morgana that, now did he?

"Just lock them together in a room and see what happens," Morgana suggested thoughtfully.

Merlin burst out laughing, and even Freya had to stifle her giggles. She seemed to consider the notion for a moment.

"We'd have to plan Will's funeral," she said solemnly.

"Oi!" Will shouted from the other table, "If you're plotting my murder, can you please not discuss it while I'm here?"

Arianne grinned widely, "I can help!" she told the other three.

"And here I thought we had something special," Will pouted jokingly.

"Yeah, me beating your stupid arse," Arianne smirked.

"As if," Will scoffed, leading to another staring contest.

Freya shook her head, "See what I have to put up with every day?"

"You're a more patient person than I am. I would've smacked them by now," Morgana made a face.

"And then locked them up together," Merlin added.

Morgana nodded, "That too."

"I win!" shouted Arianne as Will stood from the table, stumbling a bit.

"Let's see you walk in a straight line then," Will challenged.

Arianne got up and tried to walk in a straight line, only to veer left and right into Will. He steadied her and their cheeks flushed, presumably from the alcohol.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Morgana rolled her eyes, "you both lost."

Will and Arianne turned to face her at the same time, Arianne stepping away from Will clumsily.

Morgana and Merlin shared a knowing look, and Freya shook her head once more. She was friends with a band of idiots.

* * *

New Year's Eve was spent at a pub with Will and Freya. Arianne had returned home to her family's manor, her older brother Clark in tow, despite the fact that he no longer lived there. Freya was a bit disheartened at her friend's departure, as was Will (perhaps more so, though he would never admit it).

"We got together last New Year," Merlin nipped at Morgana's ear from their place at the table.

"We were completely smashed," she recalled.

"Any regrets?" he asked.

"Not meeting you sooner," she said honestly.

"Well, we technically met centuries ago," Merlin tried to make light of their dark pasts.

"And that was a royal cock up. Let's do better this time, yeah?" Morgana smiled slightly.

"I'll do anything to make it better," Merlin swore to her, and kissed her.

Will and Freya returned from the bar, each carrying two drinks. They set the drinks down on the table and settled in next to their friends.

"Save the snogging for later," Will said, sounding a bit grumpy.

"Don't you go starting a fight because Arianne's not here to bicker with you," Freya glared at her old friend.

Will muttered something under his breath and Merlin grinned.

"I'm going to miss you two," he told his oldest friends from childhood.

"Likewise," Will said, while Freya nodded.

The two had been living with each other while back home from university. Freya would have preferred staying in Belfast since her relationship with her parents was still rocky, but Will convinced her to come, and Arianne came along, deciding to stay with her brother.

"You should come to London," Morgana said, "during Easter holiday or something."

"That sounds fun," Freya said, and Will nodded.

"I haven't been to London since a school trip in sixth form," Will recalled.

"I remember that trip," Merlin snorted.

"You two, always getting into trouble," Freya shook her head in mock-disappointment.

"Aw, come on, Freya, it was fun," Will nudged her.

"Fun getting lost in the middle of London and missing the train, then getting detention? Yes, great fun," Freya crossed her arms.

"You've got to sort out your priorities," Will mumbled, and Merlin laughed.

"Shut up, the both of you. I'm surprised you didn't get us expelled," Freya rolled her eyes.

Morgana smiled. It was like watching the Golden Trio bicker, minus the gingers and Hogwarts. It was nice to see a group of friends who were still so close after all these years. She was only ever close to Nimueh, and they had scarcely been in touch for the past two years.

"Then you'll be visiting for Easter," Merlin said hopefully.

Will held up his drink, "Cheers, then mates."

They all followed suit, clinking their glasses together as midnight crept closer on them.

* * *

Gwen, Leon, Percival, Gwaine, Mithian, and Arthur sat around at table in the pub where Gwaine worked (the smaller one, not the overcrowded one full of drunk revellers) and took long chugs of their drinks.

Arthur noted Vivian's absence, and wondered if she'd tired of Leon, too. She was a bit flighty like that, and he didn't fault her for it. Leon didn't seem to take it too badly, since he was the one who had been insistent that there was nothing serious going on. Instead, he and Mithian seemed to be making eyes at each other across the table.

Gwaine had pressed his chair as close to Percival's as possible, and Gwen and Arthur were painfully aware that they were the fifth and sixth wheels to what seemed to be a double date. Had Lancelot been there instead of visiting his family, he and Gwen would probably be acting like lovesick fools, too. Arthur still wasn't entirely convinced the Gwen and Lancelot ship had set sail for good. It was too good to be true, especially if they were as happy apart as they claimed to be.

He sorely missed Morgana and Merlin, as much as he didn't want to admit it to anyone, let alone himself. He was certain they were having fun with Merlin's friends, and he was slightly jealous at the thought. He and Merlin weren't best friends. They were just flatmates. It made sense that Merlin was closer to his childhood friends, and now, closer to Lancelot than he ever would be to him.

Gwen sent him a look across the table and smiled, holding up her glass.

"Cheers, to another year," she said.

"Cheers!" everyone chorused.

Gwen gave him a look, and Arthur tried to smile. It seemed to have become custom for her to try to cheer him up. It worked.

* * *

They sat around the table in Hunith's flat, poking at their breakfasts. Morgana and Merlin both head bleary, blood-shot eyes from all the alcohol they had consumed the night before.

As if to make their headaches worse, Balinor closed the window with a loud clack, since it started to snow and Hunith didn't want snowflakes in the room.

"Sorry," he said upon noticing his son and his son's girlfriend cringe at the sound.

"I take it you two had fun last night," Hunith smiled, walking over to Balinor, handinding him a cup of coffee.

"Yep," Merlin said, too tired to elaborate.

Balinor and Hunith shared a look, both of them trying not to laugh. It's as if they knew what the other was thinking. After all those years, they were still in-sync. Merlin looked at his parents, and felt a pang of longing. This was how his childhood was supposed to be. His mother and father were supposed to raise him together, making jokes and sharing loving glances. Sure, they would still be poor, but at least they would have been together.

Morgana noticed Merlin's sudden sullenness and took his hand, squeezing it gently. She was happy that Merlin had both his parents, but it just made her miss her own parents more than she already did.

"This place is going to be empty without you here," Hunith said, sitting down at the table, Balinor following suit.

"You're not alone," Merlin said, glancing at his father.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana stood outside the row of flats. Morgana hugged Freya and told her to keep in touch, then Hunith pulled her into a hug. Merlin wrapped his arms around Freya and kissed the top of her head, telling her tell him if Clark tries something 'untoward' which made her laugh. Merlin hugged his mum, then looked at Balinor.

"Bye, Merlin," Balinor said, smiling sadly at his grown son.

"Bye, dad," Merlin hugged him quickly.

Balinor tried not to cry. His son called him 'dad' for the first time. Hunith placed a hand on Balinor's shoulder, and Will honked the horn of his car.

"You're going to miss your train," he called for the pair.

"Bye," Morgana waved to the assembled group.

Merlin waved, and the two got into Will's car.

* * *

Will said goodbye to them at the train station (hugging both Merlin and Morgana, and telling them to make some space for him for his stay during the Easter holiday) and hours later they found themselves in London.

Arthur and Gwen were waiting for them, and Gwen rushed up to hug her friends immediately. She had missed them, and she was looking forward to just spending time with Morgana until classes started in a few days. Arthur tried to look less enthusiastic, but he smiled brightly, betraying his emotions.

"Welcome back," Arthur told them.

"It's good to be back," Morgana, wrapping an arm around her foster brother.

"What have you two been up to?" Merlin asked.

Gwen and Arthur glanced at each other, "Video games," the chorused.

Merlin raised a brow.

"Is that code for something?" Morgana asked, causing Merlin to laugh, and Gwen and Arthur to sputter unintelligibly.

* * *

**So, a magical reveal of sorts. They're not powerful enough to do anything, because like Gaius explained a few chapters back, there's not a lot of magic left in the world. Hopefully they can move forward and not let that whole 'trying to kill each other' thing get in the way. Thank you for reading and please review.  
**


	30. Conversations

**I am so sorry this took so long. Classes have started, I've got tons of essays to do, and I'm still sick. This will probably be on hiatus for a while. I'll still be writing, I just want to write out a few chapters before I start posting again. Thank you for reading/reviewing/favoriting/etc.**

* * *

**Conversations**

A bowl of popcorn was set out on the coffee table, along with a bowl of crisps, a box of chocolates, and hot cocoa.

Morgana and Gwen sat on the couch in their flat, facing the telly. They were having a movie marathon, just the two of them. They were watching the _Princess Bride_, and would later move onto _Men in Tights_. It was a Carey Elwes sort of evening.

Gwen had been quiet about how she had spent her New Year. Morgana knew she had a cold a few days ago since they had spoken over the phone, but other than that she had only said that everyone was at the pub for drinks on New Year's Eve, and that she had spent New Year's Day with her family and Elyan's girlfriend. Morgana wanted to know what 'video games' entailed.

"It was just a few matches of tennis and some sword fighting," Gwen shrugged.

"Fine," Morgana dropped the topic.

"Did you have fun?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah. Will and Freya might come by during Easter holiday," Morgana took a handful of popcorn.

"I really want to meet Will," Gwen said, imagining what Merlin's best friend was like.

"He's funny," Morgana said between mouthfuls.

"That's good. Grumps are no fun," Gwen said politely, taking a crisp.

Morgana nodded, then shushed her friend as they watched the Dread Pirate Roberts roll down the hill, screaming AS YOU WISH, Buttercup following after him.

Gwen smiled, remembering how Lancelot would utter 'as you wish' whenever she requested something. She would be lying if she said she didn't miss him. She missed his smiles and his laugh and how his scruff felt when he kissed her. She loved Lancelot, she really, truly did, but they were making an honest go of just being friends. She'd always love Lancelot, but the romantic notions were slowly fading to be replaced by purely platonic ones.

"I love this movie," Gwen muttered, bringing the bowl to sit between them on the couch.

Morgana nodded.

"Have you got your schedule sorted?" Morgana asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah," Gwen said, a bit disbelieving that they only had a year left.

The thought made her a bit sad. She'd made the best friends she could ever have, and it would be over all too soon. She frowned, but Morgana didn't seem to notice as she shovelled more food in her mouth, entranced by the film.

"I've still got to make sure I've got the news media class I wanted," Morgana said, mouth still full.

"Chew, Morgana," Gwen said with a small smile.

"Sorry," she swallowed the popcorn, "as I was saying…"

* * *

Merlin groaned as Arthur punched the punching bag, nearly knocking him over. Merlin had been holding the bag as Arthur hit it, repeatedly.

"Oh for God's sake, Merlin, hold the bag still," Arthur complained.

"A bit hard to do when you seem intent on breaking the damn thing," Merlin grumbled at his flatmate.

Arthur raised his arms in annoyance, then gently shoved Merlin aside. He took off his gloves, and handed them to Merlin.

"What am I supposed to do with these?" Merlin asked.

"Go wash them for me," Arthur rolled his eyes, "put them on, Merlin. Let's see how you punch."

Merlin rolled his eyes back and put the gloves on as instructed. Arthur held the punching bag, waiting for Merlin to hit it. Merlin raised his arms and tried to punch as he'd seen Arthur do. He didn't know why he had agreed to go to the gym with Arthur, bur since Morgana was insistent that she and Gwen would have a girls' day, there wasn't much for him to do (unless he and Gwaine wanted to get into a drinking contest).

"That's pathetic," Arthur snorted, barely affected by the punch.

Merlin scowled and swung harder at the bag, and was pleased to hear Arthur grunt. Whether it was out of surprise or actual force, Merlin was a bit proud of himself.

"Better," Arthur conceded.

"Then are we done here?" Merlin asked.

"No," Arthur said immediately, making Merlin groan.

He raised his fits once more and hit the bag repeatedly, just wanting to go home and relax. They'd been out all day. It had started with going out for coffee, then a trip to the shops because Uther's birthday was in a month and Arthur wanted to get the present-buying bit over with, and then an extremely long trip to the gym.

When Merlin had asked if it was because Arthur had been eating too much during the holidays, Arthur responded by throwing a weight ball at him and muttering some nonsense about being 'fighting fit'.

Merlin still had to go see Gaius and tell him that Balinor explained everything, and that he didn't need to hide things from him anymore. He was a bit disappointed Gaius had kept the truth from him, but he supposed the old man had his reasons. He was mostly concerned about Morgana, though she seemed to be fine, for the most part. She would get a far-off look in her eyes sometimes when she looked at him, and a small frown would cross her features, and Merlin would wonder if she remembered something horrible he had once done to her. He would wonder what he could do to make it up to her.

"Whoa, Merlin, enough!" Arthur shouted, knocking Merlin out of his thoughts. He had been relentlessly hitting the punching bag, and by extension, Arthur, for the past minute.

Merlin stopped, and blinked, dazed.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked, seemingly concerned.

Merlin looked at his friend, trying to imagine him as the Prince from that vision, and later as the King. He shook his head, trying to forget that they ever were other people, and focus on the present.

"Fine, sorry," Merlin said in a low voice.

"Let's go, then," Arthur frowned at Merlin's sudden sullenness.

Maybe a pint would cheer him up?

After Arthur showered and changed at the flat, he dragged Merlin to the pub, where Gwaine, Percival, and Leon were waiting.

"How was Ireland?" Gwaine asked, sounding a bit wistful.

"It was great to be back, I missed being there," Merlin replied honestly, and Gwaine nodded.

"I regret not heading over this holiday, but I had work," Gwaine said, glancing at Percy, "up for a holiday?"

"Name the time and place," Percival said with a small smile.

"Your parents are still in Dublin?" Merlin asked Gwaine.

"My mum, yeah. And my sisters," he said, nodding, "one's at Trinity, the others are still in secondary school."

"How many sisters do you have?" Leon asked.

Gwaine glared at him suspiciously, "Three. Why?"

"No reason," Leon said, wondering why Gwaine looked so angry at him. He wasn't interested in Gwaine's sisters. He had Mithian. Well, no, he didn't have Mithian, because Mithian refused to be in a relationship and had called him a 'really nice guy' and had mentioned something about asking her again in a few months.

"So, yeah. Saw my mum and friends. They're all fine," Merlin said.

"It's weird to go back home and see that everyone's moved on," Gwaine said thoughtfully, making everyone turn to look at him.

"I can be insightful sometimes," Gwaine bristled, and Percival patted him on the shoulder lovingly.

"We know that," Percy said, almost trying to placate him.

"Sure have a funny way of showing it," Gwaine said.

Percival smiled and bent down to peck the top of Gwaine's head. He had to bend down, because there was still quite the height difference even while sitting.

"Lancelot should be back tomorrow," Leon said, trying to change the topic.

"He was gone longer than he said," Percy said, sounding a bit confused.

Gwaine glanced at Percy, knowing that Percy had fancied Lancelot until it was clear Lancelot was, in fact, straight. He knew he had nothing to worry about, and that they were all friends, but he couldn't help but wonder sometimes if Percy would have chosen him anyway. After all, he was just some drunken barman who had dropped out in his second year two years ago.

Arthur's frown was nearly imperceptible, but it was there. He shouldn't be upset that his friend and flatmate was returning, but he was afraid Lancelot and Gwen would pick up right where they had left off a week and a half ago: snogging each other's faces off.

Merlin looked at his friends, and decided to speak up, "I think my parents are back together."

"What?" Arthur's thoughts about Gwen and Lancelot were disrupted.

Merlin nodded, and Gwaine piped up, "You told us he moved back on the same block."

"He did. Except I think they're going to get back together. They were never divorced," Merlin tried to clarify.

"That's kind of romantic," Percy smiled, "are you happy about it?"

"I never had a dad," Merlin bit his lip, "now he shows up twenty years later, and he's missed everything. But yeah, I'm happy."

"My dad left when I was fourteen," Gwaine shared, "My sister Elaine was eleven, and the twins were seven."

Merlin smiled slightly. Elaine and Gwaine. They rhymed.

"That's rough," Leon said. He had both parents growing up, thank goodness.

Percy, too, had grown up with both parents, while Lancelot was raised by his mother only. Arthur's mother had died when he was born, and Uther was the only parental unit he'd ever known. Sometimes the Lefays would come by, and he remembered how jealous he was that Morgana had two parents who loved her completely. When they died, he thought his jealousy had played a part.

They all took long drinks, thinking about their families.

* * *

The next afternoon, they found themselves in the café. It was the day before spring term classes were to begin, and Lancelot had returned that morning. He, Merlin, Morgana, and Arthur sat at a crowded table, and Leon, Percival, and Gwaine had pushed another table to create a larger one.

Gwen ran back and forth, alternately taking orders from other diners or talking to her friends.

Arthur tried not to let the way Gwen's eyes lingered too long on Lancelot grate on his nerves, but it was obvious to all that he was uncomfortable for some reason.

Morgana glanced sneakily between Arthur and Gwen, the gears in her head turning. Something had happened that she didn't know about. She looked to Merlin, who shrugged and took a sip of tea.

Everyone was currently comparing their schedules, save Gwaine, who mocked them mercilessly.

Morgana, Merlin, and Lancelot still had journalism. Merlin had more science and math classes. Morgana had gotten the Feminist History and Theory class she wanted. Gwen had secured a place in the Women in Art class, along with East Asian Art and Architecture. Lancelot had reluctantly signed up for a painting class, even though he knew how to paint, and painted in his spare time.

Percy and Leon shared a statistics course together, and Arthur had moved onto upper division statistics since he took the other stats course the semester before. Merlin and Leon shared a Theology class, and Percival was in physics.

"You have to help me out," Percival told Merlin.

"No problem," Merlin said, accepting of the fact that he was the go-to for science help.

"Five more months," Morgana said with a sigh.

"Less," Lancelot corrected.

"Then we'd better own this term," Arthur decided.

* * *

Morgana, thus far, was not 'owning' the new term. She had overslept, and Gwen, sweet, punctual Gwen, had dragged her sorry arse out of bed.

"Morgana," Gwen huffed, trying to pull her friend's arms.

"No," Morgana hid her face in the pillow.

Gwen let go of Morgana's arms, and instead threw the covers off of her.

"It's cold!" Morgana complained, all the while wearing her warmest flannel and fuzzy socks.

"You can't miss your first day of class," Gwen said.

"I'm sick," Morgana tried.

"Stop acting like a child and get your butt out of bed," Gwen said in frustration.

Morgana only curled into a little ball, and Gwen sighed.

"I made breakfast. Eggs and toast and coffee," she tried to cajole.

Morgana lifted her head off of the pillow, "And waffles?"

"Yes, and waffles," Gwen said.

"Okay," Morgana sat up and walked over to her wardrobe, tossing a black jumper and jeans onto her bed.

"For the love of God," Gwen muttered, rolling her eyes as she left Morgana's room.

* * *

Breakfast was delicious, as was expected when Gwen was the one cooking. They ate quickly, as they had to be at their respective lectures within the hour.

They left their plates in the sink since they were short on time, and Morgana promised she'd wash them while Gwen was at work. That's how things worked with them: Gwen would cook, Morgana would wash up. They had never explicitly agreed to that arrangement, but it worked.

* * *

January soon transitioned into Febuary, and it was time for Valentine's Day.

Merlin had been agonising over what to get Morgana for a month. He had dragged Gwen to the shops to ask her opinion on possible gift options.

"Whatever you get her, she'll love it," Gwen said soothingly.

It shouldn't have been a surprise, then, that Merlin found her gift in the back room of Gaius's shop. It was old, forgotten, and covered in grime. He cleaned it, and found it was a silver pendant with a triangle in the centre, the lines of silver swirling around. In the middle of the triangle was a small drop of silver. With Gaius's permission, Merlin took it and placed it on a new chain.

Valentine's Day itself was spent mocking the actual holiday. Morgana hated things that forced her to be overly sentimental. She supposed it was due to a bad experience with a long-past Valentine's Day during sixth form. She shuddered whenever she remembered the idiots she used to go to school with.

She hated Uther for trying to set her up with boys from Avalon. The only decent blokes who had gone there were Arthur, Percy, and Leon, anyway. She wouldn't have minded a date or two with Leon, but she thought he was still a pompous jackass back then. Nimueh's low opinion probably influenced her own thinking quite a bit.

Morgana and Merlin spent their first Valentine's Day shagging. They had just gotten together the month before and everything was so new and Morgana just really liked keeping Merlin all to herself.

This year wasn't much different. They were in Morgause's old flat. Merlin cooked while Morgana "helped", ("helped" being code for Morgana snatching tastes of bits of food while Merlin wasn't looking).

Morgana took a spoonful of soup while Merlin cut vegetables for the salad. He turned around, and she looked at him sheepishly.

After dinner, they washed the dishes side-by-side. Morgana washed, and Merlin dried. She made the flow of water from the faucet stronger, splashing Merlin in the process.

"Hey!" he frowned at her.

"Sorry," Morgana said impishly, then splashed more water at him.

"Very mature," Merlin scowled and threw his towel at her.

Morgana stuck her tongue out at him, and he rolled his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her waist, getting her shirt damp. Morgana smiled at him and leaned her head forward to kiss him. He turned his head, and she frowned.

"I got you something," he said quietly.

"What?" she narrowed her eyes.

He let go of her and rummaged through his bookbag for her gift.

"I thought we agreed on no presents," Morgana took the small bag from him.

"Open it," Merlin said.

Morgana complied, and let out a little gasp. It was a silver pendant on a chain, and she felt like she'd seen it somewhere.

"I found it in the back room at Gaius's. I know it's not much—"

"I love it," Morgana interrupted, hugging Merlin.

He breathed a sigh of relief and Morgana pulled away. She turned away from him and he clasped the necklace around her neck.

"It's perfect," she said.

"You're perfect," Merlin said quietly, cringing internally at the cheesiness.

Morgana turned around, smiling.

"Enough with the sappiness," she grinned and kissed him hard on the mouth, forgetting all about the dishes.

* * *

Morgana dreaded her weekly dinners with Uther, but she wasn't as annoyed by going to his birthday dinner. The food was always more sumptuous then. Or maybe the wine was stronger.

Arthur had purchased a set of ties, while Morgana had bought him wine and a surprise gift. Arthur had nagged her, asking what it was, and she had replied that he'd know soon enough.

"Please just let me sign the card," Morgana pestered her foster brother as they sat in the café, having some tea before going to the birthday dinner. She had forgotten to get a card to go with the present.

Arthur refused.

Merlin shook his head at Arthur's petulance, "Just let her sign the card."

Morgana flashed a smile at Merlin, and Arthur frowned.

"You're only on her side because she's your girlfriend," Arthur said.

Merlin rolled his eyes, and Morgana groaned.

"You can sign the card, whatever," Arthur relented, finally.

Morgana grinned triumphantly, and Arthur handed her the card and a pen. She wrote a quick note and signed it before handing it back to Arthur. Arthur placed the card in an envelope and mumbled something about needing a drink stronger than tea.

Morgana rolled her eyes, "Didn't Uther's birthdays used to be fun?"

"That's when we thought he was cool for letting us have sips of wine at the table when we were fourteen," Arthur said dryly.

"So long ago," Morgana sounded a bit wistful. She stood and put her coat on, Arthur following suit.

"Have fun," Merlin tried not to smirk.

"If I call you, but if I'm not talking, it means you need to call me back so I can pretend there's an emergency or something," Morgana pecked Merlin on the cheek as she left.

"No problem," he said.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. It wasn't as tense as last year, and their relationship with Uther seemed to be moving forward. Morgana was just relieved she wasn't his daughter.

Uther asked about coursework and their friends, to which Morgana and Arthur replied 'fine'.

"What about that girl you were seeing? Mithian?" Uther asked his son.

"We were never dating," Arthur said uncomfortably, "she said she didn't want a relationship."

"Her loss, then," Uther smiled slightly. He briefly entertained the idea of getting that girl to tell Morgana that relationships were useless because he wasn't ready to be a grandfather yet, but then realised that was ridiculous and that he had nothing to worry about because Morgana was responsible and she was happy with Merlin.

After an extravagant dinner with five courses was over, and they retired to the sitting room for dessert. Arthur immediately gifted his father with the expensive silk ties, ranging from black, to green, to blue, to red. Uther expressed his thanks, and then Morgana piped up.

"My turn," she hefted a heavy-looking bag towards her foster father.

Uther took the bag, wondering if she had gotten him an encyclopaedia. He sifted through the colourful tissue paper and pulled out a DVD boxset of all seven series of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer._

"Thank you," Uther smiled, trying not to laugh.

"Now you can watch your doppelganger train the Slayer and practise magic on a whim," Morgana smiled crookedly.

Arthur stared at his foster sister in disbelief, "You got the Prime Minister _Buffy_?" He too was a fan of the show, and more of a fanboy than he'd care to admit. His father would watch the episodes occasionally, but he never overtly expressed his enjoyment of it. Obviously Morgana had caught onto Uther's opinion quicker than he had.

"It's a good show," Morgana stated simply. He should be thankful she didn't get him the first two series of _Game of Thrones_. That would just be awkward.

"It is a good show," Uther agreed, no longer able to conceal his laughter. He laughed, almost giggling.

Morgana was proud of herself for even thinking of getting the boxset. It was one of her moments of pure genius.

* * *

Lancelot's birthday was celebrated at a pub, and ridiculous amounts of alcohol were involved.

Gwen somehow found herself in the middle of a Merlin and Arthur sandwich. They both had one arm around her, drink in the other hand. Gwen made a face, telling them to move because she couldn't breathe. She noticed Morgana take a picture when it was too late.

Lancelot and Gwaine were at the bar, taking shots.

"You're quite pretty, mate," Gwaine told the birthday boy.

"You're pretty too," Lancelot replied honestly.

Gwaine positively beamed, "I see why Percy had a little crush on you."

"Wait, what?" Lancelot's eyes nearly bugged out.

"Oh yeah. He wanted to get in your pants. Then it was obvious you were straight. That was nice of you."

"Being straight?" Lancelot asked.

"Yeah, man. Th—" Gwaine didn't get a chance to finish as Percival appeared, placing a hand on his boyfriend's arm.

"Gwaine, dance?"

"Of course," Gwaine hopped off of the barstool, pulling Percy to the back of the pub's makeshift dance floor.

"What just happened?" Lancelot asked no one, looking extremely lost and confused.

He took a long drink and Merlin settled himself into Gwaine's abandoned seat. He was tired of Gwen yelling at him. She and Morgana were currently discussing the newest episode of _Doctor Who_ and he didn't want to interrupt as he'd not seen it yet.

"Did Gwaine just hit on you?" Merlin asked, taking a swig of his beer. Gwaine was a flirt, it was known. Percy didn't seem to mind since despite all the flirting, Gwaine was unfailingly loyal.

"This is the oddest birthday party I've had," Lancelot said.

"The twentieth should be a bit odd," Merlin said.

Gwaine returned minutes later, wide smile on his face. He had probably remembered he never finished his sentence.

"Thank you, Lancelot," Gwaine said, grabbed both sides of Lancelot's face, and kissed him quickly on the mouth.

Lancelot remained still, and the entire pub seemed to go silent. Off in the distance, Gwen clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Arthur looked intrigued, Leon was confused, Percival laughed in amusement, and Morgana whooped and hollered.

"What the hell was that?" Lancelot spluttered.

"A kiss. Happy Birthday, and thank you," Gwaine said.

"What did I do?"

"If you weren't straight, Percival would never have considered me. So thanks," Gwaine said before walking back to his boyfriend.

"What the actual fuck just happened?" Merlin sniggered.

"I don't know," Lancelot said, dazed.

"Welp, I guess that's what Gwaine was going to say before Percy dragged him away," Merlin grinned.

"Yeah," Lancelot said slowly. He just wanted to go home and sleep off what he was sure would be a tremendous hangover.

* * *

They were all hung over. It was incredibly unpleasant. Gwen had a splitting headache and she couldn't keep breakfast down.

She had recovered by midday, but Morgana was still feeling ill. The headache of the hangover had disappeared, and now she just felt exactly as she did when she had the stomach flu years ago.

"Morgana, are you okay?" Gwen knocked on the door to the bathroom.

"Fine," Morgana lied, retching.

"Could it be you've caught the flu?" Gwen suggested.

Morgana opened the door, looking pale and sickly.

"I'm not going to class tomorrow," Morgana sniffed. Her throat hurt and she felt congested.

"Merlin called. Apparently Arthur's got whatever you have," Gwen said.

"It's not like it's a genetic predisposition to being susceptible to sickness. We're not actually related," Morgana bit her lip. She remembered how Arthur used to catch colds often as a child, and since she was there, she'd get sick soon after.

Morgana curled up under a blanket on the couch. Gwen mumbled something about making soup and told Morgana to drink a lot of fluids.

"You really should have dressed more warmly," Gwen chided.

"It's hot in the pub," Morgana tried to defend herself.

"Yes, but it's still freezing out," Gwen said from the kitchen.

She opened the fridge and found they were nearly out of vegetables. Gwen took her mobile out to call Merlin, who readily agreed to go to the grocery store. Arthur was apparently in need of soup as well.

Merlin and Gwen would end up spending their day taking care of the sick foster siblings. Perhaps they should just quarantine Morgana and Arthur together in one of the flats and let them be miserable together. Gwen considered it, and called Merlin. He was a bit reluctant to leave Arthur, but it was decided that Gwen, Merlin, and Lancelot would go to the library to do their coursework, leaving Morgana and Arthur in one of the flats.

Gwen moved towards Morgana and pressed her hand to her forehead. Morgana had a fever, that was for sure.

* * *

"I can't believe they've left us," Morgana blew her nose into a tissue.

Arthur was sitting across from her, huddled in a blanket.

"At least they left us soup and tea," Arthur said.

"I guess they don't want to get sick," Morgana said, coughing. She scrambled up off of the couch and ran towards the loo.

"Gross," Arthur muttered as he heard his foster sister retch.

Morgana moved back to the living room and plopped down on the couch. She glared at Arthur.

"What?"

"I blame you for this. I always used to get sick after you. You're like a germ magnet," Morgana said, voice hoarse.

"I was a small baby. It was my immune system," Arthur huffed, trying to defend himself.

Morgana's glare softened. Ygraine had died the day Arthur had been born. Of course he was a weak child. She shouldn't have said anything.

"Besides, you get sick just as often," Arthur pointed out. It was usually during exams because she'd forget that she needed more than a biscuit and cup of tea to function. She'd gotten better about it, though.

"We're both sickly suckers, then," Morgana conceded, picking up a salty cracker.

Arthur nodded in agreement.

* * *

**The necklace is based off of the one Morgana has in series 5. Please review.  
**


	31. Visits

**I apologize for the wait. I'm no longer sick, but it's the pre-finals crunch time here. I have three weeks of classes left, then it's finals week. I'll try to update once a week, but I can't make any guarantees.**

* * *

March had greeted them with rain, and they were almost week away from Merlin's birthday. Morgana was still sick, while Arthur had been right as rain two days after falling ill, just a day ago. Morgana resented Arthur the second he was well enough to leave her to her confinement alone.

"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked.

Morgana answered with a grunt. She was confined to her room, still sick. There were two empty mugs of what once contained tea on her desk, and she wore a hoodie two sizes too large for her, and leggings. Her feet were covered by rainbow coloured socks, and her slippers sat at the foot of her bed.

"I've been better," she mumbled.

Merlin frowned and brushed her dark, tangled hair away from her forehead. At least her fever was gone. Gwen had discreetly informed him of Morgana retching at odd hours of the night, though she was usually fine during the day. Stubborn as she was, Morgana insisted she go to class despite her apparent flu.

"Do you want me to get you more tea?" Merlin asked.

"You have to study," Morgana pursed her lips, "I have the flu, I'm not on my deathbed." She had a book open in front of her in an attempt to study, but Merlin insisted on doting on her.

Merlin's frown deepened, "Arthur's already better."

"Because he's a prat," Morgana grumbled. Arthur probably had a massive hangover, not the flu, anyway.

"I'll be in the living room with Gwen if you need anything," Merlin said finally.

"I have legs. I can make my own bloody tea," she scowled.

Merlin pecked her on the forehead quickly and lifted himself off the bed.

* * *

"She's grumpier than usual," Merlin said in slight amusement.

Gwen had just exited the bathroom and looked startled. She quickly hid her hand behind her back and backed away towards the kitchen. She discreetly opened a drawer and deposited whatever was in her hand.

"She should be fine in a couple of days," Gwen said.

Merlin raised a brow at Gwen's odd behaviour, but didn't mention anything. She returned to the living room and sat down, swiftly picking up her textbook.

After twenty minutes spent reading in silence, Morgana threw the door open and ran to the loo.

Merlin looked at Gwen in concern, and Gwen shook her head. She stood and went to soothe Morgana, leaving a confused Merlin behind.

* * *

Morgana was crouched in front of the toilet, arms wrapped around her knees. She looked a mess. Gwen sank down next to her and wrapped her arms around Morgana in comfort.

"It's not just the flu, is it?" Gwen asked gently.

Morgana looked at Gwen with wide, terrified eyes.

"I'm late," she said softly, not wanting Merlin to hear. She had been so good about taking her pills, and Merlin used a condom, more often than not. They weren't ready to be parents, to be responsible for another human being. Hell, they were barely learning how to take care of themselves.

"I saw the pregnancy test," Gwen said.

"I haven't taken it yet. I'm scared, Gwen," Morgana confided.

"No matter what happens, you can count on me," Gwen promised.

Morgana smiled weakly, "I know."

* * *

Merlin knocked on the door to Morgana's flat days later. She had gone to class looking pale and tired, and had avoided him. She didn't respond to any of his calls or messages, and she actively avoided going to the café or pub. He wanted to know what was wrong, what he'd done wrong.

Morgana finally opened the door, eyes red and puffy as if she'd just been crying.

"Hi," she greeted.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked immediately. His frustration at her avoidance faded immediately as he saw the state she was in.

"You're going to hate me," Morgana said, moving aside so Merlin could enter the flat.

"I could never hate you," Merlin looked bewildered that she could even say such a thing.

Morgana shut the door and kept her hand on the doorknob. She couldn't even look at Merlin, let alone talk to him.

"Morgana?" Merlin was more than worried now.

Her shoulders began to shake.

"I've missed my period," Morgana bit her lip. She hadn't gotten her period in February, nor now that it was March.

Merlin said nothing, and Morgana turned to face him fearfully. Would he yell? Rage? Leave?

"We're going to have a baby?" Merlin asked quietly.

Morgana let herself nod, ever so slightly. She wasn't sure yet. She was too afraid to take the pregnancy test, "Maybe."

Merlin smiled and crossed the room to hug her. Morgana wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close. She let out a cry of relief, and he kissed her hair.

"You're not upset?" she asked.

"Of course not. I'm worried I'm going to be a shit dad," Merlin laughed softly.

"You'd be a great dad," Morgana sighed into his chest, remembering the dream she had about the little girl, their little girl.

Merlin pulled away from her, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Morgana let a smile cross her features.

"Marry me, then," Merlin said, biting his lip.

"We're not even twenty," Morgana sputtered, blurting out the only argument she could think of.

"No, but we made a baby," Merlin said. He mentally added 'maybe'.

Morgana stepped away from him, shaking her head.

"I won't marry you if you're asking only for the baby," Morgana said, self-consciously wrapping her arms around her still flat stomach.

"I asked you once before," Merlin said numbly, feeling like all the air from his lungs had been removed with her rejection.

"We were drunk," Morgana laughed bitterly. The only time he asked her was when drunk or facing parenthood.

"I love you, Morgana. More than anything. Don't you know that?" Merlin asked.

Morgana looked down, "I haven't even taken the pregnancy test yet. We'll talk when we know for sure."

She left the room to the bathroom, presumably to take the test. She came out a minute later.

"Now what?" Merlin asked.

"We wait," Morgana blinked back tears. She wanted to say 'yes' to his proposal, but she couldn't. They couldn't tie themselves down so young. Maybe they already had and she was being ridiculous, but something wasn't right.

Merlin ran a hand through his hair and then crossed his arms over his chest. Morgana looked up at him from the couch and licked her lips nervously.

"In any other circumstance, I would've said yes in a heartbeat," Morgana said softly.

"Sometimes I don't even know why you're with me," Merlin shook his head.

"Because I love you, you idiot," Morgana frowned. Did he really doubt how much she loved him?

Merlin looked at her and tried to hide his disbelief. Even after a year, he sometimes thought he was dreaming, surprised to wake up and find her sleeping peacefully beside him.

Morgana got up and went back to the bathroom. She returned with the pregnancy test in hand.

"It's negative," she said blankly. She felt strangely numb and empty. She had been so sure she was pregnant. All the signs pointed to her having more than a touch of the flu.

"Oh," was all Merlin could say.

Without warning, tears welled in her eyes and she clutched at her belly, mourning for what could have been. Her and Merlin could've had a child, and she wondered if it was her reluctance that made it all disappear. They could've had a family, a life together, and it vanished into thin air. They wouldn't have a little dark haired girl running around playing knights, after all. So she did have the flu. That explained why her nausea had disappeared nearly two weeks after first thinking she had caught the flu.

She sank down on the couch, crying for the child that never was.

Merlin was startled by her reaction and slowly walked over to her, sitting down. He placed his hand on her shoulder. He thought she would've been relieved, not distraught.

"I'd make a horrible mother anyway," Morgana tried to calm herself.

"No, you'd be brilliant," Merlin murmured.

She looked at him with watery eyes, "I was so scared, but now…I'd imagined raising her,"

"Shh," Merlin rubbed her shoulder and she heaved, trying not to cry.

She turned to look at Merlin and wrapped her arms around him. He did the same, kissing her softly.

"I want to marry you," Morgana mumbled into the crook of his neck.

"But," Merlin said, waiting for the rest of her sentence.

"But nothing," Morgana said, her green eyes boring into his blue ones.

"Really?" Merlin asked.

"Really," Morgana nodded.

Merlin pressed his lips against hers, and she returned the kiss.

"I'm going to have to ask you properly one of these days, so be ready for it," Merlin said.

Morgana smiled, "I will be."

* * *

The ring was beautiful, an emerald on a silver band. They had been in the tree house, long legs dangling off the edge, when he had asked. She had smiled and nodded in agreement, too overcome with joy to speak. She wanted to smack him upside the head, though, because it was too much. He didn't have that kind of money. She would've been happy with a piece of string, really.

She then dragged him to the oldest tree in the yard, near where her parents would take her to impromptu picnics.

Morgana leaned against Merlin's shoulder as they sat in the yard, surrounded by the just-blooming flowers.

Somehow, it felt right to be amongst the flowers and trees, especially while winter began to melt away into spring. They weren't consciously aware of what led them to exchange vows that came from the top of their heads in front of that tree, but it felt like the right way to go about it. They had been meant to do this, and now they did.

"I promise to be with you. Always," Merlin told her, voice hoarse.

She smiled brightly and cupped his cheek with her hand.

"And I promise to never let you go. Ever," Morgana smiled at him.

He kissed her chastely in front of the tree, Morgana eagerly returning the kiss. Merlin pulled away, self-conscious.

"It's not like the tree's watching," Morgana said in amusement.

"You're right," Merlin chuckled.

He briefly wondered what his mother would think of this impromptu, most definitely not Catholic, and not legally binding ceremony. In the end, it didn't matter. He and Morgana were together and always would be.

An hour later, upon re-entering the manor, Mrs Gibbons dropped the tray of tea she was holding, and had embraced Morgana, for she had noticed the glistening ring immediately.

* * *

Something was different, but Arthur couldn't quite place his finger on it. Merlin and Morgana were more subdued than usual, quieter. Merlin had refused a birthday celebration, and instead he and Morgana went away for the weekend. Not even Gwen knew where they were, but she ventured a guess and thought they might be in Ireland.

Now even at Arthur's birthday celebration they sat close together, looking at each other lovingly, as if the rest of the world didn't exist. He had noticed the ring on Morgana's finger but didn't want to pry. Before their weekly dinners with Uther, she'd carefully slip the ring into her purse.

Arthur had requested a quiet affair for his twentieth birthday from Uther, who grudgingly agreed. He wanted his children to be happy, and if a quiet party was what he wanted, that's what he'd get.

Regarding his foster sister's secrecy, Arthur tried to get information from Gwen, who denied her knowledge of anything. She always looked quite distressed when he asked her anything, so he figured she must know _something_.

Lancelot was acting a bit strange, too. Arthur didn't even consider it had something to do with Elaine, Gwaine's pretty younger sister who had come to visit and had been invited to the party, and who left Lancelot speechless and blushing.

Gwen had narrowed her eyes at Elaine as Lancelot stammered dumbly while trying to talk to her, only to be saved by Merlin's polite inquiries. That was the only time the entire evening his attention diverted from Morgana, even for a second. She'd never known Lancelot to be so shy. Yes, he was always quiet and reserved, but he was positively boyish around Gwaine's sister. She could understand why. Elaine had large hazel eyes and chocolate coloured hair that curled at the ends, she was tall, just a bit shorter than Gwaine, and had a bright smile. She was just as flirtatious as her older brother, batting her lashes and offering teasing grins. Morgana had looked at Gwen in concern as Lancelot stumbled over pleasantries.

Gwen tried to ignore it. She and Lancelot had broken up months ago. She had no claim over him. So she found herself taking long sips of beer at the bar while Lancelot and Elaine sat a few tables away, conversing enthusiastically.

Arthur slipped into the seat next to her and called Gwaine over.

"Vodka?" he asked Arthur knowingly.

"Yep," Arthur said, glancing at Gwen, "and a whisky."

Gwen raised a brow but took the drink nonetheless.

Gwaine glanced at the table where his sister and Lancelot sat, jaw clenched. Elaine was far too bubbly for her own good. She grinned at something Lancelot said and flipped her shiny hair back. Gwen downed her drink quickly.

Arthur looked at Gwaine, "Cheer up, mate. You've already kissed him."

Gwaine cracked a smile and even Gwen tried to mask her grin.

"I worry about her sometimes. Comes with being an older brother," Gwaine shrugged. Lancelot was a nice bloke, at least.

Arthur nodded in understanding. Morgana may not be his sister by blood, but he considered her to be more than a foster sister. Gwen understood, too. Elyan was always so overprotective.

Elaine let out a loud laugh and snort, and Lancelot's cheeks flushed. Gwen took a shot of whisky and Arthur smiled softly.

"C'mon," he said.

"What?"

"It's my turn to cheer you up at a party," he stood, and she followed suit, trying not to smile.

* * *

They had donned their jackets and wandered outside for fresh air, leaving their friends behind.

"You should be inside enjoying yourself. It's your party," Gwen said as they sat themselves on a bench.

"It's my party and I'll do what I want. I am enjoying myself, by the way," Arthur said.

Gwen smiled, shaking her head. She bit her lip and looked at the sky.

"I didn't think Lancelot would move on so quickly," Gwen admitted. Elena would be upset, no doubt, though the pair never got past their first date.

"Do you still love him?"

"I always will, but we're friends," Gwen shrugged, "It's the familiarity I miss most."

Arthur nodded in understanding. Some strange flicker of emotion flashed across his face before he frowned.

"What?"

"What's going on with Morgana?"

His blue eyes were wide and worried. Why Merlin was so attentive, more than usual? Was she sick?

"It's not my place to say," Gwen said, looking down. Morgana had told her it was a false alarm, but told her not to mention a word to anyone, lest they worry.

The hurt in Arthur's eyes was evident, "I see."

"She would have told you if she was…you know, pregnant," Gwen tried, feeling extremely guilty. She felt terrible, trying to keep Morgana's secret from her family, but she felt terrible telling Arthur, too.

"I could've been an uncle," he ran a hand over his face, now understanding why both Morgana and Merlin seemed so withdrawn and in their own little bubble. Why they had presumably spirited themselves away to Morgana's childhood home.

"I came home to find them crying on the couch. I thought maybe she was pregnant," Gwen blinked rapidly, "but she wasn't and she cried for so long."

"They wanted a baby?" Arthur looked at her with wide blue eyes.

"I don't know. It probably wasn't the ideal timing, but they would've kept it if she was," Gwen squirmed under his gaze.

"Of course they would've kept it. They'd be great parents, surprise or not," Arthur frowned.

Gwen placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, "Morgana asked me not to tell anyone so they won't worry for no reason."

"I get it," he offered a weak smile.

Gwen instinctively wrapped her arms around Arthur into a comforting hug. It was what friends did, after all. A friendly, platonic hug that lasted exactly nine seconds, and no Gwen wasn't counting.

* * *

"Where'd you and my dear foster brother disappear to?" Morgana asked later that night as she sipped some cola. Merlin finally left her side and gone with Arthur, Leon and Percival to the bar, while Gwaine had wedged himself between Elaine and Lancelot.

"Outside," Gwen said simply.

Morgana raised a brow. She wouldn't pry, despite her curiosity. After all, she was keeping mum about her and Merlin's 'wedding'. As far as she was concerned, she and Merlin were married. They didn't need a stupid piece of paper, but it would have been nice to have their friends there. After they graduated, they could plan a party and go to city hall to make it official, unless Merlin wanted a church wedding. She didn't mind either way.

Gwen's attention turned to Lancelot's soft laughter as Elaine enthusiastically described Gwaine's terrible attempts at driving.

"You miss him," Morgana stated the obvious.

"We're going to make this being friends thing work," she said stubbornly.

She turned back around and Arthur caught her eye from across the pub. She smiled softly before looking at the table. Morgana turned and saw her foster brother, who had turned a light shade of pink.

"No," Morgana shook her head.

"What?" Gwen squeaked innocently.

"You fancy Arthur," Morgana hissed quietly so no one would hear.

"I do not," Gwen protested.

"Uh, yeah, you do," Morgana said, unsure if she should be amused or terrified that her best friend had fallen for Arthur's charms.

"Morgana, please. We have nothing in common," Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Only video games," Morgana smirked.

"Think what you want," Gwen said, taking a sip of her drink.

"I will," Morgana answered.

* * *

It was time for the Easter holidays, and as promised, Will and Freya had arrived. Will had been in a sour mood, most likely due to the lack of Arianne's presence. Freya teased him mercilessly.

Neither of them mentioned the pretty ring on Morgana's finger. Will merely clapped Merlin on the shoulder, blue eyes twinkling, and Freya hugged Morgana tightly, muttering about how romantic it all was. Morgana smiled at Freya and quietly asked her that once there was a proper wedding, if there was to be one, if she'd be a bridesmaid. Her and Gwen, and maybe Morgause, Morgana had already decided.

"I'd be honoured," Freya smiled.

She knew Merlin and Morgana's circle of friends in London already. Will seemed to take to them as easily as Freya did. Everyone seemed to agree that Will was easygoing and lovely to be around, everyone, that is, except for Arthur.

Morgana said nothing as she watched Arthur glare at Will. He acted the same way with Lancelot at times, whenever it seemed that Merlin was closer with someone other than him.

Merlin was closer to Will than to Arthur. They had grown up together. Will knew about the ring, whereas Arthur had been left in the dark. Merlin had asked Will if he thought an emerald would suit Morgana more than a diamond, and Will had told him she would love either, but to go with the emerald as he planned. Will was Merlin's confidante, and when Will wasn't there, Lancelot fell into the role more often than Arthur did. Arthur was aware of this, but he didn't have to like it.

Somewhere in the course of the past year and a half, almost two years, Merlin became Arthur's best friend while Leon remained Arthur's childhood best friend. Leon had always been a bit closer to Percy, anyway. But Merlin's childhood best friend had remained his best friend into adulthood. Now he had two best friends, three, if Freya was included, a fiancée where Morgana was concerned, Gwen as the first friend he made in London, and no place for Arthur in his inner circle. Hell, he was pretty close to Gwaine, though they only saw each other at the pub and at parties. Arthur chalked it up to them both being Irish and away from home, but it still hurt.

He was Arthur Pendragon, son of the Prime Minister, and Merlin's girlfriend's foster brother, his flatmate, and nothing more. Arthur thought of Merlin as his best friend, but it was clear Merlin didn't feel the same way, especially as he grinned goofily while talking to Will, as if they'd never left their hometown.

They were gathered in the café, rain pouring outside. Will sat next to Merlin, Morgana on his other side. Next to Will were Freya and Lancelot, who seemed to be getting on well. Gwen was on her break, and sat next to Morgana, Arthur next to her so that he was next to Gwen, a buffer between the two exes. Gwaine wasn't there, probably still asleep as he had closed up the pub the night before. Percy was probably with him. Leon had gone offered to drive Mithian home for Easter, so they set off early that morning, though it was still Thursday.

_Clever boy_, Morgana had thought when Mithian told her Leon had been kind enough to drive her to her parents' home. He would meet her parents and undoubtedly charm them, and her, in one fell swoop. Mithian was already letting her guard down around him, if her smiles when she thought no one was looking were any indication.

Merlin was currently mercilessly teasing Will about the small but tough Arianne.

"Shut up," Will rolled his eyes. He missed Ari, yes, but they were friends, nothing more.

"Oh, you shut up. You were half in love with her the day you met her," Freya recalled.

"I was not," he grumbled.

"You helped her move into her flat, and she bossed you around for hours, and you said—"

"I know, I know. _How can someone so small be such a pain in my arse_," Will rolled his eyes again.

"She called you stupid and you were a goner," Freya grinned childishly.

Will glared and Lancelot tried to hide a laugh.

"Oi, not you too. Freya somehow gets everyone to turn on me," Will pouted.

Merlin snorted, knowing full well that all Freya had to do was bat her large brown eyes at someone and she would get what she wanted.

"Hey," Freya scowled at Merlin, "Morgana, shush him will you?"

"Shush," Morgana told Merlin with a small smile.

"As you command," he smiled back.

"Oh, you two make me sick," Will teased.

"That's how you and Ari look at each other," Freya pointed out.

"Really?" Will turned to her, suddenly serious.

Freya nodded, "You're not imagining things, my friend. Tell her before Ed does."

"Ed? From class?" Will's eyes hardened.

"His family's friends with hers. And you know how those rich families are, no offence," she turned to Arthur suddenly.

"None taken," he smiled at the girl.

"Ed? Really?" Will looked distressed.

"She likes you, dumbo," she was sick of Will's stubbornness.

"You should tell her," Lancelot said quietly, "better to try and fail than never know."

Gwen looked at Lancelot and nodded in agreement, "It's true."

Will looked uncomfortable at the topic of conversation and looked to Freya.

"Clark likes you," Will countered.

"He has a girlfriend," Freya said. She had been in Armagh one weekend after a terrible meeting with her parents, and had gone to Clark's to see if he wanted to grab a cup of tea. She had a key to the building she needed to return, anyway. When she knocked on the door of Clark's flat, she was startled to find a redhead open the door, wearing one of Clark's shirts and shorts.

"Sorry, this is a bad time," Freya squeaked, stumbling over her words.

Before the girl could say anything, Freya bolted towards the lifts, not letting herself cry. She was stupid. Clark was older than she was, anyway. What would he want with her? She looked like a child compared to the ginger woman.

"Sorry," Will said, placing a hand on Freya's.

"Don't give Ed the chance, call her, now," Freya directed. Will nodded hesitantly and excused himself, going outside. Merlin gave him a reassuring nod and a smile, and Will seemed all the more confident.

Arthur watched in awe at the friends who could communicate with little looks and gentle words. He truly felt an outsider with Will and Freya around. Lancelot and Gwen didn't seem to be affected by their presence at all, as if they were always in London. Morgana had spent more time with them than anyone else, save Merlin, so she was integrated into the group as well. How was it that he was the only one who felt like a third wheel?

* * *

** Everything is falling into place. There's more Arthur/Gwen to come. Please review.  
**


	32. Kiss and Tells

**This will probably be the last chapter for two weeks. Finals are coming. Thank you for reading! Warning: There's a bit more swearing in this chapter than others.  
**

* * *

**Kiss and Tells  
**

Arthur Pendragon's feelings of loneliness and third-wheel status didn't fade as Will's and Freya's visit wore on.

Leon had ended up calling and breathlessly telling him that Mithian's parents insisted he stay for Easter, and that his own parents were vacationing in Italy anyway. Arthur had laughed and wished him luck with his wooing.

Gwaine and Percival had joined their group on-and-off, and at first Will had been in awe of Percy's height, but then found him to be one of the gentlest souls he'd met. Will was in a more chipper mood now that he'd called Arianne and told her he had something important to tell her when he returned. She had called him stupid and told him to tell her then and there, over the phone. He said it had to wait, and for her not to date Ed.

"_Ed?" Arianne scowled, "why the fuck would I date Ed, stupid?"_

Will had nearly shouted that he fancied her in his relief, but contained his excitement. He told her he'd tell her everything when he got home, and that he missed her. She grumbled in annoyance before admitting he missed him too. And Freya, she had added as an afterthought.

Now they were in the pub, drinking, which is what they did best. While everyone laughed at Freya's tale of how she had to constantly save Will and Merlin from detention all those years ago, Arthur sat at the table, arms crossed over his chest.

Morgana sent a subtle glare to Arthur, as if trying to force him into being cheery. Arthur raised a brow and Morgana frowned at him and tilted her head towards Will. It would do well for them to try to get along. Will cracked a few jokes about Uther and his reign, and he was wary of those from wealthy families, though he accepted Morgana as a friend easily enough.

Arthur offered to go to the bar to bring more drinks, and Freya went with him to help.

"He doesn't hate you, you know," Freya said as Gwaine set the drinks in front of them.

"I find that hard to believe," he smiled wryly.

"He's just afraid you tolerate Merlin for Morgana's sake. That you don't actually want to be his friend," Freya shrugged as if it meant nothing.

"I consider Merlin to be a friend. I'm not sure he does," Arthur replied, sounding a bit sour.

Gwaine hid a snort as he set more bottles in front of them, and remained silent. Freya glanced at Gwaine, who winked at her.

"Percy's right there," she pointed out.

"Ah, but you're a pretty Irish lass," Gwaine grinned.

"And you're gay," Freya reminded him.

Gwaine tossed his head back and laughed, "Touche."

Arthur rolled his eyes, and Freya turned her attention back to him.

"Merlin considers you a friend, never doubt that. He's loyal to a fault," she set her mouth in a thin line, annoyed that Arthur was so daft.

"I know," Arthur nodded.

"Good. Now try to make nice with Will. You not talking makes it seem like you hate everyone," Freya ordered, and Arthur thought she sounded a bit like Morgana when she was in a bossy mood.

They returned to their table and set the drinks in front of their friends. Morgana's head was resting on Merlin's shoulder, Will and Lancelot were talking animatedly about Lancelot's interest in painting, while Will shared that he took a sculpting class and really liked it.

"Those candle holders looked like balls," Freya said as she sat down next to Will.

"Hey," Will said, insulted.

"I speak the truth. Tiny, little balls," Freya smirked as Will turned red.

"I don't even want to know when you had the opportunity to see Will's balls," Morgana said.

Merlin cringed, and Morgana's eyes widened.

"No," she looked at her fiancé accusingly.

Freya smiled sweetly at Morgana, "They weren't very fond of a thing called trousers as youngsters."

Morgana cackled, Lancelot snorted, Gwen blushed, Percy hid his laugh behind his hand, and even Arthur barked out a laugh.

"My mum used to put a small pool out in the yard in the summer," Will started, embarrassed.

"And these two idiots took it as an invitation to run around naked," Freya finished for him.

"I never knew you were a nudist," Morgana teased Merlin.

"Shut up," Merlin grumbled good-naturedly.

"Any more stories, Freya?" Arthur asked interestedly.

Gwen arched her eyebrow, wondering when Arthur and Freya had gotten so friendly. Surely a short walk to get more drinks didn't turn them into best friends.

"Tonnes," she smiled brightly while Arthur leaned forward, as if to listen better.

Gwen felt her stomach tighten for no reason. She was imagining the way Arthur had brightened after his conversation with Freya. And even if she did cheer him up, it wasn't her business anyway. Arthur Pendragon did not belong to her.

Lancelot apparently noticed her discomfort and smiled softly. She relaxed, thankful that Lancelot was still her friend.

"Freya," Will whined as a brother would to his sister.

"How 'bout we tell embarrassing stories about you, huh?" Merlin challenged.

"Like what?" Freya asked.

"You used to think kissing could get girls pregnant," Will pointed out.

"And that time your mum found you smoking," Merlin smirked.

"That was all your fault," Freya pointed at Merlin in accusation, "I just wanted to try it and felt ill for days."

"I was corrupting you, apparently," Merlin shrugged.

"Pfft," Freya scoffed, "As if you could."

"Says the girl who thought kissing leads to pregnancy," Will snorted.

"Well if you do it right, it could," Arthur pointed out.

Freya grinned at him, and Will laughed. Gwen looked at Arthur in shock, Morgana tried not to spit out her drink, Merlin smiled and shook his head, while Lancelot and Percy exchanged amused glances.

"Do you have any experience with that, Mr Pendragon?" Freya asked.

"The kissing, yes," Arthur replied, feeling much better than he had the past few weeks.

"Oy!" Will said, "stop flirting."

"I can flirt with whoever I want," Freya scowled.

"Clark," Will tried to point out.

"Has a girlfriend," Freya said harshly, remembering the redhead who opened the door.

Will sputtered nonsensically, and Merlin shook his head.

* * *

After calling it a night, Gwen, Morgana, and Freya took a cab to the girl's dormitories, while Lancelot, Merlin, Arthur, and Will went to the boys'. Percy had stayed behind to help Gwaine 'close', but that was code for 'snog'.

Lancelot had immediately gone to sleep after mentioning something about Elaine coming for another visit. Merlin had teased him mercilessly about his blushing, but Lancelot shrugged it off.

While Will settled himself on the couch to sleep, Arthur made himself a midnight snack and Merlin crossed his arms sternly.

Arthur brought the sandwich up to his mouth, then noticed Will and Merlin's glares.

"What?" he asked.

"If you hurt her, I will not hesitate to hurt you, Morgana's foster brother or not," Merlin said seriously.

"Since I'm not dating Morgana, I can assure you I will kill you if you hurt Freya," Will said with false cheer in his voice.

"It was harmless flirting," Arthur said slowly.

"She fancies Clark, so let's hope it's just that," Will scowled.

Arthur didn't know who Clark was, but he hoped he knew what an idiot he was for not liking Freya.

As if Merlin read his mind, he said, "Clark fancies her, too. He's far too honourable to try anything though because of the age difference."

"Age difference?" Arthur's interest was piqued.

"Barely five years," Will waved it off as if it was nothing. Clark was Arianne's favourite brother, and he trusted him. Arthur Pendragon was known to be a flirt and have a new girl on his arm every other week. He didn't trust him, not yet.

"I'm not interested in dating Freya, promise," Arthur said finally.

"Good," Merlin's eyes flashed with relief, and Arthur wondered Merlin was simply a man concerned for one of his oldest friends, or an ex-boyfriend unwilling to see his ex move on.

Arthur knew Merlin loved Morgana. That much was obvious. But he'd loved Freya once, too. It was only natural for him to be concerned for the girl he was so close to.

* * *

Freya settled herself onto the couch, ready to go to sleep. Morgana took a glass of water from the kitchen just as Gwen exited the loo. The three girls shared glances, and Morgana finally spoke.

"So, Arthur?"

Freya shrugged, "It was just flirting. I needed a good flirt."

"What happened with Clark?" Morgana asked with a gentler tone.

Freya sighed, "I really thought he liked me back."

"I've seen the way he looks at you," Morgana sat down next to Freya, while Gwen was out-of-the-loop, "as if you're the best thing on the planet."

Freya snorted.

"Truly. Didn't you notice how tense he was during that thing with Steve?"

"Everyone was tense," Freya mumbled.

"He wanted to kill him," Morgana pointed out.

"We all did," Freya argued.

"Will and Merlin have known you for more than a decade. You're Arianne's only female friend. What's Clark to you that he was shaking in anger?"

Gwen thought this was a good time for her to retire to her room. She felt uneasy listening to this conversation. There were some things she didn't know and she was okay with that. Freya had been far more subdued her first visit, and she suspected this ex-boyfriend had something to do with it. The more outgoing Freya, flirty and all, was much happier, even if she was flirting with Arthur.

"He wasn't," Freya denied.

"Freya, he was as much of a wreck as you were," Morgana bit her lip, "he just held it all in."

"He's a friend," she shrugged.

"A friend who's in love with you," Morgana said bluntly.

"No," Freya shook her head, "he's not. He has a girlfriend, and I won't interfere."

Morgana smiled softly and placed a hand on Freya's shoulder, "You can't do that to yourself forever."

"Do what?"

Morgana shook her head, "Good night."

* * *

Gwen nibbled at some toast while Morgana sipped her coffee, thoughtful expression on her face. Freya was currently taking a shower, leaving the two flatmates to start breakfast without her.

"Morgana?" Gwen said, wondering what Morgana was thinking about.

"How do you feel about Arthur?"

"He's my friend," Gwen said dumbly.

"Stupid. You're all so stupid. Freya with Clark, you with Arthur," Morgana groaned, "at least Will called Ari and hopefully won't chicken out."

"What's happened?" Gwen asked, concerned upon noting the wild look in Morgana's eyes.

"I just had a bad dream is all," Morgana said, taking another sip.

"Morgana?" Gwen was worried now.

"It's nothing. Just tell Arthur if you like him. He's too daft to do anything," Morgana said, biting her lip.

She had a dream, of Gwen's coronation as queen. It wasn't as unpleasant as some others, nor was it as lovely of her dreams of Merlin holding her in the middle of the night, giggling and shushing each other whenever footsteps sounded near her chambers.

"I don't fancy him," Gwen said stubbornly.

Morgana rolled her eyes, wondering when her friends were going to stop being so blind.

* * *

Freya and Will went back to Belfast, leaving the flat strangely empty.

"It was nice having Freya around," Gwen said as she flipped through a textbook.

"Yeah," Morgana nodded, wondering what it would be like if she, Gwen, Freya, and Arianne shared a flat. Madness would ensue, surely.

"Too bad Arthur never got that date," Gwen said easily.

Morgana fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Freya's too in love with another man. An actual man, not my pretty-boy foster brother."

"What does he look like?" Gwen asked, curious.

"He looks like Ari. Dark hair, grey eyes. He's got scars he won't talk about," Morgana shrugged, forgetting that Gwen had never met Arianne.

"Huh," Gwen said. It sounded like Freya had a type, and Arthur certainly wasn't it. She felt relieved, for some reason.

* * *

Gwen Smith did not cry easily. She cried when her mother died. She cried when her grandfather died. She cried when her family moved into a smaller house because they couldn't afford to stay in their own neighbourhood. Never had she cried, out and out cried, over a man before. Yes she'd gotten worked up over Lancelot before, and she had a good cry after their breakup, but that was it. She tried to put Lancelot out of her mind. But seeing him daily, speaking with him, it was as if not much had changed.

Perhaps part of her thought that the breakup meant little as they still hung out and remained close, minus the kissing. Neither of them had actually dated anyone else, either. Until now, that is.

So when Gwen saw Elaine and Lancelot in a compromising permission, she froze. Elaine had somehow pushed Lancelot against the wall of the pub, and her hands were fisted around his shirt. Lancelot's hands rested on her waist, head bent low to reach her lips. She stood on her toes, pushing herself closer to him.

Gwen's hand flew to her mouth to conceal a gasp. She ran into the pub, her other hand clutching her jean jacket closer to her. She looked around maniacally for Morgana, or even Merlin. They weren't there, and she figured they must've left already. Gwaine was at the bar, serving customers, and she didn't want to bother him with his little sister's behaviour.

"Gwen?" came a voice from behind her. She turned around to see Arthur sitting at a table alone, mobile in hand.

"Hi," she said weakly.

"What's the matter?" Arthur asked at once.

Gwen shook her head, "It's nothing."

Arthur stood, left money on the table for his drink, and practically pulled Gwen out of the pub to talk. She closed her eyes when she caught sight of Lancelot and Elaine, still snogging. Arthur noticed, and he looked shocked.

"Oh, Gwen, I'm so sorry," Arthur said.

Gwen kept walking, Arthur half a step behind her.

"We've broken up. Doesn't matter to me," she said tensely.

"Obviously it does," Arthur said bluntly.

Gwen turned to face him, a look of anger and loss clear on her face.

"Arthur, please," she said, not finishing her sentence.

Arthur took her hand in his and led her to the crosswalk.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"You need chocolate and tea," he said. Gwen tried to smile at that.

* * *

"So this is where the elite of your school went, huh?" Gwen asked as she took a bite of chocolate cake.

They were in a small café she'd never been to. It was quite a ways away from the university. They had taken the Tube.

Arthur snorted, "No. More like the freaks went here. Morgana swears they have the best cake."

Gwen bristled at the thought of Morgana being called a freak, "It's delicious, and Morgana's not—"

"I know she's not. She was just a bit of a loner until she met you," Arthur shrugged.

Gwen smiled softly, "Thank you for doing this, Arthur. But I'm fine, really."

"You were near tears," Arthur pointed out.

"I thought maybe after a few months apart, we'd get together again…I was stupid," Gwen looked down at the table.

Arthur reached across the table and patted her hand. Her fingers twitched. He pulled away all too quickly. Gwen wiped at her face, having realised she was, in fact, crying. Gwen Smith was in a small little café with Arthur Pendragon, crying over her ex-boyfriend. What had become of her life?

"Do you want me to hit him?" Arthur asked, trying to make her laugh. Instead, she looked pained.

"No. Of course not. He deserves to be happy. I'm glad he's moved on. I should do the same," she said, trying to sound sure of herself.

"Any idea of where to start?" Arthur asked jokingly as he picked up his cup of tea.

"Leon's nice," she said thoughtfully, causing Arthur to spit out his drink.

"Leon. Right," Arthur said bitterly, startling her.

Gwen regarded him strangely, and bit her lip. Her shoulders shook, and she started to cry once more.

"Gwen, please don't cry, I didn't mean to sound so rude," he could practically kick himself.

She pushed her cake away and stood, "If you don't mind, I'm going to go home."

She dug through her purse for money, and Arthur stopped it.

"It's on me," he said.

"Thanks," Gwen offered a sad smile, then walked out the door.

It took Arthur all of five seconds before placing the money for the cake and tea on the table before rushing out the door after her.

"Gwen!" he shouted to get her attention.

She turned around, confused. Arthur moved towards her, jaw clenched.

"Lancelot's an idiot. And if you want to date Leon, you should," Arthur said.

"He's not an idiot, but thank you. And I don't want to date Leon," she sighed.

"Oh," Arthur said.

"Look, you've been really nice, and thank you, but I need to go home and feel sorry for myself now," she steeled herself.

"You're wonderful, Guinevere," Arthur said.

"I told you. It's Gwen," she wrinkled her nose.

"Let me at least walk with you," Arthur said.

She conceded, "Fine."

They walked in relative silence, save for a few sniffles from Gwen. She was acting like a silly girl, in front of Arthur of all people. She wanted to crawl under a blanket and never leave.

* * *

Gwen flitted about the kitchen, putting on a kettle of tea, despite having just come from a café.

"Gwen, sit down," Arthur rolled his eyes.

Gwen looked at him, "I need to distract myself. I'm not a fan of crying in the presence of company."

"You can cry. I'm your friend," Arthur said gently.

Gwen flopped onto the couch next to Arthur and buried her head in her hands. Arthur wrapped his arm around her shoulder and Gwen leaned into him.

"I thought he was it, y'know? The one?" she cried into his chest.

Arthur patted her back awkwardly as Gwen held onto his shirt. Her hair smelled nice, but he probably shouldn't be focusing on that at the moment. He didn't know what to say.

"Who ends up with the first person they date, anyway?" she laughed bitterly.

Arthur pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her head as he might have done with Morgana. But he didn't feel brotherly at all. It was wrong to think of his actions as brotherly when he felt everything towards her but that.

Gwen wrapped her arms around him in a hug and took a deep breath. She didn't let go for twenty-three seconds. Yes, she was counting.

She finally pulled away, eyes red and teary.

"I messed up your shirt," she frowned at the tear stains on Arthur's red top.

"It's fine," Arthur said reassuringly.

Gwen looked down and Arthur gently lifted her chin up, "You deserve to be happy, Gwen."

She blinked rapidly and scooted herself closer to Arthur, as if it were possible to sit closer to him. Without warning, she lightly brushed her fingers across his cheek before pressing her lips to his.

Arthur wrapped his arms around her, kissing back eagerly. It was the second-best kiss he'd had, the first being the kiss they had shared under the mistletoe. Gwen suddenly pulled away, just as abrupt as it had begun.

"Oh no," she mumbled.

"I am so sorry," Arthur stuttered. She was heartbroken and he'd taken advantage of that.

"Don't you dare apologise," she glared at him.

"Sorry," he said, earning an annoyed look.

"I shouldn't have done that. I should be sorry. You don't deserve to be used like that," Gwen said, twitching. Had she really just been using him? She didn't know for sure when she had started feeling some sort of affection for Arthur, but there it was.

"I don't mind," Arthur said quietly.

Gwen looked at him with wide eyes, "What?"

"I still like you Gwen. I thought that you might be over Lancelot, but I guess you're not," Arthur sighed.

Gwen kissed him unexpectedly once more, slowly and surely. She pulled away but let her hand linger on his cheek.

"You don't deserve to be a rebound," she offered a small smile, "you mean more to me than that."

"Really?" Arthur raised a brow.

"Somehow you wormed your way into my life and I'm glad you did. I like you a whole lot more when you're not asking me out or pretending to be some arrogant prat."

"It's not pretend, I am a prat," Arthur said, knowing he wasn't good enough for Gwen.

"Prats aren't that devoted to their friends, and they sure as hell don't bring their sick friends soup," she said.

Arthur turned pink and Gwen actually smiled.

"I like you, Arthur, really. I just need some time," Gwen said finally.

Arthur grinned and Gwen shook her head, confused at what had just happened.

"I can wait," he said, perhaps a bit too quickly. Gwen snorted.

"Not a word of this to Morgana. Or Merlin," she said quickly. Morgana would go around the flat singing 'I knewww it' while Merlin would give them knowing looks.

"Anything you say."

* * *

Morgana set aside her book with a thump. Merlin looked at her in concern and she looked at him with wide eyes.

"I never told you what happened at Avalon, did I?"

"If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to," Merlin set his own book down.

"There were these guys, wealthy, snobby, the like, They had a bet going around concerning me."

Merlin looked puzzled, and Morgana smiled a bit at his innocence before sobering.

"Who'd bed the bitch first. I never encouraged them. I avoided them and wondered why they were being so nice."

Merlin frowned and wrapped an arm around her, surprised he was finally getting the story of what had happened at Avalon Prep.

Morgana recounted the tale, of the rich jerks who had bet on who would bed the Prime Minister's ward first, as a way for her to bite her acid tongue. She had always been a bit contrary as a child, and more free-spirited than her classmates. The divide between her and the rest of her class grew as they got older. Girls were nice to her face and called her a heinous bitch behind her back. The boys wanted to date her because of her connections to Arthur and Uther, but she never would've thought a group of pricks would wager on which one of them would take her virginity. She had been annoyed at their feigned kindness more than anything else, and did her best to ignore it. One night at a school dance she had been dragged to, one of the boys had pulled her to the empty corridor since he wanted to win the bet that had been going on for two months. He kissed her, and Morgana pushed him away.

Merlin's fists clenched as she told her story, and gave a tense smile when she told him she kicked the bastard in the balls and broke his nose. Arthur had barrelled out of the dance hall and bloodied the boy's lip when he had caught wind of what was going on. The fool was expelled, and the other idiots who took part were suspended, while Uther paid a visit to their parents. Uther had ranted about pressing charges, but she convinced him to let it drop and not dwell on it. After that, he had become overly concerned in any romantic entanglements she had gotten into.

"No one should have to go through that," Merlin said finally, hugging Morgana close, "if I were there…"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I barely remember their names," she said. It was half a lie. She remembered the names well, but she wouldn't burden Merlin with that. Her sweet, loving Merlin who always protected her.

"You broke his nose. That's my girl," Merlin pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Morgana smiled, still proud of herself for that right hook, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"You don't have to tell me everything if it makes you uncomfortable," Merlin shrugged.

"Do you tell me everything?" she raised a brow.

Merlin bit his lip, "My life's a lie. I'm in love with Will."

Morgana snorted, and smacked Merlin lightly on the chest. Merlin chuckled, glad she didn't look so distraught any more.

"So, what would you like for dinner?" Merlin asked, vaguely aware that Arthur and Lancelot hadn't returned from the pub yet.

Lancelot's absence could easily be explained by Elaine's presence in town, but Arthur had seemingly disappeared after their mid-day beers at the pub.

Morgana shrugged, "I'm not really that hungry."

"Grilled cheese it is," Merlin said. Morgana stopped him from getting up.

"Even I can make that," she patted his knee and sauntered into the kitchen.

Merlin twisted around to watch as she moved about the kitchen, flinching as she shut the cupboards a bit too forcefully.

She popped cheese onto bread, then placed them in the toaster.

"I do believe you're learning," Merlin joked.

Morgana stuck her tongue out at him, "Be nice to your wife."

Merlin smiled, "You're my wife."

"Not legally," she pointed out, smirking.

"Then you're a spearwife," Merlin said, glancing at the book he'd borrowed.

"Hah. I stole you, more like," Morgana snorted.

"Yeah, you did," Merlin smiled once more.

"Dinner's ready," Morgana said abruptly, placing the grilled cheeses onto two plates. Merlin stood and grabbed one of them. The bread was burnt. He started laughing.

Morgana scowled in annoyance, but her lips twitched into a smile.

"God I'm pathetic," she started to laugh, making Merlin laugh even more.

"No, you're perfect," Merlin said seriously, still smiling.

Morgana grinned and took a bite of the burnt grilled cheese. It didn't taste half-bad, actually.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**


	33. Apart

**I am so incredibly sorry about the long wait. I'm done with finals now and will be home for a few weeks, so I'll hopefully wrap up the story as there isn't much left. Thank you for sticking with me!**

* * *

**Apart  
**

In the few weeks between April and May, Arthur Pendragon was probably the happiest he'd ever been. He and Gwen had been seeing each other, but not really seeing each other. They had final exams to study for, and they were a bit preoccupied with that.

Their 'dates', if they could even be called that, were spent in the library studying. Once in a while her foot would tap his ankle from across the way, and he'd smile and gently kick back, eyes never leaving his notes.

If Morgana and Merlin knew about their burgeoning relationship, they didn't let on.

Morgana had requested a simple dinner for her twentieth birthday in April with her foster brother, fiancé, and best friend. Uther had agreed and invited them to Downing Street for dinner. Gwen had walked in nervously, because she was meeting the Prime Minister, who also happened to be her best friend's guardian and her not-quite-boyfriend's dad. Morgana took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Relax," Morgana whispered.

Gwen nodded nervously as Uther came into view.

"Morgana," he greeted with a smile before looking to the other girl, "and you must be Gwen."

"Yes, sir. Prime Minister, sir. Hello," she stumbled over her words awkwardly.

Uther chuckled, "Call me Uther, Gwen."

"Merlin was the same," Morgana said as she led Gwen to the dining room.

Merlin and Arthur were already seated, and stood to greet them.

Dinner was served and it was almost nice.

Over the course of the evening, Morgana had unthinkingly made an off-handed comment about how he should save his money for her wedding. Uther practically choked on his wine, Arthur dropped his fork, Merlin turned beet red, and Gwen laughed nervously.

Arthur met Gwen's eyes across the table, and Gwen immediately looked down at her plate, finding it interesting. Uther's mouth moved though no words came out. Morgana looked around the table nervously and bit her lip.

"April Fools?" she tried pathetically.

"That was two weeks ago," Gwen pointed out quietly.

Merlin's shoulders shook, whether from fear of Uther or concealed laughter they would probably never know.

Uther continued to gape like a fish, before speaking, "So, how's preparation for final examinations?"

* * *

Morgana was scanning the books in Uther's study, as she'd run out of reading material. Finals were over and she was looking for books to add to her collection at her and Gwen's flat. They had a sorry excuse of a bookshelf, mostly filled with some mystery novels, her _Song of Ice and Fire Collection_, and Gwen's history and art books. Merlin and Arthur had helped them install four more shelves on the wall over the weekend, though they weren't as useful as she'd hoped.

The entire day had been Arthur barking out orders and Merlin throwing the instructions in his face. Gwen had rolled her eyes and threatened them with a hammer, leaving Morgana in stitches of laughter and utterly useless to help. Gwen had done most of the work, but Merlin made up for it by making them all dinner.

It was a nice rhythm they had, the four of them. It was like it was always supposed to be like that.

Morgana ran her fingers across the spines of the books, trying to recall which ones she'd read.

She picked up a surprisingly ancient looking copy of the _Count of Monte Cristo_ and decided to open it. On the inside cover was a note.

_It took me ages to return this. Sorry, Vivienne. _

Morgana wrinkled her nose and scanned the other pages. In the middle, she found an old paper, yellowing from age, folded and used as a bookmark.

_Dear Uther,_

_This sounds so formal but it is for the best. I love Gorlois with all my heart. I merely suffered a lapse in judgment, and I apologise for that. I deeply regret our indiscretions. My child will grow up with Gorlois as her father. You have Arthur. I am sorry about Ygraine, and I know you loved her dearly. Please just let Gorlois and I be, Uther. If you cared about me at all, let us be. If not for me, then for Gorlois and our child, because you always loved him best. _

Morgana dropped the letter and the book. Her hand flew to her mouth and screamed. She ran towards the door, charging down the stairs.

Uther was in the sitting room. He looked up at his ward (daughter) with a confused smile.

"Are you alright?" he asked, "see a spider?"

Morgana looked at him, green eyes narrowed. His eyes were the exact shade as hers. Vivienne had blue eyes, Gorlois brown. How had she been so deluded? So willing to believe Gorlois was her real father?

"Fine, father," she spat, spinning on her heel and heading for the front door.

"Morgana," Uther called after her, nearly jumping out of his seat.

Morgana stopped mid-step.

"What?"

"Please let me explain," Uther said slowly.

She turned her head slightly to look at him from the corner of her eye, though her back was turned.

"So you could lie to me some more?" she raised a brow.

"I am so sorry. I did what I thought was best," he tried.

"I've been lied to my entire life. Gorlois, your best friend, was lied to," Morgana's jaw was set, "I hate you, Uther Pendragon."

With that, she opened the door and slammed it shut.

She had left too soon to see the look of remorse on Uther's face. She left too soon to see his jaw twitch and tears well in his eyes. She left to soon to hear him mutter, calling for Gorlois, because he was his best friend and he made everything better. He had lost his wife, his best friend, and now he lost his daughter. He was sure he'd lose Arthur once he knew, too.

* * *

Merlin was worried. He hadn't heard from Morgana all day. Gwen hadn't seen her, neither had Arthur. She wasn't at either flat, the café, pub, library, or anywhere. She hadn't picked up her mobile or replied to any messages.

He paced the floor of Morgana's flat, Gwen trying to calm him. A suitcase was missing, as were some of her clothes. She had just disappeared into thin air. She must have packed and left while Gwen was at work.

"I don't understand," Merlin fretted. Had he done something wrong? Was she angry at them?

A knock came at the door, and Gwen opened it to reveal an enraged Arthur. His face was tinged pink and he looked like he'd been running his hands through his hair in his anxiety.

"What is it?" Gwen asked worriedly.

"She got into a fight with Uther. I just got off the phone with him. He lied about the paternity test. She's my sister," Arthur spit out the information.

Gwen's eyes widened and Merlin looked dumbstruck.

"Do you know where she is?" Merlin asked quietly.

Arthur shook his head. Sister. Morgana was his sister. He'd always wanted a brother or sister, and Morgana had been the closest. He sometimes wondered as a child if it was his desire for Morgana to be his sister the thing that killed the Lefays. He knew it wasn't logical, and he was glad to have Morgana as a sister, but not like this. Not with her being lied to for twenty years of who she was by her father.

* * *

Comforting arms wrapped around her and she cried into Morgause's shoulder.

"Shh, it'll be fine," Morgause said softly.

Morgana merely clung tighter to her sister. She had called Morgause in her grief and Morgause told her she was in Greece, and to come see her, because she needed to get away. Morgana packed her suitcase in record time and had arrived at the airport to find Morgause had her tickets reserved and everything. For this Morgana was grateful.

"I hate him," was all Morgana could say.

Morgause pulled away, hazel eyes imploring, "In his own strange way, he cares for you, Morgana."

"If he cared he wouldn't have lied. I want my dad, Morgause. I want Gorlois," Morgana tried to hold back a sob.

"I know," Morgause hugged her once more before leading her to the waiting taxi.

* * *

"Morgana?" Merlin's worried voice came over the line and she felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

"_I'm sorry I left so suddenly_," she mumbled.

"As long as you're okay," Merlin said, and she could practically hear him run his hand through his hair.

"_I'm with Morgause. In Greece_," she flinched at his little relieved but tense laugh.

"I'll come, too," Merlin said after a moment, like it was the obvious thing to do.

"_No_," she said, "_I need time to be away from London, from everything. I'll be back soon_," Morgana finished, fiddling with the hem of shirt while she spoke.

"Whatever you need," Merlin said softly.

"_I love you_," Morgana said.

"I love you, too."

* * *

It was hot. Greece was so blindingly hot. After just one day roaming the outdoor markets, Morgana was sunburned, despite copious usage of sun cream. Morgause had been there two weeks with Cendred, who was on assignment. Her once pale skin was now tanned, matching well with her blonde hair. Morgana on the other hand looked as if she'd been set to fry.

A thin, gauzy blue shawl caught her eye. She picked it up, admiring how light it was.

"May I help you?" a middle-aged woman with tanned skin and dark curls asked in English.

"Just looking," Morgana smiled lightly, "this is lovely."

"We'll take it," Morgause said, ignoring the protests from Morgana as she paid the lady.

"Have a nice day," the woman said as they walked off, Morgana trailing behind Morgause.

"You didn't have to do that," Morgana said in annoyance.

Morgause sighed and wrapped the shawl around Morgana's head and bare shoulders so she wouldn't get burned any more.

"You're my only sister, and I worry about you sometimes," Morgause said, taking Morgana's hand.

"There's nothing to worry about," Morgana shook her head.

"Have you thought about what you want to do after graduation next year?" Morgause asked.

"Maybe try to get a job at a paper in London," she shrugged.

"And Merlin?"

"He wants to be a doctor but his writing is brilliant," Morgana started.

"Does he want to go to Ireland? Stay in London? What are you two going to do if you two want to live in different places?"

"We'll figure it out," Morgana bit her lip, feeling stupid.

She'd been so stupid. She loved Merlin more than anything, but they never thought things through. They were both too impulsive, too stubborn. Why had they never discussed the future outside of assuming they'd be together? They weren't adults. They were both naïve children, playing at being grown-ups.

Morgana's face fell and she looked to Morgause, who sensed her oncoming panic.

"You can stay with me as long as you like," Morgause said reassuringly, squeezing her sister's hand.

* * *

Arthur threw what few belongings he had left in Downing Street into a box. He was going to stay at home over the summer, but not now. Lancelot had tagged along with Gwaine and Percival who were visiting Dublin (and Elaine), so he and Merlin had the flat to themselves. Merlin would be going to Armagh to see his parents and friends, and had invited Gwen and Arthur along. It seemed to be the logical thing to do while Morgana was away.

She had called Merlin and told him she'd be staying with Morgause longer than she had planned, and Merlin told her to take as much time as she needed. He was sickeningly understanding like that.

Until their trip to Ireland, he and Merlin would be remaining in their flat. Arthur had covered the rent money for the summer, much to Merlin's annoyance.

"We're practically family," Arthur had shrugged.

Family. What family did he have, really? Morgana was his foster sister turned actual sister, while Uther was his lying, cheating father. All he really had was Morgana, and she had chosen Morgause over him.

He wasn't in a mood to talk to Uther. He just wanted to grab his stuff and go. So with the box in his arms, he made his way down the stairs to the sitting room. Uther wasn't home, and for that he was thankful. He probably wouldn't go to dinner on Friday night. How could he look his father in the eye when he was the cause of so much pain?

* * *

Merlin looked up from the book he was reading when Arthur struggled to enter the flat with a box of his belongings. Merlin got off of the couch and held open the door.

"Thanks, mate," Arthur said, dropping the box on the floor.

"Did you talk with your dad?" Merlin asked immediately.

"Wasn't home," Arthur said darkly, "I don't want to talk to him. If I were Morgana, not even Pluto would be far enough to get away."

Merlin snorted in agreement.

"Is Gwen coming for lunch?" Merlin asked.

"I thought we'd go to her," Arthur said easily. She had work at the café so it'd be easier if they saw her during her break.

Merlin's mouth quirked into a knowing smirk.

"What?" Arthur tried not to snap.

"Nothing," his smirk widened.

Arthur rolled his eyes and picked up the box, hauling it to his room.

* * *

"Have you bought your train ticket?" Arthur asked his friends.

Both Gwen and Merlin nodded.

"Mum said she'd make up the couch for us so Gwen can take my room," Merlin informed them.

Arthur glanced at Gwen out of the corner of his eye, while Gwen appeared not to notice.

"Gwaine said he'd be glad to have us over if we want to see Dublin, as well," Merlin added.

"Sounds good," Gwen nodded.

"It seems wrong, though," Arthur frowned.

"Without Morgana," Gwen said knowingly.

"She needs to be away. I get it," Merlin shrugged, "she'll be back soon."

* * *

Morgana looked out her window, staring at the sea. The hotel in Santorini was right on the beach, deep blue waters mere metres away. She should have been enjoying her impromptu holiday, but she was miserable. It was too hot. Too dry. Her skin was peeling to reveal she had no tan. As much as she wanted to be as far away from Uther as possible, she didn't like being so far from her friends and Merlin.

Morgause insisted she remain with her and Cendred the remainder of the summer, and Morgana had told her she'd think about it. She wanted to go home, but she couldn't face them, not yet. She and Merlin needed to have a serious adult conversation, and she wasn't ready to face the severity.

Going off to South Africa and then Australia with Morgause seemed to be a good idea. She'd spend the summer on her own, finding herself. Her friends would understand.

* * *

It was a full house in Hunith's flat, to say the least. She and Balinor remained in her room, which felt strange to Merlin. He'd always wanted a father, but now that he was in his life, he didn't know how to act.

He distracted himself by showing Arthur and Gwen around his hometown. The first night got a bit awkward when after a few too many drinks, Arthur began to hit on Arianne, much to Will's annoyance.

Ari, to her credit, wrinkled her nose.

"Merlin, your idiot friend needs to handle his liquor better," she scowled.

Freya snorted in amusement, Gwen smirked in a very Morgana-like way, and Merlin laughed.

"You're pretty," he told Arianne, who crossed her arms over her chest.

She raised a brow, "And you're an annoying prat."

Will chuckled softly, and Arthur noticed him.

"Will! You're girlfriend is pretty. She's mean, though," Arthur said seriously.

Arianne's cheeks flushed and she glared at Arthur, looking ready to kick him.

"Okay, then," Will took Ari by the shoulders, leading her away from Arthur before she actually decided to beat him to a pulp.

Gwen appeared by Arthur's side, and his blue eyes looked at her happily.

"Gwen, where were you?" Arthur asked as if she hadn't been there in hours.

"Talking to Freya and Merlin," she gestured to the table where Merlin and Freya were chatting animatedly, a quiet Clark sitting nearby.

Gwen liked Clark, as well as Arianne. While Clark was quiet and calm, his little sister was boisterous and aggressive. She didn't miss the looks Clark gave Freya as she talked to Merlin. Those were the same looks Arthur used to shoot at her when she would speak to Lancelot. She wondered what happened to Clark's girlfriend. Just a few months ago Freya seemed certain he was dating someone. Perhaps Freya had gotten over her crush, only for Clark to fancy her.

Arthur nodded along, "You're prettier than Arianne."

Gwen blushed, "You're drunk, Arthur."

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen," he insisted.

"Thank you, but you're drunk," Gwen patted him on the arm lightly.

* * *

The night only got more awkward when Gwen retreated to Merlin's room to sleep, while Merlin and Arthur were left on the couch.

Arthur had made himself at home, sprawled out onto the couch, leaving little room for Merlin.

Merlin lay down and tried to sleep, only to be kept awake by Arthur's snoring. He remembered that well from their first year as flatmates. Merlin got off of the couch and padded into the kitchen to make some tea. His parents were already asleep. Hunith had a morning shift at the hospital, and Balinor had gotten a job as an assistant at a company in Belfast, so he commuted every day.

He checked his mobile to see if Morgana had sent him a message or called. There was nothing.

* * *

As summer wore on, Merlin's mood grew more sour. His daily chats with Morgana had turned into chats every other day, to every week, to not at all. He figured it had something to do with the crazy time difference, and since she was probably so busy sightseeing, he couldn't be too upset with her. He was being irrational in feeling neglected, but he couldn't help how he felt, now could he? He tried to be understanding, he really did, but he was only human.

Summer was coming to an end, and they were all in Dublin for the day. By all, he meant all but Morgana. Will, Arianne, Clark, and Freya had joined Merlin, Gwen, and Arthur in visiting Gwaine, Percival, and Lancelot. Gwaine had showed his friends around the city, pointing to the places where he'd passed out from too much alcohol. Percy looked at his boyfriend in concern, and Gwaine smiled sheepishly. Elaine told them of how she had to bail him out of jail once without their mum knowing after Gwaine was stumbling around Dublin, blindingly drunk. He was 'causing a disturbance', apparently.

Everyone was getting along quite well. Arianne and Elaine got off on the wrong foot at first, with Arianne muttering something about how she was silly like her older sister since Elaine was being friendly to Will. Arianne thought she was overly friendly. She calmed down though once she realized both Gwaine and his sister were flirty by nature and saw Elaine's hand holding Lancelot's under the table.

Freya and Merlin sat at the bar, watching their friends' failed attempts at flirting. Well, Gwaine and Percival had gone off in a corner somewhere, Elaine was making Lancelot blush, Arianne and Will were arguing about something (again) while Clark tried to mediate, and Arthur was babbling nervously to an amused looking Gwen. Merlin raised a brow when Gwen kissed Arthur on the cheek, leaving the man looking like he'd just won the lottery.

Freya giggled into her drink, obviously thinking the same thing Merlin was. She sobered once she saw Clark staring at her from his seat with his sister and Will.

"Go," Merlin nudged her gently.

"No," she said stubbornly.

"Freya," Merlin tilted his head.

"Merlin," she mimicked.

"Gee, why did we ever break up?" Merlin asked jokingly.

Freya smiled softly, "It's because we weren't the one for each other."

Merlin looked at the counter and shook his head.

"Sometimes I wonder how different things would've been if I'd gone to Belfast with you," Merlin admitted quietly.

"Look around, Merlin. All of these friends you've made, you'd never have met them. You would never have met Morgana," Freya's brows furrowed in concern. Why was Merlin acting so weird?

"Maybe that would have been for the best," Merlin mumbled.

"What's going on?" Freya asked.

"She won't answer my calls. I get that she's busy, but that busy?" Merlin said quietly.

"She just found out her guardian is actually her father, Merlin. She's going through a lot, so she went to the sister she's grown up knowing, and trying to limit her interaction with anyone that could remind her of the lies," Freya shrugged, trying to rationalise Morgana's behaviour.

Merlin looked up at her, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, "God, I've missed you."

"Visit more often, then," Freya quipped.

Merlin broke out into a genuine smile, and Freya looked immensely pleased with herself. Merlin had been moping around for weeks. It was about time he smiled.

"I love you, Freya," Merlin said softly, leaning into her ear.

"I know," Freya snorted in amusement. Merlin was so strange sometimes.

"I'm serious," Merlin's eyes darkened a bit, "I love you. A lot."

Freya frowned, "I love you, too, you idiot. Always have, always will. I'm glad we're friends."

Merlin's smile faltered, "Friends."

Merlin took a sip of his drink and leaned closer to Freya once more.

"Go talk to Clark," he whispered, having noticed the older man look at them while trying to look like he wasn't looking.

"I'd rather not," Freya hissed.

Merlin saw Clark still looking at them intently.

"One of you needs to do something," Merlin grumbled.

"There's nothing to do," Freya insisted.

Merlin rolled his eyes and slid off of his seat, heading towards the doors. He was surrounded by love struck fools and it was grating on his nerves.

He leaned against the wall outside and took out his mobile. Nothing. His hands itched. What he wouldn't give for a cigarette right now. He closed his eyes, then heard the door open and close. He opened his eyes to see Freya standing before him with her arms crossed. Obviously none of his other friends had noticed his bad mood. Why should they? They had better things to do than be worried about him.

"Merlin," Freya's voice was soft, imploring.

"I don't want your pity," Merlin said stiffly.

She glared, "You dumbass. You're my friend and I love you, for some strange reason."

Her arms fell to her sides and Merlin sighed.

"I can't help but think I made a mistake. Me and Morgana…we're just playing at being adults. We can't get married, not now. Hell, we've never talked about the future," he started to ramble.

"Hey," Freya stepped closer to him and patted his shoulder, "you two are obviously crazy about each other. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, then at least you know you tried."

Merlin looked at her as if he didn't quite believe her, then finally nodded.

"Thanks," he said.

"Not a problem," Freya hugged him, "you just need someone to talk sense into you once in a while."

Merlin pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and she pulled away.

"What would you do without me?" she asked teasingly.

"I don't know," Merlin murmured and leaned closer to Freya, brushing his lips against hers.

Freya jerked away, anger apparent on her face.

"No!" she practically shouted, "you can't do this, Merlin. The Merlin and Freya book is closed. You're with Morgana," she said sternly.

"Doesn't bloody seem like it," Merlin snorted bitterly.

Freya's expression softened, "It's not fair to me or her or you if you do this. We broke up for a reason."

"Well I don't really remember that reason," Merlin ran a hand through his hair.

"We wanted different things," Freya said, frustration at Merlin's antics creeping into her voice.

Merlin nodded, "I'm sorry."

"You're not in a good place, I get it," Freya sighed and hugged Merlin once more, "talk to your girlfriend, yeah?"

* * *

**While Gwen and Arthur come together, Morgana and Merlin fall apart. A breakup may or may not be on the horizon. Please review.**


	34. Tis the Season

**Thank you for the reviews and follows and for reading!**

* * *

**Tis the Season  
**

She was back to the way she was two years ago. She scowled more, was quieter, and answered in short sentences. She also swore up a storm, but that was to be expected. She refused to divulge into details of her summer. She went sightseeing and spent time with her sister. That was all she told anyone. She also insisted she was perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Merlin needed to talk to her, but she kept avoiding him. It was two weeks into the fall term and they still hadn't discussed, well, anything. She'd spend her time at her flat with Gwen and at the library. She insisted it was because she wanted to get a job at a paper after graduation, and that she didn't want her status as the younger Dulac heiress, the heir to Lefay's investigative talents, and the Prime Minister's ward. Word had not yet gotten out that she was in fact, Uther's daughter, and she preferred it to remain that way.

Merlin could understand that. He couldn't understand why she couldn't look at him for more than a few minutes without looking like she'd burst into tears.

"We need to talk," Merlin said, tossing his backpack onto the table in the library.

"I'm trying to study," Morgana said curtly.

There were bags under her eyes and she looked thinner. Her cheekbones were more prominent and her clothes hung off her frame. He was worried. They were all worried.

"Morgana, please," Merlin said softly.

Morgana nodded and gathered her books and notebooks into her bag. Merlin picked up his backpack and they walked along the path to the abandoned courtyard, their courtyard. The leaves were starting to turn yellow, red, or orange, and there was a breeze in the air.

"You didn't answer my calls, emails, nothing, Morgana," Merlin started, voice low.

Morgana settled herself onto a bench, frowning, "I know. I'm sorry. I was just so messed up."

"I get that. I was worried," Merlin sat down next to her.

Morgana took a deep breath and looked away. She pulled her cardigan sleeves over her wrists.

Merlin bit his lip, "I kissed Freya."

Morgana's head jerked to look at him, eyes wide. Hurt flashed across her face before she schooled her features into that of indifference.

"She got mad at me, rightfully so. I was being stupid. I missed you," he said lamely.

"So you kissed your ex-girlfriend?" Morgana's voice was devoid of emotion. She liked Freya. She was nice. She apparently also had more sense than Merlin.

"I'm sorry," he said, unable to say anything else.

"I get it. You were lonely, and I didn't answer your calls, but still," she sounded numb, masking her hurt.

"I was wrong. I know. Will you please talk to me? What's going on?" Merlin asked her.

Morgana closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "We're meant to hurt each other. I hurt you by not responding and you hurt me by kissing Freya. It's what we _do_. Always. We're supposed to hurt each other."

"What are you talking about?" Merlin's brow furrowed.

"My nightmares, Merlin. They've gotten worse."

_Worse since she stopped sleeping in the same bed as him, but she wasn't going to let him know that._

He remained quiet, waiting for her to continue.

"We're horrible to each other. Poison, backstabbing, pushes down stairways. You were so nice at first, then we both became this twisted shells, maniac and depraved," her voice was low, like it hurt to remember it.

"That's not us," Merlin said, "those are some warlock and a lady who might look like us, but they're not us. It's just a story."

"How can you be so sure? Balinor said—"

"Fuck what Balinor said," Merlin interrupted, "we chose our destinies. It doesn't have to be like that."

Morgana shook her head, "We were doomed from the start."

She twisted the ring on her finger anxiously.

"If it's just your nightmares…"

"No, it's not. Merlin, we never talked about the future. I want to be a journalist, preferably here in London, maybe Dublin so I can be closer to home. What about you?"

"Med school," Merlin said simply, "I'll go wherever you go."

"We can't do that to ourselves, following the other around. One day, we'll resent each other," Morgana sighed.

"No, we won't," Merlin said with such certainty that Morgana wanted to believe him.

"Merlin," she bit her lip, "we're too alike. To impulsive, too stubborn. That's what led the Lady and Warlock to try and kill each other."

"We're. Not. Them," Merlin insisted.

"All we do is hurt each other," Morgana said decisively, slipping the ring off of her finger. She held it out for Merlin to take.

"No," Merlin whispered, "_no_," he said loudly.

"Please, Merlin. We've been foolish and so, so stupid. Don't make this harder than it needs to be," Morgana tried to take his hand so he'd take the ring.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Morgana," Merlin looked at her imploringly, hoping she'd come to her senses.

"I love you," she said, "but we can never work."

_Can never work. _Those words stung because they were so familiar. Freya had said something similar to him almost three years ago, but he had agreed with her. This hurt so much more because he knew she was wrong.

She frowned and finally Merlin took the ring from her. She stood, arms across her chest and shoulders shaking. This was for the best. She had to let Merlin go before she hurt him any more, or before he hurt her.

* * *

Merlin tried to make himself some dinner. The ring was still in his pocket, weighing heavily. He took it out and placed it on the counter. He'd focus on dinner. He waited for the water to boil before adding in the pasta, then took the plates from the cupboard. Arthur and Lancelot were probably hungry, too.

He was about to take the plates to their small table in the corner of the kitchen when he caught sight of that damned ring again. His chest constricted and he smashed a plate against a counter, watching the cheap porcelain break into countless small pieces. It felt good.

The door to the flat opened, and he turned around to see Lancelot standing there.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"No. No, I'm not," Merlin laughed bitterly.

Lancelot closed the door behind him and walked into the kitchen. He took out the boom and dust pan and started to clean up the shards of what was once a plate. Merlin looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

He merely quietly cleaned up the mess and deposited it into the rubbish bin, then finally looked at Merlin.

"I'm here if you need to talk," he said with a soft smile.

"Morgana dumped me because I'm an idiot," Merlin said simply.

"You told her about Freya?" Lancelot asked.

Merlin nodded, "She was going to break up with me either way. She had an epiphany that we weren't right for each other during her trip."

Lancelot moved closer to Merlin and gave him a hug. Merlin wrapped his arms around his friend and let out a choked laugh.

"I was so dumb," Merlin mumbled.

"No. You're great. If you and Morgana were meant to be, it'll be, if not, then at least you tried," Lancelot patted Merlin's back.

"That's what Freya said," Merlin snorted.

"You're not going to try and kiss me, too, are you?" Lancelot joked.

"Not tonight," Merlin quipped.

The door of the flat opened once again and Arthur stood there with a look of confusion on his face.

"What the hell did I just miss?"

* * *

September turned into October. Everyone still spent time together, but it was tenser as they were all walking on eggshells. Arthur and Gwen seemed to be blissfully happy as they were in a relationship. Morgana avoided Arthur since they had yet to discuss their siblinghood, and it was getting difficult with him constantly at her flat because of Gwen.

Morgana sat on the couch, typing up her article. Arthur sat opposite her, waiting for Gwen to return from work so they could go on their date to the movies. Gwen told him she had to change after work, and that picking her up at the café would be pointless. Arthur hadn't realised Morgana would be home since she was camped out in the library more often than not. He was pretty sure Gwen did this on purpose so they'd be forced to talk.

"So, are we not going to talk about the fact we're siblings?" Arthur asked.

Morgana looked up from her article, "I've always seen you as a brother. Our relationship doesn't really change, does it?"

"That's why you ran away to Morgause, then?" Arthur tried not to sound upset.

Morgana pinched the bridge of her nose, pushing up her glasses. Arthur thought it was such an Uther type action, but he kept mum on that.

"I shouldn't have run off, but I my life turned out to be a lie," Morgana snapped.

"Sorry. It's just that it feels like you'll never see me as your brother," Arthur shrugged.

"Morgause was there before my parents died. She was always this role model for me. She was the last link I had to my mother. But I grew up with you. You're my _brother_," Morgana said gently.

Arthur smiled, "It's good to have you back."

"Thanks," Morgana smiled.

She wanted to ask him how Merlin was, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She saw him in journalism, but he sat with Lancelot (sweet, lovely Lancelot who would go sit with her sometimes and try to cheer her up) and avoided her aside from polite 'hellos' in the hall or pub or café or library.

"He's acting like everything's fine," Arthur was apparently a mind-reader, "he broke a plate."

"What?" Morgana's eyes bugged out.

"Full on Tom from 500 Days of Summer," Arthur nodded.

Morgana frowned, eye filling with tears. She wiped her eyes before Arthur could see her distress.

"He'll be okay. You'll both be okay," Arthur said softly.

He wasn't quite sure why they broke up, but he knew they'd find their way back to each other eventually.

* * *

October bled into November, which in turn ushered in December and snow and final exams.

If Morgana didn't live at the library before, she certainly did now. She was writing a final paper for her anthropology class, while her advanced literature texts remained neglected next to her.

She looked up, shocked to see Merlin standing there with two take away cups of what she assumed was coffee.

"Merlin," she offered a small smile.

"Mind if I study with you?" he asked.

"Sit," she nodded.

He did, placing his backpack and cups onto the table. He pushed one cup towards her, and she took it gratefully.

"Truce?" he asked.

"Truce," she conceded.

They worked on their assignments in companionable silence. It was nice to sit together without one of them stalking off in order to avoid the other. She glanced up at him and bit back a sad smile. He was right there. She could take his hand and tell her she was wrong, that they should be together. But she didn't.

* * *

Gwen was glad Merlin and Morgana were speaking again. She was eating more often, and the bags under her eyes slowly disappeared. She was still a bit reserved, and she never went into detail about how her summer was, but it was a start.

Now she was seated between them at the pub, Arthur and Leon across from them. Mithian was at the bar fending off Gwaine's harmless flirtations while waiting for drinks. It would have been a triple date, but while Merlin and Morgana were on speaking terms again, they were so awkward it was painful to watch.

"So, now that finals are over, what are we doing for Christmas?" Arthur asked once Mithian returned to the table.

He would most definitely not be spending Christmas with his father. He had yet to speak to him after calling him the day Morgana took off, and their weekly dinners were on hiatus until further notice.

"I'll be with my parents," Merlin said. It still sounded strange to him. Parents. Two of them. He smiled a bit.

"I think Lancelot's tagging along to Dublin with Percy and Gwaine again," Mithian said with a knowing smile.

"That Elaine's got him in her clutches," Leon said.

"You make her sound like a Disney villain," Mithian raised a brow.

Leon shrugged, "I just meant I've never seen Lancelot so tongue-tied." He cast an apologetic glance to Gwen, who took no offence to the comment.

She and Lancelot weren't quite right for one another, and she was okay with that. She wouldn't begrudge Lancelot, Elaine, or whoever made him happy their happiness.

"Well I'll be with my parents, too," Mithian said.

"My parents are actually in the country for once so I'll probably be here and visit them Christmas day," Leon shrugged.

"Same as last year," Gwen said, and Arthur nodded along absentmindedly. A quiet Christmas at the flat sounded good. He doubted Uther would throw the usual Christmas party.

"I'll probably be here. My sister might come visit," Morgana shared, earning an eye roll from Arthur.

She'd make those two get along if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

Merlin took a long sip of tea. He was sitting in Freya's flat that she shared with Arianne, looking around the room.

Freya brought over her own cup and sat next to him.

"Sorry about the mess," she gestured to the piles of books and papers.

"It's fine," Merlin smiled at her.

"I'm so close to perfecting my thesis," Freya curled her feet under her.

"And Arianne stayed with you while you had your moment of genius?" Merlin asked.

"I'm always a genius," Freya snorted.

"What's your thesis even on?"

"It's psychology. You'd be bored," Freya sipped her tea.

"I won't be bored," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"It's about the lasting side-effects of abuse," she said quietly.

Merlin's eyes darkened, "I'll kill Steve."

"I got out of it lucky, Merlin. A lot of people aren't. Not just women but men, too. And children tend to have it the worst because they think they're the ones who've done something wrong," Freya started, getting a far-off look in her eye.

"Freya," Merlin placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I never realised abuse could be verbal until I started taking the intro to psychology last year. When my dad kept telling me I was stupid, or when my mum told me to stop eating those pastries because I looked plump," she shook her head.

"I brought you sweets everyday for three months because she wouldn't keep any in the house," Merlin recalled.

Freya laughed a bit, remembering the chocolates and biscuits Merlin would have in his bag for her so her mum wouldn't find out. He really was too sweet for his own good.

"So, how's London?" she changed the topic.

"Good," Merlin said simply.

"It's nice you and Morgana are talking now," Freya tried to get him to open up. They spoke regularly, about once a week or so. She was thrilled when Merlin told him of his and Morgana's truce. Now she was waiting for the penny to drop and for them to make up.

"Yeah. I'm still a bit worried about her though. She's so quiet."

Morgana used to be more outspoken and bubbly in an aggressive way, like if Gwen and Arianne's personalities were combined.

"She's probably just stressed and thinking of graduation," Freya shrugged.

"She's applied to jobs at literally every paper in London and a few in Dublin," Merlin couldn't help but smile.

"And you?" Freya asked.

"I was thinking about coming here, actually," Merlin said with a thoughtful look.

"Really?" Freya raised a brow.

"I'd be closer to my parents. I never really knew Balinor, and I want to. Gaius would be alone, though, but the med school here is good," Merlin bit his lip.

"If you want to be here for those reasons and not because you want to avoid Morgana, then you should do it," Freya said, "and as for Gaius, I'm sure Arthur or Gwen wouldn't mind checking up on him. And there are weekends, too."

She started ramble, a sign that she was excited. Merlin smiled. He, Freya, and Will would be together again, as it should be.

* * *

Morgana glanced nervously between Arthur and Morgause. They were seated in the small, cosy restaurant. They had actually been civil and getting on well enough. It was a Christmas miracle. One would have thought Arthur and Morgause were the siblings, with their matching blond hair, but that wasn't the case.

Morgana's eyes went wide as she wondered just how long Vivienne and Uther had been carrying on. Could he also be Morgause's father? Was Mr Essiter cuckolded as well?

She shook her head, trying not to think of that. It made her feel sick.

"You all right?" Arthur set his fork down, forgetting his steak.

"Fine," she took a bite of chicken.

Morgause narrowed her hazel eyes, "I don't believe you."

"Finally, we agree on something," Arthur said.

Morgause actually smiled, and Arthur offered a small smile back. Morgause wasn't as wretched as he'd remembered. Maybe it's because he didn't have to compete for Morgana's affections anymore. After all, Morgana spent more time with her brother than her sister after the age of ten.

"I'm fine. It's just, you're both blond," Morgana wrinkled her nose.

"My father's hair is light as well. You're being paranoid, sister," Morgause said calmly.

Arthur nodded, surprised to be in agreement with Morgause twice in the span of one day.

Morgana nodded and took a sip of her cola. She was being ridiculous.

"How's Cendred?" Arthur asked politely.

"Good. He's sorry he couldn't be here. He was called to Hawaii since that volcano is active," Morgause shared.

"He has an interesting job," Arthur mused.

"He does," Morgause smiled, "have you thought of what you're doing after graduation?"

"I could go start at Camelot while doing a Masters degree," Arthur shrugged.

"You didn't tell me you wanted a Masters," Morgana looked at her half-brother.

"I haven't really decided. I don't want to live off of my father's name, though," Arthur made a face.

"You could apply to other firms. As long as you've got the grades and the recommendations," Morgause shrugged.

She had been a law student, and worked as a lawyer at a London firm. She then moved to France to practice civil law, then when she and Cendred started to travel more often, began her own practice.

"Part of me doesn't even want to stay in London, but everyone is here," Arthur said.

Morgana knew that 'everyone' meant Gwen. She tried not to smile.

* * *

The tree was nearly completely decorated. Hunith was giving Balinor instructions on where to put the ornaments.

"We always put that one there," she pointed.

Balinor sighed and quietly placed the dark green orb onto a branch. Hunith smiled at him.

"Good. How's the tinsel?" she turned to her son, who was sitting on the ground, arms crossed.

"Excellent, as you can see," Merlin deadpanned.

He was covered in tinsel. Freya had come by to help decorate the tree whilst Arianne and Will were on a date. She and Arianne had decorated their own tree, and she was still on rocky terms with her parents. She'd turned up to tea with her mother to see the tree already decorated and the ornaments she made as a child mysteriously absent.

Hunith had insisted she come and help them when she overheard Merlin talking to her on the phone, saddened by the fact her parents acted like she didn't even exist.

Balinor laughed, "He's not a tree, Freya."

"He's tall enough," Freya shrugged, making Balinor laugh more.

Hunith smiled and placed a hand on Freya's shoulder. She'd missed having the girl around. She remembered when Merlin was six and came home excitedly to tell him he'd made new friends. Will and Freya had always been in Merlin's life and always would. It was comforting to know her son was so loved.

"Could you please undecorate my son, dear? I need the tinsel," Hunith said.

"Yes, ma'am," Freya said, and began to pick the tinsel off of Merlin's head.

"You're more concerned about the tinsel," Merlin accused his mother.

Hunith made a face, "Sounds about right."

Merlin gaped at her, then looked at Balinor, "Was she always like this?"

"Lovely and a bit barmy?" Balinor glanced at her.

"Awww," Freya looked at the couple.

"You're too kind," Hunith tried to glare at her husband. He was still her husband, since they'd never gotten divorced.

Balinor offered her a crooked smile and she took some tinsel from Merlin's head and tossed it at Balinor.

Merlin watched as they bickered, eyes wide. This was the childhood Christmas he'd never gotten to have. Freya plopped down next to him, small smile on her face.

"You're lucky," she said softly, "your parents love each other."

"Don't get all sentimental on me," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Hard not to when you look like a puppy," Freya bumped his shoulder with hers.

He bumped back, then shook tinsel from his head onto her.

* * *

"I'm in over my head, mate," Will tugged at his tie.

Merlin was in his flat, alternately sniggering at him and offering him advice. Arianne had been roped into a Christmas Eve dinner with her family, and had convinced Will to come along. At least Clark would be there as a buffer (along with Ari's sister and other brothers and parents and quite possibly all the affluent families in the area).

"You love her, right?" Merlin asked.

"Of course I love her, have you been listening to me at all? I'm worried I'll fuck it up and her family will hate me," Will started to ramble.

Merlin slapped him lightly on the cheek.

"Calm down. Be yourself, be polite. Keep the sarcasm in check around her mum and sister since Arianne said they're a bit sensitive, right?" Merlin said.

Will nodded slowly.

"They'll like you, and if they don't, I'm sure Arianne would gladly go against their wishes and continue to see you," Merlin smirked.

Will narrowed his eyes, "I'm not rich though. I'm not from that world."

"I doubt Arianne cares very much," Merlin crossed his arms over his chest.

"She'd probably live in a one room flat than be stuck in that stuffy manor," he snorted.

"See?" Merlin raised a brow.

"Right, I'll be fine," Will said.

"Fix your tie first," Merlin nodded at him.

"Oh, yeah," Will's hand went to his tie, straightening it. He never would've thought _Merlin_ would be offering him advice, but he'd already dealt with dating a posh girl before. He frowned slightly, wondering just what had happened to make Morgana distance herself from him.

* * *

Merlin sat on the floor, knees brought to his chest. Hunith and Balinor sat on the couch, Balinor's arm draped around Hunith's waist. They were watching last year's Doctor Who special on the telly after their Christmas Eve dinner. They'd go to midnight mass right after.

Merlin tilted his head to glance at his parents and smiled at them. He'd gotten to spend more time with Balinor, and knew that he was one of the better men out there. He regretted he didn't get to grow up with him around, but at least he was here now.

Will was at Arianne's and Freya was with her parents. He shuddered at the thought she had to be subjected to their criticisms on Christmas Eve. He'd be sure to see her at mass, and then take her out for coffee in the morning.

* * *

Gwen and Morgana laughed over dinner. Tom was telling them a story of Elyan's first day at school, and how he'd cried for his mum and stuffed teddy bear.

"Oh, that's so sweet," Morgana looked to Gwen's older brother.

"Thanks," Elyan rolled his eyes, "can we please discuss something else?"

"We're just having a bit of fun," Tom laughed.

"Thank you for having me over for dinner, I really appreciate it," Morgana said, though she'd thanked Tom already.

"No one should be alone Christmas Eve," Tom brushed off her thanks.

Morgana nodded and took a bite of bread.

"Are you not going to the Prime Minister's?" Elyan asked, knowing Morgana was his ward.

"No," she shook her head, "not this year."

Gwen sent her brother an annoyed look, and Elyan raised his hands in surrender.

* * *

Arthur bit off the head of a gingerbread man. Uther was sipping tea after dinner, pretending everything was fine and dandy. He couldn't believe he wound up spending Christmas Eve with his father. He should've gone to Gwen's with Morgana, but Uther was still his father.

"Arthur, I know you're angry with me," Uther placed his tea on the table.

"It's Christmas. Can we not talk about this?" Arthur crossed his arms over his chest.

"We've not talked about anything in months," Uther narrowed his eyes.

"Honestly, dad, I don't even want to be here, but I am because you're my father and despite your actions I still love you," Arthur stood, "but if you're going to pester me, I'll leave."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. Please, understand," Uther watched as Arthur paced around the sitting room.

"I don't think I can. Why couldn't you just tell Morgana the truth when she took the paternity test?"

"I didn't want her to hate me, for you to hate me," Uther pinched his nose.

"Well too bloody late for that," Arthur snorted.

Merry Christmas to them.

* * *

Merlin's mobile rang, and he rolled over on his stomach, picking it up from his dresser.

"'lo?" his voice was tired.

"_Merlin_?" her voice came from the speaker.

"Hi," he sat up, suddenly alert.

"_Did I wake you?_" she asked.

"It's fine," he said, checking the time.

Three in the morning.

"_I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Merlin_," she said.

He smiled, "Merry Christmas, Morgana."

She mumbled a goodbye and hung up. Merlin's head hit the pillow again. He smiled because she'd called him to be the first to wish him Merry Christmas on Christmas morning. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

* * *

**Once again, there's not much left. I'm planning on ending it upon their graduation, and then an epilogue. Please review.**


	35. A New Year

**Thank you for reading and Happy Holidays to you all!  
**

* * *

**A New Year  
**

Will's car was cramped and basically just a tin can, but at least it was a car. He drove, Merlin next to him, and Freya and Clark in the back, sitting as far away from each other as humanly possible.

Arianne had invited them to spend New Year's Eve with her and her family, minus her parents. Her parents would be at a dinner party at their friends' manor. Will had agreed since he got along with her brothers and sister well enough. Clark had to go anyway since he was family.

Freya had tried to dive into the front passenger seat of the car in order to avoid sitting next to Clark, but Merlin swiftly climbed into the car before she had a chance. He smiled toothily and winked. Freya glared at him and said nothing as Clark opened the door for her, his grey eyes downcast. He moved to the opposite end of the car and sat down pressed against the door and window in order to avoid sitting so close to her. Freya, too, was leaning against the car door whilst Will drove them to Belfast.

"So, what's the plan, exactly?" Merlin turned in his seat to look at Clark.

"Probably some food, drinks, and fireworks. We always have fireworks, though Sara hates it," Clark shrugged, referring to his other half-sister.

"Sounds fun," Merlin said, glancing between Freya and Clark.

Will bit his lip to stop from laughing. Freya glared and Clark looked out the window, dark hair falling in front of his face. Merlin scowled at the stubborn pair. He was trying to make a match, here, and they were being so bloody difficult.

* * *

Morgana took a shot at the bar, scowling. Arthur was trying to convince to at least talk to Uther, but she was having none of it. She didn't need him to ruin the New Year like he ruined her life.

"He's a wreck, Morgana. He hides it from the press, yeah, but-" Arthur pleaded.

"Drop it, Arthur," she said sharply, waving Gwaine over to get her another drink.

"I'm off duty, lass, sorry," Gwaine gave a small smile as he ambled towards her and Arthur.

"But, but I need more alcohol," she pouted, "you were gone for so long I didn't get my fix."

He, Percival, and Lancelot had returned from Dublin two days after Christmas. Elaine was surprisingly not with them, though Lancelot spoke to her everyday, much to Gwaine's simultaneous amusement and annoyance.

"Jerry not treat you well?" he raised a brow.

"Jerry doesn't flirt," Morgana made a face.

"One more drink," he conceded, sliding it towards her.

She took it gratefully and Gwaine moved to the end of the bar, switching his shift with Jerry. It was two hours til midnight and most of the pub patrons were either buzzed or completely smashed already. She hopped off of her stool and Arthur sighed, following his sister to the table where Gwen and Lancelot were talking about some art exhibit at the National Gallery or another. He didn't care much for art. He appreciated it in general, but he couldn't go on about it for hours like Gwen and Lancelot could.

He felt a bout of jealousy coming on as Gwen laughed at Lancelot's description of the exhibit, and Morgana sent him a look, shaking her head. She was right, there was nothing to be jealous of. At least, that's what he thought she meant.

Mithian and Leon had been with them, but disappeared to go for a walk. Morgana had snorted and coughed 'snog' while they were donning their coats.

"Too clever by half," Mithian had murmured and taken off with a blushing Leon.

Had Morgana been that way inclined, she would've wanted a snog with Mithian, too.

Percival came from the bar with a round of beer for everyone, Gwaine helping him carry the large mugs. They sat down next to Morgana, and Gwaine wrapped her arm around her.

"You should've come to visit us all over the summer, lass. It was great fun," Gwaine said with a toothy grin, glancing at Percy.

"I had fun traveling with my sister," Morgana smiled lightly, taking a sip of her drink.

"Sleeping in the same bed as _Merlin_ doesn't count as fun," Arthur made a face.

Morgana choked on her drink, wondering just how much she had missed. Gwen narrowed her eyes at Arthur.

"The poor thing slept on the floor because you took the entire couch to yourself," she chastised him.

"I did no such thing," Arthur looked away.

"You did!" Gwen insisted, "that's why he woke up so early and had breakfast made for everyone."

Arthur at least had the grace to look ashamed, "Maybe I was a bit annoying."

"A bit?" Lancelot raised a brow.

"Oy, you weren't there," Arthur frowned.

"Will was going to smash your head in for flirting with Arianne," Lancelot smirked uncharacteristically. Gwen, who was sitting next to Lancelot, laughed.

"More like Arianne was going to smash his head in," she corrected.

"How'd you know? You weren't there," Arthur looked at Lancelot in confusion.

"But Merlin was. People talk and converse and the like," Lancelot smiled at him.

Gwaine burst into laughter and added, "It was a fuller house at my place."

Percival nodded in agreement, "It was pretty evil of you to suggest Freya and Clark share the couch."

"They look like they want to snog, so I was being helpful," Gwaine shrugged. Percival patted his boyfriend on the shoulder. He meant well.

Morgana laughed.

"Merlin and Will put an end to that plan, though," Percy pointed out.

"Little buggers," Gwaine muttered. They were so protective of Freya it was equal parts amusing and touching.

"Well, I'll have to head to Dublin for Easter, then," Morgana said finally, "maybe apply to some papers there." Morgause had told her to take a year off and travel, but Morgana didn't like that idea too much.

"Excellent," Gwaine held up his mug, "to Ireland."

"To Ireland," Morgana agreed.

Everyone else raised their glasses in solidarity. Arthur wondered if Morgana would go and live there, leaving him to deal with Uther. He shuddered at the thought.

* * *

Merlin was speaking to Sara, Arianne and Clark's sister, and Freya couldn't seem to look her in the eye. He finally grew tired of Freya's fidgeting and pulled her aside.

"What the hell's the matter?" Merlin asked quietly.

"She's the ginger I saw in Clark's flat," Freya said, eyes wide.

Merlin's brow furrowed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. All this time I thought it was his girlfriend, I just assumed and ran away. I didn't think it'd be his sister. I'd never met her and I assumed she'd have dark hair like them," Freya explained lamely.

"You fucking idiot," Merlin laughed, only for Freya to punch his shoulder.

"Shut up," she scowled.

"You've been avoiding him for what, like, a year, because you thought his sister was his girlfriend," Merlin tried not to laugh again.

"Honest mistake," Freya mumbled.

She thought back on the day and realised Clark had probably been at work already, and that perhaps Sara was visiting. Merlin shook his head and nodded towards Clark, who watched his youngest brothers (aged eleven and thirteen) run around the room.

"If he rejects me," Freya started.

"He won't," Merlin gave her a nudge.

Freya walked over to Clark, who immediately stood up straighter.

"Freya," he nodded in greeting.

"Hi. Sara's really nice," Freya said, stuttering, "I don't think I've met her before."

"She comes by once in a while, but only when she needs my flat to see her boyfriend without her mum insisting on chaperoning," Clark shrugged, "I usually make myself scarce when that happens." Sara was a grown woman, yet her mother treated her like a child sometimes.

"Oh," Freya felt like a fucking idiot, "but they're okay with Will and Arianne?"

"Dad knows Arianne does whatever the hell she wants, and that since I'm friends with Will he's likely to not be so bad," he explained.

"Oh," she said again.

"Freya?" Clark said softly, "are you okay? Have I done something wrong?"

"Look, I'm going to do something and if it's completely wrong, tell me," she said quickly.

Before Clark had a chance to say anything, Freya grabbed him by the front of his shirt and kissed him. His eyes widened before he wrapped his arms around her.

It took Merlin all his self-control not to cheer.

"I fucking knew it," he grinned, pouring himself some punch from the bowl resting on the dining room table. The littlest of Ari's siblings were running about, Arianne herself chasing after them, Will in tow. The youngest, who had auburn hair like his oldest sister, had lit a sparkler and waved it around as he ran.

"You idiot, you'll hurt yourself," Ari ran after him. Will hurried to the other end of the room, effectively blocking any chance of escape for the boy.

"Oh, bugger," he scowled and handed Arianne the sparkler. The second youngest boy, who had darker hair, laughed at his brother's misfortune.

Sara, the eldest sister, watched her siblings in mild amusement, a small smile crossing her face. She looked at Merlin and waved him over. He moved toward her and found a place next to her against the wall.

"You flying solo tonight as well?" she enquired politely.

"All nights, basically," Merlin snorted.

Sara looked at him strangely, "All this time I thought you and Freya were together, the way Arianne talked about you two. That would've explained my dear brother's moping," Sara said. He found out later that Arianne's information wasn't accurate in the least, but Sara hadn't known that.

"No. Freya and I broke up three years ago," Merlin scratched the back of his head. Of course Ari had left out that little detail.

"That's around the time I broke up with Jeff," she cringed, "second year of uni."

"Ah, not a good fit?" Merlin asked.

She made a face, "Jerk of the century."

"Sorry," Merlin offered.

"I'm not. I wouldn't have met Sam otherwise," she smiled, "any lovely ladies in London catch your eye?"

"One," he said, "we broke up. We still talk, but…"

"Sorry," said Sara.

"Where's your boyfriend, then?" Merlin asked.

Sara cringed, "My parents aren't exactly fond of him. Mum's more concerned than dad. He's not exactly," she gestured to the dining hall they were in, with the crystal chandelier and glass cupboards filled with antique porcelain.

"Will's not, either," Merlin pointed out.

Sara shook her head, "Ari's the wild one of the family. They know she'll do what she wants, damn the consequences."

Merlin thought of what Morgana had said once and smiled to himself.

"And you?"

"It was always about appearances with me, but I was wrong. So, so wrong. I should be more like Ari," she sighed.

"You're not half bad," Merlin shrugged.

"Thanks for that, and for listening to me talk," Sara smiled, "I hope you and that girl work things out."

"Thanks. I guess having so many siblings makes it hard to make yourself heard?" Merlin raised a brow.

"Sometimes," she nodded and took a sip of her own cup of punch.

"I'm glad we finally met, then," Merlin said.

"Likewise," she nodded once more and smiled.

"Sorry I pulled Freya aside earlier," Merlin added.

"You did well, Merlin," Sara smiled.

They leaned against the wall and watched as Arianne and her little brothers jumped on Will, laughing. Clark and Freya had disappeared to who knows where, and Sara smirked.

"Did Clark ever tell Freya she had a pretty name?" she asked.

"Maybe, why?" Merlin asked.

"I'm his go-to for dating advice," she shared, "he asked me what he could do to make a girl like him."

Merlin laughed, long and hard, "I don't think he _needed_ to do anything."

* * *

Sulking at parties had once been Arthur's thing, but now she found herself in a foul mood. She tried to be cheery and bright, but after a few drinks her energy had faded and she gave up on pretenses. Fall term had been hellish, to say the least. Her exam scores reflected that, and she was upset. It was the first time she hadn't gotten the marks she expected. It was probably due to the fact that she couldn't sleep more than a few hours in a row lest she be woken by a nightmare. Now her marks had suffered and she feared it would hurt her job prospects. In addition to that, her phone was chock full of messages from a distraught Uther. She was going to go crazy.

Arthur and Gwen were off in their own little world, Mithian and Leon had disappeared outside once more, and Gwaine was practically sitting on Percival's lap, stealing kisses. As happy as she was for them, her heart hurt a bit.

The only two sane people at the table were Morgana and Lancelot. He was sporadically typing out messages to Elaine, and she tried not to puke at the sweetness of it all.

"Happy New Year to us," Morgana said with a sigh.

"Happy New Year," Lancelot clinked her raised glass with his.

Good old dependable Lancelot. She could see why Gwen had been so smitten. She made a face upon drinking, still a bit disbelieving that Gwen and Arthur were truly well suited for another. She wouldn't meddle, though. It wasn't her place and she hated it when Arthur meddled in her affairs.

"How was Elaine?" Morgana asked with a small smirk.

"Good," his cheeks flushed lightly. He had been drinking quite a bit, and was red without being embarrassed as it was.

"Aw, you are too much," Morgana snorted.

Lancelot rolled his eyes and checked the time. Two minutes til midnight.

"No midnight kiss this year," she said to herself.

Lancelot sent a glance towards Arthur and Gwen, who were a few tables away, "I'm happy for them."

"You're a better man than I am," Morgana said, knowing she'd be incredibly bitter if Merlin started dating again.

Gwaine looked up, "You look nothing like a man."

Morgana rolled her eyes and laughed when Percy tilted Gwaine's head back to face him. Gwaine grinned and kissed Percival once more.

"Are you happy?" Lancelot asked Morgana quietly.

"Yes," she said immediately. Lancelot sent her a look, and she sighed, "No. I'm not."

"What's the problem, then?" he asked curiously. Did she truly think Merlin wasn't right for her?

"I fuck everything up, Lancelot. Everything," she emphasised.

The clock struck midnight and couples everywhere started to snog. Lancelot smiled sadly at Morgana, "You don't. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," she said.

Her mobile started to buzz just as Lancelot received a message. She picked up her phone.

"Hello?" she said over the ruckus. She couldn't hear a damn thing. She stood and walked outside where it was a bit quieter. She should've taken her coat with her, but the cold air was refreshing.

"_Happy New Year," _Merlin's voice came over the speaker.

"Merlin," her breath caught in her throat. Shit, was she crying?

"_Are you alright?_" he caught onto her tone of voice.

"No. No, I'm not," she laughed a little, though she sounded like she was going to cry. Damn why was she crying?

"_What's wrong_?" Merlin asked her quietly.

"Everything. Arthur and Gwen make no bloody sense to me, I'm not speaking to Uther, my marks weren't as high as I expected, my sister is trying to convince me to travel with her before getting a job, I can barely sleep because I keep seeing horrible things, and...and you're not here," she started to ramble.

Merlin didn't respond.

"Merlin?" she said, wondering if he'd hung up on his crazy ex-girlfriend.

"_I'll be there soon, and we'll talk_," he said, pausing, "_I miss you_."

"I miss you, too," she said with a small voice.

Merlin smiled to himself, "_New Year's Day is ours, Morgana._"

* * *

Ten hours later, at ten in the morning, Morgana sleepily opened the door to her flat to find a disheveled looking Merlin waiting on the other side. His clothing was rumpled and his hair was matted against his face. He had stubble on his cheeks and chin and she blinked, wondering if she was dreaming.

"Merlin," she gaped at him, "I...what are you doing here? How did you get here?"

He smiled crookedly at her, "What's the point of having a best friend with a car if you can't catch a ride once in a while?"

"Will drove you?" Morgana's eyes widened.

He shook his head, "His car, but one of Arianne's family staff drove me. His car is en route home as we speak."

"Come in," Morgana said, moving aside. He walked into the flat and stood awkwardly as Morgana closed the door.

"Gwen's not here," she said.

"I know," he made a face, and Morgana smiled a bit. Poor Merlin, having to walk into the flat to see his two friends in a compromising position.

"Oh," she bit her lip in sympathy.

"The bloody couch," he cringed, "at least we kept to a room." He had dropped his small bag of clothes near the door and bolted out of there as fast as he could.

Her smile faded and she nodded, "Common courtesy."

"I didn't mean to bring that up. I'm sorry," Merlin apologised quickly.

"No. It's fine," Morgana shook her head, "I just missed you. A lot."

Merlin smiled, "Likewise."

She played with a loose lock of hair, "I don't want to hurt you again. I'm just scared," she confided.

"I love you. You won't hurt me as long as we're together," Merlin's eyes searched hers.

"I love you, too. It's just-" she was cut off by Merlin kissing her softly.

She was going to say that they haven't talked about the future or their plans or anything besides being together at all. She was still plagued by nightmares and the only one that kept her sane was the one of the little girl. That was the one she looked forward to, the one dream that gave her hope. She knew what happened to the Once and Future King, the Lady, and the Warlock. The King died and waits for his time to come, the Lady (or Witch) trapped her Warlock in cave, but he escaped and she was finally killed by the Warlock, who held her dying in his arms. It was a story. It wasn't them. It couldn't be them. She wasn't evil, and Merlin wasn't a murderer. Arthur wouldn't die, and Gwen wouldn't be left to rule a kingdom. Her subconscious was making the story about them, when it wasn't. She didn't want to consider what Balinor and Gaius had said. Maybe there was magic, but she didn't want it. She never asked for it.

Her arms wrapped around him. Oh, she had missed this. His hands caressed her hair, and she clutched his his coat tightly. The kisses were soft and sweet and tentative, as if their mouths were getting reacquainted. How long had it been? Half a year. Half a year of stupidity and fear and wrongness. It's like her heart fell back into place. They were together. They'd take it day by day and see where everything went. No more stubbornness and impulsive sort-of-weddings.

Her fingers worked on the buttons of his dark coat swiftly as his hands slid under her shirt. She vaguely realised she was wearing her comfiest pyjamas and pulled away.

"If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right," Morgana said. It wasn't the right time. She was fairly hungover and Merlin had just spent hours in a car. He was probably tired, too.

"What, the makeup sex?" Merlin raised a brow.

"And I missed you sex," Morgana said and kissed him on the brow, "it needs to be perfect."

"You just want to sit around and watch _Firefly_ all day," Merlin said knowingly, "I'm in."

"I knew I love you for a reason," she answered with a small grin.

"I'm going to risk going home to take a shower and change," he said, taking her hand.

"I'll change and make some popcorn," Morgana said, "and when you come back Nathan Fillion's beautiful face will be waiting."

"Sounds like a plan," Merlin couldn't help but grin. It would be like old times, sitting around and watching reruns or DVDs or something on Morgana's laptop.

* * *

Gwen opened her eyes blearily. She looked around, confused. This was most definitely not her flat. She tried to move, only to find a pair of arms wrapped around her. She was on top of Arthur, a blanket covering them. Oh no. They were on the couch. Lancelot or even Merlin could've seen them. She bit her lip and shook Arthur awake.

"What's it?" he asked incoherently.

"Get up," she smacked his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked, looking at her.

"We slept on the couch," she hissed in a whisper.

"So?" Arthur asked dumbly, brushing errant curls away from Gwen's shoulder.

"So? Anyone could've walked in on us," Gwen glared.

"Merlin's in Ireland and Lancelot crashed on Gwaine's couch since he was too drunk to walk," Arthur shrugged. Lancelot was sort of a lightweight, and Gwaine lived right near the pub. He and Percival had helped Lancelot hobble on over, and presumably retired to Gwaine's room. Lancelot would've been too drunk to notice what their friends might've been doing in the other room.

"Oh," she said in relief.

"Oh," Arthur repeated a tad mockingly.

"So we're alone?" she asked.

Arthur nodded, and was surprised when Gwen kissed him.

"Happy New Year," she said.

"Happy New Year," Arthur repeated before kissing her.

The door to the flat opened, "Oh God, my eyes!" Merlin shouted, shielding his eyes from the view.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted, and Gwen yelped, hiding under the blanket.

Arthur tried to scramble out from underneath Gwen to put some trousers on, but Merlin blindly made his way through the flat.

"Don't mind me," he said with closed eyes, "I just need to shower and I'll leave you two to...well, shag," Merlin said, reaching his door.

"That's Lancelot's room," Arthur said, equal parts embarrassed and amused.

So it wasn't his door.

"Right," Merlin groped the wall to reach the door to his room. He'd get his duffel bag from the doorway later.

* * *

"Oh Captain, my captain," Morgana sighed, watching Captain Mal bark orders at his crew.

Merlin tried not to laugh at her obvious crush. She was currently leaning against him and his arm was draped across her shoulder. It felt good to be able to do that again. It felt right.

"Should I be jealous?" Merlin asked teasingly.

"A little," Morgana said with a smirk, "besides, I see how you look at the ladies."

"They're all attractive and intelligent ladies. Super genius in River's case," Merlin shrugged.

"You and smart girls," Morgana tutted.

"I have a type, apparently," he said with a small shrug.

"It's a good type," Morgana said.

"Nah," Merlin made a face, only to have Morgana elbow him in the ribs. It was as if nothing had changed.

She briefly wondered if she should tell him of her nightmares, but she didn't have the heart to do it. Not when it was their first day back together. She'd tell him another time.

* * *

**Please review. I appreciate feedback.**


	36. End of an Era, but not The End

**So, we're drawing to a close. Thank you so, so much for reading, following, reviewing, and favoriting. I really appreciate it. There's going to be an epilogue, but I've left some things up in the air on purpose. Plans made at 22 aren't necessarily what happens at 32. **

* * *

**End of an Era, but not The End  
**

Concentrating on River Tam correcting Book's Bible was difficult when Merlin's fingers played with her hair and his head leaned in close to her ear. He kissed her and she bit her lip. She paused the episode and faced Merlin with a teasing grin. The blanket covering them slipped off when she moved.

"Have you missed me that much?" Morgana asked.

"You have no idea," he answered seriously.

Her grin faded immediately, "Oh, God. Shit," she said, understanding the meaning behind his words. She hurt him, and for what reason?

"Hey, we're together again, it's fine," Merlin said soothingly.

She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him softly. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug. She pulled away and he brushed her cheek with his thumb.

"There's no reason to be sad," he murmured and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I was so confused," she said.

"It's okay, you're fine now. We're both fine," Merlin kissed her again.

Morgana wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her rested her forehead against his.

"Yeah," she smiled softly.

They kissed once more and Morgana leaned back against the couch. Merlin settled himself on top of her and smirked.

"Payback for today?" she asked him, referring to his unfortunately timed entry to his flat.

"You know me well," his smirk widened.

Morgana propped herself up on her elbow and lifted up her shirt with her other hand. Merlin immediately moved to help her rid herself of it. Merlin's eyes glazed over at the sight of her in a bra, a bra that he recognised.

"You're trying to kill me," he murmured. He had said it before, and he'd say it again.

"Only in a good way," she said, clutching the back of his head.

"What happened to taking it slow?" Merlin asked.

"We shouldn't deprive ourselves, should we?" Morgana raised a brow.

"Well, no. I guess by 'slow' you meant in terms of proposals and such," he said for clarification.

"Yep," she kissed him.

* * *

Gwen opened the door to the flat, Arthur following her. She'd need a shower and change of clothes, but then they'd be good to go to their New Year's Day lunch with Morgana. The sight they were met with was not what they were expecting.

"Holy mother of God!" Arthur shouted from behind Gwen. He closed his eyes immediately, placing a hand over them for good measure.

Gwen turned a bright shade of pink, having been met with the sight of Merlin's white arse and a presumably naked Morgana beneath him.

Merlin's eyes widened and he rolled off of Morgana in embarrassment, trying to shield his privates from view.

Gwen stood and watched, shell-shocked. Morgana pulled up the blanket from the floor and wrapped it around herself. She sat up and waved awkwardly at the silent Gwen and at Arthur, who couldn't see the wave.

His eyes were still closed and he was mumbling, "Bloody hell. Holy fucking shit. Merlin I will kill your scrawny white arse."

"He's not as scrawny as I thought," Gwen said quietly. Arthur guffawed. Gwen did not just check out the naked Merlin.

Merlin, now wearing pants and a shirt looked at Morgana, who raised her brows.

"I'm quite fond of his arse and the rest of him, so don't you dare," Morgana told her brother.

Arthur slowly opened his eyes and looked between his friend and flatmate and his sister in confusion.

"When did this happen?" he asked stupidly.

"Oh, what, an hour and a half ago?" Morgana shrugged.

"What is it with you two and New Year's?" he made a face.

Morgana and Merlin shared a look and grinned at each other. Arthur made a fake vomiting noise and Gwen looked at him reproachfully.

"Are we still on for lunch?" she asked.

* * *

Merlin was unable to look Arthur or Gwen in the eye. Arthur kept glaring at him, murder written in his blue eyes. Gwen would blush every time her eyes met Merlin's, and Morgana found the entire situation amusing. Uncomfortable, but amusing.

Morgana calmly sipped her tea and took a bite of her sandwich. Merlin poked at a salad. Arthur looked between the two, thought he glared at Merlin most of the time.

"How did this happen?" he finally asked.

"I called to wish her a Happy New Year," Merlin started with a wary look.

"And I had a breakdown over the phone. Next thing I know he's here," Morgana said, grabbing Merlin's hand.

"Awww," Gwen said, while Arthur looked at Morgana.

"Why didn't you tell me, us, that you weren't okay?" Arthur asked.

"And intrude on your happy couple-yness? Morgana asked.

"If we've made you feel left out…" Gwen looked at Morgana apologetically.

"No, no. It's just… I had a lot to deal with and didn't want to bother anyone. I guess I couldn't hold it in any longer," Morgana shrugged.

Arthur levelled a look at Merlin and nodded silently. Merlin blinked, wondering if he's just received Arthur's blessing in dating Morgana (again).

"We need to talk to each other if something's bothering us," Gwen said thoughtfully.

"Can I start?" Arthur asked with a small frown.

"Sure," Gwen nodded at her boyfriend.

"It bothers me that you were checking Merlin out," he said.

"I was not," Gwen sputtered, looking at Merlin and Morgana.

"It's okay if you were. He's hot," Morgana said nonchalantly.

"Ehm, excuse me," Merlin looked at Morgana with a raised brow.

"You know I'm only using you for the great sex," Morgana smirked at him.

Arthur turned a brilliant shade of purple and dropped his sandwich back onto his plate.

"Someone kill me now," he mumbled irritably.

Gwen patted him on the shoulder in comfort, and Arthur hung his head. Morgana laughed and Merlin rolled his eyes. Everything was proving to return to its normal state of being.

* * *

_"Goodbye, Morgana," Merlin said in a resigned voice. He held her as she crumpled in his arms, taking her last breaths. Merlin's eyes filled with tears and it was the last thing she saw._

_Everything faded and in the place of a crying Merlin was a happier one. He looked more like her Merlin, not the Warlock. He was older and was running through a hospital corridor. He was a doctor. He did it. He became a doctor, just like he wanted. _

_He burst through the doors of what appeared to be the maternity ward. Still, he had to move through a corridor before reaching the waiting room._

_"Where is my wife?" he asked in a loud voice._

_"Oy, I'm right here," Morgana snapped from behind him. He turned around to see Morgana glaring at him. One hand was on her back while the other was wrapped around her swollen belly. She looked like she swallowed a planet. _

_"Oh," Merlin looked relieved._

_"What sort of doctor are you, leaving me to bring her here?" Arthur asked his brother-in-law._

_"This is not the time," Morgana grumbled, wincing in pain._

_"How far apart are your contractions?" Merlin asked her, moving to her side._

_"You're the fucking doctor," Morgana hissed._

_"Stop swearing in front of my niece or nephew," Arthur made a face._

_"Oh fuck off," Morgana rolled her eyes._

_"Where's Gwen?" Merlin asked._

_"At reception filling out the paperwork," Arthur said._

_"Lovely woman. Should've married her," Morgana said in annoyance. At least Gwen wouldn't have put her through the pain that was childbirth._

_"I love you too," Merlin grinned._

_"Don't you smile at me, you fucker, you did this to me," Morgana snapped._

_"There was fucking involved, yes," Merlin blinked._

_Morgana tried not to smile and Arthur yelled, "Stop, she or he could hear you!"_

_"Ahh," Morgana cringed in pain. Merlin was never touching her again._

_"Oh, God," Merlin's eyes widened, and he took Morgana's arm to help her to the waiting room._

_"I can walk. I'm pregnant, not immobile," she swatted his hand away._

_"Just let me help you," Merlin scowled at her._

_"I'm fin-owwww, that hurts like a mother," Morgana doubled over in pain._

_Arthur looked at them like a deer caught in the headlights. What was he supposed to do? _

_Gwen walked in from the waiting room, "There's a room ready. Let's go."_

_"I bloody love you," Morgana looked at Gwen with a small smile._

_"Now's not the time," Gwen said, taking Morgana's arm to help her into the waiting room so the nurse could wheel her in._

_Merlin and Arthur followed behind them._

Morgana opened her eyes and looked over at Merlin, who was fast asleep next to her. She blinked quickly, trying to wrap her mind around what she had just seen. First, the Warlock killed the Witch, and then she had a baby? Which was it, then, that she should believe?

"It has to be the happy one, it has to," she told herself quietly.

Merlin moved, holding her closer. It had to be the happy one.

* * *

It was two weeks into the spring term—the final term they'd ever have, unless they all agreed to pursue master's degrees.

Merlin and Morgana sat in the library, each on their own laptops to fill out applications and research jobs and universities. Take away cups of hot chocolate rested next to them.

Morgana had selected the _Irish Times, The Evening Herald, The Times, The Sun, The Evening Standard, The Belfast Telegraph_, and _Fortnight_, which was more for arts and politics than the others she planned on applying to, at least for an internship.

Merlin was busy researching med schools. Part of him wanted to go to Belfast, because then he'd be closer to his parents and his old friends, but he was hesitant. There were always the obvious choices like Oxford and Cambridge, but he didn't have quite enough cash. His marks were excellent, yes, but there was only so much a scholarship would cover. He had some money he had grudgingly taken from Gaius, but it wasn't even enough to cover books.

Just to be safe, Morgana was looking into the _Cambridge Evening News_ and _The Oxford Times._

Merlin had been checking out the School of Medicine at Trinity in Dublin. Dublin was fairly close to home, anyway. He'd been there a few times and liked it If he did go to Belfast, it was only two hours to Dublin (if Morgana ended up working there).

Morgana took a sip of her hot chocolate and made a face.

"What happens if we get separated?" Morgana asked.

Merlin licked his lips, "London and Belfast are ten hours apart. It's not too bad. There are weekends and holidays."

Morgana nodded. That would be the worst-case scenario, wouldn't it? They could survive without each other for a few weeks at a time, surely.

"Do you _want_ to go to Belfast?" Merlin asked suddenly.

"If you're there, yes. If not, no," Morgana answered honestly, "It's either London for me or Dublin."

Merlin nodded slowly. That could work. He liked Dublin well enough, and it was closer to home than London. He'd be further away from Gwen, Arthur, Lancelot, and the lot of them, but there were always holidays and phone calls and the like.

"If I'm completely honest, I want to go home," Morgana said quietly. She loved London itself, and she loved all her friends here. She just wanted to get away from Uther and the way to do that was to return to her childhood home.

"I know how you feel," Merlin looked at her from over his laptop.

"We'll figure it out," Morgana said with certainty.

"Yeah, we will," Merlin smiled.

* * *

Arthur rolled his eyes as Uther prattled on about his upcoming internship at Camelot. Now that Aggravaine was in jail, the Vice President of the company, Annis Caerleon, had taken over. Uther couldn't possibly return as head of the company since he was Prime Minister. Arthur, though, Arthur had a head for business and he could take over the company by the age of thirty. It was the perfect plan. A Pendragon running Camelot was only right. Morgana certainly wouldn't want the job, so Arthur was his only hope.

Unfortunately, Arthur had different ideas. He was fine with the internship, he needed the work experience, but he didn't quite want to jump into working like Morgana did. Morgana knew what she wanted from life, whereas he had no clue.

"It will be nice to see a Pendragon take the reins again," Uther said with a small grin.

"Dad," Arthur started, "about that."

Uther put down his glass of wine, waiting for him to continue.

"I don't want to start working right away after the internship. I still need to get a masters and I want to travel," Arthur said, bracing himself for the worst.

"What do you intend to do first? Travel or continue your schooling?" Uther asked with a raised brow.

"I don't know yet," Arthur said quietly.

"Well, think about it. Your internship will be over the summer anyway. Perhaps you could take autumn term off and start your masters in the spring," Uther suggested.

Arthur gaped at him. Did Uther Pendragon just suggest something reasonable?

"Don't look so shocked. I just want you to be happy," Uther said.

"Right," Arthur nodded slowly and shoved a forkful of roast beef into his mouth.

"How's Morgana?" Uther asked after a few minutes of silence.

She still wouldn't answer his calls or respond to his messages.

"She's good. Applying at papers," Arthur said with a shrug.

"Is she happy? Content?" Uther sipped his wine.

"She's fine, dad. She was a bit off, but she's in a good place now," Arthur hoped Uther would catch his drift. He didn't want Uther to throw her off the newfound balance she had in her life.

"That's good."

Uther sounded resigned and continued to eat his dinner.

"Dad?" Arthur said.

"Yes?" he looked up.

"She'll come around eventually," Arthur tried to smile.

"I hope so," Uther offered a small smile, and returned to his meal.

* * *

_Last day of February_

Gwen read the letter repeatedly, a smile forming on her face. She had just come from fetching the post from their mailbox on the ground floor.

"What is it?" Morgana asked from across the couch.

"I got the job at the Apsley House," Gwen told her with a huge grin, "it's conditional on my final marks, but still."

"Oh my God!" Morgana jumped off of her seat and hugged Gwen.

"I know," Gwen said, returning the house.

"That's amazing," Morgana pulled away, still smiling.

"I know. I get to spend all day surrounded by the Duke of Wellington's stuff," Gwen enthused.

"That's brilliant. This calls for a celebration," Morgana cheered.

"I'll make some food," Gwen said.

"And I'll buy the booze," Morgana nodded.

* * *

Three hours later, the two flatmates sat on the couch, glasses of wine in hand. The spaghetti had been eaten quickly, and the bottle of wine was in the process of being drained.

"I am so happy for you," Morgana said sincerely.

"Thanks. We need to do this once you get your paper job," Gwen said.

"If," Morgana corrected.

"When," Gwen insisted. She took a sip, "We should congratulate Lancelot, too."

"On what?" Morgana asked in confusion.

"He's changed his career path," Gwen said.

"No more football and business?" Morgana asked.

"Nope. He's brilliant with art, so he's going to paint part time while he works at the British Library," Gwen said with a smile.

"That's fantastic," Morgana smiled, "so he had been taking those art history courses, huh?"

"Yeah. It took some convincing," Gwen rolled her eyes.

"I'm surprised he's not off to Dublin to be with Elaine," Morgana said after a moment.

"I guess they're not official, or something," Gwen gave a small shrug, "besides she still has a year left."

"Whatever," Morgana let the topic drop, "Well done, him. Well done, you," Morgana raised her glass.

* * *

_March 1_

Merlin pulled down his hood upon entering the pub. It was the middle of the day, a Wednesday, nonetheless, and Gwaine was falling asleep at the bar counter.

Morgana waved him over to a table for two, two mugs of beer on waiting for them. He had just left Lancelot at the flat as he was video chatting with Elaine. He didn't want to be present for that conversation. They had quite a bit to talk about, what with his new job and her still being in university.

"Hey," Merlin greeted, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey," Morgana said as Merlin sat down across from her.

"How's Gwen? Excited?" Merlin asked immediately.

"Hung over from the wine I bought yesterday, but she still went to class," Morgana grinned.

"Bless," Merlin shook his head and took the cider.

"I know," Morgana nodded.

A Florence and the Machine song played over the radio. Morgana knew the words, and she hummed along.

Morgana took a sip from her cup, looking at Merlin over the rim.

"What?" Merlin asked.

"I had a weird dream a while ago," Morgana decided to share. She wouldn't have mentioned it if she didn't keep seeing it, over and over again. Her apparent death, then the scene in the hospital. Lately, her death was missing and she only saw the bit in the hospital, then her and Merlin cooing over a small baby. That was it. No betrayals, no murders, no poisoning. Nothing.

"What was it?" Merlin set his cup down.

"You killed me, then it all changed and I was in a hospital and you were a doctor, and Arthur was yelling that we needed to stop swearing in front of his niece or nephew," Morgana recounted, wrinkling her nose.

"A kid? Us?" Merlin said, seeming to ignore the killing part.

"Seriously, that's what you pick up on?" Morgana gaped at him.

"Look, I would never kill you. Unless you took the last biscuit," Merlin said with a cheeky grin.

"Maybe I'll kill you first," Morgana threatened.

"Ooh, your true colours are revealed," Merlin snickered.

"Merlin, this is serious," Morgana snapped, "you stabbed me with a sword."

Merlin's lips quirked into a small smirk, and Morgana rolled her eyes.

"Not that kind of sword, pervert," she tried not to laugh.

"You're the one who thought it," Merlin pointed at her.

"Can we please be serious for once?" Morgana shook her head.

"Sorry," Merlin sobered, "So I killed you in a past life, if that past life was real. I'm sorry," he said earnestly.

"I think I'm more upset about the pain that is childbirth, actually," Morgana said. She wouldn't dwell on the past when the future was so much more appealing.

"Sorry?" Merlin offered.

"If we have kids, you'll be the one to give birth," Morgana informed him.

Merlin raised a brow, "I'm not a doctor yet, but I'm pretty sure that's impossible."

"Then you're screwed," Morgana said, then grinned, "or not, actually."

"What was the news you wanted to tell me?" Merlin said after rolling his eyes.

"Oh, that," Morgana grinned, "You're looking at possibly a new rookie reporter for The _Evening Herald_."

"Oh my God, that's amazing," Merlin stood, nearly knocking the table over. He moved next to her and hugged her.

"Thanks, but I'm still waiting on the _Irish Times_," Morgana hugged back.

"Isn't that where your dad worked?" Merlin asked.

"Yep," Morgana nodded.

"Still, congrats," Merlin moved back to his seat.

"Thanks," she smiled, slightly embarrassed.

"What happens if we're separated?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"We'll figure it out as it happens. I'm not willing to let you go," Merlin reached across the table to take her hand.

"Stop making me want to jump your bones in the middle of the pub," Morgana chastised, smiling.

Merlin laughed, and Morgana started to sing along (badly) with Florence.

_"But know, in some way I'm there with you, Up against the wall on a Wednesday afternoon."_

Merlin smiled and squeezed Morgana's hand. They'd be just fine.

* * *

_April_

"I got in," Merlin murmured, reading the email he'd received from the university.

"You got in?!" Morgana dropped her textbook. Studying for finals could wait.

"It's conditional on my final marks, but yeah," Merlin nodded.

He had gotten in at Belfast and London, but he was waiting on Trinity especially since Morgana hadn't taken the London papers jobs (she turned them down once they mentioned Uther being her guardian), but accepted the job at the _Irish Times_ once the editor-in-chief told her that while her father was essentially a genius at his job, she'd have to start on the bottom like everyone else.

"Oh, this is amazing!" she leapt from the couch in Merlin's flat and threw her arms around him.

Merlin lifted her in the air and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hooked her legs around his hips.

"So this is good, yeah?" he grinned stupidly.

"Fucking fantastic," Morgana corrected, kissing him once more.

* * *

_May_

Late nights of coffee and hours spent at the library paid off. They were graduating in a day's time. The last time any of them had fun was heading up to Belfast and then Dublin for Easter holidays, besides the days of their respective birthdays.

But they were done with their final examinations, and the pub was bursting with revellers. The pub hadn't been this crowded since the first week of their first fall term. It was oddly fitting there be almost no place to sit.

While Gwen and Morgana had been on their own, later joined by Merlin and then Lancelot, this time they had to push several tables together to make room for them all. Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, Arthur, Lancelot, Mithian, Leon, and Percival sat around, waiting for Gwaine to bring over their drinks.

"I can't believe we're done," Leon said in a tired voice.

Mithian nodded, "Finally."

"It's been a good few years," Arthur said, "aside from you trying to stake me."

Leon chuckled and Mithian levelled a glare at the blond.

"Can we be nice tonight, please?" Percival asked.

"Percy's right," Lancelot said.

"Where are our drinks?" Morgana asked, twisting around in her seat.

Gwaine was still waiting in line. Jerry was so damn slow.

"Oy, lover boy, hurry up," Morgana called to him.

"Morgana," Percy rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"I apologise, she's off her meds," Merlin said solemnly.

Arthur began to cackle at his sister's expense, and everyone else chuckled.

Morgana raised a brow, "You're so snarky."

"You've just noticed?" Lancelot laughed, and Merlin nodded.

"We snarky people come in pairs," Merlin said.

"True," Morgana conceded.

Gwaine finally arrived with a tray of drinks and set it down. He watched as his friends immediately reached for their preferred drinks and shook his head.

"I kind of blame myself for your alcoholism," he said, taking his seat next to Percy.

"Thank you for that, by the way," Morgana said with a smirk.

The night wore on and they began to talk about their plans after graduation. Gwen had her job at the Apsley House, Lancelot at the British Library, Arthur his internship at Camelot, Percival a place as a reserve for Arsenal, Mithian a training contract at a law firm, Leon a trainee job at the Bank of England, though he'd be getting continuing university to get a Masters in finance, Merlin's place at Trinity's School of Medicine, and Morgana's job at the _Irish Times_.

* * *

The entire graduation ceremony was a blur. As they all had different majors, each of their ceremonies occurred at different times at different auditoriums or courtyards of the university.

Morgana, still wearing her cap and gown, was hugging Merlin when Uther cleared his throat.

"Uther," she nodded her head stiffly. Merlin offered a weak wave.

"Congratulations, Morgana," Uther said as calmly as he could, "you too, Merlin."

"My graduation is after Arthur's," Merlin informed him. Uther nodded.

"Were you here for the ceremony?" Morgana asked him curiously.

"Yes," he admitted.

Morgana bit her lip, "Thanks for being here. And for taking care of me all those years."

"I…your welcome," was all he could say.

They walked towards the courtyard together, Morgana holding Merlin's hand and Uther tried not to see them as Vivienne and Gorlois next to him. Arthur's ceremony was next, and he was surprised to see Uther, Morgana, and Merlin sitting in the audience with not an ounce of bloodshed.

* * *

"So, this is it?" Merlin asked. It was later that night, the whole lot of them gathered in the pub. They sat around several pushed together tables, as they tended to do.

"For now," Leon said, "I mean, most of us are still in London for the time being."

"I need to be in Dublin by the end of the month," Morgana wrapped an arm around Merlin's waist. Merlin wondered why she didn't call Dublin home like she usually did.

"I don't need to be there 'til September," Merlin said.

"But you're going together anyway," Arthur told his now almost former flatmate.

Merlin merely smiled. Everyone knew the answer to that.

"We've all got our jobs and postgrads to worry about now," Mithian said and drained her glass of beer.

"Not all of us, darling," Gwaine said, for he already had his dream job as a bartender.

"We need to promise not to lose contact with each other," Gwen said, "and not calls every few months, but genuine conversations once a week, and seeing each other more than just on holidays."

"Promise," Lancelot nodded simply. He and Gwen shared a smile and Arthur let it go. Exes were allowed to be friends.

"I know where you all live if you don't listen," Gwen threatened.

Percival made a face, "What if we move?"

"I'll find you," Gwen said simply.

Everyone laughed, and Arthur shook his head, "She's dead serious."

"Man, I'm going to miss you guys," Morgana admitted.

Imagine that, the Ice Bitch missing a group of people. Dublin was her childhood home, but London was her grownup home. It took her so long to realise that, and now she was leaving. It was so damn cheesy, the 'home is where the heart is' sentiment, but it was true. As long as Merlin was with her, she'd be home. Maybe their paths would keep them close to their friends.

Maybe there was no such thing as destiny or past lives, but there was _something_. Something brought this group of people together at the same time. Maybe it was fate.

Even if it wasn't, she was allowed to forge her own path, and it was permanently intertwined with Merlin's. Merlin and Morgana, as it should've been, and should be.

* * *

**Please review, I really appreciate it. One chapter left! Happy New Year to you all!  
**


	37. Epilogue

**So, we've reached the end. Thank you so, so much for reading and supporting this story. I'm in the midst of planning a modern AU but with Merlin and Morgana as rock stars two different bands with forced to work together by their managers, Arthur and Gwen, respectively, on tour after Morgana receives a lot of bad press for her partying ways. So look out for that in a while if it sounds interesting. On we go.**

* * *

**Epilogue**_  
_

_4.5 Years Later_

It was a lovely day, really. Snow fell outside, surrounding the estate and resting on the marble and stone stairs leading up to the front door. The backyard and garden were nearly a foot deep in snow, and more was sure to fall.

Morgana typed on her laptop quickly, as she had an article due to be submitted for the paper by midnight. A mug of coffee rested on the dining room table next to her. She didn't have the heart to work in her father's old study, so she had turned the dining room, which was rarely used, into a workroom.

Mrs Gibbons kept trying to check in on her and bring her biscuits or food, but she just didn't have much of an appetite.

Mrs Gibbons reached for her mug, as it was half empty and the coffee was cold.

"I'm fine, Mrs Gibbons," Morgana said, not even looking up from her laptop.

She ignored her and took the mug, replacing it with a fresh cup of coffee.

"Mrs Gibbons," Morgana turned around. Oh. He was most definitely not Mrs Gibbons.

"Hey," she smiled at him.

"Hey," Merlin slid into the chair next to her. He'd just arrived home, snow melting in his hair. He wore a dark blue jumper, and his worn old scarf was likely hanging on the coat rack near the foyer. It was nice that they were getting a white Christmas. Apparently it was even snowing in the city.

"What are you doing home so soon?" she asked, picking up her fresh coffee.

"Surgery went easier than planned," Merlin said, snatching a biscuit from the plate Mrs Gibbons had set out earlier.

"Were the older doctors playing nice?" Morgana asked with a small smirk.

"Shut up," Merlin scowled, "Just two more months of surgery and I'm done."

"Medicine was better, huh?" Morgana said sympathetically.

"That and general practice," Merlin made a face. He hated going into surgery. The attendings were usually nice and more than competent, but he didn't fancy cutting a patient open.

"Just two months and you get your certificate," Morgana placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank God," Merlin sighed, still munching on the biscuit, "How's the article?"

"Almost done," Morgana said, "I'm just glad I'm done covering stories like 'cow stuck on barn roof'."

Merlin snorted back his laughter, "Now you're on your way to being a political pundit and Sherlock Holmes all at once."

Morgana grinned, and turned back to her article. Merlin sat next to her, reading over her shoulder and offering his opinion when something struck his interest. He spent most of his time eating the biscuits, though.

Mrs Gibbons wondered how the two survived on their own in Dublin when Merlin was still at university and the manor was just for weekends and holidays. Both would end up so consumed with their work they'd forget to eat, though Merlin was a bit better about it. Though the man could cook, med school left little time to do so.

Every weekend they visited, Gibbons would send them back to their tiny flat with a week's worth of food or enough to tide them over until their next visit. Now that Merlin was an interning, they could stay permanently at the old Dulac estate.

When they moved in and tried to organise their belongings, Morgana refused to move anything in her parents' room that hadn't been sold at auction after their deaths. Some of her father's ties and her mother's dresses and jewels remained.

She moved her old dolls and dollhouses and toys to a guest bedroom and she and Merlin re-painted the walls of her old room light blue-grey colour. Her posters went up, but Merlin added a few of his. The walls and dressers were adorned with photos from London of their friends and Gaius and Merlin's parents and friends in Northern Ireland. If finally felt homey.

Morgana joked that they should start a wall of ticket stubs for all their train journeys to and from London and Belfast, and Merlin pointed out that would be pointless since they purchased train cards.

Now it was almost Christmas, and everyone agreed to meet in Dublin this year. Mithian, Leon, Gwen, Arthur, and Lancelot would be coming from London. Gwaine and Percival were presumably already in Dublin at his mum's so they could pick up Elaine, and Will, Freya, Clark, and Arianne would be coming via Will's car. Hunith and Balinor said they'd come by for New Year's. Morgause and Cendred may or may not be attending, and Uther claimed he was too busy, what with running a company and all (his term as Prime Minister was over, and the law precluded him from running again).

Merlin tried to convince Gaius to come by, but he made the excuse of having to look over the shop.

Morgana made a noise of triumph. Her article was finished, sent to the editor, and she was done. Now she could make use of her two weeks off. She glanced at Merlin, then at the empty plate that once held biscuits.

"I was hungry," Merlin said sheepishly.

Morgana snorted and closed her laptop, "C'mon, we've got Christmas shopping to do."

* * *

It still felt odd, after nearly a year, to be able to take a car in and out of Dublin. Merlin preferred the bus, as he felt so awkward around Morgana's driver. _Our_ driver, she would correct. What was hers was his, and vice-versa.

They had done their shopping, after hours of agonising over what to get everyone. Merlin was of the opinion they should just get everyone their own bottle of booze. It was a great idea.

"We can't just get them bottles of alcohol," Morgana had rolled her eyes.

"Why the bloody hell not? They'd appreciate it," Merlin insisted.

Morgana ended up choosing most of the presents: a dark red silk scarf for Gwen, a pair of warm blue mittens for Arianne, a mint green wool hat for Freya, a pair of dark brown gloves for Mithian, a red tie for Arthur, since he was a businessman now, Merlin picked out a small set of paintbrushes for Lancelot, a woven wristband for Percy, sunglasses for Leon (who always seemed to misplace his), a grey scarf for Will, a dark green hat for Clark (Morgana thought it'd be cute to buy him and Freya matching presents, Merlin snorted), and a bottle of whisky for Gwaine. They didn't buy anything for Cendred and Morgause since they had an extensive registry list for their yet to be born child. The pair had finally settled down permanently in London, though Cendred still travelled frequently. Morgause couldn't exactly sit on a plane every week whilst seven months pregnant.

* * *

"Shit," Morgana tripped over the rug in the corridor. Gwen had called her, saying they were on their way. Morgana had sent two cars to pick up the Londoners.

"Merlin?" she called, wondering where the hell he'd gotten to. She fixed the clasp on her necklace, the old pendant Merlin had gotten her years ago. There was rarely a time she didn't have it about her neck.

She tried to adjust her boot as she walked, but that was why she tripped in the first place. She walked towards the study while trying to fix her shoe, and ended up crashing into Merlin. He dropped the book he was holding and she fell on top of him. This was familiar.

"Hello, stranger," Morgana said, not moving from her spot.

"Hello, dear," Merlin grinned, kissing her softly, "comfortable?"

"Very," Morgana smiled.

They remained like that with no intention of moving. Morgana cast a glance to the book and frowned when she saw it was old magic book.

"What were you doing?" she asked.

"Just…something told me I should take a look," Merlin shrugged, "it looks like the blank pages are missing. I was bringing it to show you."

"What?" Morgana asked, finally standing up. Merlin followed suit.

"The magic pages, they're missing, or they're written on. My memory's a bit fuzzy," Merlin scratched his head.

Morgana didn't even know why they still had it. It had been lugged from London to their Dublin flat, and now here. Neither of them spared a second glance at it. Merlin picked it up and showed her. The last page had writing. She read it, and it ended just before the legend of the lady and servant was to end. What did they do, change the course of history? She snorted at the thought. Magic or no magic, how could pages just disappear?

"Oh," she said in confusion. Merlin took the book and dashed back to the study, leaving it on the desk. He rushed back to her and they walked downstairs.

They reached the bottom of the stairs and Merlin kissed her for no apparent reason.

"Mistletoe," he pointed to the garlands affixed to the railing.

"You have to stand under it, you dolt, not next to it," Morgana smirked.

"Do I really need an excuse to kiss you? After all these years?" Merlin asked.

"No," Morgana kissed him on the cheeks, "but we have company."

* * *

Maybe cramming all of their friends into an admittedly large living room wasn't the best idea. Freya had refused a drink, and immediately Will decided that Clark had gotten her pregnant and threatened to bash his face in. Arianne had to shield her brother from both Will and Merlin, who turned a brilliant shade of red at the thought of little Freya being pregnant, despite Freya being a grown-ass woman.

"Whoa," Freya shouted, "why can't I refuse alcohol without being pregnant?"

"Even if I were pregnant, I wouldn't give it up," Gwaine said from one end of the couch.

Percy rolled his eyes, "That's why we're not having kids."

"Oy, I can't get pregnant anyway," Gwaine pouted.

"Aww, your kids would be so cute," Gwen smiled a bit, sending a glance to Arthur.

"Of course they will, have you seen us?" Gwaine snorted.

"So, you're not pregnant?" Will asked weakly.

"That's no one's business but mine and Clark's," Freya said stubbornly.

"Freya, love, they're going to know anyway," Clark said gently, making sure Arianne had a tight grip on Will's arm, just in case.

"Oh, fine. I'm pregnant," Freya said, throwing her arms in the air.

There was a collective squeal from Arianne, Elaine, Gwen, Mithian, and Morgana, who immediately hugged Freya.

"You stuck her with _your_ pointy end, didn't you, mate?" Gwaine whooped from his seat. Morgana may have made the mistake of lending Gwaine her _Song of Fire and Ice_ collection a while ago. Clark turned pink, and Will's jaw nearly dropped. Leon laughed, and discreetly gave Gwaine a high-five for the comment. Mithian saw and shook her head at her boyfriend.

Percival shouted his well wishes, and Lancelot stood to hug Freya and clapped Clark on the back.

Merlin pushed through the group of girls and hugged Freya tightly, "I better be godfather," he said, kissing her forehead.

"Definitely, I'm afraid Will's head's about to explode," Freya offered a shaky smile.

Merlin moved over to Clark and smiled, "Congrats, man."

"Thanks," Clark smiled nervously.

Everyone began to fuss around Freya, and she finally snapped, "Oh for Christ's sake. I didn't want anyone to know," she glared at Will, "because it's Christmas and it's not such a big deal."

"There's a person inside your stomach. Kind of a big deal," Elaine pointed out, drinking a glass of scotch.

Freya levelled a glare at her as well. She'd love a scotch or whisky or beer right about now, but no. She was pregnant. And happy, but she was also just a school counsellor and Clark was a mechanic. Sure, her parents were middle class, and Clark's dad was rich, but they didn't want to rely on him (she knew not to count on her parents; they weren't exactly pleased with their recent, as in two-months ago recent, town-hall wedding).

"Can we all just focus on Christmas? And also how amazing this house is?" Freya asked.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells," Morgana started to sing off-key, Merlin joining her immediately. He sounded so much better.

Soon, everyone started to join in with the singing, and Will finally smiled at Freya and Clark, nodding. He still saw her as a little sister, but they were grownups now.

* * *

Dinner was a long and loud affair. Arthur tore into his food as if he'd not just stuffed biscuits and rolls in his face while they were in the living room. Gwen looked at him, distaste plain on her face.

"You're going to need a few more holes in that belt there, Arthur," Merlin joked.

Arthur guffawed, and then glared at Merlin once Gwen burst into peals of laughter.

"You two need to move back to London. Arthur's surrounded by employees kissing his arse to get a promotion and the like. There's only so much the rest of us can do to keep his ego in check," Gwen said with a smile.

"His ego's the size of London," Mithian joined in the conversation, Leon nodding in agreement.

"More like the whole of the UK," Morgana snorted.

"Oy," Arthur frowned at his sister.

"I speak the truth," Morgana shrugged.

"Not the whole of the UK," Merlin said, "you need to include the commonwealths."

Arthur shook his head and Merlin grinned. He really did miss Merlin's humour, insulting as it was at times.

"So, when's the wedding?" Arianne asked, looking at Gwen and Arthur.

"We could ask you the same," Gwen countered.

"Hell no," Arianne made a face.

"We're never getting married," Will said in agreement.

"You're practically married as is," Clark pointed out. He'd like to see his sister settled and happy, but if she was happy without the ring and ceremony, then he'd be happy too.

"I'd like to inform you that _we _can't get married," Percy said, gesturing between himself and Gwaine.

"But we fuck like rabbits anyway," Gwaine smiled crookedly.

"Oh, God," Lancelot groaned, "not at the table."

"We're not going to shag on the table, don't worry," Gwaine said with a wink, "though you can watch if you like."

Percival smacked Gwaine on the shoulder gently. Sometimes he didn't know when to shut up.

"We're not related," Elaine closed her eyes from second-hand embarrassment. She was tired of her brother hitting on her boyfriend.

Merlin leaned in close to Morgana's ear, "Whose idea was it to get everyone here together at once?"

"We must've been insane," Morgana bit her lip.

"Hey, lovebirds, care to share with the class?" Arthur made a face at his sister.

"Fuck off," Morgana stuck her tongue out.

"So when's the wedding?" Percival asked politely.

Merlin and Morgana shared a look, "About that."

Gwen's eyes immediately went to Morgana's hand. She had the first engagement ring Merlin had given her five years ago, but now a thin silver band joined it. She looked at Merlin, and noticed he was hiding his hand under the table.

"Oh my God," Gwen said, "congratulations!"

"Thanks," Morgana smiled a bit. Leave it to Gwen to figure it out before anyone else.

"You got married and didn't tell anyone?" Arthur had a mind to strangle them.

"Not exactly the first time," Gwen pointed out, referring to their engagement and unofficial wedding.

"Thanks," Morgana sent her best friend a 'please don't bring that up' look.

"We didn't want to bother anyone since we're all so busy, and we figured since we're together today anyway, we can celebrate this way," Merlin shrugged.

"Aww," Mithian said, "that's so sweet. But stupid. We would've made time," she scowled a bit.

"Sorry?" Merlin said.

"Don't give her ideas," Leon said jokingly. He'd like nothing more than to put a ring on Mithian's finger, but they were content as they were.

"So did no one know?" Lancelot asked, a bit surprised Merlin wouldn't mention anything to him.

"Just my parents," Merlin said, "and that was just because we needed witnesses."

"I'll let Uther know after New Year," Morgana shrugged. She couldn't bear to call him 'dad'.

"Are you pregnant?" Arthur asked suddenly.

"Would I be drinking like Gwaine if I were?" Morgana raised a brow.

"Fair point," Arthur nodded, relieved. He wasn't ready to be an uncle.

"So, here's to Freya and Clark's baby and Merlin and Morgana's wedding," Lancelot raised his glass.

"I'll drink to that," Arianne said, nudging Will, who was looking between the two couples. Both his best friends were married, and one was expecting a child. When did they get old enough for that to happen?

"You're my best friends," Will took a breath, "Clark, Morgana, look after them."

"Of course," Clark said seriously, and Morgana nodded.

"Cheers," Will said, everyone else chiming in.

"What about you then?" Morgana asked her brother.

Gwen blushed and Arthur glared, "I _was _going to propose later tonight, but since everyone's plans are being thwarted…"

Arthur's look softened and he reached into his pocket, taking out a ring. Gwen's eyes widened and she looked around the table. Bloody idiots, they all knew. No wonder they looked so sheepish. Lancelot grinned knowingly, and Merlin gave Morgana an annoyed look. Morgana shrugged, feeling bad that she ruined his proposal plans. They told everyone but her and Gwen. Rude.

"Guinevere, will you marry me?" Arthur asked, holding out the ring to her.

She nodded quickly from the seat next to him and he slipped the ring on her finger. She threw her arms around him in a hug, and Arthur kissed her.

"I think this calls for more drinks," Morgana said, as a way to make up for ruining his plan.

Merlin walked into the kitchen and emerged with a fresh bottle of wine, "Cheers, everyone!" he raised it before opening the bottle.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana collapsed onto the couch in the living room long after everyone had left or gone to sleep. Tomorrow was Boxing Day, but everyone had their own plans. Gwaine, Percival, Elaine, and Lancelot were staying in Dublin and they'd meet for lunch the next day. Mithian got a call from her boss telling her the court date for one of the cases she was working on was moved up for the day after tomorrow instead of after New Years, so she and Leon left for London.

Clark and Freya were staying in one of the guest rooms, as were Will and Arianne, and Arthur and Gwen in the other room. Mrs Gibbons was absolutely thrilled there were more people around to feed and look after.

"Never again," Morgana nestled her head onto Merlin's chest. Merlin wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her close.

"Our friends are quite a handful," Merlin conceded.

"I'm glad they know, now," Morgana said quietly.

"Me too," Merlin smiled.

They remained quiet for a few minutes. They hadn't had a moment alone to just relax since Merlin started his interning at the hospital and since Morgana started to write more articles. Her research led to a lot of digging around and hounding people for information. Merlin likened her to a detective rather than a journalist most of the time.

"I talked to dad on the phone," Merlin informed her, "and then mum. They sound so happy."

He sounded wistful. He could've had both parents growing up. He loved his mother dearly, but Balinor was different. Six years ago they were strangers, and now they were closer than Merlin could've ever hoped. It helped that they were so close, location-wise. Every weekend that wasn't spent at the manor was spent at his parents'. _Parents_. As in two. It was nice.

"I guess I'll have to call Uther eventually," Morgana sighed. Their relationship was on shaky ground. Morgana forgave him for his misdeeds since he was such a wreck, but she'd never forget. He betrayed her parents, but most importantly, his best friend.

"Eventually's not now," Merlin murmured, already drifting off to sleep. His fingers brushed against her waist, holding her close.

Morgana closed her eyes and fell asleep listening to Merlin's heartbeat. Their friends would probably find them in the morning and tease them, but that was fine by her. They were fine, they were all fine.

Upstairs in the study, the old book magic book glowed a brilliant shade of gold and floated to hide towards the back of a shelf. Its job was done.

* * *

**So, that's the end. I left the end a bit open-ended. You can read into the magic book what you will, but I have my own ideas about it. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following. **


End file.
